"kim naeun, would you listen to us for once in your wasted life?" my mother screamed from the opposite end of the dining table, ignoring the presence of my older brother junmyeon, younger sister nayoung and our father. it's not like they had to hear her latest rant about how her precious looking sixteen year old daughter was a waste of space and how she didn't deserve to live. i didn't deserve to live. some loving mother i had. in all fairness, i probably shouldn't have started the fire at the school. it wasn't one of my best ideas, i'll admit. kai had dared me to do it, convinced that i would chicken out at last minute. boy, was he wrong.

"naeun please start thinking of the others around you." my father begged from the seat next to my mother, his face was full of concern and...hurt? but i hadn't hurt them. i would never hurt my own family. never.

i glanced around the dining table at my two siblings, they wore expressions similar to my father...only a thousand times worse and junmyeon looked somewhat disappointed in me. in my lifestyle.

"i don't get why you're all being pathetic over a little fire. it's not like i killed someone." i snapped before escaping another round of rants and begging. my bedroom door slammed shut behind me, leaving me alone in a pool of tears.

"hello? anybody in there? earth to naeun." a soft voice said from in front of me, the girl suddenly started waving her hands in front of my face frantically. the overly dramatic girl would be my best friend, jung eunji. she was a little louder and definitely a lot happier than me but that's what made us such good friends..and possibly why we were the two outsiders in the school. neither of us had belonged to any of the 'popular' groups or had even bothered trying to communicate with the regular 'queenka' here. we didn't even have many friends between us, just a couple of other awkward girls that didn't want to get involved with the other groups at breaks in the school day.

"what is it now eunji?" i asked, a slight edge to my voice. sometimes the girl could be a handful.

"did you just miss all of that?" she asked, hanging open in surprise.

"miss all of what?"

"luhan. talking to me. xi effing luhan!" she squealed, clapping her hands together in excitement. her smile soon vanished though when she realised that unlike her, i was not celebrating or at least smiling. in fact, i wasn't even happy for her in the slightest. not because i was jealous, because i certainly wasn't, but because he was bad news. everyone knew that he was part of the 'junior' gang called exo, and they were nothing but trouble. especially their leader. "naeun? is something wrong?"

who was i to tell my best friend that she couldn't date this guy? it wasn't my life to control. i had given up the bad part of my life three years ago, surely that meant that even when my best friend was making a bad decision, i couldn't just tell her what to do.

"no, nothing's wrong. it's just a surprise, that's all" lying through my teeth, i crumbled on the inside.

what had i just allowed?