May 16 2013, Thursday 7:45PM Malakas ang ulan ng lumabas ako ng office, Eight hours of works isn’t a joke, lalo pa’t may hinahabol ka deadline and plus may boss ka sobrang sungit, pakiramdam ko magkakasakit ako, at kung mamalasin ka naman talaga malakas pa ang ulan, mahirap sumakay at siksikan, sinubukan ko makipag agawan ng taxi at sa awa ng dyos after 30 minutes of standing under the pouring rain I manage to grab a cab. Habang nasa byahe napatingin ako sa mga dinadaanan namen Bars, Palengke, istablisyemento, motel at mall, pero isa lang ang pumukaw nag aking attention, Isang subdivision. Subdivision na pamilyar saken at nag iwan ng isang malaking alaala.   Bago ko pa man napansin, I caught myself already walking to that subdivision, the guard notice me and let  me inside, Memories of yesterday comes back to me, my feet drag me to the place, lugar kung saan naging saksi ng pinaka hindi ko malilimutan pag yayari sa buhay ko, DOON     June 28, 2009 Saturday, Summer.   Summer vacation namen noon sa school, tuwing summer napagkakasunduan namen ng Bestfriend Kong si Lian na magsusumer vacation saknila, total lagi naman wala parents ko, lagi silang busy sa business. Every month lagi silang umaalis ng bansa para sa business mettings. Tita Zian are nice to me, She treats me like her own daughter, Lian have a older brother si Luhan, Luhan is a nice boy, he’s sweet and kind that every woman dreamt of, Sikat si Lulu sa school namen, sobrang bait nya talaga.       One afternoon, habang naglalaro kami ni Lian ng scramble inutusan kami ng mommy nya na hanapin si Lulu gege, May ipapagawa daw sya, so we search for luhan gege, hinanap namen sya sa bahay ng friends nya, sa arcade shop pero hindi  namen sya nkita, Lian and I decided to took different ways to find gege, Inumpisahan ko sya hanapin sa sorroundings, Hindi ako nagpakalayo kasi hindi ko kabisado yung lugar baka maligaw ako, until mapagod ako I decided to take a break, I found a small park, Mukhang walang nang pumupunta doon because it looks so abandon. Umupo ako sa isang batong upuan, I took a deep breath and close my eyes. The birds suddenly starts singing, the winds blows and let me feel it’s present, I enjoy the nature environment, it’s ease my tiredness.   “Sino ka?” a voice suddenly interrupts my peaceful moment, I got scared and immediately stood up, pag lingon ko may nakita ako lalaki, Musculine and tall guy, his hair are dyed in blonde, he was holding a guitar on his left hand.   “Sino ka” tanong nya uli “UHMM? Oohh, sorry bawal ba pumasok dito? Napagod kasi ako kaya ako naupo ditto” napalunok ako nun humakbang sya palapit saken “Hindi ka taga rito noh? Ngayon lang kita nakita” nun nagsalita sya biglang bumilis tibok ng puso ko, napasin ko yung malalim niyang dimple, yung mga mata nya parang kimikislap, pinagmasdan ko syang umupo sa pwesto ko kanina, nilagay nya yung gitara sa lap nya, tumingin sya saken bigla, Shoot! Bakit napatulala ako   “Ahmm, oo nagbabakasyon lang ako dito sa bestfriend ko” I Said avoiding his eyes, tumango naman sya “So ano pangalan mo?” tanong nya uli, I gulp and said “Jia” “Ohh. I’m yixing but my friends call me Lay” he said, he finally smiles. “Sorry kung nag trespassing ako dito hindi ko alam na bawal pala dito pumasok” I shyly rub the back of my neck, Lay smiles and shake his head “I should the one who’s saying sorry, I became rude. Nagulat lang ako may makitang tao dito, Ako lang kasi ang nakakaalala sa lugar na to, wala ng ibang pumupunta ditto maliban saken” he said, patting the space beside him telling me to sit, I do as he want “Really? Bakit naman? Maganda naman dito” “You see, Nakalimutan na ng mga tao ang lugar na to, wala nag pumapansin kasi wala ng ginagawa mga tao dito kundi mag payaman na lang” he sighs “Ohh I see, saying naman”   There’s a moment of silence until I heard him plays his guitar, I look at him “You play guitar?” He nodded and turn his head on me “I spend most of my time here playing guitar, making songs” “Ohh you do compose? That’s awesome” I exclaims, I could see his face turn red, I suddenly feel comfortable with him “you want to sing with me?” I eagerly nodded, he starts playing again, Pinakinggan ko muna sya bago ako kumanta, sometimes we sing together as duet. I really amaze on his voice, he’s voice are soft and calm, I heard lulu gege sings pero iba yung boses nya, hindi ko alam pero kayang kong pakinggan ang boses nya buong araw.     Hindi namen napansin yung oras, pagabi nap ala, it’s already 6PM Baka nagaalala na sila lian saken, imbis na ako nag hahanap kay lulu ako na ngayon ang hinahanap nila. “Shoot! I need to go. Baka hinahanap na nila ako” tumayo ako bigla at akmang aalis na pero pinigil nya ako “Ihahatid  na kita” he offer “Are you sure? Medyo malayo bahay nila luhan gege” “LUHAN? Friend mo si luhan gege?” He asks getting up from his seat “Yes, Bestfriend ko si lian yung kapatid nya”  “Really? Small word, Luhan gege is my friend, Tara ihahatid na kita” I finally agreed   That’s the first time I met him, Days passed, lagi ako pumupunta DOON, we hang out talk and sings together, pakiramdam ko matagal ko na kaming magkakilala, marami kami napaguusapan mga bagay bagay, we found that we share same interest and likes we exchanges number at madalas na kami magkatext, tinutukso na nga ako nila lian at luhan, maybe may gusto daw si lay saken, but I always deny it maybe he’s just too friendly to me, lalo na nun nag text si lay na gusto nya daw ako ipakilala sa mommy nya, Sabi ni lulu ngayon lang daw nya nakita si lay na nagka-interest sa babae, lagi daw kasi yung gitara nya yung kasama nya.   July, 3, 2009. Sinundo  nya ako sa bahay nila Lian, sabi nya naghanda dawn g dinner ang mommy nya, nagbihis ako ng maganda, gusto ko magustohan din ako ng mommy nya, I don’t know why but I want to be perfect on their eyes. “Mom, Dad this is Jia” He introduce me to his parents, hindi pa naman katandaan ang mama at papa nya “You’re beautiful just like what yixing said, Alam mo ba na bukang bibig ka nito? Marami na sya nasabi about you, and he’s right you’re so beautiful” I feel the blood rush on my face, Did he really said that? Did he think that I’m beautiful? GOD! “Nako honey, binuko mo naman ang anak naten!” his father joked “Mom, dad” “Osya, I-tour mo na muna sya ihahanda ko lang yung dinner” sabi ng mommy nya “Show her your art works” his father winks and left too   “Kinukwento mo pala ako sa parents mo” I tease, poking his side, I could see the blush on his face “hindi naman lagi” he shyly smiles “Come on, I show you my room” he then pulled me upstairs   “WOW!” I gasped when he let inside his room, yung wall nya puno ng paintings at drawings hindi ko inakala na mahilig din sya sa art. Maganda na boses at magaling pa mag paint, He’s so perfect. “Did you like it?” he quietly asks still standing behind me “I Love it, It’s amazing, Hindi mo naman sinabi na magaling ka din sa art” I beams “Hindi naman” he said “You know ikaw palang nakapasok ditto maliban kay mommy at daddy” “Talaga? Bakit naman?” I turn around only to find him standing close to me, My head almost hit his face ngayon ko lang napansin na matangkad sya, Whe I look up I found him staring down to me “Because you’re special” he whisper but his eyes are glued somewhere in my face… In my lips. I could feel him leaning down to me, but suddenly someone knock on door, I jump away from him hiding my red face He almost kiss me, my mind screams. “Dinner is ready” his mother announced, Lay then took my hand and pulled me to dining room, the whole dinner is fun, I got a chance to know his parents and masasabi kong close na din kami.           August 04. Dumating na yung araw na kailangan ko na umuwi samen, summer vacation is over, Gusto ko mang mag stay hindi din pwede nakakahiya naman kasi kali lian and Luhan, bago ako umalis nag kita muna kami ni Lay DOON “Tatawagan  mo ako lagi ha?” he said, I smile and nodded “Of course, basta promise mo dadalawin mo ako sa school or sa school” I held my pinky finger “Promise” he smiles and seal the deal by hooking his pinky on mine     Lumipas and buwan at araw, nag start na yung klase, I became busy at times but I never forgot to call or send him a messages, Sometimes pinupuntahan nya ako sa school para ayain kumain sa labas or minsan namamasyal lang kami sa mall and amusement park, Sometimes pumupunta ako saknila para turuan nya ako mag-gitara, or there’s a times na pinapanood ko sya mag paint, every day that I’m with him I feel happy, it’s like he made me feel complete, pero one morning, I woke up feeling different, Takot, dahil alam kong mahal ko na sya, mahal na mahal ko na sya, alam ko naman na hindi nya nararamdaman kung ano nararamdaman ko, kasi alam ko kapatid lang ang turing nya sken, at hindi na mag babago, nung araw din yun sinubukan ko magbago, dumistansya ako sakanya minsan ko na lang sya i-text, kapag tumatawag sya madalas ko na hindi sagutin, alam ko nararamdaman nya nagiging cold ako skanya because he started to ask me what’s wrong or did he did something? I feel guilty but I need to do this, I don’t want to be rejected by the man who I love.. for the first time.   December 8. I found him outside of my school, waiting for me. Sinubukan ko sya iwasan pero nakita parin nya ako, I feel more guilty nung tinanong nya ako “May nagawa ba ako masama? Bakit  mo ako iniiwasn” wala naman sya ginawang masama ako tong may problema, ako tong lumalayo. “let’s go out” I suddenly said, He nodded and let me lead the way, I brought him on a bar, hindi naman ako talaga umiinom gusto ko lang tumikim nag alak baka sakaling makalimutan ko ang problema ko. He just watch me getting drunk, I already finished one bottle, My head starts spinning I can barely see his beautiful face “May problema ka ba?” he asks, I shook my head “wala” “Hindi ka naman iinum nag ganya kung wala ka problema, hindi ka naman umiinom” “Wag mo ako pakelaman, hindi kita kaano ano” I started screaming not bothering the eyes on me, I heard him sighs, I know na nagtitimpi lang sya saken he grab my arms and drag me out of the bar, I don’t even have a chance to pay “Ihahatid na kita” he said “I