Sandeul felt bored. Everyone was tired and trying to have some rest, but there he was asking for the leader’s attention.

       “Hyung, come on~  Play with me~  “

       Jinyoung sighed for the nth time that night, and shook his head, “Junghwan, I’m dead tired… I thought you had already processed that in your brain the first 10 times I stated it”. Sandeul just pouted.. He didn’t feel tired like the others, he just needed someone to play with and lose that energy.

       “You sure ate a battery for dinner…” Cnu said strengthless from the other side of the room. Sandeul pouted more.

       “Hyung~Please, play wit—“

       “Hyung, why is Sunwoo avoiding me??” Gongchan had barshed in the room interrupting the duck that had given up pouting and decided to sit by Jinyoung’s side instead of whining. Jinyoung innerly smiled at Sandeul’s cuteness.

       “Maybe he’s just tired…” The oldest member said, earning  a sarcastic chuckle from Sandeul.

      “You kissed him for that show, what were you expecting?” Gongchan glared at the angry duck, and threw a pillow at him, hitting him square in the face.

      “For your information, it was just a peck in the lips. And it was fanservice!!” the boy defended himself as he sat down by the slightly smiling and sleepy Jinyoung, who welcomed him with his arms open. Sandeul’s heart dropped at the tight hug they were sharing.

      “I’m sure he’s not mad. He’s probably just confused” Jinyoung tried to soften the situation, but Sandeul scoffed loudly.

      “Fanservice my . You wanted to get into his pants in front of the cameras”

      Gongchan’s glare could pierce a wall by now. “It. Was. Just. Fanservice.”. Annoyed with Sandeul’s reply, which was just a ‘I-don’t-care’ shrug, he got up and went back to his room. The main vocalist grinned and rested his head playfully over Jinyoung’s lap. His Hyung wanted to scold him for being rude, but there was something about Sandeul that made him look so cute and lovely at the moment. He almost giggled. Almost.

     “Hyung, will you play with me now?~ “

      He laughed and shook his head again, “Ani. I’m tired. And you should sleep too.”

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     Another day of practice ended with the guys sprawled on their beds, lifelessly. All except Sandeul. But he wasn’t being loud like usually. He was quietly resting his head over Jinyoung’s shoulder as he watched the boy write whatever lyrics came to his mind. Most of them were just so cheesy they made Sandeul want to puke.

    “I thought you were tired, Hyung”

     “I need to work on this too”

     Sandeul sighed and kept watching his hand move the pen on the paper, writing down weird sentences.  He was getting tired of such boring activity. So bored he even yawned. But Jinyoung heard it as a sleepy signal and turned his head to the other boy beside him on the couch.

     “Go to sleep, Junghwan. You’re tired” And as Sandeul was about to protest, the maknae stormed out of Baro’s room with a somehow angrier look than before.

     “He doesn’t even want to play that stupid video game he loves with me!!”

     “Why do you want to play that game, anyways? Don’t you hate those types of games?” Sandeul asked with a genuinely confused tone. But Gongchan glared at him unamused.

     “I hate it. But I hate having my Hyung avoid me even more!!”

    “Why do you even bother?” Jinyoung plainly said, not taking his eyes away from the lyrics. Gongchan growled and went to his own room. Sandeul took a peek at the leader’s face, and saw him slightly turn to watch Gongchan leave, with an expression that resembled… guilt? Sadness perhaps..? Or was it jealousy? Sandeul wasn’t sure. But for some reason, he feared it was the last option. And it hurted. 

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     He opened the door to Baro’s room, not expecting the latter to be on the other side of the door, about to open it as well.

     “Hyung, let’s –“

     “Chansik, explain yourself!”

     The maknae froze. His gaze was locked on his Hyung’s eyes, which made him feel weak and embarrassed.

     “I-I..” He tried to find the words, but it was as if the speech he had prepared had just simply vanished into oblivion. Baro grabbed his hand and pulled him inside.

     “Chansik, why did you kiss me??” He sounded strict, but one could hear the hint of faint hopes in his voice. The younger one gulped and looked away.

     “It was just fanservice”

     “Do you expect me to believe that??” Gongchan turned to him rather surprised, and Baro tried not to ruin his cover. “Gong Chansik, you kissed me because you like me”. Ok, he didn’t believe his own words, but that was the best plan he had come up with to find out if Gongchan liked him back. His heart was beating so fast at the moment, anticipating the many reactions and replies. Well, it was sure to say that Baro’s ideas were just as good as Sandeul’s.

     “What??” Now Gongchan was annoyed. Baro was sure being stupid. "It was just fanservice. You know, that thing we have to do for our fans. It had no feelings involved". And as the words left his throat, he watched as Baro’s heart visibly broke in front of him. His Hyung was speechless, and before he would misunderstand his intentions, he came closer and kissed him like he did in front of the cameras. Just that there was no camera, nor audience. There were just the two of them.

     Baro was too shocked to even kiss back, but when he was about to react and push the maknae away, Gongchan broke the kiss and looked at him with a confident expression. Inside, he was afraid Baro would never talk to him again. But the way he had reacted just now, raised his hopes, and he couldn’t give up without fighting.

    “W-Was this fanservice too?”

     “Sunwoo, stop being dumb…”, He sighed and almost giggled at the view of the manliest of the group flustered. “Yes, it was fanservice before. No, the kiss had no feelings in it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Just that that one single kiss meant nothing and was really just part of our job. This one, though, meant a lot to me…” He was now blushing and expecting everything from Baro, from a slap to another kiss. And fortunately he got the last one. Plus a sweet confession.

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      Worse than having a lovesick Baro ranting nonstop about how perfect his crush was, only a lovesick Baro saying cheesy stuff nonstop to his boyfriend, loud enough for the rest of the dorm to listen. Sandeul just didn’t know if he was happy to see the two together. It was so annoying to see them being cheesy in a moment, and touchy all over in the moment after. Or maybe he was just annoyed because Jinyoung seemed jealous. And it broke his tiny heart.

      Gongchan would tease them playfully whenever all of them were together. He would say stuff like ‘It’s your turn to confess, Deul Hyung~ ‘ or ‘Jinyoung, why don’t you accept Hyung’s heart?’. To the first he would playfully reply ‘I love you so much, Channie~’, knowing that a jealous and overly attached Baro would pop up and glare, amusing the duck. To the second one, Jinyoung would just smile and give some excuses like ‘Someday I will’ or ‘Let’s not rush things’. Sandeul really wondered if he meant it. But maybe Jinyoung was just trying to hide his jealousy from the couple.

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      Sandeul was afraid Jinyoung was starting to get conscious of his feelings for him. Gongchan had teased so much it no longer sounded like a joke. Eventually Baro joined it, and there might’ve, or might’ve not, been some help from Dongwoo Hyung too. Sandeul noticed how Jinyoung was starting to question himself if they were trying to get them together. He probably knew, or was about to find out, of his feelings. And it made Sandeul anxious. As days passed, he seemed more and more jealous of the couple’s interactions, and Sandeul was now 100% sure he had no chance with his Hyung, so he decided to keep their relationship as it was. As just friends.

     He didn’t bother trying to forget Jinyoung. Them seeing eachother everyday was enough reason for his heart not to comply with him. The skinship between them, however, had decreased. It was still there, but not as it used to. Jinyoung seemed to think twice and stare at Sandeul more than usual. The latter was pretty sure Jinyoung was going to come up to him one day and tell him to stay away from him. He knew Jinyoung knew about his feelings. It was evident.

     What he hadn’t expected was for that day to happen so soon. Jinyoung had this slightly amused expression as he took Sandeul to his room. Sandeul was freaking out inside, and wanted to throw himself from the window. But he tried to stay calm. Until Jinyoung turned to him, that is. He had that extremely attractive face of his right in front of Sandeul, and the younger one thought he couldn’t breathe. Jinyoung was really hot, and Sandeul knew he would melt, then break down, if he didn’t say anything in the next few seconds.

    “Junghwan, I thought about this for a long time, and I was wonderi—“

     “No”

     Jinyoung blinked, confused, at the other’s cold reply.

     “But, you don’t even know wha—“

     “I know what you’re going to say. But no. I have no feelings for you. “

     This time, Jinyoung was the one who couldn’t breathe. He had never expected Sandeul to say such things… He thought the times they shared had meant something for the younger one. Had he been wrong all this time?

     “I-I don’t get it…”

     Sandeul groaned. Partly because he was losing his patience on Jinyoung. But mostly, he groaned because it was hurting him to lie for the sake of their friendship. He took a deep breath discretely, and kept lying.  "I'll say it again, then. I. Don't. Have. Feelings. For. You. Aish, and you say I'm slow".

     Jinyoung had his mouth hanged open, and his body shaking slightly. Sandeul didn’t notice the second thing, whatsoever, so he thought it wasn’t a big deal. But it was. He had accidentally just broken the heart of the man he loved. Two minutes had passed, and Jinyoung still hand’t recovered from the shock. Sandeul’s worries got bigger and he approached his Hyung.

     “Are you ok?” he touched his arm gently, resulting on Jinyoung forcing a smile as he turned his back and went to meet Cnu in the kitchen to cook dinner. Sandeul swore his heart was ripped off when he heard the breathless and weak ‘Yes’ escaping Jinyoung’s mouth. 

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      Cnu couldn’t help but notice the tears forming on Jinyoung’s eyes every now and then. But didn’t dare to ask him what had happened since Jinyoung would simply wipe his tears and pretend he was ok. Damn that leader and his pride.

      Sandeul sat on his bed, thinking. He thought he had done the best thing by clarifying he had no feelings for Jinyoung, but maybe… Just maybe, he might’ve screwed their friendship as well. Jinyoung wouldn’t even look at him now, and the guilt inside him was breaking his heart in tinier pieces. He missed those warm hugs and tender touches. He missed that gorgeous playfull smile he had whenever they were together. He missed the way he took care of Sandeul like he didn’t take care of anyone else. The way he only spoiled him.

      Sandeul abruptly got up and stared at the wall with wide eyes, feeling the dumbest person alive. Could it be that Jinyoung actually liked him back? He couldn’t afford to get his hopes high, but his heart couldn’t find another explanation, so he ran directly towards Jinyoung, who was washing the dishes alone. He got startled when Sandeul grabbed his wrist, turning him around, and making him almost drop a plate.

       “J-Junghwan?”
        “Hyung, I’m so sorry!” he bowed several times, and Jinyoung’s tears were already falling down his face. They weren’t totally sadness. To be honest, Jinyoung was really happy that Sandeul was talking to him and apologizing for whatever it was he did.

      “Junghwan, stop” he chuckled and the younger one looked at him with a sad expression. He wanted to kiss away those tears so badly. He brought his hands to the sides of Jinyoung’s face, but instead of wiping the tears, his Hyung took his hand on his, and smiled sadly.

      “I’m sorry, Jinyoung… I thought you were going to tell me to stay away from you and I just couldn’t bear it… I like you so much... ” Sandeul was now crying, facing the ground as his cheeks got redder and stained. Jinyoung sighed happily and in relief that his heart wasn't really rejected, then pulled him into a tight hug.

       “You know… I was just going to ask you out…”