Heart-to-Heart

Little Bird by Byun Baekhyun, Year 3

Humans are funny creatures. They laugh, they cry, they smile, they frown. I am not fond of such beings but there are always exceptions. 

He is the exception.

Him with the gawky posture, the lopsided grin, his captivating personality that shines through. His heart is beautiful, it shows, even when he tries to hide it.

He notices how broken I am even when I did not know it myself. 

He nurses me back to health, but puts me in a cage. He heals my apparent wounds, but he doesn't know he is the cause of it. My cry for attention to make him notice me is mistaken as a chirp of happiness. But every time he sets me free I come back to him, flying 1000 miles to get to him, braving every calamity. The friction puts me off but I do not care much for it. I need to get back to my cage, to his hands. It is my home.

Because I am just a Little Bird, and he is the storm that eats me alive.

"Baekhyun, when I told I was going to submit your essay for the writing competition, I wasn't expecting you to rewrite it."

"Well."

Baekhyun shrugged as his English teacher Mrs. Choi peered at him from above the rim of her thick black glasses. She notices the nonchalant expression on his face, and senses that something was wrong because Baekhyun wasn't a moody boy. He had a cheerful disposition and was jaunty all the time. 

"Is this from personal experience, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Yes."

He deadpanned after a little hesitation. Mrs. Choi returned the essay that had been neatly written. He took it from her hands and folds it, stuffing it into his pocket.

"I think I'll just submit the original one you'd written for the figurative language assignment a few weeks back."

Baekhyun nodded and made a beeline for the door, but before he could leave, Mrs. Choi had called him back.

"Baekhyun?"

He turned around to see a concerned expression on her aged face that reminded him a little of his mother.

"If you're having problems and need to talk about anything that's bothering you, you should see the school's counselor. I could make an appointment for you if you'd like?"

"I'm fine."

Baekhyun snapped as she pursed her lips. He knew he should apologize for being rude, but he couldn't as he hastily left the room, breaking out into a run once he was in the hallway. He bumped into a few students who threw him dirty looks, but all he could do was mumble a weak 'sorry', trying to concentrate on keeping it all together in case he broke down there and then.

"Hey, Baekkie!"

An all too familiar boisterous voice caused him to inhale sharply, freezing momentarily as his grip on the strap of his bagpack tightened. He doesn't stop, though. He continued to sprint, faster than before so that the boy wouldn't be able to catch up with him.

"Ya, Baekhyun!"

This time, he felt himself being hurled back by the arm as he found himself face to face with the certain tall stupid being gawking at him wide-eyed, his mouth curled into a small 'o', his smile quickly fading. Tears were already threatening to spill as Baekhyun does the only thing he could to not let them out. He glared at the boy.

"What's wrong?"

Baekhyun noticed the slight confusion and worry etched into the lines of his deep frown. Chanyeol reached out a hand to his cheek but he swatted it away and rubbed at his eye. It was too late though; a single tear escaped, forsakenly rolling down his cheek. Chanyeol didn't know why but there was a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach when he saw how red Baekhyun's eyes were.

"Leave me alone."

Baekhyun snarled, tugging at his arm to pry it loose from Chanyeol's grip. He his heels and hurried away from the taller boy, and this time, Chanyeol doesn't do anything to stop him. He watched the smaller boy leave, completely bewildered. When he finally snapped back to reality, he sees that the boy had dropped a piece of folded paper. He bends down and gingerly picks it up.

He sighed.

He wondered when things became so complicated.

~*~

"This is just like old times, isn't it?"

Sehun flashed a broad smile at his friend who rolled his eyes as he flung a pillow at him. The younger by months caught it with a hand and laughed, fluffing up his pillow. He laid down, crossing his arms under his head and stared up at Jongin's ceiling that was black with scattered glow-in-the--dark stars, creating the illusion of gazing at real stars in the night sky. Sehun's lips curled up into a small smile as he remembered how Jongin and him had decorated the ceiling as it was now when they were younger. It was Jongin's room, but it felt very much like his own since he had spent countless of nights there.

Just like always, Sehun had dropped by after school that day and since they hadn't been around each other much in the past few weeks, he figured he could study together with his best friend. It was already past midnight when they finally called it a day and Jongin had prepared Sehun's mattress on the floor next to his bed without him asking to. So Sehun decided to stay for the night.

"Sehunnie, I hate you for spending so much time with your boyfriend and forgetting about me."

Jongin broke the silence. He was glad it was dark because he had a slight pout as he'd said it, and he knew Sehun would have for it if he'd seen it.

"I miss you too."

Sehun chuckled. He knew Jongin had meant that he'd missed his best friend but as usual Jongin wasn't one to express his emotions well.

"I'm sorry I've not been around much. It's just that... Luhan needs a friend too."

"I know."

Silence ensued once more and Sehun wondered what his best friend was thinking about, or if he had already falled asleep. But somehow he knew that something was bothering his best friend. After all, he had been pretty upset during their detention class the Saturday before. As if Jongin had heard Sehun's thoughts, he began to voice the concerns on his troubled mind.

"I've been having weird feelings lately. I don't know what to make of them."

"Does this have something to do with Kyungsoo?"

Jongin sat bolt upright in his bed that squeaked from the movement, completely startled at Sehun's question. He was surprised how his best friend had accurately pinpointed the reason for the confusion he'd been facing.

"How do you know?"

"Jongin, how long have we been friends?"

"Eight years?"

Jongin scrunched up his nose, trying to mentally count the number of years since they first met at a playground. Sehun frowned at his best friend's inability to recall things correctly.

"Ten years. But that's beside the point. What I'm trying to say is that I've known you for as long as I can remember and I know you inside out. I can take one glance at you and know that something is wrong. And that day we had detention, you were acting weird with Kyungsoo."

"That doesn't count. I told you that Kyungsoo was mad at me."

Jongin pointed out and Sehun resisted the urge to climb up into his bed to smack his best friend, who was being a pain-in-the-, on the head.

"But I noticed that you were different around Kyungsoo even before that day. You like him, don't you?"

Sehun is greeted by silence. For once, Jongin was at a loss for words when all he ever does is try to argue with him. After a long minute, Sehun gets up from his own mattress and sat himself on the edge of the bed, facing the other boy and tapping his leg to bring him back from his thoughts.

"I do. A lot."

"And what's the problem, then?"

"I've never liked a boy."

Sehun nodded slowly in agreement, and then stopped mid-action when he the realization of what that meant sank in. Sehun had always known he wasn't into girls even though there was always a line of them all waiting to try their luck at trying to get him to date them. But Jongin, on the other hand, had always been as straight as a cooked spaghetti. Never had he shown physical attraction to those of the same . So that was what the problem was.

"It's surreal, isn't it?"

Jongin nodded, still holding his pout.

"Welcome to the club." Sehun chuckled.

"You need to help me, Sehunnie."

"Just go up to him and tell him how you feel. Man up. You don't have to be a sissy just cause you're into guys you know."

"Yeah, well, I already did. And it didn't go so well. He started yelling at me and saying all these mean things and I've never felt so hurt in my entire life. He made me feel even worse than my dad."

"What did he say?"

Sehun gritted his teeth, clenching his fists on Jongin's sheets. Generally, he liked Kyungsoo. The boy was sensible even though it was difficult at times to talk to him. But if he'd done something to upset his best friend, Sehun was going to give him a piece of his mind.

"He said something along the lines of how we are never going to be together and that I should forget about my feelings for him because he doesn't feel the same way He may have mentioned something about my ed up relationship with my dad and how he had only befriended me to use me for his grades."

"Harsh."

Sehun remarked sullenly, feeling a little pricked even though it was Jongin and not him who had experienced those hurtful comments being thrown at him. But then something in him clicked when he realized why Kyungsoo might have been that mean when the boy wouldn't even hurt a fly. There was definitely more meaning to Kyungsoo's angry rant than he had let on.

"Jongin, I think I may have found a solution to your problem."

Jongin perked up, leaning forward to listen to what his friend had to say.

"I don't think Kyungsoo said those words because he's mad at you. I think he may have been intentionally mean to get you off his back. He's confused about he's feelings for you, even more than you are about yours for him."

Jongin's face lit up at Sehun's revelation. This meant that he had a chance to put things right.

"You may be right...."

 For the rest of the night after that, Sehun laid on the bed across Jongin's feet, both boys left to their own thoughts till they fell asleep.

~*~

Jongin sat upright in his bed as soon as the alarm rang, indicating that it was time to wake up for school. Instead of the usual groaning, Jongin was pretty bright that morning as he peeled himself from his own sheets and Sehun's tangled limbs with his as he went to get himself fixed for school. It was as if he'd had an epiphany during his sleep the night before.

Jongin practically skipped to school that day, as opposed to Sehun who dragged his feet behind his friend, his eyelids barely opened, still heavy with sleep.

"Good luck. Tell me how it goes."

Sehun waved a goodbye to his friend as he made his way through the crowd of students to look for his own boyfriend. Jongin's hands trembled with nervousness, his eyes scanning the courtyard for a certain boy. He knew Kyungsoo's schedule so well he could read it off the top of his mind. In about three minutes' time, Kyungsoo was going to be walking across the courtyard to get to his first lesson that happened to be Physics. 

As if on cue, the shorter boy was seen shuffling amongst the scatter of students making their way to their first lesson. Jongin broke out into a run, eyes set on Kyungsoo's small figure, determination etched into his boyish features. He wasn't going to give in so easily this time. Kyungsoo was going to have to talk his feelings out whether he liked it or not.

"Kyungsoo."

Jongin breathed as soon as he reached the older, placing a hand on his shoulder. Kyungsoo stiffened at the touch, hearing the all too familiar voice in his right ear. He couldn't bring himself to say anything so he let the younger do all the talking instead. He was just so worn out from all the past events; with the snow globe incident, and the insults he'd thrown at the younger. In all honesty, he was actually ashamed to have said those vicious remarks.

"You need to hear me out."

Kyungsoo doesn't say anything, doesn't do anything. He stays frozen where he was, the crowd of students thinning as the first bell rang. If Jongin knew him well, he would know that he had approximately a minute to get everything he wanted to say out before Kyungsoo would have to start making his way to class.

"I know... I know you're afraid. You're confused more than anything. So was I, Kyungsoo. But I've had some time to think it over, and everything is so much clearer now. There's nothing more I want than... you."

Jongin bit down on his lip as he held his gaze fixed on the older who stared out nonchalantly at nothing in particular. He was surprised at himself to have said everything he had. He had never been good with words but with Kyungsoo, he found himself being able to let the words flow so naturally and perfectly. 

"You won't change your mind, would you?"

Kyungsoo's sudden question that came out of nowhere surprised Jongin a little as the older turned to face him, looking up a little till their eyes met in a lock. Jongin could see, for the first time, the desperation and helplessness in his wide eyes.

"No. I promise."

"That was all I needed to hear."

Kyungsoo took a sharp intake of breath as the younger briefly caressed the older's hand that lay rigidly at his side. Upon contact, though, his hand relaxed and a smile ghosted across his petrified expression.

"You better get to class."

Jongin glances at his watch to see that his one minute was up. Kyungsoo nodded hastily and pried his hand away from the younger as he left, but not before saying something that made Jongin smile.

"I'll see you during lunch, okay?"

~*~

Chanyeol stared at the empty seat beside him in Physics class, a frown creasing into his forehead. He hadn't been paying attention for the past forty-five minutes of the lesson, and now there was only five minutes left till the bell would ring, indicating the start of the lunch period.

How could he when Baekhyun hadn't answered any of his calls, or texts, and the last time they'd met up had been in the hallway the day before, and even then, Chanyeol had caught him with tears in his eyes. There was definitely something going on with the boy, and usually, Chanyeol doesn't care much for friends who were in a bad mood. But with Baekhyun, Chanyeol had sensed something odd, and he was worried as to what it might be.

And then there's that piece of writing Baekhyun had accidentally left on the ground when they had had their encounter. There was just a shroud of uncertainty around the whole situation and Chanyeol wasn't good with mysteries. He was dense as , and more often that not, he would end up with a headache from overthinking.

The bell rang and all around him, students started to file out of the class but he remained seated where he was, now staring at the short essay Baekhyun had written instead. 

 Him with the gawky posture, the lopsided grin, his captivating personality that shines through. 

Chanyeol pursed his lips. Somehow it sounds all so familiar, like he knows it from somewhere. 

My cry for attention to make him notice me is mistaken as a chirp of happiness.

There was something off-putting about that sentence and Chanyeol found himself rereading it a hundred times, pondering upon it in his head. He sighed as he got up from his seat and left the classroom that was now empty. He was starving, and all the thinking had drained away his energy. He needed his sustenence if he wanted to make it through the other half of the school day.

As he shuffled towards the cafeteria, he wondered if he was just being paranoid. Maybe he was just reading too much into the essay, and Baekhyun's weird actions. Maybe the essay was just about a ing bird, and that's it. No lines in between, no hidden meaning. Just a small, ing bird.

He sat himself at the table where Joonmyun and Jongdae were bickering about something that had happened earlier before he'd arrived and usually he wouldn't care much for it, but today he was annoyed. He rolled his eyes at the pair who caught on to his bad mood and frowned.

"What's up with you?"

"I need help."

Chanyeol shoves the piece of paper under Joonmyun's nose, not bothering to show it to Jongdae since the latter was dumber than he was. 

"You're smart, right? Do you think there's any hidden meaning behind this story?"

Joonmyun studied the essay for a little while as he put on his serious expression, the one where he bunched up his nose as he thought.

"It's just an essay about a bird."

Chanyeol lets out a nervous, somewhat relieved, laughter as Jongdae, who had also read the essay, nodded in agreement. Joonmyun and Jongdae returned to their meal and bickering as Chanyeol looked across from his own table to the popular kid's table that seemed to be missing someone. His absence was evidently felt as he felt the grim emptiness in the pit of his stomach. Chanyeol realizes that school wasn't school without Baekhyun. In fact, nothing was going his way. He felt a strange feeling of sadness, like everything that was happening around him was distant.

Just then, his eyes caught a table full of people he recognized well; students he'd spent a decently long amount of time with in detention such that he'd gotten to know them so well. Excusing himself from the table, he crosses the cafeteria and slides into an empty seat beside Jongin. 

They didn't seem to notice him, he realized. He traces Jongin's gaze back to Kyungsoo who was sitting beside him, and Luhan and Sehun were engaged in an animated conversation, Sehun's face lighting up at everything Luhan was saying. Chanyeol had never seen the boy this happy. Suddenly, Chanyeol felt an uneasy feeling settling within himself, the sadness he was feeling before now making his heart heavy.

"Hey guys."

He called out to get their attention, and they all turned to him, greeting him with broad smiles and a wave. 

"What's going on...?"

Chanyeol voiced his thoughts as he caught Sehun's hand innocently cupping Luhan's openly on the table. Sehun, upon noticing what Chanyeol had meant, gripped tighter onto his boyfriend's hand instead of letting it go like he would have in their earlier stages of their relationship when they had had to hide it from people.

"I know it's late, but Luhan and I are together."

The younger makes it known with a sheepish smile. Chanyeol gaped at the pair.

"You mean, together together?"

Sehun nodded as Chanyeol pursed his lips, slowly letting it sink in.

"And how about the both of you? You're dating as well?"

Chanyeol asked, looking at Kyungsoo and Jongin quesitoningly. This time, Kyungsoo's face blushed a shade of crimson as Jongin grinned heartily. Even though the pair didn't answer, it was apparent that something was going on between the both of them. They were definitely more than just friends.

Chanyeol groans at this revelation, facepalming himself. As happy as he was for them, never had he felt so alone in his life. There they were, all merry and in love, and then there was him, ruining the atmosphere with his dispirited mood. 

"He's mine."

Jongin whispered to Chanyeol as Kyungsoo caught what the younger had said. A wide smile formed on his face, reaching his eyes. 

"Hey, Kyungsoo, you speak fluent English, don't you? Can you help me read this?"

Kyungsoo took the paper from Chanyeol and scrutinized the essay. Chanyeol watched in anxiousness as his expression contorted into one of surprise, his big eyes blinking rapidly.

"What is it?"

Jongin asked when he noticed the look on Kyungsoo's face. 

"It's about him being in love with someone who doesn't care about his feelings. He's trying to decipher the person's actions but he can't and it frustrates him. Chanyeol, this is some deep . Wow, i didn't know you were smart."

"Uh, I'm not, it isn't mine." Chanyeol replied distractedly, mulling over what kyungsoo had mentioned.

"Oh, it figures." Jongin laughed as Kyungsoo handed the paper back to Chanyeol. 

Everything around him seemed to be in a standstill as the sounds of laughter and the clinking of plates and shuffling of feet sounded distant. He felt like he was in a time warp; suddenly he couldn't breathe, couldn't think right. All he knew was that he had made a mistake. 

ing hell, he had made a big mistake and he wondered if he could fix it. 

~*~

"What's wrong with him?"

Kyungsoo mumbled under his breath to Jongin who was seated beside him. Just moments ago, he had helped Chanyeol interpret an essay that had a startlingly deep meaning to it. And then the boy had taken off in a hurry, bolting through the glass doors, ignoring his friend's questions.

"I think I may know why."

Jongin stared at the door where Chanyeol had left; if it was true what Kyungsoo had said about the essay, then putting two and two together, Jongin was sure that Chanyeol had finally figured out Baekhyun's feelings. He hadn't known what Chanyeol would do, but he was hoping for the best. Just last Saturday, he had walked in on them, and lectured Baekhyun on his undefined relationship with the school's prankster. Jongin had seen the sadness in his eyes as he told him about Chanyeol's vague feelings for him. And he was hoping that Chanyeol wouldn't reject the other boy's feelings. After all, Jongin himself had faced such a situation with Kyungsoo and it had been, by far, one of the worst feelings ever.

"We'll see you guys later."

Kyungsoo addressed Sehun and Luhan who fleetingly nodded an acknowledgement before reaching for Jongin's hand and pulling him along behind him. The noise was replaced by silence as the exited the cafeteria, walking around campus aimlessly. As long as they were together and there was nobody bothering them, Jongin figured that he was content.

As they walked side by side in silence, Jongin felt a hand holding his, then the unfamiliar feeling of fingers intertwining itself with his own. A smile danced on his face, liking how warm Kyungsoo's hands were.

"I'm sorry I said all those mean things to you on Saturday."

Kyungsoo said quietly as they approached the rooftop garden in the school. Fortunately for them, there was nobody else there so they could carry out their conversation in private.

"Why, though? Why did you push me away?"

Kyungsoo leaned against the ledge, looking out at the campus. Jongin joined him, keeping his hands held tightly in his own.

"You're right. I was afraid. I was a coward."

"If it's any consolation, I was afraid, too. I've never fallen for a guy you know."

Kyungsoo gave a small smile to the younger, a little honoured to have been the first guy Jongin has ever liked.

"If I could, I'd take it all back."

"It was just my defense mechanism acting up. I already knew I was falling for you and your stupid attempts to be the kindest to me. It didn't help that you were showing so much concern for me, even going out of your way to make sure I was fine. Especially all those times I freaked out. You were always there."

"And I didn't want to acknowledge my feelings for you because I was afraid I might fall too hard."

Jongin, who had been quiet all this time, finally spoke up.

"Like your favourite poem. You were scared to get too attached only to be let down."

Kyungsoo nodded as his eyes glanced over at the red angry scratches littered all over Jongin's exposed arm. The younger flinched a little when he suddenly felt Kyungsoo taking his arm into his hands as he lightly traces every one of them.

"I'm sorry about this as well."

Jongin gazes at the older who held a slight frown on his face as he examined the damage he'd done. The younger carefully retrieves his arm, placing Kyungsoo's hands away and tilts his chin up to look into his eyes. 

He leaned in and places a soft kiss on the older's plump lips. Kyungsoo inhales the scent of Jongin deeply, his lips curling a little as he closed his eyes. For the first time, he felt something he has never felt in his whole 19 years on this earth. He makes a mental note to make a slight adjustment to his list he had titled 'Feelings I have experienced'.

He writes the letters L-O-V-E in his mind with his cursive handwriting.

~*~

A/N: I had so much trouble with my grammar and past/present tense in this chapter idk why but i hope it isn't too off putting.

Anyway, I've started a new story because I've been so down lately and it's actually a mini spin-off from Baekhyun's essay in this story titled Little Bird. But it's in no way related to Detention. Just a Baekyeol/Chanbaek centric story that's dark and full of angst and rated M and idk what is my life

If you want to read it, it's here.

Thank you everyone x