“Hey man, what are you still doing here?” the friendly voice called from the doorway of Yongguk’s cubicle. “It’s lunch hour! Some of us are going to that pub down the street. You want to come?”

Yongguk glanced at the clock on his computer screen, realizing that he’d already technically been on lunch for three minutes. He rubbed his eyes for a second, trying to distance himself from the report he’d been working on so diligently. “Nah, not today,” he answered, glancing at the calendar on the wall.

His co-worker followed his gaze, noting that the day was circled in red pen, a little heart drawn in the middle. The guy smirked. “Ah, anniversary?” he guessed with a wink. “Have fun then! If you’re late back to work after meeting your girlfriend, I’ll make up some excuse for you!” And, with a wave, he disappeared.

Yongguk’s lips twitched up in a smile at the thoughtful gesture, but he wasn’t going to meet a girlfriend. In fact, he wasn’t going to be meeting anyone. There hadn’t been anyone to meet in quite a long time, in his opinion.

The anniversary was a double-edged sword, he thought to himself as he collected his bag and headed out of the office, into the bright noontime sunshine. It was both good and bad at the same time, and, though he felt more sad about it than happy, he knew he had no right to think that way.

He found an empty bench at the park and settled down with his usual lunchtime sandwich and book, long legs stretched out in front of him. Five years was an awfully long time, he thought to himself, to be away from the person you loved.

He opened his book, picking up the old photograph he used as a bookmark. It was an old one, of him and Junhong back before Junhong had been placed in the foster system and moved away. It was actually the last photograph the two of them had ever taken together. It was a bittersweet photograph because, even though Junhong was smiling and making a cheesy V with his fingers while Yongguk kissed him on the cheek, there were bruises peeking out from the collar of his shirt. Yongguk sighed and replaced the photograph in his book.

He wondered, like he had every single day since Junhong had disappeared from his life five years ago, just what the kid was up to these days. Of course, Junhong wouldn’t be a kid anymore. A lot could change in five years. A lot had to change in five years. He wondered if Junhong had gotten taller, or if he still dyed his hair blonde. He wondered if Junhong still wore a heavy coat and mask to hide himself even though there were no longer fresh bruises and scars to cover up.

He opened the book again and tucked the picture gently into the pocket of his dress shirt, always careful not to damage it. He wished he’d taken more pictures when the two of them had been together, but he’d been so worried about his social status that he hadn’t thought to document their time. He also hadn’t known it would be so short. So he treasured the few photographs he had of Junhong.

He took a big bite out of his sandwich and picked up in his book where he’d left off the day before, but it was difficult to concentrate. His thoughts kept drifting back to Junhong and what the kid might be doing these days. It had been five years, yes, but at the same time five years felt like nothing more than a nanosecond.

Junhong had changed his life. It felt sort of dramatic to say it like that, but it was the truth. No one ever denied that fact. Not his mother or his friends or even Himchan or Yongnam. Yongguk had become a completely different person after he’d met Junhong.

He’d actually graduated from high school with decent grades, most of which he ended up earning for himself rather than copying from Himchan. He’d managed to get into a good college, where he kept his grades up enough that he graduated with honors. After university, he’d gotten a job at his current company, where he made good money and was able to live on his own. He was no longer the arrogant, cocky bastard that he had been in high school. He also wasn’t secretive about his ual orientation anymore, though, if anyone were to ask, he was neither gay nor straight. His ual orientation was Junhong and that was it.

He almost jumped when his cell phone went off, the ringtone loud in the quiet peacefulness of the park. He checked the caller ID – it was his sister, Yongjoo – and answered it. “Hey, noona.”

“Hiya, little bro,” Yongjoo answered cheerfully. “Are you busy tonight? I’ve got a sitter for the baby and so Hyunwoo and I were thinking of going out to dinner. You should join us.”

Yongguk was skeptical. Yongjoo – and by proxy her husband of three years, Hyunwoo – was constantly trying to hook him up with one of her friends, both guys and girls. Though she understood that Yongguk had never gotten over Junhong, she was of the opinion that he should start dating again in an effort to get past it. “Would it just be me, you, and Hyunwoo?”

Yongjoo hesitated, as Yongguk had known she would. He knew his sister well, after all. “Well,” she drawled finally. “Not exactly. There’s this girl that I work with who’s going to be joining us as well. She’s really pretty and smart. She’s funny. I think you’ll like her a lot.”

Yongguk resisted the urge to sigh. “Thanks, but no thanks, noona. I’m not looking for a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend,” he added, because he knew her well enough to know that she would suggest him meeting one of her guy friends instead.

“It’s been five years, Gukkie,” Yongjoo said seriously, and he could perfectly imagine the look on her face – a cross between worried and exasperated. “You’ve got to let Junhong go.”

Yongguk’s jaw clenched at that. It was all well and good for his sister to say that, but he knew that he would never be able to do so. Even if it meant he would be alone for the rest of his life, he would forever carry a piece of Junhong in his heart.

Yongjoo sighed again as if she knew exactly what he was thinking. “Look, Gukkie,” she said plainly. “You’ve been doing well with your life. Fantastic, even. But I think you’d really be happier if you made an effort to get to know someone. Just come to dinner tonight. It’s not going to kill you to meet this girl. And for all you know, you guys might hit it off.”

“No thanks, noona,” Yongguk said simply. “I’ve got to get back to work now.” And he hung up on her.

He hated being curt to his sister – who was perhaps the person he trusted and respected most in the world – but they’d had this conversation enough times by now for it to be cliché. If it wasn’t Junhong, Yongguk wanted no part of it. He’d made peace with that fact a while ago.

Yongguk turned back to his book, trying to lose himself in the words. It was a mystery novel, his favorite, but he couldn’t get into the story today. Thoughts of Junhong and Yongjoo and the mystery girl he had the opportunity to meet up with that night kept running through his head.

He was busy debating with himself internally whether he should call Yongjoo back and apologize for hanging up on her when a shadow fell across his page.

Then a voice that Yongguk had been hearing in his head for five years now spoke. “Hey, Gukkie. Long time no see.” 

I love this story so much and I'm very sad that it's ending. Thank you so much for everyone who stuck with me and with this story, and I hope you enjoyed it. 

I don't typically like angst, but this is a subject that I feel is important. The majority of child abuse victims are under the age of four, so people don't often think about older kids getting abused. Even though the majority is four years old or younger, there are still older kids suffering abuse. And the effects of child abuse aren't just physical but also mental and psychological. 

Anyway, thanks again for reading. I love you all!