Chapter 1: so sweet!!

Style: Your style is clear and complete. It's descriptive but, be careful, because it is borderline boring. The dialogue is decently made and it flows nicely. There's a nice balance between the dialogue parts and the narrative parts. There are parts of your story that makes my heart thumped. There is nothing wrong with your style, I think –but, personally, similar to the plot part, there should have been something that is more...idk, "kicking" about the style. Like, I need your distinctive style, which, maybe I'm mistaken, but I don't exactly catch it throughout me reading the story. Additionally, I think, given a bit more push and exercise, you'd do awesome in the contemplative-style kind of writing.

Hello, the following is your goody bag for participating in my TMaF semi-contest!

Plot: I always appreciate slice-of-life story, and I actually always enjoy the "flat plot" type of story, because they always seem to dwell on characters and interactions more. However, unfortunately, I feel like there is nothing... that is incredibly unique in this fic. Sure, maybe that is your aim and I do accept genre like that, but I was wishing for you to add a little "distinctive" element that would make this fic more impactful. Again, I do not mind flat-plot story, and I do think there are a lot of potential from that kind of story –things that I'd rather expect, but unfortunately am not able to spot easily in this fic.

Having said that, I do commend you for your wonderful pacing (save one, the final part/arc when Seohyun met Yonghwa again in the apartment scene –I think the plot was a bit too paced at this particular part). The story is also sweet and simple, and of course, like what your other commentators have said –it is amazing how you wrote this for Yongseo, considering you're a Yongshin shipper. Another thing that I absolutely L.O.V.E is the way you incorporate the "real scenes" and tailor it to your story –making this fictional story has a bit of reality in it, and of course, that is so wonderful.

The concept of the story is clear-cut and while it may lack the element of surprise (which I don't mind), but it is consistent enough to form a good plot foundation. The plot development is decent – unfortunately, I can't say it's the best: I mean, the background, the , anti-, and conclusion are done nicely, but I do think some of the characters' feelings are not exactly dug (more on this in the characters section), and perhaps that's why sometimes I feel the plot and the characters do not exactly "walk along together".

Characters: Since you choose a non-AU storyline, I also have to compliment you for the rather accurate portrayal of Yonghwa and Seohyun. I do still think that you could have dug or analyzed their characters more, because the characters they are now seem like the characters built from the "50 facts about..." kind of thing. There are consistency and you cannot deny that reading the Seohyun and Yonghwa in your fics –they would be the Seohyun and Yonghwa that we expect. I was just hoping for some more depth, because while the characters are consistent, they could have been made more dimensional.

Seohyun's confusion about her own feeling towards Yonghwa was nice – I like her innocent queries and "struggles" to understand love. I like Seohyun here, although personally, I think you need to add more flair to her to make me (or reader) actually really root for her. Sure, I'm rooting for her with Yonghwa here –but again, it can be pushed more, in my opinion. As for Yonghwa, I think it's your intention to "hide" him –considering that it's more of Seohyun's perspective that the readers are dwelling into. Nothing wrong with this, and I cannot exactly say he's not developed, because maybe it is your intention. One thing that kinda bugs me is that... for people who claim to be in love with each other, I do think that both Yonghwa and Seohyun lack the struggle. I can understand it with Seohyun more, because she was in the phase of discovering her own feeling. Yonghwa's lack of determination –perhaps because he felt he did not have the chance with Seohyun – also upsets me a bit. I don't mind the passive acts, I really don't. I just wished that during those passive acts, there could have been a more heartfelt monologue within each character, so that I actually feel –and not only know – that they are actually in love with each other.

On a side note, though very brief, I really like Sooyoung's character here, hehe.

Suggestion:
• Considering this is a semi-angst story (at least, prior to the last part), identify the part that needs most anguish, and focus there. I think you could have added one more scene after Seohyun's realization of her own feeling to Yonghwa –and this would be the perfect scene that would show how "regretful/heartbroken" she was without Yonghwa. This would also serve as a good bridging between the 1-month post WGM ending and the "a couple of years later".

• Analyze the character deeper. Not saying you're doing a bad job now. Like I said, I think you were consistent in the characterization and I have no problem viewing the Yonghwa and Seohyun in this fic as the original Yonghwa and Seohyun (which is marvelous), but more in-depth analysis about them would do more impacts to their distinctive element as a character.

Favorite Parts:
• When Yonghwa confessed, and Seohyun was surprised, and then Yonghwa added first "I'm crossing the line, I know... I'm sorry." I think this would be my favorite part of the story –because this is just heartbreaking and truthful at the same time (idol dating reality) and this is the part that really made my heart thumped when I read it.

• Basically, when you include the apartment moving in scene. I was like: "Omo, the author is incorporating that real story into this story! Amazing! I love it!"

• 'Just after both of them were inside the building that Seohyun noticed the side of Yonghwa's shirt was drenched. Always being a gentleman child, Seohyun smiled to herself.' : aaaaa, I think this is the kind of elements/parts that you need to incorporate more in the story. I think this is subtle, but it manages to tell a LOT of things: Yonghwa's silent considerate self, Seohyun's perspective nature, the silent-but-thoughtful relationship that they seem to share –all that could be described in two perfect short and simple lines. Add more of this kind of sentence, I think your fic will be improved A LOT.

Chapter 1: LOL at how Yonghwa faking cough just to get all the other CNBlue boys & their manager out of the way... :D

This is a really good one author-nim! Thank you for sharing!

Chapter 1: It's amazing how you say "youre more into YongShin" (I didnt expect that hahaha) and yet write a beautiful story about YongSeo. Thank you for this. Pls write more =)

Chapter 1: love this one shot. thanks author-nim =)

Chapter 1: so, how was it? writing a yongseo story? kekeke
that shocks me, you know about dandelion and stuff lmao
but thank you for writing a shot.

A sequel maybe? hahaha c:

Chapter 1: Love it!!!! Thank you.