“What should we talk about, then?” you looked up at him.

“How beautiful you look in that dress.” Kai looked you over appreciatively, and put his hands on your sides.

You laughed and then he was pushing you against the door. His body was so tight against yours you could barely breathe, and his mouth searched for yours. He kissed you in the same frantic way he had before, and you loved it.

You wrapped arms around him and pushed yourself against him eagerly. He reached around you, opening the door, and you both tumbled into your room. He caught you before you actually fell, then lifted you easily into his arms and carried you.

Gently, he tossed you onto the bed, and then lowered himself on top of you. His stubble tickled your neck and shoulders as he covered you in kisses.

Sitting back, he peeled off his jacket and hoodie, and you expected him to take off his T-shirt, but he stopped, looking down at you. His black hair was slightly disheveled, but his expression was completely foreign to you. He just stared at you, making your skin redden with shame.

“What?”                                                                         

“You’re just perfect,” Kai said, but he sounded distressed about it.

“Oh, I am not.” You blushed and laughed. “You know I’m not.”

“You can’t see what I see.” He leaned over you again, his face tight above yours but not kissing you. After a minute’s hesitation, he kissed your lips. “I just don’t want to disturb you.”

“How are you going to disturb me?”

“Mmm.” A smile played on his lips and then he sat up, climbing off you. “You should go change into pajamas. That dress can’t be comfortable.”

“What do I need pajamas for?” You sat up. You tried to sound flirty, but you knew there was a panicked edge to your voice. As soon as you’d come in here, you thought things were going to go much further than pajamas would allow.

“I’ll stay with you tonight,” Kai tried to reassure you. “But nothing more can happen except for sleep.”

“Why?”

“I’m here.” Kai looked at you intently. “Isn’t that enough?”

You nodded and carefully climbed off of the bed. You stood in front of him so he could your dress, enjoying the way his hands lingered on your skin. You didn’t understand what was going on, but you would be happy for anything you could have with him.

You went into bathroom and changed into pajamas, then came back and climbed into bed. He continued sitting on the edge for a minute, then, almost reluctantly, he came over to you. You curled up in his arms, burying your head in his chest, and he held you tightly to him.

Nothing had ever felt better than being with him like that, and you tried to stay awake so you could relish every minute, but eventually your body gave in and you passed out.

In the morning, you woke up, still curled up in his arms, and he didn’t seem surprised or offended by that. You yawned.

He had started pulling away from you and getting out of the bed. You furrowed your brow but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t that shocking, you didn’t think much of it when Kai started to gather up his jacket and sweatshirt.

Kai paused at the doorway to look back at you, his dark eyes conflicted. He nodded, then turned and walked out of your room, shutting the door behind him.

You didn’t have time to waste. You had to catch him before he left, because you had no idea where he would go.

By the time you made it to his house, your breath was ragged. Your hands were trembling, and that familiar butterfly feeling Kai gave you had spread throughout your body. You was in love with him, and you wasn’t going to give him up. Not for anything in this world.

When you opened his bedroom door, he was standing over his bed, folding clothes and putting them in a suitcase. He looked back at you, surprised by your appearance, then expression in his dark eyes changed to something unreadable.

Dark stubble covered his cheeks, and there was something so ruggedly handsome about him, he almost unbearable to look at. The top few buttons of his dress shirt were undone, revealing a hint of his chest that you found provocative.

“What are you doing here?” Kai stopped what he was doing and took a step toward you.

“To see you.” You nodded, swallowing hard. “Where are you going?”

“(your name)…” his expression softened, and he shook his head. “You can’t go with me. You need to be here.”

“No, I don’t care about here!” You insisted. “Kai, why?”

“I’m going.’’

“What?” You gaped at him.

“I’m going to oversea. So last night was just to say goodbye,” He explained. “My parent will be transferring me out of here as soon as possible.”

“No!” You insisted, feeling a terrifying pain growing in your chest. It screamed that you couldn’t possibly survive without him. “Without you, I will completely tear apart.”

“You will not, I don’t need to be here, and I’m not going to stay.” He said tiredly, almost to himself. He had started folding his clothes again, so you walked over to him and grabbed his arm.

“I want to be with you, and…I think you want to be with me.” You felt sick to your stomach saying it aloud. You expected him to laugh at you or tell you that you was insane, but instead, he slowly looked at you.

In a rare moment of vulnerability, his dark eyes betrayed everything they had been trying to hide from you: affection and warmth, and something even deeper than that. His arm felt strong under your hand, and your heart pounded in your chest. Gently he placed his hand on your cheek, letting his fingers press warmly on your skin, and you stared hopefully at him.

“I am not worth it for you,” Kai whispered hoarsely. “I cannot hold you back. I refuse to.”

“But, Kai, I—” You wanted to tell him more, but he pulled away.

“You have to go now,” He turned his back to you completely, busying himself with packing so he wouldn’t have to look at you.

“Why?” You demanded, tears stinging your eyes.

“Because.” Kai picked up some of his books off a shelf, and you followed right behind him, unwilling to relent in your pursuit.

“That’s not a reason!”

“I’ve already explained it to you.”

“Please Kai, don’t do this,” You tried to hold him.

“I don’t want you!” He snapped.

You felt like you had been slapped. For a moment you stood in stunned silence, just listening to the sound of your hearbeat echo in your ears.

“You’re lying.” A tear slipped down your cheek. “You promised you would never lie to me.”

“I need you to leave!” he growled.

He breathed heavily, with his back to you, but he had stopped moving around. He leaned against the bookshelf, his shoulders hunched forward.

This was your chance to convince him, and you knew it. You touched his back, and he tried to pull away from you, but you wouldn’t move your hand. He whirled on you, grabbing your wrist. He pushed you until your back was against the wall, pinning you there.

His body pressed tightly against yours, you could feel his heart hammering against your chest. He still gripped your wrist, restraining one of your hand against the wall.

You weren’t sure what he intended to do, but he looked down at you, his dark eyes smoldering. Then suddenly you felt his lips press toughly against yours.

He kissed you desperately, like he couldn’t breath without you. He let go of your wrist, allowing you to wrap your arms around him and pull him even closer.

Seconds ago you had been crying, and you could taste the salt from your tears on his lips. Tangling your fingers in his hair, you pulled his mouth more eagerly against yours. Your heart beat so fast it hurt, and an intense heat spread through you.

Somehow he managed to pull his mouth from yours. His hands gripped your shoulders, holding you to the wall, and he took a step back. Breathing hard, he looked at the floor instead of at you.

“I can’t do this to you. I have to go no matter what.”

You tried to reach out for him, but he held you back. “Just let me go with you.”

“(your name)..” He lifted his hand back to your cheek, using his thumb to brush away a fresh tear, and looked at you intently. “I need to go, okay?”

“Kai!”

“I’m sorry.” Kai let go of you and grabbed his half-packed suitcase off his bed. He started walking to the door, and you ran after him. “(your name), enough!”

“But you can’t just leave…” You pleaded.

He hesitated at the doorway and shook his head. I love you. His thought popped in his mind. Then he opened the door and left.

You could’ve followed him, but you didn’t have any more arguments. His kiss had left you feeling dazed and disarmed, and you wondered dimly if that had been his plan all along. He knew his kiss would leave you too weak to chase after him and too confused to argue with him.

After he had gone, you sat down on the bed, which still smelled like him, and started to sob. You let yourself drowning in feeling.

 

FIN

thanks for reading pft /throws love in the air/ 

pmsl derp kaibaek