A/N: Thank you for showing me love. I’m already starting to get inspired.

Unfortunately, a lot of things came up which took my time away from posting/writing.

But for your support, here’s a one-shot in return.

Thank you to those who greet me a happy birthday btw!

 

Blind (Part 1 of 2)

 

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

 

FOREWORD:

This is my story.

 

 

I’ve always been the type of person who trusted my instincts and my gut feel.

 

I was the type of person who never judged someone based on their appearance because I know damn well how people tend to judge me as well- with how I look or the way I talk and express myself.

 

I know people tend to typecast me as someone to who liked the same gender because of how I looked but through the years I’ve learned not to care and be just numb about it.

 

Hell, it worked. Being true to yourself can certainly change people’s opinion about you. I’m not being a hypocrite when I say I’m not gay ‘cause to be honest I’ve never been in love so how would I know if I like girls or boys?

 

 

I’ve always been an optimist; believing that good things always come to end.

 

People say I was like that because of the way I was brought up or how lucky I was to have everything.

Maybe I was or I really am.

 

My life has been perfect for me. And I couldn’t ask for more.

 

 

But ever since you came to my life, I’ve been a mess.

I’ve become a complete cryptic and cynic.

 

 

What have you done to me?

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I can still remember the first time you walked inside the room. Everyone’s eyes were on you as the teacher started your introduction.

 

As curious as I am, I’ve always been the type of person who liked to please people- consciously or not. And with all of our classmates staring at you I couldn’t help but think how scary or nerve-wracking it was to be placed under the spotlight in front of strangers, even foreigners for that matter. That’s why I forced myself not to look at you but instead just pay my attention to everything else other than you. Maybe that’s my way of helping you out a bit.

 

With how you introduced yourself, I’ve learned that we have a lot of things in common. Like where we came from or you being acquainted with most of my friends which surprised me to say the least.

 

I never judged you. Because who am I to do that when I barely know you?

But as days passed by, you started getting on my nerves.

 

Like how you look or how you do the tiniest actions and it ticks me off.

 

It was confusing for me.

 

Two years passed by and you’ve made your own reputation as the ‘ice princess’. It wasn’t exactly something good but it wasn’t bad either.

 

You were known as someone being high and mighty-always number one in everything: may it be sports, arts, music or academics.

It certainly didn’t help how you never hung out with our classmates; you only hung out with the older kids. Even so, everyone was your friend; or they appear to be.

 

Despite you having a good repertoire and image among our classmates you never seem to interact with us as much.

What, like you’re too good for us to hang out with?

 

Nonetheless, you’ve still built your own army of admirers who loved you despite of how cold and unfriendly you are and haters who were dying of envy with how you got the best of everything.

 

I would say I was on neutral, but I’d also be lying if I was one of your admirers.

Why you started as being annoying for me, I’ll never know.

 

My irritation with you only grew higher on our senior year, because that’s when you started hanging out with my friends.

 

It shocked me as I saw you there sitting at our table on the very first lunch break of the very first day of school. I lost my appetite, but I pulled it off for the sake of my friends. I never spoke the whole time you were there and just ended up listening to what you guys were talking about.

 

I hated the fact that I got to know more about you because I don’t wanna have to care about that or you for the matter. I found out how friendly you were to those you knew. It almost stole my breath as I saw you smile, but I don’t think it was in a good way; more like I was too surprised to see you acting so warm. I thought it was all fake; I knew it was all fake.

Maybe you had no choice because all of your friends already graduated; you were stuck with us.

 

I started hanging out less with my friends; eating lunch by myself at the roof top or just staying at the library to pass time. They didn’t notice it, but I guess you did.

 

I guess anybody would think how weird it was for us to have the same circle of friends even hanging out with around each other but not even bothering to talk to each other. Every time you would talk I’d be looking bored or doing something else.

 

There was this time were unfortunate for me we’ve been paired as partners for our research paper. But somehow, I found out a way to get out of it and asked one of our friends to change partners. I made some lame excuse that I just wanted to work with someone else, no offense to you. But I knew it was the moment my resentment for you uncovered itself.

 

After this incident you tried talking to me only to get one worded answers or just nods from me. Every time you would ask me something that would require me to answer with phrases or sentences, I would just shrug my shoulders following with ‘No idea’, ‘I don’t know’ or the ever bad-mannered ‘Who gives?’

 

I felt you trying to get on my good side or at least trying to reach out, but it always ended up embarrassing you.

 

 

You confronted me one day.

As I entered the door to the roof top you were already standing there as if you were waiting for me.

I guess it was obvious how much I was trying hard to ignore you, ‘cause the moment I stepped in and I saw you I sort of hesitated to continue walking and instead go back inside.

 

I took a deep breath and continued my stance. I walked up and sat at the ledge as I started drinking whatever bottle it was of I was holding.

 

I barely tasted anything as I felt your stare boring at me.

 

I couldn’t afford to look at you, but at the same time it was hard not to.

With barely a second of glancing at you, it was like you were hesitating.

 

What is it that you were hesitant about? I was honestly curious.

 

You walk closer, still bearing at least 5 feet away from me before I heard you taking a deep breath.

 

“What did I ever do to you?”

 

It wasn’t anything I was expecting, but I knew it was coming.

 

It took me a while to process what I needed to say and how I was going to say it.

I needed time to lie, because I seriously didn’t know myself why.

 

What has she ever done to me for me to feel this resentment or annoyance towards her?

 

 

“Nothing.”

And there it was my answer to her question and to my own.

 

“Why then?”, you continued, seemingly gaining the courage to ask more.

 

I couldn’t help but to give out a big sigh and draw my eyes together. I know it was bad-mannered of me to purposely let or make her feel how uncomfortable I was and how I was starting to get annoyed, but I couldn’t help it.

It was a move. But hell, I just didn’t give a that time.

 

“I don’t need to answer to you.”, was my harsh reply.

 

“I-I have the right to.”, you stuttered.

 

Were you afraid of me? Or were you just nervous or uncomfortable in this kind of situation?

Whatever, I don’t wanna know.

I turned back and started walking away, but just before I was halfway through I replied, “No you don’t.”

 

“I do!”

 

Once again, you left me startled. I guess it was about time you got angry. You had all the right to be. But I’m entitled to my own feelings and my own opinion. So I pretended not to care and just continued walking.

 

 

“ you Amber.”

 

 

Just before I was about to open the door I heard it. Totally hit me like a car that had its tires from screeching too hard from having suddenly hit the brakes.

 

I was stuck up until you walked past me almost hitting the door on my face.

 

“Damn.”

 

It hit me hard. You hit me hard. For a second there I felt like I was such a horrible person.

Well, just a second.

 

I ended up in bewilderment with how you continue to surprise me. It made me smirk with how unpredictable you were. I guess I thought I had you figured out.

I can’t believe the oh-so-perfect ‘model’ student could curse someone like that; and it just happened to be me.

 

You proved me wrong and it intrigued me.

 

I walked inside our classroom feeling the tension between us. But it made me feel giddy inside. I ended up playing with our friends getting scolded once in a while by the teacher for being noisy or disrupting the serious mood of the class.

 

Maybe you thought I was sick with how light I acted and how I tried to pose as nothing happened. But I didn’t care. I certainly didn’t even when you started ignoring me.

You never did that before, but come to think of it you never reached out for me either. Well, at least not directly; leaving out the incident at the rooftop.

 What? Were you expecting me to reach out first?

Hell no. I’m not like any other person out there who’d be ready to go down on their knees just for you to notice them or for you to even talk to them.

 

Somehow, it made my days better knowing how you never bothered to hang out with my friends anymore; well, at least when I’m around. It was good for a few days, but somehow I started feeling sympathetic. So I went back to hanging out by myself so you could hang out with them. It wasn’t because I knew how happy you were every time you’re with them. It’s because I find out how you could only express your true self when you’re with the people you trust; and you trusted my friends.

I figured, it also made me resent them a bit. Though they weren’t exactly aware of what was happening between us, I got jealous of all the attention they give you.

 

After having to come up with countless lies and excuses not to hang out with them especially after a month passing by not bothering to show up or talk to them, I grew tired and finally pretended to lose interest with my own friends just so they’d stop bothering me.

 

I started hanging out with other people I barely know. It was hard, but I wasn’t exactly the loner type, plus I got along with everyone pretty well.

 

But losing your own friends and having to start build up new connections and new bonds was tiring.

I became lonely, but this time I had no one to blame but myself.

I lost interest in everything I loved to do and lost interest in hanging out with everyone; period.

 

But one day, this girl came to my life and brought me out of my shell.

 

I guess my Mom does know me pretty well. I knew she had something to do about it when one of our house helpers started bringing her daughter along.

 

The girl was younger than me about a year from what my Mom told me. She was studying at the school near mine, but it wasn’t as prestigious. I mean, I’m not exactly bragging but at the same time it’s not something to be proud of compared to how they were living.

 

I instantly became sympathetic. Who wouldn’t when the girl was so kind and optimistic?

 

We became close as we would hang out together while doing our homework. At first I thought it was weird with how my Mom asked her to study with me, but then as we got closer I realized it because my Mom knew how much I needed a friend right now.

She knew how close I was to my high school friends with how we would always hang out after school or at each other’s houses.

 

I was very thankful for her.

 

Luna and I became close. Even up to the point where she’d stay in our own house and sleep in my room. After school I would go straight to hers to pick her up and spend time with her and her friends. They were the same as her: kind, friendly and they all gave me this vibe where I can be myself around them; kinda like my high school friends.

 

I guess rumours got around with how I spend time with kids from the ‘other’ school. I knew my friends were already aware with it as they started to reach out to me. Maybe wanting to know how I’ve been or why I was acting the way I did. I knew them pretty well that they wouldn’t give up that easily. I knew that they just let me be to give me space. To be honest I was more surprised with Krystal, I mean it was obvious how we don’t get along but maybe I expected her to tell them what happened between us.

But then again, why would she care?

 

I finally gave up after Luna convinced me to attend Sulli’s birthday party.

But in one condition though, she’d have to come with me.

 

It wasn’t that I was already uncomfortable with my friends but the fact that we barely hung out with each other for almost 2 months. And with how close they’ve gotten with Krystal, it was inevitable that I’d feel kind of out of place.

 

I guess they we’re all surprised when I came to the party with some stranger; for them at least. But knowing my friends, I knew they’d get along with Luna.

 

And they did. The whole night I stuck close to Luna. Who knew this tiny girl had such a beautiful voice?

Safe to say she blew all of us away as she belted the notes perfectly.

 

Still, something was off though. The whole time Krystal barely spoke a word nor released a different expression. Was she still uncomfortable around me?

Heck, maybe it was just me.

After all I only paid my attention towards Luna so I wouldn’t be sure either.

 

 

 As I excused myself to the bathroom, I saw Luna stumbling her way to open the door. Maybe we shouldn’t have let Victoria convince us to drink that shot the guys were offering or Luna for that matter.

 

I walked faster to help her up. And as I guided her in front of the bathroom door, it suddenly swung open revealing a red-faced pissed off Krystal.

 

We accidentally made eye contact. What the hell? Did she just glare and roll her eyes at me?

 

What a b-

 

! Luna’s gonna barf.

 

Damn. So that ended my night. But with how late it got, and how far I live from Sulli me and Luna ended up staying over. Good thing I still have some clothes that I left here.

 

I cleaned and dressed Luna by myself and laid her down the guest bedroom where we’d be staying together. I thought it’d be better to have everything prepared in the morning: our clothes and a glass of water and some aspirin for Luna.

 

I had just gotten out of the room when somebody came stumbling out of another guest bedroom.

“Krystal!!”

Vic-unnie’s voice. Well, Vicky’s drunken voice.

 

I was about to ignore her when I saw her trying to go down the staircase; Sulli’s very large and grand staircase as I might add.

 

As much as I wanted to mind my own damn business I’m not that evil to let her stumble onto the stairs.

 

I helped her up as much as she was trying to push me away. I carried her bridal-style before placing her down beside Vic-unnie. God, she reeks of alcohol; they both reek of sweat and alcohol.

 

After I placed her comfortably, I took out the comforter and placed the blankets on top of them. I also fixed Vic-unnie’s position because the way she was lying down would make a mean stiff-neck for days.

God, Unnie’s knocked down pretty hard.

 

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh as I saw their faces. Damn. Good luck with their hang over.

And hey, Krystal doesn’t look too bad she even looks cute if I may say.

 

, I think I’m not that sober as I thought.

 

But who am I kidding, I’m perfectly sober.

 

 

Right before I was about to leave, I heard something from her.

I think I took advantage of her condition and decided to trigger her more.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“I said I hate you Amber Liu. I ing, hate you. ”

 

“Ditto.”, I challenged as if it’ll have any effect on her.

 

“I hate your guts so frrreakin’ much.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.”, I spoke as I was about to leave.

 

“Y-you wanna know why?”

 

“…”

 

“ ’Cause you make me care so much!... about.. about you!”

 

It came out slurred with how she talked, but nonetheless everything she said was clear as hell.

 

I couldn’t stop myself from walking towards her.

“What did you just say?”, I asked as I stood beside her.

 

“Yah! Krystal Jung, what the hell did you just say?”

 

 

 

I got nothing else from her.

But ever since that night I can’t get her out of my mind.

 

 

And I hated it. I hated how much she made me care.

 

 

The next day in school was weird for me; weird because I never really bothered about her presence until that night.

 

The moment class started I hated to admit it but I can’t keep my eyes away from her.

 

Was she always this beautiful? I mean, obviously she was always pretty, but the way her hair falls down on her face; it suited her perfectly.

I guess she felt my stare as she caught me looking at her. I noticed it kinda startled her. Makes me wonder how I looked like as she caught me staring.

Did I look angry? Or did I look annoyed?

To be honest, I wasn’t aware of what I was doing or what was happening.

 

Soon enough our gaze met once again, and this time I think she looked shy; with the way she bowed her head as she looked towards the front.

 

Intriguing; yes, that’s the word.

 

Makes me wonder…

 

“Liu.”

 

“Yah Liu.”

 

“Amber!”

 

 

“What?!”

 

. I did not just say that to my teacher.

 

“Excuse me??”, our teacher retorted.

 

“Look Liu, staring at Miss Jung doesn’t teach you these equations.”, our teacher spoke as he pointed at the board; an attempt to make a joke. And a very, very bad one I might add.

 

“I’m.. I’m sorry Sir.. I wasn’t…”

 

“Well whatever it was you’re doing, daydreaming or not forget it and pay me your full attention. Arasso? ”

“Neh.”

 

. That was embarrassing.

 

I sunk down my seat and started flipping the pages of the book I have no idea about. And when that didn’t calm me down, I started doodling on my notebook pretending to busy myself as I process what had just happened.

 

. This all her fault.

 

I must admit that the first time I saw her triggered something in me; she confused me and with everything else that’s happened I couldn’t feel more lost.

And now, I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore.

 

As I took a peek at her, she had this small smile on her face; completely washing away my rising annoyance.

 

 

I know my friends won’t let me hear the end of it. So I quickly took off after class going to Luna’s school and telling her how I got embarrassed today. I thought it would make her laugh, but surprisingly it sort of annoyed her.

 

“So?”

“What? I’m just telling you what happened. God.. I think that was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me… I wish I could bury myself…”

“Geez Amber! If you really want to forget it so bad then why couldn’t you just let it go?!”

 

“Yah.. Chill Luna.. I was just telling you what happened…”

 

For the first time since we’d met, it got awkward.

 

“Anyway… I have a lot of home work to do so why don’t we just go home.. Or do you have any plans?”

 

Luna ended up sighing before walking ahead of me.

 

Did I do something wrong?

 

 

 

Night came and Luna and I were still awkward with each other. It wasn’t until we were going to bed that she broke the tension.

 

“I’m sorry… I was… I was jealous.”

 

“W-why? Why would you be jealous?”

 

 

A minute or two passed by before she was able to explain.

 

“I like you.. I really like you Amber.”

 

Luna was about to leave when she didn’t get a quick response from me until I stopped her and told her I wanted her to stay.

 

Just as she faced me her lips crashed into mine.

 

 

 

They said the first kiss always steals the breath out of your lips.

I couldn’t agree more.

 

 

I guess I finally realized what people have been bothering about when it comes to your first kiss or even your first relationship for that matter.

 

 

Having tasted that first exchange of lips and breaths, you’d realize it gets better and it leaves you wanting more.

 

That’s how I felt with Luna. Infatuated is a good term to put it.

 

I’d become more lost  for lack of better words; in what I was doing or should be doing. But this time I had courage and stability with Luna by my side.

 

 We took our relationship to the next level and started sneaking out into dates and having sleepovers almost every day.

 

I forgot about Krystal and started hanging out with my friends again whether in her presence or not.

I’m sure she was shocked as well same as my friends.

They started questioning and teasing me to get hints on what was going on with my life up until Key (one of my friends) brought up me being in-love. This caught me off guard and before I knew it I couldn’t contain my feelings anymore. And at the end of the day it marked in everyone’s mind that I was indeed in-love/inspired.

 

I happened to arrive really early the next day in school. I was the only one inside the classroom so I thought I can maybe catch up on some sleep. I’ve been staying up late with Luna; having her lying next to me. We would always end up tiring ourselves making out. Not that I was complaining but it’s making me tired lately with the lack of sleep.

 

Right before I was about to doze off I felt something light hitting the top of my head. I tried to ignore it but it happened after another minute. When it came for the third time I couldn’t help but give that person a piece of my mind.

 

“What?!”

Looking up I found that it was just Krystal and I in the room.

 

“What?”, I repeated the question. But she looked a bit shocked. Maybe because it was the first time my voice sounded so gentle.

 

I raised my eyebrows at her before getting just a nod or was it a bow from her. Just as I was about to lay my head back down I heard her calling me.

 

“Hey Am…”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“N-nothing…”

 

“You sure?”, I asked only getting a nod before she stood up to leave me alone inside the room.

 

 

As we went for lunch I couldn’t help but over hear our other friends showing concern for Krystal. I think I heard her say that she was filling a bit under the weather.

 

The week went on, with Luna and I got to know more about each other both mentally and physically. We started to get more daring; moving up into full-out make out sessions to 2^nd base.

 

Krystal was absent for two days. I didn’t notice the first day, but second I did when a friend of mine brought it up. I can’t believe I didn’t realize she was gone.

After three days she finally came back looking worse if I might add. She looked a lot paler and more restless. I knew she wasn’t feeling well when she excused herself in the middle of class to go to the infirmary.

 

The class continued. I stood up to go to the rest room. I did my thing but before I got out, I finally heard some sobbing sounds. I can’t help but be curious so I asked aloud who it was and if they were okay.

But I got startled as it was Krystal who burst out, suddenly hugging me tightly. It was short enough as I was about to return it she pulled of immediately.

“You okay?”, I asked.

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.”, I retorted as we were still standing closely to each other. I tried to wipe her tears away when she suddenly pushed past me.

“Leave me alone!”, was the last thing I heard from her.

 

 

 

I don’t know when I started to be alright with the fact that I was fine with Krystal being around, or the thought that she and I can actually be friends.

Thinking about it, maybe it was because of Luna. She was a great distraction and a positive influence in my life right now.

 

“Amberrr…”, Luna spoke breathlessly. I almost forgot I was with her.

“N-neh?”, I let out the same.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m… I’m fine.. W-Why?”, I spoke breathlessly.

“You’re zooning out in the middle of our make out session babe. What’s wrong?”, Luna continued as she finally let go of my lips to look at me properly.

“Maybe I’m just tired.”, it wasn’t technically a lie.

“How come?”, she asked as she caressed one of my cheeks.

“Well, maybe it’s because of the lack of sleep I’m having because of a certain ‘puppy’ always wanting to play around.”, I which made her pout.

I couldn’t help but kiss her once again, returning to our previous position; but this time I flipped us over so I was on top.

Before things got heated up, I broke our kiss an whispered, “Can we continue this another time? I’m seriously drained…”, I yawned before I continued. “I wanna sleep..”

 

She let out a breath before, “Alright, but you owe me tomorrow.” She teased.

“Neh. I’ll pay you back.”

 

We ended up cuddling the whole night.

 

 

 

If Luna hadn’t texted then I wouldn’t even realize how she wasn’t at our house the next day. She texted me to ask me if we could meet up at the café near our school after classes.

 

 

 

“Am, I think your Mom knows already.”

“About?”

 

“About us..”, came out as a whisper.

 

“H-how come?”, I asked feeling a tug in my stomach.

“Last night, I saw her peeking inside your room.”

 

“When?”

“We were already asleep, but then I woke up to the door slamming shut.”

I let out a sigh of relief, “Luna, there’s nothing to worry about my Mom knows how close we are, the only thing she might have seen was us cuddling. But those things aren’t such a big deal around here right?”

 

“Yeah, I guess you are.”, she spoke. But with the way she said it you can tell she was still a bit doubtful.

 

 

But who am I kidding. I know my Mom perfectly well and she knew me too probably more than I know myself.

And I was right when I haven’t seen Luna for a few days now. She’s not replying to my texts either so I decided to drop by her school after classes.

As if my thoughts and the situation isn’t that messed up already, school was really weird because Krystal and I kept bumping into each other, whether entering the classroom, at the lunch line or at the library.

 

Luna couldn’t look at me straight in the eye as she saw me. I asked her what happened by she lied to me saying that she was just really busy with school but I knew better. I decided to give her some space and just let her be. I’ll just talk to her tomorrow. But to confirm that something was up when she kept refusing me to at least walk her home. She made excuse after excuse until I finally gave up in convincing her.

 

My Mom was already home the moment I stepped inside our house. She was asking me where I went and what I did. She was never this strict and doubtful which only fuelled my theory that she already has an idea about what’s been going on with me and Luna.

She kept asking if I wasn’t good terms with my friends anymore or if I should invite them over or if Luna had something to do with it.

 

I’ve had it with all the unnecessary questions making me feel like I did something wrong.

Still being interrogated by my Mom, I snapped and threw her a question of my own.

“What did you say to Luna?”

“Why would you ask me that?”

“Just answer the question Mom. I’ve been answering all yours.”

 

After getting nothing from her, I threw another question. “Why is she avoiding me?”

 

“Mom, c’mon. It’s a simple question. Why can’t you answer it, when for the past 30 minutes I’ve been answering your questions non-stop?”

“Mom, c’mon.. Mom..”

 

“Mom!”

“Amber! Stop it!”

“Why? Why can’t you answer my question? Why? ”

“Stop it young lady!”

“But Mom!”

“No buts!”

“Seriously??!”, I was beyond angry at this point.

 

“You have no right to do that!”, I snapped at her.

“She’s- she’s she’s my friend!”

“Oh really?”, she threw the question coldly trying to challenge me, but I’m not gonna back down.

 

“She’s my friend Mom!”, I retorted.

“Amber Josephine Liu!”

Getting annoyed at this pointless argument, “ C’mon Mom  just answer my question! What did you say to Luna and why is she avoiding me right now?”

“Or should I answer it for you?!”

“Can’t you tell the truth Mom??”

 

“Okay Mom if you can’t then here it is.. ”

 

“Luna’s my girlfriend and I love her. ”

 

“I love her Mom!”, I raised my voice, though quivering as I finally revealed the truth.

 

“You’re not in love with her.”, she spoke calmly but there was harshness to it which made me shiver, but I still stood my ground.

 

“I do Mom! I love her! And she- she loves me back.”

 

“I don’t want to hear any of this anymore. Go back to your room Amber! You’re grounded! You are to go straight home after school and I’ll be keeping your phone away from you and no internet for a month!”

 

Three days have passed by and my Mom and I barely talk to each other and it goes the same for Luna.

 

 

I reverted back to being the ‘zombie’ Amber; being a loner, and feeling lost and confused.

As much as my friends tried so hard to convince me to hang out with them I didn’t ‘cause I didn’t care anymore. On the rare times that they did, I did nothing but zone out trying to think of ways to figure out my situation with Luna.

 

The weekend before Christmas break was the parent-teacher meeting of the school. My Mom has never attended one of those so it surprised me when I saw her in school. I knew how busy she was with her work so I always understood. We needed the money right?

I think she was trying to keep an eye on me as much as possible while trying to stay on my good side. My Mom’s smart and she knows how much she hurt me as she tried to break me and Luna apart.

 

My Mom really got into the mood after visiting school because I think she met her old childhood best friend who she got lost in touch with. My Mom would always tell me the things that happened to her and I think for a moment there she forgot that we were fighting. She instantly told me what happened despite the awkwardness between us.

Maybe it was to break the ice or she was already declaring truce between us.

 

Both my Mom and I were never the type of person to be mad at someone for so long especially when it came to each other. After few days of giving the cold shoulder to each other, I finally talked to her calmly trying to explain my situation or how I truly felt but she was still persistent on breaking us apart.

 

“I’m so sorry Mom…”

 

“But… I’m in love with her… Can’t you just be happy for me?”

 

“Don’t you want me to be happy?”, I sadly stated.

 

 

“Am, you know I love you more than anyone in the world, and I would give anything for you to be happy, but listen to me when I tell you that this isn’t love that you’re feeling. You’re just confused.”

 

“Luna was someone who filled the gap when you and your friends drifted apart. So it’s natural that you feel so strongly towards her; but that’s not love honey. That’s just infatuation.”, she calmly explained.

 

“Mom, I-”, just when I was about to speak she broke me off once again.

She hugged me before continuing, “Baby how can you know if you love Luna when you haven’t even had a real relationship yet.. Maybe you just have found the right guy yet.”

 

I broke away from her, “Mom, this is the happiest I’ve been since I can remember. And even if it wasn’t Luna, I think it’ll still be a girl…”

 

“Honey..”

“No Mom. C’mon, you know me more than myself. I think you probably saw this coming already.”

“Please… Just let me and Luna be… ”

 

She just nodded her head and gave me one more hug before, “I’ll think about it okay?… Now go to your room… If I remember, you’re still grounded.”

 

 

That ended our conversation, but I knew it was bound to repeat as I try to convince her about me and Luna.

 

Luna and I haven’t talked for 2 weeks, and I couldn’t visit her school because of my punishment. So I tried to talk with her though her Mom, telling me my situation and how much I missed her through a letter.

 

 

The following weekend my Mom told me that there would be visitors coming over our house. I think it was her childhood friend and her daughter about my age named Soojung.

I don’t know why I felt nervous all of a sudden.

 

Just as I was changing my clothes to get ready, I got a text from an anonymous number.

Yeah so my Mom already gave me back my phone though I was still grounded.

She’s just too nice. But hey, I’m not complaining.

 

:

 

Hey I just found out that my Mom and I will be having lunch at your place.

Let’s be cool, okay?

See you.

 

I hope this isn’t who I think it is.

As I heard the doorbell ringing I stood up to let myself out of my room. By the time I got out my Mom was already entertaining them.

To say I was shocked was an understatement. I think my mouth literally unhinged itself from my jaw.

 

Krystal Jung was inside our freaking unit.

 

 

The word for the day was beyond awkward.

Krystal and I barely talked in school yet here we are trying to be nice to each other in front of our Moms.

Who would’ve thought that she was the daughter of my Mom’s childhood best friend.

 

Just when I thought I could escape, my Mom asked me to keep her company while she and Aunt Sooyeon catch up with each other; as if their talks a while ago weren’t enough.

 

Krystal and I ended up staying in our living room; both of us not even bothering to start a conversation.

I don’t bother turning on the TV; like I wanted to for this awkward and annoying day. She’d been pretty y ever since we were left alone; like she was purposely expressing how much she’d rather be somewhere else.

Like hell I’m not.

 

“Can’t you at least turn on the TV?” She finally snapped. I guess almost an hour of screaming silence got to her.
 

“Why would I?”, I teased. Not even bothering to look at her.

 

“’Cause I can’t stand being in the same room with you let alone being in the same couch with you. It’ll distract me.”

 

Touché.

I smirked before I leaned a little closer but still having enough distance between us, “Good to know my presence really bothers you.”

 

“Augh. I beg your pardon?”, she turned to me with annoyance written in her face.

 

“Nothing.”, I smirked before standing up to go to my room.

But not before throwing her the TV remote.

 

 

I though being in my room was my escape. But I can’t help but think about how Krystal was just outside my room.

After 3 songs on my iPod I made my way back to our living room only to see empty sofas.

I searched every room before finding her standing behind our balcony door.

 

“Boo!”, I joked, but got no response but a “Sshh!”

 

“What?” I mouthed.

Just when she was about to talk she pulled me back to the living room and pushed me back down the sofa.

I was about to retort when the voices and laugher of our Moms got louder.

 

So she was eaves-dropping on them?

 

Our Moms came from outside our balcony entering the room to go straight to the kitchen. But not before forgetting to greet the both of us.

I think it wasn’t just me that gave out an awkward and forced smile.

 

After the adults were out of sight and hearing, I finally spoke.

 

“What the hell were you doing?”

 

“None of your business.” She replied while sinking more comfortably in the couch and crossing her arms.

So prissy.

 

“Were you eaves-dropping on our Moms?”

She didn’t answer but I already knew.

 

I decided to stop my interrogation up to that and just the TV.

My Mom will kill me if I left her alone so better get this over with. Though I hope they’ll won’t we staying over for dinner too.

 

I got bored after a while I saw her almost falling asleep, so I decided to by turning up the volume. It worked because it totally made her flinch in her seat.

 

“Stupid.”, I heard her mutter.

 

“.”, I faked a cough.

 

“.”, this time she didn’t bother lowering her voice down and she sure as hell made sure she was pertaining to me through her glare.

 

But I wasn’t scared of her. I just gave her a smirk before continuing, “So how’d you get my number?”

“From Sulli.”

 

I wanted to stop myself form talking to her but I was bored and curious.

 

“So you knew all along about me and my Mom?”

 

She nodded as she closed her eyes.

 

“And you never bothered to tell me?”

 

“Why would I?”

 

I shrugged before letting my mouth get to me. “’Cause we’re friends?”

 

She let out a sarcastic breath. “Last time I checked, you don’t treat your friends like .”

 

Damn.

And just when I thought the tension was disappearing, she just had to bring it up again.

 

“Sorry.”, but it came as a whisper.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Nothing.” I spoke turning my attention back to the TV.

 

 

“You know I really don’t get you.”

 

“Ditto.”, I replied lazily.

 

“Augh. And what exactly don’t you get?”

 

“Everything.”

 

I could almost feel her stare burning my skin. After a minute or so, I finally faced her. “What?”

 

I raised my eyebrow at her before she glared at me even harder; if that was even possible.

“Gimme that.”, she harshly took the remote from my hand switching the TV to the most boring channel ever.

Fashion TV.

“Augh.”, I swear I couldn’t keep myself from showing my disgust.

“I don’t wanna watch that.”

 

“Too bad.”, she mocked.

 

“C’mon. This is my house.”, I dared.

 

“I’m the guest.”, she mocked back.

 

“It’s my TV.”

 

“It’s your Mom’s.”

 

Well, technically that’s true. But still. I ended up saying nothing and just letting out a huff, crossing my arms and stomping my feet.

 

“Stupid.. You weren’t even watching the TV a while ago.”, she muttered. Somehow feeling guilty?

 

After what felt like hours she finally gave up saying, “Alright. What channel you wanna watch?”

I gave myself a smirk before trying to think of a good channel where she’d be bored as hell.

 

“Channel **.”, I said.

 

“Animal planet? Seriously?”, she asked only to get a shrug reply from me.

 

I internally laughed thinking how bored she would be but I think we ended up entertaining ourselves ‘cause what was showing was really interesting. I think it was called the ‘Jurassic era’.

 

After I while that feeling of someone watching me came back. I wanted to ignore her but I couldn’t concentrate so I snapped, “What?”

 

She gave me a look before looking at the TV and repeating that action for at least three times before she burst out laughing.

 

What the hell was funny?

 

“What the hell.”, I said to myself out loud; sort of mocking her as well.

 

“Yah.”

“Yah!”

What the hell was so damn funny? She was already holding her tummy with both of her eyes shut.

 

Just as she opened her eyes to look at me she ended up continuing her laughter.

 

I gave her a light kick on her feet before I had it and started to get up, maybe get myself a drink.

 

I ended up getting her a bottle as well.

 

Just as I came back she was already wiping her eyes. I guess it finally died down.

 

“Here.”

“Thanks.”

“What was so funny?”

I guess I should’ve made my timing before asking her a question because she almost spit her drink out.

Just when she was about to laugh again, I interrupted her with a small shove to her shoulder.

“Yah.”

 

“You really wanna know?”, she asked me through her giggle. I just gave her a look that says ‘Well, duh.’

 

She pointed her head towards the TV making me look as well.

 

“Is that why you wanted to watch this?”

 

What? Oh, the show. Actually no, I did it to spite you. But I wouldn’t let you know that.

 

“I like dinosaurs.”, I wasn’t really lying. I thought they were cool.

But what the hell was the connection? She ended up doubling her laughter, and this time it was louder.

 

“Yah. Chincha…”

 

Was she always this freaking adorable?

 

“You… them… you look… like… them…”

 

“Yah.” This girl, augh…

I can’t stand her being like this. And it was sort of funny for me to how she thought about it. I mean, I know I should be offended, but I just can’t right now.

I mean look at her. How can someone look so cute yet alluring at the same time?

I ended up laughing as well. I couldn’t take my eyes of her. And I couldn’t believe myself how I felt so attracted to her right now. But I wouldn’t actually acknowledge that.

 

 

Just as she was composing herself, our Moms came out telling their leave.

 

Finally.

 

 

After they left my Mom asked me if I had fun.

“Not bad.”

 

“What kind of answer is that?”

 

I sighed before I excused myself, “It was okay.”

 

But just as I was about to enter my room, my Mom said something which made me stop.

“Good ‘cause we’re seeing them again next weekend.”

“Mom!”

“What? You’re still grounded.”

 

I hate my life.

 

 

The week passed by with me and Krystal pretending nothing happened.

Since we were on our winter break, my Mom allowed me to go out with my friends only to return straight at home right after.

But I must admit after that weekend, it was like the tension or awkwardness between us lessened. I was back to being my normal self with my friends and same as she was.

We weren’t holding back anymore despite that we still don’t talk to each other. But things really did get better.

As for me and Luna, I really had no idea about our status. She wasn’t replying to any of my texts. Did she perhaps change her number? But I tried calling her too, but only to get her voice mail.

So I tried to sneak off after I visited my friend’s house I didn’t see her anywhere, not in any of the hang-outs she told me she went to. I tried asking her friends but they just kept mum about it.

Since I can’t do anything about it now, I just went home before my Mom got suspicious.

 

Just two more weeks and I won’t be grounded anymore. I’ll just take her out on a date till then.

 

 

 

The weekend came and I was dragged to the mall by my Mom.

“Mom, I thought we were meeting up with the Jungs?”

“Yup… Oh, where are they?”, she answered me before talking to herself.

 

“There they are.”, I told my Mom as I saw Krystal and her Mom through the window of my favourite restaurant.

 

“Sorry we’re late.”, my Mom apologized.

“We just got here as well so don’t worry.”, Aunt Sooyeon spoke before giving my Mom a kiss. Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek as well. My Mom did the same with Krystal.

Don’t tell me Krystal and I have to greet each other as well. Just as that thought came to my mind, I saw Krystal hesitating before we made eye contact. I think we were thinking the same.

 

I saw her stepping towards me, but just before she was about to maybe give me a hug, I ended up patting the top of her head which made things more awkward.

After the most awkward greeting I ever gave, I heard our Moms’ giggles.

 

“Nice to, uh, see you…”

“N-neh…”, she replied. Then after that came silence.

 

My Mom broke the ice by telling them how much I loved eating here.

Surprisingly it was also Krystal’s favourite. We made eye contact. I think it was the first time we gave each other genuine smiles; like we did it for ourselves and not for the sake of our Moms.

 

I think this time was different. Both Krystal and I joined our Moms’ conversation, actually listening to what they were saying.

It was enjoyable for the most part as we got to know our Moms’ childhood and their funny stories.

We found out that they lost contact and only saw each other for the first time again when they met in school.

So Krystal and I were actually the bridge.

 

 

After we ate lunch our Moms wanted hang out some more so they suggested that we watch a movie.

Krystal and I ended up watching a movie separate from our Moms because they wanted to watch that boring adult film about who knows what.

 

Since I got nothing better to do and rather than leaving Krystal alone I agreed.

 

“What movie you wanna watch?”, I asked her as we were left alone. They gave us lots of money so might as well splurge on the junk food too.

“Hmm.. How about that movie with cars?”

“Really? You wanna watch that?”

 

“Arasso.”, it was actually perfect for me because that’s the movie I wanted to watch.

 

After buying the tickets, we went to the snack bar.

“So what do you want?”

 

“What? You mean that’s just yours?”, she asked in disbelief as she saw the big bucket of popcorn and extra-large soda I was holding.

I nod my head in reply.

“Oh my God.” I heard her mutter under her breath.

 

“What? I’m a growing teen.”, I combatted.

 

“Whatever… Just get me some juice and a chocolate chip. I’m not that much into junk food.”

What am I your servant?

I bit my tongue and just swallowed my annoyance.

It’s for our Moms so we need to get along. I spoke repeatedly in my head.

 

 

The moment the movie started playing, we just immersed ourselves in it.

But I can’t help but glance at her. She really looked interested in the movie. Who knew the Krystal Jung liked this kind of movie.

I offered her my popcorn.

 

Halfway through the movie I realized I don’t have anything to munch on anymore so I took my bucket away from her. It shocked me how it was almost empty.

Not into junk food my .

 

 

The screen was so bright after that big explosion. I moved my glance toward Krystal and saw her in awe of what happened.

Cute. I thought.

It was then I noticed her shivering.

I didn’t know she was cold.

 

As much as I wanted to keep my jacket for myself I wasn’t that bad to keep her from being warm, so I handed her my jacket.

She tried to refuse my I just placed it in her lap before muttering to leave for another bucket of popcorn.

After buying more snacks I gave the chocolate chip I bought for her and a bottle of water. She didn’t refuse this time which made me smile.

 

 

After what had happened I lost interest in the movie and just ended up watching her.

Back then I didn’t realize what was happening. But I knew now that that was the exact moment I started feeling something different towards her.

 

We met our Moms outside the theatre. They asked us how the movie was but it looked like both of us had nothing to say.

 

“It was great.”, I finally spoke. I wasn’t lying. I did find the movie interesting, though I didn’t understand the last part as much.

 

 

 

 

“Augh… I think my arms will probably fall off if we didn’t leave any sooner.”

“You’re exaggerating Am.”

My Mom told me as we entered our apartment.

 

“So typical of girls and shopping.”, I muttered while placing all the shopping bags on top of our table.

“C’mon Am, this is nothing compared to the Jungs’.”, my Mom teased which made me laugh.

 

Today was really interesting; from our lunch, to the movie, and even going shopping. I can even say it was one of the most memorable days I’ve had.

 

I covered my face with both of my hands as I thought of what happened when we went shopping.

 

FLASHBACK:

I noticed my Mom taking advantage of our situation. I guess since I was never really the girly-type. She’s never experienced buying me clothes and dressing me up. I thought it was cute how she and Aunt both picked clothes for Krystal and asking her to try it in front of them. Though it looked fun, it wasn’t really my style. But I can tell Krystal was enjoying it.

How typical.

 

They made her try on everything, from pants to dresses and even those cute printed PJs.

I wanted to take a picture of her when she wore those cute PJs with pink dinosaurs but I had to restrain myself because that’ll be weird.

 I wasn’t really bored per say ‘cause it was entertaining for me for the most part. But after a while and moving on from store to store, I got bored.

I saw Krystal glancing at me from time to time before I saw her whispering something to her Mom. Then I saw Aunt whispering something to my Mom which sort of made me nervous.

When we got to a new store Aunt Sooyeon asked me if I wanted to try some clothes on and even offered to pay for it. I was about to reply when my Mom beat me to it saying, “Don’t hold your breath Sica, Amber will never in a million years try on the type of clothes you pick.”

As if that wasn’t enough my mom continued to tease me some more, “As you can see she dresses more like a son.”

“Mommy!”, I bit my lower lip as I realized what I’d just said.

Aunt Sooyeon gave me a grin, while I got a raised eyebrow from both my Mom and Krystal but the latter had this wicked grin.

I sigh and declared, “I’m out of here.” Only to be pulled at the back of my hoodie by my Mom.

“Oh no you’re not. If I remember you’re still grounded for two weeks.”

I couldn’t help but stomp my feet as I moved away from them. I went to the part of the store where they had some shades on display and I quickly put some aviators on.

I can still feel their attention to me so I turned to them but I only paid my attention on my Mom as I stuck my tongue out to her.

I heard them laughing before they went onto their own business.

 

After a while I joined them, sitting at the bench near the dressing rooms.

I saw Krystal’s mom holding a cool denim jacket. It’s not really as girly aside from the polka dots, but it looked cool enough; still though, it wasn’t my style.

We left the store, but my Mom ended up buying me a new shirt. It wasn’t girly but more of a uni-style.

 

The next store we went to had all these cute jackets and hoodies. I saw Krystal going to a particular corner of the store while our Moms went together to look at some winter jackets.

Just the same, I just sat at the dressing room benches looking bored.

I was playing with my phone until I heard our Moms giggles. As I was about to look at them, I got pulled up by my Mom before she handed me some jacket and pushed me inside the dressing room.

“That was a bit too much Yuri-ah.”, I heard Aunt Sooyeon saying outside the dressing room.

“Nah, she’s a tough kid. She can take it.”, I heard my Mom saying. I gave out a sarcastic breath before removing my own jacket and wearing the one that my Mom handed to me.

 

The dressing room was dark since I didn’t bother to open the light switch it wasn’t until I stepped outside did I realize what I was wearing. I hate the fact that I also didn’t bother checking out the jacket first before I wore it.

 

I heard their giggles doubling as I see Krystal to my side having come out of her own dressing room.

 

Aish! These ahjummas!

 

Krystal was wearing a Pikachu hoodie while I was wearing a Charmander hoodie.

Damn. Talk about embarrassing. As if that wasn’t enough, we also stole the attention of some of the shoppers making them giggle or smile at us as well.

“Omo! We should take a pic!”, my Mom dumbly suggested. I so hate you right now Mom.

 “Am, come on, move closer to Soojung!”, Aunt Sooyeon suggested. I had no choice but to obey since I don’t wanna be disrespectful.

 

I looked at Krystal wanting to complain why she hasn’t said anything yet despite the embarrassing situation we’re in. But she only had her head bowed, and I can see how red her face was. I guess she was more embarrassed than me.

 

“Come on you guys, smile for the picture!”, my Mom repeated. I gave her a few seconds of my glare before giving up.

I ended up removing my cap and bringing the hood up, wanting to cover my face; but it came back to bite me in the when our Moms started shrieking how even cuter it was.

I palmed my face how stupid I was to forget what I was wearing.

Of course it’ll be cuter with the hood up.

Stupid Amber!

 

“Ddungdungie! Raise your hood up too!”, Aunt Sooyeon just had to suggest.

And what’s up with these ajhummas aegyos?! It’s making me wanna barf. Augh!

 

When Krystal still wasn’t raising her hood up, I did it for her just so we could get this over with.

We ended up posing with our heads bent down.

 

“Oh c’mon you guys! Smile at the camera!”, my Mom gleefully forced.

I gave out a huge breath trying to it up as I made eye contact with Krystal. We both looked up at the same time trying so hard not to give forced-looking smiles.

I thought it was over until my Mom suggested another stupid idea.

“You guys look like you’re in pain! Make it look like you’re having fun! C’mon, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. You guys look so darn cute!”

At this point I was internally crying inside. It was one of those moments where I feel I can literally die in embarrassment.

“The faster you guys do this, the sooner you can get out of those hoodies!”, Aunt Sooyeon spoke through her giggles.

I placed my right hand on top of Krystal’s shoulder and gave a peace sign with my left hand.

The last thing I saw was the flash of the camera before I got back inside the dressing room in a hurry.

 

But darn it, I freaking took Krystal with me! And now I realize how cramped we were in this tiny dressing room.

I gave out a fake cough before I apologized for what I did.

She just gave me a nod before she started lowering the zipper as I realized what she was doing, I quickly turned around.

 

“You can look now.”

I wanted to hit myself because I realized she was still wearing her shirt inside the jacket.

Now I made myself look like a ert for thinking she was wearing nothing underneath it.

 

I had to cool myself inside the dressing room after she left.

 

“Amber! Faster! We have to pay for your jackets!” , I heard my Mom screaming from outside.

 

She took the jacket from me as she and Aunt Sooyeon made their way towards the counter. Krystal and I just tagged along behind them.

I think I heard my Mom offering to pay for both of the jackets, saying that it was her gift to Krystal. But what caught my ear was the word ‘daughter-in-law’.

 

I turned to look at Krystal only to see she had her head bowed down.

I ended up looking back to our Moms and seeing them teasing each other which made me smile for no reason.

 

Maybe I just heard wrong.

 

[end of FLASHBACK]

 

I made my way to my room and saw that my Mom already placed every shopping bag that was mine. She ended up buying me: a cap and a beanie, two new pairs of socks, 2 t-shirts and two jackets.

I guess we did buy a lot.

 

Wait a minute. Two jackets?

I thought we only bought that pokemon jacket?

 

I took out the other jacket and found a denim-style jacket.

I think this is Krystal’s.

I went out of my room to show my Mom the jacket.

“Ma, I think we took Krystal’s jacket by mistake.”

“Chincha?”, she asked as she too was fixing the things that she bought.

“Look.”, I showed her the jacket.

Maybe it was my Mom’s? This would really look big on Krystal.

 

“Oh, that’s yours baby.”

“Huh?”

“I bought that for you.”

“But..”, I looked at the jacket and thought that it wasn’t exactly my style.

Though it didn’t have any polka dots, it was plain and was more blue than what Krystal had bought I don’t think it’ll fit me.

“Since it’s getting colder I thought that I could buy you a new jacket, and not one that’s a hoodie-type.”

She explained when she didn’t get any response from me.

“C’mon, it’s cute. I was thinking you could just place it over your hoodies.”

I thought about it and it did work.

Maybe Aunt Sooyeon and Krystal had something to do about it.

 

 

I won’t be grounded anymore by the time school starts and this made my mood. Maybe I can see her again.

I thought about Luna and how I missed her. But I didn’t notice how much I forgot about her over the break because of hanging out with my friends and Krystal and her Mom. Over the remaining weeks of our Christmas break, they would sometimes have dinner at our place or me and my Mom would go to theirs.

It was weird though; sometimes our Moms would want to bond and be alone so they would either throw us out of the house or they would leave us alone in the house. Our Mom’s would joke about it and call it a ‘play-date’ between me and Krystal; kinda like how parents would leave their little kids alone with other kids to play with.

 

It was really strange, but we never really questioned it. I guess maybe our Mom’s just missed each other a lot. Now that they got each other to hang out with we just let them be ‘cause we know how hard they work and how they don’t have any more time to have fun for themselves.

 

 

I never realized how there was so many things in common between me and Krystal.

Turns out Aunt Sooyeon was also a single parent. Though I never knew my Dad or why he wasn’t around as I was growing up (for reasons my Mom still haven’t told me) I guess I was still lucky. Since he wasn’t always around I never had to bear the pain of losing him, Krystal had to bear her Dad dying when she was 12. I couldn’t imagine how painful that must have been.

 

 

I was about to doze off when I heard the door bell ringing.

“Mom!”

I shouted since I never really close the door to my room.

“I’m busy!”, she shouted back.

Augh. It’s not my fault if she let go of our 2 house helpers. Now she had to clean the house and cook for us.

She told me it was to help us grow. And that we shouldn’t be dependent on other people to do our own work for us.

Hell I would.

I know I sound like a spoiled brat, but I know the real reason behind it was so she can finally get rid of any connection between me and Luna.

I know it’ll probably take her another month to realize how hard it is to not have any help around. I mean she does work 8 hours a day and to add to that our house chores would eventually tire her out.

 

Let’s just say I’m letting her taste her own medicine.

 

“Amber!”

“Alright, alright!”, I shouted back as I made my way to the living room before opening the door.

 

“What the-”

“Is that Soojung?”, my Mom’s shout from the kitchen interrupted me.

“Yeah!”, I replied back.

 

“Well, are you going to let me in or not?”

 

“Yeah, come in.”, I spoke breathlessly.

“Are you staying over?”, I asked in disbelief.

 

“You sound like it’s a bad thing?”

 

“Well, seeing the amount of luggage I have with me. I think that answers your question.”

“O-kay?”, I stuttered.

 

“Hon, Soojung’s staying over for a week!”, my Mom spoke. She sounded so hyped up too as she made her way to us and giving Krystal a hug and a peck on her cheek.

 

“That long?!”, I was surprised but I think it came out the wrong way.

“What?!”, both my Mom and Krystal spoke.

 

“Uh, nothing… It’s just, how come? I mean, don’t you guys have any relatives here?”, I asked.

 

It wasn’t so much that I was disappointed. More on I was nervous, because this was my territory and to have Krystal over stepping this boundary, this wall between us would be hard for me. Why it would be hard I still don’t know. But it confuses me.

Then again my confusion always comes with Krystal Jung.

 

“Well, for starters, your Aunt Sica’s attending a week-long conference in Jeju and I think you forgot that they came from the States too so they don’t have any family near-by.“

”Your Aunt just couldn’t afford to leave her alone for one week or entrust Krystal with a stranger, so I offered our home!”, my Mom explained only to get a nod from me.

 

“C’mon it’ll be fun! You guys are friends right? This’ll help you develop your relationship, I mean, like, this will bring you guys closer… err, get to know each other more.”

“Plus, it’ll be fun for me too! I’d finally feel what it’s like to have to take care of a daughter.”

My Mom spoke so quick as she ended her speech with a wide grin. The last part she said made me forget about that comment about me and Krystal’s relationship.

“Yah! What am I a dog?”, I retorted.

“Oh you get what I mean!”, she teased before she continued.

“Now I’ll finally get to experience what it’s like to raise a daughter and a son!”, my Mom excitedly said. She was too hyper. But then again, this is my Mom I’m talking about.

“Mom!”, I retorted only to get ‘Shh-ed’.

 

“Now hurry up and help Soojung with her stuff. She’ll be staying with you.”

“What?!”, it made me stop in my tracks.

“But why? Isn’t that what the guest rooms are for?!”, I complained not liking this set-up.

 

“I’m-I’m having them renovated.”, my Mom spoke.

“Our TWO guest rooms? Why?!”

“’Cause I don’t like the paint and what they look like anymore, okay?!”

“But you’re the one who designed our condo!”, I retorted.

“Yah! Do you not want me to finish our dinner?!”

I know that kind of tone from my Mom already means serious business.

 

“Anniyo…”, I replied with my head down.

 

“Then, stop with the questions and just do what I say.”

 

I gave a sigh as I grabbed both of Krystal’s suitcases.

 

“We’re having bulgogi and ddukbokki by the way.”, my Mom said as she made her way back the kitchen.

 

 

“After you.”

“You can place the rest of your stuff over there.” I continued seeing she still had a carry-on.

 

“Yo.” I said wanting to get her attention. This girl really looked like she was on a daze. But the weird thing was she looked so adorable because she had this grin on her face.

 

Augh. What am I even saying?

 

She sat at the foot of my bed while I sat in my desk chair.

I looked at my room. It was big enough for us; even big enough for 4 people. But this was my space, so you can’t exactly blame me for being uncomfortable about this.

 

“What time’s dinner?”, she asked me looking like a puppy with its wagging tail.

 

Then it hit me. After all those times we hung out I finally realized something.

Krystal Jung’s weakness.

“Do you perhaps like beef?”, I asked in bewilderment only to get three nods from her.

“Ddukbokki?”, I asked again.

 

“Neh.”

 

So freaking adorable.

 

This definitely made me laugh.

 

“What’so funny?”

 

“Nothing... C’mon. I think dinner’s done.”

 

 

Dinner was almost done when we got there. But it was a good thing ‘cause we were able to help my Mom so we didn’t have to wait long.

Man that girl could eat meat.

 

 

As days passed by, Krystal and I still had this barrier around us, but I can feel it slowly breaking.

It was always fun and loud with her staying with us.

Days would be spent with our friends hanging out with us. They now know about Krystal’s situation and our Moms. To say they were shock was an understatement.

They just couldn’t believe it. Krystal and I were the last people they thought would be living under one roof. I guess they did have a clue about what’s been going on between us; but only the surface detail of us not getting along and rest and everything that’s happened- no clue.

 

Nights would be spent having dinner with my Mom and the both of them always trying to tag team me.

I found out that Krystal was a good cook too and a great baker. Her cookies and brownies were the best. And with her cooking for us, I think it won’t be long ‘til I feel my clothes start to tighten.

Ever since she came, I officially became the dishwasher. I mean, with her always helping around the house and sometimes cooking for us I think it made me ashamed of how lazy I was.

I can’t believe how efficient she was around the house and how kind and hard-working she was.

 

Okay, I need to stop myself. I’m officially giving her complement after complement.

 

I need to be level-headed.

Focus Amber.

She invaded your space and stole your bed. ‘Cause of her you are now sleeping in a not so comfortable futon and you’re forced to do chores.

 

Okay so the last part wasn’t true. I did it for myself and for my Mom. It was embarrassing to be the only one not doing anything helpful.

 

 

“Yah.”

“Hey Stupid!”

 

“What?”, she totally broke me away from my thoughts.

“It’s done.”

 

She and I were asked by my Mom to do laundry. I honestly didn’t know how to, but I kept mum about it. Good thing she didn’t ask me any questions and just ordered me around.

So bossy… Or maybe she did know that I was clueless about these things. But hey, I’m thankful she didn’t say anything.

 

 

“Oh my God.” I heard her say.

“What? What’s wrong?”, Damn. I need to stop zooning out. I was never like this.

 

“Look.”

“Yeah, so?”

“It’s all grey!”

“I know!”

“It’s grey!!”

“Stop shouting! They obviously are!”

 

“You stop shouting.” This time she spoke softly, but her pout still gave it away.

I could only bite my lip in response to her remark.

 

“We have a problem… She searched for something inside the laundry basket to find a black sock mixed in with everything.”

“Oh my God.”, she expressed while looking at me. It was then I finally realized what she meant.

All of our white shirts were now grey.

“My Mom’s gonna kill us.”

“Us? You mean she’s gonna kill YOU.”

 

“You’re an accomplice. So it’s just right that you get in trouble too.”

“Besides, I didn’t even know how to do laundry until now. So technically… this was all your fault.”

“But this is YOUR sock and YOU sorted out everything.”, she combated.

“I asked you to do ONE thing, ONE thing. And you messed it up.”

I was about to retort, but it was like something caught my tongue.

 

God, when was this dominating?

And when did I start being dominated?

 

Good thing I was able to straighten my thoughts before I was caught zoning out again.

“Still though… your responsible for everything.”, I spoke before I left her there.

 

“Yah, Amber Liu!”

 

 

 

My Mom doubled in laughter when she found out what happened. Though she was a bit disappointed how we made our shirts grey, it wasn’t something to make a fuss about.

Now, these are the times I think about how cool my Mom can be.

She didn’t punish us, but I did get a lot of teasing from the two of them, pin-pointing that it was my fault.

Geez. Always being tagged-teamed by those two!

 

 

Krystal and I never really interacted seriously. We would always be joking around each other or would just be watching movies or TV, throwing some side comments here and there. Even when we’re doing chores, we do it quietly without talking; with the occasional ‘bossing-around’ I got from her.

But I guess it sort of my own fault from being clueless about house chores.

 

Going to bed, we’d just be saying our good nights and that was it.

I guess that was the barrier that I was talking about us. Every time that it would be just the two us, there would be this awkwardness where neither of us bothered to break. Neither of us tried to start the conversation.

I smiled to myself how silly it was. I mean, what would we even talk about and where do we start?

It’s very easy to say, but once you’re there you’d always end up or at least, I always end up being tongue-tied.

 

 

It was the 5^th night of her stay. I kept turning around in my self-made bed.

This isn’t really working for me and it’s already taking its toll on my back.

 

 I went up and tried to sneak off to my Mom’s room, asking if I can sleep beside her; but she rejected me saying my bed was big enough for me and Krystal to share.

 

As much as I force myself next to her, I always get kicked or pushed over.

God, why is she so stubborn?

And it was a king-bed, even bigger than mine!

I tried pulling her off the bed, like what she does to me when I refuse to get out of bed, but she got a good grip on the head board.

Augh. Why is she so heavy?

Then I had an idea. Since I’d still be sleeping on the floor there not much difference if I sleep in my room, so I took out the extra futon my Mom had inside her room. I also took some of the pillows she wasn’t using.

Just before I was about to doze off my Mom’s voice got me up.

“Yah! What are you still doing here?!”, she kicked me.

“Sleeping.”, I answer not budging from my spot and kicking back.

“Yah. Do you want me to extend your punishment to 2 months? Oh and I can also take back your phone privileges.”

 

“Mom!” I sat up instantly.

“What?”

“You’re being unreasonable!”

“So?”

“What do you mean so? You’re such a power-tripper! This is child abuse!” I sat up.

 

“Ow!”

She hit me! Augh. And hard too…

 

“First, you’re exaggerating. Second, I have the right to be. I’m your Mother.”

“But,that’s not a good reason!”, I spoke while lying down again.

“Well I do own everything around here and I pay the bills. So unless you start paying rent.. Get out!”

She pointed towards the door.

 

“I hate you…”

 

“Love you too!”, was the last thing I heard before getting out of the room.

 

Aish. That ahjumma…

Why does she want me to stay in my room so bad anyway?

Ah, so frustrating.

 

 

I went back to my room hesitating if I should really sleep here or if it was better if I just slept at the living room couch.

 

I think I woke Krystal up because she called my name.

 

“Amber?”

“Yeah?”

“You can’t sleep?’’

“Anni…”, after replying I was interrupted by my yawn. I am sleepy it’s just that I don’t want my back to hurt anymore and aside from that I’m not really comfortable with her sleeping so close to me.

But I’m certainly not gonna to tell her that.

 

I think she saw me rubbing my back and offered me to sleep beside her. I hesitated and thought about it, but I guess my need for sleeping in a comfortable bed conquered at the moment.

 

“Is it okay if I sleep with you?”, I asked through my yawn.

Even if she didn’t reply, I already plopped myself on the empty side of the bed.

 

The last thing I heard of before I finally drifted off sleep was:

“Good night Am.”

I don’t know if I even bothered to reply.

It’s been too long since I’ve slept in something comfortable.

 

 

The next night was exactly the same. She offered the other side of the bed again which ended up me teasing her because it was my bed after all.

 

That night was something unforgettable for me.

 

Someone finally broke the barrier.

Surprisingly, it was her.

 

“Am.. Amber?”

“Hmm?”

“Are we.. are we friends?”

“Uh, yeah… Why wouldn’t we be?”

 

She stayed quiet. “’Cause, I thought... I thought you hated me…”

 

“Did I ever say that?” I turned to her, but she was still looking at the ceiling.

 

Letting out a breath she spoke, “You didn’t.. but you made me feel like it.”

 

“I mean, if I were to recall you were the one who said that you hated me.”, I , but then again I remembered she was drunk that time.

“I did?”

I nodded.

 

“When?”

 

“You were drunk that time. And I helped you get to bed.”

I told her though I don’t need to tell her the rest. But remembering what happened made my heart weak.

“ ’Cause you make me care so much!... about.. about you!”

 

 

“If I did… I just want you to know I didn’t mean it…”, she tried to explain.

 

Then I realized that all along, it was actually me who built the wall between us.

 

 

“I’m sorry…”

This time she finally faced me.

 

“I’m sorry with how cold.. and mean.. I acted towards you.”

I looked up to stare at the ceiling, still feeling her gaze on me, “You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”

 

“I forgive you…”, she said while giving me a small smile.

Seeing that made me feel like I didn’t deserve her forgiveness that soon.

 

“But, before I do… Can I at least know why you acted that way?”

I let out my own breath before giving her a sympathetic smile, “Then I guess you won’t be forgiving me after all, ‘cause I honestly don’t know how to answer your question.”

She got into a more comfortable position by facing her whole body towards me and leaning her head in her hand.

“That’s impossible, there’s always a reason.”, she said playing with the covers.

I nodded my head sideways. “I’m sorry.. There isn’t… I don’t know how, when, or why but… I just do. I mean, I did… I don’t know why I just had to act like around you… I really don’t.”

 

“But there has to be…”

“Is there?”

“Sometimes things just happen without any reason right? Like how we do things, because we just have to… Like how we love our Moms just because we do… Right? Sometimes, you don’t always need any reason…”

We stayed quiet for a moment.

 

She let out a huge breath, “Though I still can’t understand… It’ll be useless if I’d still hold onto it… So, water under the bridge…”

 

“What?”

 

“I still forgive you.”, she spoke before giving me that genuine smile.

 

A smiled back in return; no need for words.

 

I felt something warm grabbing my hand.

“Truce?”, she offered.

 

“Truce.”, I smiled wider as I tightened our hold.

 

 

 

That night the wall was finally broken. We ended up staying till early morning telling stories about our family and in a way, showing who we are.

 

The next day, despite having to wake up late, we had a good time. I ended up helping her prepare our afternoon lunch before we spent the day playing video games; teasing and playfully challenging each other.

 

I think my Mom noticed how close we were because we continued to play and tease each other while preparing for dinner and cleaning up afterwards.

“I’m going to hit the bed early you guys. Good night… Oh, and try not to stay up so late okay? Tomorrow will be Krystal’s last day with us.”

 

I frowned as I heard that. I looked at her and she was too, but tried to hide it as she saw me looking at her. Somehow, I knew her smile was fake.

 

As much as possible I tried to make the situation light by starting up playful banters even up to the point where we had to wrestle with each other.

We ended up panting as we fell down the bed.

She was still laughing and I didn’t realize I was watching her until she flicked my nose.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

 

“Am, are we friends now?”, she playfully asked, laying down on her belly.

“Nope.”, I teased as I flicked her nose back.

She pouted at me which made me giggle.

“Stop that.”

“What?”

“That.”

“I’m not doing anything… Buing, buing!”

I guess she got what I mean as she teased me more with her aegyo.

Damn.

“Oh God. Don’t ever do that again!”, I said through my laughter.

 

“What? This? Buing-buing, buing-buing, buing-buing!”

“Augh! Stop it. You’re giving me the creeps.”

 

 “As if… I know you think I’m cute! Buing-buing!”

“Stop it!”, I said through my giggle.

 But she continued to pest me even moving closer while doing the hand movement that goes with her aegyo.

“Yah, you wanna die?”

“Arasso, I’ll stop now.”, she spoke after her laughs.

 

“So are we friends or not?”, she asked me again.

 

“Absolutely no-”

Just when I was about to finish she already got on her aegyo stance, “Buing-”

“NEH!”, I screamed, making the both of us laugh once again.

 

“To be honest…”, I said through my giggle.

“I think it’s more than that now… Like…”

I paused for a moment. Thinking how I was going to say it.

“Like what?”, she questioned. Ever the impatient princess.

I let out a smile before looking in her direction.

“Like… best friends…”

“I mean, the time we spent together… You probably know more about me than all of our friends added together.”

“Even Sulli?”

I nodded.

“Vic-unnie?”

I nodded once again.

“Key-oppa? Minho-oppa?”

“NEH!”, I said playfully while moving my face close to hers making us giggle.

 

Why I think so, ‘cause it was the truth. I told her everything I felt; even my situation with Luna. It didn’t surprise me how she took it well. I mean, from the start I could tell she was okay with those kinds of things seeing as she treated one of our friends who was gay with no bias or what.

 

After we stayed in comfortable silence, I look at the time only to realize how late it was.

I got up and removed the covers form my bed, indicating that I wanted to sleep already and she nodded.

 

“Hey Am, have I told you I’ve always wanted an unnie?”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned that last night.”, I smiled at her.

“Then can you grant me this request?”

“What?”

What she did not only surprised me, but made my heart thump. She moved closer and gave me a hug.

I was stunned and didn’t know what to do, but after a while my hand s itself around her thin frame.

 

She felt so fragile.

I mean, after knowing all these things about her. She really is fragile.

I smiled at the thought of how her name perfectly suits her.

 

“I guess… This is how having… a… a-an unnie hug you…”, she whispered.

 

 

“Am, can we stay like this ‘til I fall asleep?”, she whispered before getting a nod from me.

 

 

I ended up falling asleep late. I mean how could I when I have her in my arms? Never in my life did I see this happening.

I couldn’t sleep because of my thoughts which kept popping in my head. I mean, how did we get from disliking each other to being best friends or… even sisters…

 

Sisters.

Somehow, hearing that word made my heart tug.

 

 

I woke up late.

I saw Krystal already watching some TV while I made my way towards the kitchen.

 

“I ordered some take out. There’s still some in the microwave for you to eat.”

 

We spent the day with each other, but it wasn’t like any other day spent with her.

I wouldn’t say it was awkward, but then again, I’d also be lying.

 

“You okay?”, she asked me. I realized I haven’t spoken a word since I got out of my room.

But I ended up nodding my head.

 

After a while I felt her repeating what she did last night; only this time, we were sitting at the couch.

 “Why did you wake up so late? I was soo bored…”, she pouted. This time I didn’t hesitate to place my arm around her.

I didn’t realize I was smiling the whole time.

“Am?”, she looked up.

 

“Uh, yeah?”, I fake a cough as I looked away from her stare.

She broke away only to bring her hand up to touch my forehead.

“Gosh, you’re warm.”

“Are you sick?”

I nodded my head sideways.

“Do you wanna watch something scary?”, I spoke to change the topic.

 

She looked at me weirdly but nodded her head nonetheless.

 

We spent the whole day watching horror movies, until we had to prepare dinner.

 

I thought it was only right to use the premium beef my Mom bought for a special occasion. I mean it was Krystal’s last day, tomorrow will be our first day of school since break and the day she’ll be leaving.

 

“Woah. Something smells good!”, my Mom expressed as she got home.

She gave us both as pat on the head as she sat herself down.

“So what’s for dinner my little iron chefs?”, she joked.

I rolled my eyes at her before I placed down the grilled beef and lettuce leaves since all the other side dishes were already prepared by Krystal.

“We used some of the beef you had in stock Aunt Yuri. I hope that’s fine with you.”, Krystal said respectfully.

“I mean, I thought it was appropriate since this’ll be Krystal’s last day with us.”

“Anni… It’s actually perfect because I have some good news.. Well, it’s also bad, but I think the good news trumps the bad one.”

“Just spit it out Mom.”, I teased only to get hit at the back of my head.

“Your Mom, Sica’s conference got extended. She’ll have to stay for two more days. So you’ll be stuck with this llama for two more days!”, my Mom teased making Krystal laugh.

“Oh, and it’s Emboo’s last day of being grounded.”, my Mom spoke giving me a pat on the head.

 

I must say, it was the first time I tried so hard not to smile but it wasn’t the fact that I wasn’t grounded anymore.

 

“Hey Am, are you happy that I get to stay with you for two more days?”, she spoke as she got into our cuddling position.

“No comment.”, I teased.

“Ow!”

“She gave me a strong pinch on my hips.”

“I was kidding.”

“Of course.”

 

Even if I can’t see her, I know that she’s smiling.

 

“You know as get used to cuddling with you I realize you’re not so much as an unnie; more like I’m hugging an oppa.”

 

“Why you…”, I thought she was going to say something serious so I ended up tickling or wrestling her to put it in other terms. But this time she had the upper hand as she was able to push me off the bed.

“I am an unnie FYI. It’s not my fault I look so handsome.”

 

“Amber-oppa!”

“Amber-oppa!”

“You’re so handsome Amber-oppa!”, she kept on teasing like she was a fan.

I don’t know what happened by I somehow ended up speechless and blushing.

I wanted to kick myself because I know she’ll only tease me more, so I just went under the covers of the bed and hid my face on the pillows.

“OMG! The llama-prince is blushing!”

This made me smile before thinking of a way to retort.

“Hi-yah!”

I hit her head with a pillow.

“Yah.”

Her look made my throat dry.

 

“Get ready to die you llama!”

 

Oh god, this was so childish. But who cares?

 

We ended up panting like hell before she let out a yawn.

“I’m sleepy.”

“Well, sleep princess.”, I said as I stood up to turn off the lights and open the small lampshade beside my bed.

“Good night Amber-llama-oppa.”, she spoke.

I can’t help but laugh with all the nicknames she keeps giving me.

“Night, night princess.”

 

Something felt weird, I was so sleepy but it was like I couldn’t sleep. Like something was missing.

I looked to my right to see the thin frame of a sleeping princess.

 

Should I?

 

Friends, do this right? Sisters do this?

There it was again, that word which tugs my heart. But this time, I force myself that it was the only way for me to this.

 

I gave her a back hug.

 

Right before I was about to doze off I felt her facing me, placing her head at the crook of my neck. I felt a small but gentle pressure under my chin; though it gave me a tingling feeling, I didn’t bother about it.

“Night Am.”

 

 

My Mom told me to protect Krystal on our way home from school.

As if I didn’t need any protection myself. I’m still a girl Mom! Augh.

 

“That’s ‘cause you look like an oppa!”, Krystal teased me as I pretended to sulk with what my Mom said as we were walking to school.

 

“Hey Am, I have track practice after school so you don’t need to wait up for me.”

“Okay.”

“By the way, Sulli texted me if you wanna hang out later. I told her I had practice but maybe you would want to.”

“I can’t I’m ground-”

Wait. I’m not grounded anymore am I?

I think I got used to being grounded for so long that I forgot about my freedom.

But then it hit me.

 

Luna.

 

I buried that thought away, feeling more excited about my freedom.

“Wohoo! I’m not grounded anymore!”, I spoke sprinting towards the school.

 

“Yah! Wait for me you llama!”

 

 

I texted Luna that I wanted to see her after school; but like any other texts of mine, I got no reply.

 

Dismissal time came and I passed on hanging out with my friends and told them I got something else to do. Krystal shrugged when I heard our friends asking her.

Though I didn’t tell her where I was going, I think she knew.

 

 

I waited outside Luna’s school only to be told by her friends that she left early.

 

I was really disappointed. I didn’t really wanna go home yet, but as I saw the time I figured I should just go back to school and wait for Krystal.

It was starting to get really cold so I looked inside my backpack to find my extra jacket. But it bummed me out to see the Charmander jacket.

I could imagine my Mom grinning as she planned for me to see this in my back pack. Right before Krystal and I were about to leave she told us that she placed extra jackets and snacks at the bottom of our bags in case it gets colder or if we get hungry.

 

I bit my lips and tried to swallow the fact of how embarrassing this will be. But my need for warmth was stronger at the moment.

 

 

I saw someone with a Pikachu hoodie walking towards the gate, it wasn’t ‘til I got a good look of the person that I realized it was Krystal.

“Yah! What the heck are you wearing?!”, I shouted as I jogged towards her.

“Bwoh?”, she answered. But what surprised me was how cold she sounded.

I thought she would be wearing her track uniform but she was back to wearing our school uniform.

I was a bit disappointed, she knew better than to wear a skirt in this cold weather.

But I realized why. It was because she had this huge bloody gauze on her left knee. I guess it’ll be uncomfortable for her to wear pants or track pants with this wound.

I didn’t hesitate to kneel to take a better closer at it. I accidentally poked it with my finger causing her to scream and hit me at the side of my shoulder.

I ignored the pain and looked up to meet her annoyed gaze.

“What happened?”

“It’s nothing.”

I let out a breath before I stood back up.

“C’mon. Let’s just go home.” I knew better than to force her so I just let her be.

Not even a block away from school I noticed her limping so I stopped walking and kneeled down in front of her to offer my back.

It was the right thing to do in this situation.

“‘C’mon get on.”

I can see her hesitating.

“I’m not getting up until you place yourself on my back.”

I hear her sigh before she wrapped her arms around me. I pretended to sway a bit.

“God, you’re heavy!”

But she just retorted by hitting me at the back of my head.

“Am not.”

Though I couldn’t see her, I knew she was pouting and it made me smile.

 

“Why are you wearing this?”, she asked me pertaining to the jacket.

“Why are YOU?”, I asked back.

We both laughed at my Mom’s immaturity. It had a good though behind it, but it was still a prank nonetheless.

 

“Hey Krys, what happened?”

“This is nothing.”

“You don’t call that nothing idiot.”

“Ow!”, a pinch to my ear. Okay totally deserved that for calling her an idiot.

 

“I got distracted, okay?”, she whispered. But with our heads being this close, I heard it loud and clear.

 

“Why?” I asked, trying to look at her face, but she hid it at the back of my neck.

“Can we not talk about this anymore?”, she sighed.

 

I let out my own sigh, “Arasso princess.”

 

 

“Hey Am.”

“Yeah?”

I felt a bright flash of light.

 

She took a picture of us.

“Hey, I wasn’t ready.”

 

I stopped my tracks and asked her to take it once again.

 

“Cute!”

“I’m making this as your caller ID!”, she excitedly said.

Geez, the jacket made us look like a couple.

 

 But the jacket suddenly reminded me.

 

“Krys, can you get off for a second?”

I stopped walking and placed her down gently.

I removed my jacket and tied it around her waist; to protect her legs from the cold and from unwanted eyes.

 

“What are you doing?”

“It’s cold… plus we don’t know if someone’s walking behind us.”

 

“Get on.”

 

I don’t know why I did that or why I felt so protective of her. But ever since the night our barriers broke, I just did.

It was something I consistently felt towards her.

I wanted to protect her. Not just now, but for as long as I can.

 

 

“Aren’t you cold Am?”, she spoke softly.

“I have you to keep me warm.”, I replied looking at her.

 

She gave me a peck on my cheek. It was like the longest peck I’ve ever gotten; well, on my cheek.

As if I wasn’t already warm in this situation, she just had to do that.

 

Now I feel my face warming up too.

 

Immediately after that, I felt her tightening her hold on me.

“Thanks Am.”

 

“For what?”

“For this.. for everything…”

 

“We’re friends right?”

 

 

I don’t know why it took her a while to answer but she said yes nonetheless.

 

 

The whole way back to our unit was a quiet one, but it wasn’t like any other atmosphere that came in between us. It was a nice and comfortable one.

 

It wasn’t until a block away did I see someone sitting in front of our house.

 

Luna.

 

 

“What’s wrong Am?”, Krystal asked me as I stopped in my tracks.

 

“Luna.”

 

 

 

I stayed quiet the whole night after I came back. It was a good thing that my Mom won’t be back until tomorrow. I wasn’t really up to explaining to her why I’m feeling down.

 

I didn’t bother to eat dinner, but I guess Krystal was too because there wasn’t anything prepared in the dining table.

 

As I came to our room, she was already in her PJs and was turning away from me.

The whole time since the moment I laid down, I just stared at her back.

 

With the curtains open, the night light was shining down on her; kind of illuminating her curves.

 

I found myself think how beautiful she is.

 

 

 

Do I like her?

 

Then what about Luna?

 

 

Then it suddenly dawned on me what had happened.

 

“Krys…”

 

“Krys…”

 

She wasn’t budging, but somehow I feel that she’s still awake.

 

I moved closer and gave her the tightest hug I’ve ever given anyone.

I felt her placing her arm across my neck, onto my face, before it landed on my cheek with her thumb rubbing it.

 

“What’s wrong?”, she asked as I let go of her.

But the moment she faced me, I went back into hugging her and placing my head on top of her chest.

 

“Am…”

 

“She broke up with me…”

 

“Luna?”

I nodded. I felt her kissing the top of my head.

 

“Are you okay?”, she whispered.

It was a stupid question.

Clearly, I wasn’t.

Once again, it dawned on me what happened.

She broke up with me.

 

I just lost one of the most significant people in my life.

 

I started balling my eyes out.

 

Or at least, that was how I pictured myself; but I felt nothing and got nothing. Not one single tear.

It pained me. But I didn’t expect it to be like this.

 

It confused me.

 

It made me think why I wasn’t that much affected as her. I mean, Luna looked like a wreck, and I barely understood what she was saying because of her crying.

 

Suddenly I thought about what my Mom said to me.

If there’s one person I love and trust the most, it was her. She raised me by myself; loving me for who I was or what I am. I always tell her everything and she does the same.

“Am, you know I love you more than anyone in the world, and I would give anything for you to be happy, but listen to me when I tell you that this isn’t love that you’re feeling. You’re just confused.”

“Luna was someone who filled the gap when you and your friends drifted apart. So it’s natural that you feel so strongly towards her; but that’s not love honey. That’s just infatuation.”

It wasn’t the first time I heard that word, but it was the first time that it was used to pertain to my own situation.

Back then, I searched for the meaning of word and got: passion, obsession, fascination, craze and fixation. Love was also associated but it went along with those words.

Was it really just infatuation?

 

 

“Am?”

I finally came to my senses as I heard her calling my name.

 

Krystal.

 

Is what I’m feeling towards Krystal also an infatuation?

 

It can’t be, can it?

 

Krystal Jung was always something inexplicable and unexplainable. And the same totally goes with how I’m feeling towards her.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Am?”

 

“I’m okay…”

 

 

 

What is this I’m feeling?

 

How I want so much to talk to my Mom right now and have her tell or explain to me what I was feeling.