Prologue

Sooyoung’s POV

I handed her a cup of hot chocolate as I settled myself back down on the seat across her.

“Thanks Youngie.” Jessica smiles sincerely. I could only smile back and feel all giddy inside because of this warm sensation I’m having just being near her. “You didn’t have to trouble yourself with expenses just because of me, you know.”

“It’s no trouble at all, Sica.” I reassured as I reached for her hand, squeezing it softly.

Jessica chuckled before pulling away from my grasp. “So…what did you want to tell me?”

“Oh, uhm, I just wanted to let you know that I’m not going to be around tomorrow.” I closed my empty palm slowly. “Just so you would know, that…uh, I won’t be able to walk you to work or fetch you after that.” I managed a pout while studying Jessica’s oblivious expression.

“Ah, that’s fine. Don’t worry about it Sooyoungie.” She gleams brightly.

How sad…

I actually wanted her to hold me back for a second there; stop dreaming Sooyoung. I simply grinned as response to Jessica who was now taking sips from her cup of chocolate. I decided to do the same with mine and in only seconds, the atmosphere between us became very quiet; the sound of slurping occurring from time to time.

A few more minutes and Jessica pulled out her laptop, situating it to her side of the table.

“I’ll just finish up my presentation for next week.” She mouths, strands of blonde hair beginning to cover her face as she gazed downward on the lit up screen of her gadget. I could only remain on this trance-like state of mine while staring at Jessica.

I wish I had more to tell her but I found myself bored after finishing my drink and unconsciously, I began tapping the table with a random beat.

…

Later on, I realized the rhythm I was drumming was in sync with Jessica’s typing and I quickly stopped, thinking that this meeting could be more productive if I put more initiative on this girl.

“Hey Sica…” I called in a whisper. 

“…”

Not even a reply. Seeing that she has a pair of earphones on, Jessica probably can’t hear me.

I sighed a little louder.

I really wanted to bother Jessica so much. I wanted her to notice me. It’s strange to think that she’s my best friend but I still find it awkward to mess with her, what’s wrong with me?

Who am I kidding? I know exactly what was wrong.

…

Several minutes later, I finished my third plate of cake and turned my attention back to Jessica who was now organizing her things as she carefully kept her laptop.

Her gaze shifted to my eyes and a bright smile was thrown my way. “Sorry about that, the presentation’s really important for me. Anyhow, now that I’m done with that, we’ve got some free time together.”

Finally!

 “Oh…” I said timidly, not trying to be so obvious about my happiness. “I didn’t think it would take you so fast…the way you looked at your screen seemed as though it’s going to take you 3 hours to finish that.” I exaggerated a bit.

“Really? Sorry about that…” Jessica trails off softly. “You seemed pretty focused on your food so I didn’t want to bother you either.” She giggles. I could only smile at her cuteness. She couldn’t make me mad no matter what she did.

“It’s fine.” I said genuinely.

We both had a stare down for a minute as we gradually shifted from grins on our faces into fits of laughter. It was a connection between me and Jessica that I really find odd. Whenever we would make eye contact, it would be as if we understood each other like we had an actual conversation. I think it was a result of knowing each other for so long and knowing so much about one another…too much.

I guess such things are what occur in best friends.

…Just best friends…

“…Youngie?” I snap out from my thoughts upon hearing Jessica’s voice.

“Huh, wh-what?” I met her worried face.

“You were spacing out there for a second…”

I was?

“Oh, uh, sorry…you were saying?”

“I was asking what you were going to do tomorrow.”

“Oh, I’m coming with Taeyeon to the airport. She’s going to fetch Tiffany tomorrow apparently. Isn’t that good? Our mushroom’s finally back.” I smirked as the thought occurred to me.

Jessica’s soft expression changed into a grim one upon the mention of Taeyeon’s name. Oh boy…

“That partner-in-crime of yours?” She asks firmly, almost angrily to be honest. I can’t blame her for the reaction though, she and Taeyeon are…not in good terms for some reason.

“Y-Yeah…” I nodded slowly.

“…That blonde bastard.” Jessica muttered audibly.

“Sica…” I cooed.

“It’s not as if I don’t like that midget Sooyoungie, it’s just—”

“You see her as a bad influence for me?” I filled in mechanically as if she told me this several times already…and she had; every single moment I would head off somewhere with Taeyeon. There’s just no speck of trust between them. The only reason they would ever get along is when their peace-loving friend, Tiffany Hwang, would be around and even she’s not enough to stop their tension.

 “I don’t know what kind of friend you see from her but I could never see that blondie as a companion of mine even if you two get along well.” Jessica crossed her arms whilst looking at me seriously. “I know you can differentiate what’s right from wrong so don’t let her tell you what to do.”

Jessica, I know why you’re acting hostile towards Taeyeon, but I don’t understand what’s so wrong about her that you would hate her for it. Kim Taeyeon is a great friend.

Nonetheless, I simply replied with an ‘okay’ to stay on the safe side.

She slouched a bit after a few moments, I guess she calmed down now.

I leaned forward and reached for her cheek. It felt nice when she nuzzled the side of her face on my palm. Jessica held onto my hand and smiled sweetly at me.

...

“I love you.” I shouldn’t have let those words slip but it did. I couldn’t help it.

Jessica’s smile was quickly swept away at the mention of those three short words. She let go of my hand gently and stares at me intently, studying my face before speaking. “Youngie…” She says carefully.

“I know Jessica, I-I know…I just...I couldn’t stop myself. I mean, who knows? You might change your mind, right?”

“…”

“Sica—”

“I really don’t see you as anything more than my best friend, I’m sorry…”

“I understand—”

“Do you?”

Ouch.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“If you actually did, I wouldn’t have to feel bad for letting you down like this. Stop making that face, please.”

Then stop rejecting me…

The day ended with awkward vibes between me and Jessica.

Why did I have to say that to her when I fully know how she’s going to react?!

I ruffled my hair in frustration as I threw myself down my apartment bed.

Yeah, I think by now it’s pretty obvious who Jessica is in my life.

A best friend…first love…only love…

I didn't ask for this in the first place, it just suddenly happened. Even Jessica wasn’t happy the first time I told her of my true feelings, and she wouldn't be any happier no matter how many times I tell her that.

My eyes were stung by warm tears which soon flowed down my cheeks. I grit my teeth.

I muttered with my cracked voice a question I would ask Jessica if I had the courage to.

Jessica Jung, if I were a man, would you consider my feelings?

A/N: Hi there ^_^ New author here with a new story XD, my apologies for any grammatical mistakes now and in the future as I work on this story; English isn't my first language but I'll do my best to make this story enjoyable for whoever will read it :)) Thank you for dropping by and I hope you like the story :D