forever, it is
Down to Forever
I sit down in a coffee shop pondering about what I just heared.
I was on my way to work when I heard them again. The traffic and hot weather was wearing me out, leaving me frustrated and stressed about being late. . My boss is going to kill me. It's been so long since I last heard them. What, around 15 to 16 years now? I lost count, actually. Life takes you to a journey and give you things you have to deal with and unfortunately, you have to let some things go. I let them go.
I started to let go as I age. Figured out I need to grow up, get a job and get my own life. Obligations and work became my priority. Gotta work hard for my family after all.
But you don't really forget.
I was losing my sanity and was yelling like a mad woman because of that damn traffic when I heard it again.
"Now let's do a quick flashback since a lot of you requested for it. Oldies but Goodies! Man, this song is just awesome. This goes out to everyone celebrating this day! Enjoy guys! Happy Anniversary!" said the DJ.
From the very first beat that played, my heart started to beat faster. I felt shivers down my spine and the corners of my mouth formed a smile. I found myself tapping my hands on the steering wheel instead of giving out middle fingers to other drivers. Eventually, I heard myself singing. Turns out I still know the lyrics by heart. 'Into the new world' will always make my heart melt.
Then everything started to haunt me again: The times when I stayed up all night waiting for fansite preview pictures. Damn, I really loved 'complete bliss' and 'be sweet on' a lot. The times when I ditched schoolworks for fangirling about how perfect Yoona is, or how gorgeous Seohyun's legs are. I always checked on my phone just to see if Taeyeon, Yuri, Hyoyeon and Sunny updated their instagram. Those times when I find myself grinning like a fool while looking at Tiffany's beautiful eyesmile. When I cried whenever I find out that soshi have kissing scenes on dramas and plays they starred at. Who would forget Sooyoung's funny imitations and Jessica's 'Im-an-ice-princess-but-im-stupid' image?
I remembered how I was back then. Back when I was a teenager who is helplessly inlove with 9 girls. I even had a blog dedicated to them, saying how I will always support them forever. Whenever I'm going through hardships, I'll just play their music and boom, I'm smiling again. If I could just thank them personally and tell them how much they have helped me through my teenage years, I would.
I guess the best part of being their fan is that I gained more friends. The friendship I had with other sones was something I will never forget. We always make jokes about the girls and eventually got close to each other.... I wonder where they are now?
But everyone has to grow up, and so they did. They retired and left the k-pop world. They were dethroned by a much younger and fresh girl group. Maybe people got tired of them, or mabe it's just because they're too old for comebacks already.....
I heard most of them are married now, and who would have thought my 'ship' before actually happened in real life? I heard Tiffany and Taeyeon lives somewhere in LA now with their adoptive son. I heard that Sooyoung is now a designer and has her own clothing shop.
And now I sit here on this coffee shop, writing down this letter. August 5, 2028. My hands and lips are trembling and trust me, it's not because it's cold. I actually have no idea why I'm crying like a baby right now. I wonder what the other customers think of me.... Seeing a 33 year old woman in business attire, bawling her eyes out while writing something is not really a good sight to see I guess.
But they don't know what I feel at this very moment. I haven't been this happy for a long, long time.
I told myself when I was younger that I will support SNSD forever, so forever it is.
You move on.
But you don't really forget.
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