ONLY BECAUSE IT’S YOU

 

Yongguk wasn't sure when it all first started. He thought he was just being the good leader like he always was but the other members saw it differently. He did not even remember giving extra attention towards the visual of the group until his dongsaengs bluntly pointed it out one day. They insisted that it was something special... Himchan was special.

 

The members were walking at the side of the venue, heading towards the sound check. Junhong and Youngjae were up front, followed by Yongguk and Himchan closed behind and Jongup and Daehyun at the back of the line.

 

Himchan was looking rather amazed over the sunrise that was shining bright slightly above a distant building from where they were walking that he accidentally stepped on a huge rock and winced in pain almost immediately after that. Yongguk who was walking beside him all along managed to grab his right arm just in time to prevent him from falling flat on the ground. Himchan gasped, and looked at Yongguk with a somewhat shy smile, as if saying 'thank you Bbang and sorry for being clumsy' to which Yongguk replied with a worried look on his face.

 

"Be careful, Channie," he said with his brows furrowed in concern, hand still holding on to Himchan's arm.

 

Not long after that, Yongguk instantly heard the snickering of the two members walking behind them and he immediately looked back, a brow was raised in confusion.

 

"What?" he asked, looking back and forth between Jongup and Daehyun.

 

Daehyun did not answer him but instead, he shouted out loud for Junhong and Youngjae to hear at the front.

 

"He did it again!"

 

Jongup was giggling happily over the remarks and this time, Himchan too, turned around to face them at the back. He was just as confused as Yongguk was.

 

"Who did what?" Himchan asked, looking quite uneasy for not knowing what the members were talking about.

 

At the same time, Junhong and Youngjae shook their heads in unison over the obliviousness of their hyungs. Youngjae even managed to whisper to Junhong, "I bet he didn't even realize he's doing it."

 

Smiling and nodding in agreement just as fast, Junhong replied, "And I bet Himchan-hyung thinks it's normal for him to act like that."

 

"What's happening? Who did what?" Yongguk asked the same question as Himchan's, feeling somewhat curious now. His hand was still holding on to Himchan's arm as they continued walking and he looked back once in a while as if waiting for any answers from them, especially from Daehyun.

 

"Yongguk-hyung... You did it again," Daehyun managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes towards his dumbfounded hyung. He then, looked swiftly towards Jongup and raised his brows up and down... proud.

 

Yongguk scratched the back of his head with his free hand and looked at Himchan in confusion. Himchan just shrugged because he himself did not even know what was happening as well.

 

"What did Bbang do?" Himchan finally asked, knitting lines on his forehead.

 

"Didn't you notice, Himchan-hyung? Whenever it comes to you, Yongguk-hyung always transformed to this… different person," Jongup bluntly replied.

 

When he realized he had just blurted it out loud, Jongup hurriedly looked at Daehyun with his jaw dropped wide open. Daehyun, however, brushed it off with a smile, as if saying it was okay for him to say so. It was, indeed, about time to make them notice.

 

Hearing that, Yongguk shot a questioning look towards Jongup. To him, what Jongup said just now did not make any sense at all because...

 

"That's not true! I've always been like that... even with you guys!" Yongguk protested. He was downright astonished to find out what his dongsaengs had thought about him all along. There was absolutely no truth in that statement— at least that was what Yongguk wholeheartedly wanted to believe.

 

Out of nowhere, his four dongsaengs started to laugh out loud and Yongguk saw at the corner of his eye that Himchan was somewhat blushing a deep red tint. He looked in front and back again and raised a brow, annoyed over the responses he was receiving.

 

“Hyung, seriously… you’re never like that when you’re with us. Not even to Junhong, right Junhong?” Daehyun defended Jongup’s straightforward statement just now as he emphasized the question for Junhong to answer.

 

Junhong smiled knowingly and looked back for a moment to look Yongguk in the eye, “Ditto! Not even with me,” he said as he faked a disappointed look, in which Youngjae tried so hard not to laugh to.

 

Yongguk cringed.

 

He looked at Himchan— the younger guy looked back at him with the same look he wore on his face right about now.

 

“I don’t get it. What’s so different about the way I treat Channie and the way I treat you guys? I feel the same,” Yongguk said in frustration. He still believed that there was no truth behind their pointless—or so he thought— statement that had left him wondering with train of thoughts.

 

“There are a LOT of differences, hyung… don’t get us started. With Himchan-hyung, you noticed even the littlest thing about him. You cared for things that you shouldn’t even be thinking about in the first place and you gave him attention more than he needs it and… just look at you now, hyung. You can’t even let him go,” Youngjae said as he eyed Yongguk’s hand on Himchan’s arm with a devilish spark in his eyes.

 

Junhong joined in and snickered.

 

Daehyun and Jongup followed suit just as fast.

 

… And Himchan— he looked at the strong and sturdy hand on his arm and darted his gaze back to Yongguk, blinking repeatedly.

 

With that, as fast as the speed of light, Yongguk quickly claimed his hand back at his side. He felt somewhat embarrassed when his dongsaengs pointed it out about it and he almost wished he wasn’t there with them at this time around. He fought hard not to turn red; no… he wouldn’t want that, not in front of them.

 

Yongguk scoffed a little before he urged Youngjae to fasten his pace, an attempt to change the subject.

 

“I’m pretty sure I don’t do those things only to Channie,” Yongguk mumbled to himself under his breath… and he regretted doing so after a mere second because apparently, Junhong heard him and that made the maknae to say something that will make Yongguk’s brain work at a full speed for a long, long time now.

 

 

“Of course not, hyung, you do those things only because it’s Himchan-hyung.”

 

 

*

 

 

Their sound check ended quite early than expected and because it was still early for them to go back to the dorm, manager-hyung suggested for them to eat out at a restaurant before going back, to which they gladly agreed to. It had been quite a while since they last had a proper meal together at a proper restaurant in an appropriate time. After debating for a while, they finally chose a traditional Korean restaurant not far from their dorm, just in case they needed to hurry back if anything urgent were to happen.

 

Yongguk was the first one to take a seat at the table, and Himchan followed closely behind him and took a seat just beside the leader. Jongup hesitated for a while in choosing his seat but he settled on the seat beside Himchan when the older latter practically pulled his hand to sit beside him. The rest of them—Daehyun, Youngjae and Junhong—took their seats in front of Jongup, Himchan and Yongguk respectively.

 

They ordered a complete set of meal—Yongguk’s treat—and started to eat and chatting around happily, putting behind the stress and burden on their shoulders at the back of their minds for a while.

 

Junhong was busy explaining how he wanted to go to the new accessories store that had just opened near their dance studio and Daehyun kept chattering about this ahjumma that has been mentioning him weird tweets on his Twitter.

 

They chatted quite loudly… but Yongguk could hear nothing.

 

He just stared at the kimchi jjigae in front of him because his mind told him to pick some and put them in Himchan’s bowl… but he remembered how the members were saying that he had been giving this strangely affection towards Himchan and it bothered him a tad bit, if not much. It was not as if he was bothered by their statement, it was just that he was afraid what they said was true. Did he have a soft spot for Himchan all along? And if he did, was it only because it’s him?

 

Not strong enough to fight his mind’s desire, Yongguk grabbed some kimchi jjigae with his chopstick and casually dropped them in Junhong’s bowl, and then in Youngjae’s—an attempt to avoid any suspicions between the members if he were to only do that to Himchan. He chewed on his food for a few seconds before picking up his chopstick again for the kimchi jjigae and this time, he dropped them in Himchan’s bowl. The younger latter looked at him and smiled with his eyes as he took those kimchi jjigae right in his mouth. The rice that was sticking on to them got stuck at the corner of his lips and Yongguk saw that.

 

Incautiously, the leader put his hand up to Himchan’s lips and brushed away the rice with his thumb. He gave a gummy smile towards the younger latter and whispered near his ear lobe in an almost inaudible voice, “You’re so clumsy, Channie.”

 

Himchan looked at him shyly, putting his hand on Yongguk’s lap out of habit and continued to finish his meal—in which it stayed there for the rest of the dinner.

 

The sudden cough from the younger ones brought both of them back to Earth.

 

Yongguk eyed the trio in front of him suspiciously, and then he looked across Himchan to find Jongup, who ended up giggling rather hysterically when Junhong bluntly pointed it out, yet again,

 

 

“Told you… only because it’s Himchan-hyung.”

 

 

*

 

 

“Bbang… are you okay? You looked somewhat out of place,” Himchan approached the leader who was sitting stiffly on his shared bunk beds with Junhong. Yongguk felt a weight pressed on his bed and turned abruptly towards his left to find the beautiful man—so he acknowledged only in his mind—occupying the empty space beside him.

 

For a while, Yongguk stayed silent. He just stared at Himchan’s eyes… searching for an answer to his never-ending questions. He had been staring for far too long now as Himchan shifted nervously, resting a hand on top of Yongguk’s lap to get his attention.

 

“Bbang, what’s bothering you?”

 

 

Silence.

 

 

Himchan frowned in frustration. He was not used to being ignored by anyone, especially Yongguk.

 

“Bang Yongguk! Answer me!” Himchan hit the side of Yongguk’s arm and the older latter jumped almost immediately. He grabbed Himchan’s hand in return and secured them in his, making the latter blushed lightly.

 

“I wonder…,” Yongguk started.

 

“I wonder if what the kids are saying is true.”

 

Himchan raised a brow. He bit the bottom of his lips when he felt butterflies in his stomach as Yongguk gently fiddled with his fingers.

 

“Which part?”

 

 

Silence, yet again.

 

 

It annoyed Himchan—the fact that Yongguk was not answering his questions. He was about to pull away his hands from the older latter’s grasp when Yongguk’s voice suddenly broke the silence.

 

“Do you think I treated you differently than the others?”

 

Swallowing a lump down his throat, Himchan gulped. He somewhat had the answer to that question on his mind for quite a while now.

 

 

“To be honest… yes, Bbang.”

 

 

Yongguk lifted his head up and his eyes instantly met with Himchan’s.

 

 

“Why do you think I do that?” he asked. His deep low tone of voice sent chills down Himchan’s spine but he loved that feeling it gave him. He has always loved that voice of Yongguk.

 

 

“I don’t know, maybe because you love me?” Himchan joked.

 

 

“Maybe I do.”

 

 

The words pierced in Himchan’s ears like a dagger straight to a man’s heart. His eyes grew to the size of a golf ball and his jaw dropped wide open. Himchan stayed like that for almost a full minute until he finally regained consciousness as he slapped Yongguk on his well-built arm.

 

“You’re not supposed to say that, I was joking!” Himchan retorted.

 

“I know… but I did, didn’t I?” Yongguk said in a serious tone.

 

Himchan was left dumbfounded when Yongguk inched closer, closing the gap between their faces to only an inch. He cupped Himchan’s puffy cheeks and breathed on the latter’s lips, “Can I kiss you to confirm it?”

 

It was not actually a question since Yongguk did not even bother to wait for an answer when he closed the gap between them completely, pressing his lips gently against Himchan’s plump ones. He waited for the latter to push him away in protest but nothing came from the younger one. Yongguk took it as a green light as he slid his tongue into Himchan’s mouth and found their tongues gliding against each other seconds later. Himchan closed his eyes incautiously and Yongguk watched as his head tilted from left to right, feeling the ecstasy that was caused by his own tongue. Yongguk felt proud for a while, knowing that he was the cause for the beautiful man to be in such state, as he pressed harder against the younger one's full lips.

 

The kiss lasted for what seemed like an eternity when Yongguk finally pulled away, leaving Himchan gasping for air. He rested his forehead atop Himchan’s and he watched as Himchan’s eyes finally fluttered open. Their eyes met for a second before Himchan darted his gaze away from Yongguk’s preying eyes, blushing a deep red upon seeing the man who had passionately kissed him just now… his first abnormal kiss ever, as he would call it.

 

Yongguk let out a soft laugh. His hot breath brushed on Himchan’s mouth, as if teasing his lips. Himchan waited for Yongguk to say something, eyes still closing shut. They did just share a passionate kiss just now, after all. Knowing well what Himchan was waiting for, Yongguk leaned in closer than before, if that was even possible, considering they were already only a paper thin away from each other.

 

What Yongguk said later on made Himchan’s heart flustered in happiness.

 

 

“If it were someone else, I would’ve been disgusted by that. I guess what the kids are saying is true… I did what I did… only because it’s you, Channie… only because it’s you.”

 

 

*

 

 

Little did they know, their dongsaengs were eavesdropping all along outside the door.

 

Youngjae smiled in approval, Jongup giggled over their leader’s cheesiness and Junhong cupped his ears, unable to stand the sweetness between them.

 

But Daehyun could only think of something at this point.

 

And what he said sent them laughing out loud and causing Yongguk to storm out of the room to curse them for ruining his moment.

 

 

“Somehow I’m relieved that Yongguk-hyung does all of those things he did… only because it’s Himchan-hyung. Or else, I think he’d be kissing all of us like that as well. What a nightmare!”

- Jung Daehyun, 2013.

 

 

 

 

The End.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[A/N] So, how was it? 8D my very first Banghim fanfic, everrrr! Comments are my oxygen, so pretty pleaseeee? I wanna know your opinions as well, so don't be shy! :3 Till next time, thank you so much for reading! - Mao.