July 2010

I eyed at the girls around Chanyeol enviously and wished that I was at least one of them. I wanted to be friends with Chanyeol, and I want to be as close to him like Jovonne and Jacklyn. Those three have been inseparable even before our secondary school life started.

I want to approach Chanyeol so badly,but I'm too shy. I can't even talk to my normal classmates properly, so how am I going to talk to Chanyeol, the guy that I've had a crush on ever since I was in Primary school? How many years has it been? It started when I was 10, and now I'm 13. Three years of loving him, but still unable to talk to him.

I felt a slap on my back and I arched it, wincing in pain.

"Ya, Ann," my best friend yelled at me, but the class was too noisy for the others to hear so I was relieved." Just how long are you going to just stare at Chanyeol from a distance for? Why don't you just confess already?"

That's right, my name is Ann. Not short for 'Annie' nor 'Anastasia'.Just Ann. Add my surname and it makes everything ten times worse.

"I can't, I'm too shy."

My best friend rolled her eyes at me and knocked my head before heading back to her seat as our form teacher stepped into class.

"We're doing some seat re-shuffling today," the teacher announced and everyone groaned. The teacher ignored the students and proceeded to read out the names of the new pairings.

"...and the last pair will be Ann Lin and Chanyeol,at the back of the class."

The class erupted in laughter and I felt myself turning red. The way my name and surname were pronounced together sounded like a brand of calcium-building milk powder for adults sold locally.

Chanyeol didn't laugh though. He took his seat and smiled at me as I settled down awkwardly.

So many Chanyeol feels!

"Hello! Let's study well together!" Chanyeol chirped like a little boy and flashed me his winning smile.

Ba-thump.

 

 

February,2011

I continued to sit with Chanyeol, even after moving up a grade. We became closer, and I no longer feel that nervous around him anymore. He learnt a lot about me, and I learnt a lot about him as well. And everyday,  I find myself falling for his charms even more.

---

February the 14th came. I prepared a chocolate bar specially for Chanyeol, and prepared myself to confess to him. After rehearsing in front of the mirror for a few times, I gained confidence and decided to hurry off to school to be the first to make a confession.

I stood dumbfounded outside my class, gaping at the queue that had formed even before I came. I squeezed my way into the class, hoping to get to Chanyeol quickly, recite my lines and get it done and over with. I didn't even realise that the queue formed was actually a 'confession queue' for Chanyeol.

"Chanyeol-ah, I like you. I hope that you-"

"Sorry," I saw Chanyeol looking apologetically at the girl."but I can't reciprocate the feeling.Thank you for being such a brave soul."

"Chanyeollie,this is for you,I hope that you-"

"Sorry."

"Yeol, I-"

"Sorry."

Wow... Chanyeol rejected all the girls. The queue has ended and Chanyeol's table was filled with candies and chocolate. I looked around to make sure that no one was looking before bracing myself to confess to him.

"Ch-"

"Do you mind eating the chocolate the girls gave me?" Chanyeol cut my sentence with a question.

"Eh? But why..?"

"Oh," Chanyeol gave a chuckle. "I'm not a fan of chocolate. My phlegm will get stuck at the back of my throat and it'll be uncomfortable for me. Since it's rude to throw them away, I hope that you can eat them on my behalf."

I looked at Chanyeol, my eyes welling with tears. Chanyeol saw that and became flustered.

"Oh my god, why are you crying?"

"I... I... I feel really sad for you, for being unable to eat chocolate in peace..." That was a complete lie.

Chanyeol gave a hearty laugh before patting my back. "I thought something major happened, but it turned out to be just this! Haha!" Chanyeol ruffled my hair before walking out of class."see you later!"

I wiped my tears with a piece of tissue and reached into my right pocket. The chocolate bar was still in my pocket. I fished it out and studied the nutritional information before throwing it into the dustbin at the front of the class from the back of the class.

Shoot. Score.

I won in my own game.

But I want to win his heart more.

I want to win in the game called 'Love'.

 

 

31 December, 2011/January, 2012

It's the New Year's Eve, and here I am, lazing at home eating candied apples all by myself. I realised that I've been friends with Chanyeol for more than a year now, and I still haven't told him about anything regarding my feelings.

I guess I'm pretty good at keeping it in for so long.

I glanced at my clock.10:52 p.m. 2 hours and 8 minutes to the New Year. I brought my magazine to my face and fall back onto the bed while sighing loudly.

"Man, this is such a boring night..." I complained to my mom as I left my room. My mom didn't reply me, and was completely engrossed in the TV. I stared at her back before looking at the wall clock.

10.58 p.m. What the hell.

I decided to do up a New Year Resolution.

Make at least 10 new friends this year. Get better grades this year. Pass History at least once,for goodness sake. Train Mark not to pee all over the toilet again. Toilet-train Bobo.

 I don't see any difference between my dog Bobo and my little brother, Mark.They do their business all over. The only difference is that at least Mark doesn't dirty the house, but only the toilet.But still.    

      6.   Get a distinction for my piano exams next year

      7.   Finish folding 1000 cranes by the end of the year

My phone vibrated and I jumped, holding my hands to my chest. Seeing that the vibration noise only came from my phone, I heaved a sigh of relief and picked it up. I briefly scanned my eyes across the caller ID and put it down.

"It's only 'My one and only Prince Charming Park Chan Yeol the awesome monkey man'," I mumbled iout the called ID out loud and threw my phone onto my bed before heading towards my bookcase again.

Wait... hold on... WHAT?!

I hurriedly rushed back to my bed to pick up my phone. "It's 'My one and only Prince Charming Park Chan Yeol the awesome monkey man!'" I screamed before picking up my phone. "HELLO?"

"Ann!" Chanyeol greeted me cheerfully. "Are you free now? Wanna come down to Tiong Bahru Park and countdown with me,Jacklyn and Jovonne?"

"I'd love too!" I answered immediately, without a hint of hesitation.

"Great! See you!" And he hung up.

---

I reached home much later than expected and was completely worn out. I never knew that Jovonne and Jacklyn would be so hyperactive at night, since I heard that they are early sleepers. I hurriedly changed out of my outfit and slipped into my pyjamas. Just as I was about to turn off my table lamp, I realised that I have not completed my resolution. Picking up my pen, I started writing my last resolution before turning off the table lamp and heading to bed for a good night's r