[Review] niniey87 ~ A JiSica Love Story

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Title – 7/10

–I can’t actually say it’s unique. But I can say that the title itself says it all; what I mean is all of the JiSica fans would be attracted to it and would start reading your story.


Foreword/Description. – 7/10

--In the foreword, as a reader and a writer, I don’t think it’s necessary to put ‘Flashback’ there. Maybe you could just italicize it then after the flashback, you could use the normal font.  Your foreword was interesting and made me want to read some more.


 Plot - 8/15

--It’s unique in your own way but there are some ideas that aren’t very much unique since I read fanfics a lot and I have seen some ideas from others. There are some parts that are kinda boring so it kinda made me stop reading it, but of course as a reviewer I have to keep on reading. As I continue reading, I find myself smiling in some lines and made me have my interest again.


Language -9/15

--There were a lot of wrong grammars in your story so for me it was kinda difficult to understand some points. Some present tense were written in past, which was confusing. There were also some missing words in your sentences.


5. Flow- 10/20

--You have a great flow. You don't leave anything behind and continue to what will happen next. But some chapters are a bit confusing and not well-explained. You need to explain your story well so that the readers could understand it more.


6. Writing style – 7/10

--It was easy to understand but there were some parts where you didn’t put in who was talking so I had to guess who was telling that sentence. Whenever you write, you should put in who is talking in your story so that your readers won’t guess and get confuse.


7. Overall – 15/20

--For me it wasn’t that much entertaining and it didn’t really stick out to me. But of course, for your readers, obviously they liked it. Just really add more twist next time and it will make your story more interesting.

 

Total: 63/100

B+

Now this is what I'm talking about. This is cool, and you're awesome for having a story like this. The plot seems unique and distinctive from other stories too~ The way you use the English language is flawless. You may want to describe the scenes more, in order for the readers to clearly catch the idea you're seeing. But over all, it's awesome. *thumbs up*

 

Reviewed by:

jheine05

Reviewer's Note:

Everything that i want to say is all there already. If you will make another fic, hope you could follow my tips for you :)

Story Link:

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/16254/a-jisica-love-story-bigbang-gdragon-jessicajung-jisica-snsd-soshibang

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Comments

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littlebelle801 #1
requested! ^o^ can i req for a trailer? or not yet? :3
ggaman
#2
Request sent!! :D
Jennyy_Le #3
Requested~! ^.^
GD_LAY #4
DONE!!!!!!!!!
KibummieWaifu
#5
Can i request for a trailer?
Imlucifer
#6
Just requested for a banner.
Do Well~
MLWJYBJCKZJS
#7
I requested for a review! ^-^