Even top-dollar hotels can't seem to insulate the walls between rooms worth a damn. Hyesung sighed as he recognized the familiar bass beat of “Wa” from the next room, knowing his baby bird was probably 3 bottles deep into too much thinking on the past, and knowing it wasn't whether he'd go over and talk to him, but when. It was late, he was tired, he wanted to ice his knee and enjoy being alone for a few precious hours … but it was Jinnie. He was already knocking on the door to the next room before he realized he'd left his own.

“Yah, ChoongJae! Open the door!” he shouted against the massive wooden door. Why not make the walls out of this? You'd never hear a thing! ::taktaktak:: “Jin-ah!” Finally the door opened a crack, and the light from the hallway barely cut into the smoke and darkness of the entryway.

“Hyung?” Junjin's voice was hoarse, though you could only just tell; he'd have been crying again. The door opened a few centimeters more, “just you, hyung?”

“Ne, Jinnie, just me, let me in already!” Hyesung's nagging was gentle but brooked no refusal. He pressed against the door and Junjin stepped back into the room, back to the overstuffed wingback chair and sidetable full of green bottles.

Hyesung turned the music down enough to speak over, then moved to lean against Jin's chair. “You gonna make hyung pour for himself?” he teased as his dongsaeng tossed back another shot of the Chamisul. Jin looked up sharply, then looked down guiltily and filled the glass for his brother.

If only taking the glass would stop him, Hyesung thought as he took the shotglass and sat on the edge of the bed. Junjin was already back looking at the bottle, toying with it on the table. Sipping at the soju, he counted his words carefully. “Tonight was a good night for the recording. I didn't have to threaten the sound manager once about my monitor. Maybe we should tell them we're recording every night?” The joke earned him a whisper of a smirk, a flicker of an eyebrow. It wasn't too late, at least. He wasn't too far into the darkness yet.

The softer strains of Apeun Sarang played in the space between them. Jin had let go of the bottle and was running a finger along the seam of the arm of the chair, picking at threads. “I'll be 34 this month, hyung. 34. We've had two albums since we came back from the service. Eight awards for this one alone. We have our own television program. We have our own company. We're loved, miraculously, in places we should not have even been heard of. How do I still feel … empty?”

It seemed every time two or more of them got together, it ended up here. Why aren't we married? Where is my family? What if it's all too late? Hyesung nodded, agreeing with everything unsaid. The 15 years had not been easy, but having his brothers by his side had made even the worst hardships manageable. But now... now as they'd gotten older, the one thing they couldn't provide each other stood out starkly as each year went on. Thirty-four, thirty-five wasn't old, but none of them wanted to marry simply to make a family, and the longer they waited, the less time there was for courtship, for getting to know a woman and knowing they were making a good choice. Unless they found girls much younger, and most of them had always longed for a noona to fall for, someone who could pair maturity and aegyo, serious yet silly. Someone who could someday mother their children, but play like children with them as well. Their hoobaes were sweet, beautiful, charming girls, and didn't understand the first thing about their world. Wonderful for parties, but lacking the strength needed to manage life with a man who would always belong to something as vast as Shinhwa. Women who could handle a man who came with five brothers fastened close to him, plus their attendant families. They needed women who could manage the impossible, and they were, unsurprisingly, impossible to find.

Hyesung stood and reached across Junjin to set the empty shotglass rim-down on the table, then settled himself on the arm of the big chair facing in towards his brother, arm slung over the back, and leaned down to kiss him on the top of his head and his cheek. He didn't have to speak, they'd all had this conversation so many times, they all knew it by heart. It wasn't just finding a woman who could handle each of them individually or even the sudden influx of oppas into her life. So far, not one woman could accept the love the six of them shared, and more importantly, the ways they shared it. Even the best of them had seemed to think it novel at first, adorable at best, but without fail, every one had walked away when they realized they could never be the Only One. At worst … well, at least everyone had a price, and nothing had hit the media that they couldn't handle, yet.

Junjin wiped at his eyes carefully, pressing his fingers into the skin beneath them to try to fight off the fresh round of tears that threatened to well up at his hyung's sympathy. It seemed fitting somehow, after so much of a life spent wishing for his mother that he'd found someone so well suited amongst his brotherhood. Here at least he knew, he'd never be abandoned. Here he'd always have a home, family, safety.

Hyesung rested the side of his head on top of Jinnie's. “Eric was talking again about adopting. Skipping getting married altogether and just adopting a bunch of kids. I don't know that he quite understands, they're not as easy as Gomdori to care for. I gave him the stuffed tokki I caught on stage though. That distracted him well enough for now.”

This time Jin actually chuckled, picturing leader-nim with a litter of toddlers, trying to keep up with them and finally giving up and becoming one of them. No doubt Syung would be there to mother the lot of them, letting Eric play Daddy while he kept the place from falling around their ears. He rested his hand on Hyesung's leg and smiled softly for a moment before looking up at him. “And then you'd have even more of us to take care of, Momma Bird. You'll never have a moment's peace that way.”

“Aiiish... “ Hyesung got up and huffed off a few steps away to lean dramatically back against the desk on the wall. “I don't have a moment's peace already! I wouldn't know the difference, five of you or five hundred! Eric, always so needy! Minwoo, the little devil! At least he's settling down these days. Dongwan, disappearing for days, weeks! I told him, this time, he has a mobile for a reason! He's going to New Zealand, you know. I can just see him off on a mountain all alone with that camera of his, and no one will know where he is, or when he left, or …“ he sighed, dropping his head like all the weight of the world rested on him, and he was the only one suitable to bear it.

“And me? If Eric is the needy one, why is it my door you were at tonight?” Junjin stood and straightened out his clothes and went to sit on the desk as well. “What am I, omma?” He stuck out his bottom lip and gave Hyesung the cutest pout he could manage. Fluttering his eyelashes, he leaned his head down on his brother's shoulder and poked him in the neck with his nose, earning a swat.

“Hajima~~! That tickles!!” Hyesung pushed away, but smiling. Junjin grabbed his wrist as he tried to escape, turning him around and pulling him to stand in front of him, then pinned him by wrapping his legs around him. “Yah!”

Jin slid his free arm around Sungie's waist, grinning his mischievous smile, still insistent. “What am I?” He pulled the trapped wrist behind himself, causing Hyesung to lose his balance finally and fall against him. “What am I...” this time against his throat, just below his ear.

Syung pushed himself up enough to look his baby bird in the eyes, “You're awful. Tell me you didn't plan this. Tell me I didn't fall for it again...” He closed his eyes and dropped his head, and felt Jinnie's lips just above his eyebrows, kissing the gradually forming lines he worked so hard to keep concealed by his fringe.

“I swear, hyung. It's never on purpose. It just always ends up this way, doesn't it?” He tilted Hyesung's face back up with his knuckle. “Every time.”