Pain. It’s all I can feel. It hurts when they kick me. It hurts when they call me names. It hurts when they push me, and shove me, and step on me like I’m an annoying bug.

            Violence. It’s all I see. They fight every moment of every day. They scream at each other and hurt each other, no matter how hard I try to stop them.

            Betrayal. It’s all I know. Hyung turned his back on me first, and then one by one all of my friends became my enemies.

I think, maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to die.

            In a small gray class room, in a large modern school, he sat in his desk, staring out the window. He paid no attention to the words his teacher spoke, or to the whispers of the restless students around him. He only continued to stare out the window from his desk, in the small gray class room, on the fifth floor, of that large modern school.

            The school bell rang, signaling a break for the busy students, and he stood from his desk. Wordlessly, and apathetically, he made his way out of the class room, through the halls, and down the stairs to the cafeteria. He passed through long halls, decorated with dull art, and beat up lockers. He passed by students who neither looked at him nor spoke to him, not that he particularly wanted them to.

The loud cafeteria was like any other. Girls laughed, boys boasted, and food stained the floor, but he sat alone at a table by the large glass window. He stared down at the food in front of him. Chicken, he loved chicken, but there were also celery sticks, and he couldn’t stand celery. He looked up and around at what surrounded him, finding everything the same as it always was: Girls gossiping, boys roughhousing, food on the floor and not in the trash can, and him alone. Or, was it not like this?

            Were the walls always so gray, and the grass always so lifeless? Did everyone always eat the same thing and look the same as well? He could’ve sworn he saw the same girl in the cafeteria eleven different times, but that they were also all different girls. Was it always like this? He thinks it was; it must have been. After all he couldn’t remember anything else.

            Actually, he couldn’t remember anything at all.

            For the first time since he entered that world, he felt emotion. He felt confused.

            “Where am I?” He asked, to lifeless people who gave him no reply. He thought, and he waited, but no one answered his question.

            Again, he looked to his surroundings. He seemed to sit in a typical cafeteria, but nothing was alive. Well, not really alive. The walls and the floors were definitely gray, and the tables were to spotless to be real. The courtyard, just beyond the window, seemed alive with students chatting away, but it really wasn’t. Taking a closer look at these people, he found something almost terrifying: They were all exactly the same.

After all, when you’re dead, nothing can hurt you.

            From where he sat, alone by the window, he looked at the other students. Their faces looked exactly the same, their clothes, though all uniforms, worn in exactly the same way, and their hair, both color and style, were exactly the same. The only difference between the students was who was a girl and who was a boy.

            He thought about this, and how it could be, that everyone is exactly the same. That’s not how it always was, but then again, he couldn’t remember. He couldn’t remember anything; Not where he was, not how he got there, not even what his name is. He could not remember anything at all.

Really, it’s living that hurts; death is painless.

            A cool breeze shook him from his thoughts. But, a cool burst of wind indoors? Surely that’s not possible, and it’s definitely not, but somehow he appeared outside in the courtyard. Looking back inside, he saw the table he was sitting at filled with six rowdy boys, his food nowhere in sight. That’s alright though; he wasn’t hungry anyway.

            Slowly and carefully, he treads through the dull, dry grass. It made no sound as he walked through it, almost as if he were walking on air. So, soundlessly he weaved his way through the clones of students, all the way back into the school, where he found empty halls that stretched for miles on end.

            There, by the window, stood a girl. Maybe, he thought, she’s different from the rest of them. He walked up beside her, and greeted her, but she dared not move. He tried again, but still she did not respond. Finally, in his frustration and confusion, he shouted at her,

             “Look at me!”

            With a sudden movement, her head snapped to one side, and suddenly she was looking at him. He screamed. He felt scared, but she made no other movements. She did as commanded, and looked at him. Her eyes were stagnant, unblinking, and lifeless, just like she was.

I think, maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to die.

            It took a moment, but he calmed down and realized he was truly alone. A cool breeze passed over him again, and then he was on the roof of the school, overlooking the school grounds below. He realized there was no color. Everything was some shade of gray; All of the students, all of the trees and the grass, and even the sky seemed gray. He realized that he couldn’t hear anything either. The students made no noise, there was no sound when he walked around on the grass or floors; the only thing he could hear was himself talking, the wind, and a deeper, slightly raspy voice laughing.

            Laughing?

            Was that always there? No, it wasn’t, but he definitely heard it. From his place looking over the school, he turned around and saw a boy, in a red hoodie, laughing. When he saw the boy, the boy stopped laughing, shock spreading across his face. Or, what part of his face was visible, as the boy’s hood covered his eyes.

And then he showed up.

            His heart stopped for a moment. This boy radiated something. Was it joy, calm, happiness? He couldn’t tell, but he wanted more. He wanted to stay by this boy and find out why he felt alright with him around. He wanted to know why he seemed different.

            For a moment, they stared at each other. That’s all. They didn’t speak. They didn’t move. They just stared at each other. And then, the boy in the red hoodie smiled. The boy looked to the ground, looked back up at him, and smiled.

            “Catch me.”

            He was caught off guard when the boy suddenly spoke, and barely heard it over his own thoughts.

            “W-what?”

            “Catch me.”

            Then with one last smile, the boy in the red hoodie ran past him, and jumped off of the roof of the school, leaving him in such a state of shock at confusion that he stopped thinking properly for a moment. The only thought running through his mind was to catch the boy, so without much forethought, he jumped over the edge of the roof as well, plummeting to the ground and a certain death.

            But when he opened his eyes again, he wasn’t dead, or at least he didn’t feel dead. Instead, he was in a forest clearing, and it was so full of color. The trees were alive as they swayed in the breeze, the grass felt cool, and fresh beneath his fingers, and he looked up at the most beautiful blue sky as warm sunlight shone down on his face.

            He felt content, and could have laid there for an eternity, but a voice rang through the trees, making him sit up and scan the forest with wide eyes.

            “Hey!”

            In the distance, in front of him, he saw the boy in the red hoodie waving his arms above his head. It should’ve been too far away for him to see, but he could clearly see the boy, and couldn’t miss the smile that spread across the boy’s face before he ran off.

He’s smiling, like it’s fun to live.

            Again, he took off without thinking, running through the forest. He swerved through the trees, jumped over rocks, and chased that boy in the red hoodie. He ran faster and farther, racing ahead but never catching up. But he had to catch up. He had to know who that boy was. He had to know why he’s so different from those lifeless students, so everywhere the boy went, he followed.

            When the boy jumped up into the trees, and hopped from branch to branch, he did the same. Like two ninja, they bound through the trees going faster, and leaping farther. When the boy shot up into the air and flew without wings, he followed, soaring without knowing how he was staying in the air. They flew higher and higher, into the clouds, before the boy in the red hoddie disappeared.

            When he lost sight of the boy, he stopped and looked around. There were nothing but clouds around him for miles. Like the forest clearing, it was calm, and quiet but still so alive. Light glittered around him and warmed his whole body. Clouds decorated the blue sky, and the sun shone brightly, casting perfect rays of light, creating bright ambiance that one could only dream of.

            It was warm; comfortable, but he felt empty. Something was missing.

            “Boo.”

             He shrieked loudly, whipping around to find the boy floating behind him. His lips were curled into a mischevious smile, but his eyes were still covered by his hood.

             “I thought I told you to-”

            Though the boy tried to speak, he tackled the boy, cutting him of, and sending both of them hurling towards a cloud. With eyes squeezed shut, he braced for impact thinking they’d fall to the ground, but instead of crashing down, they landed with a soft thud.

But it hurts to live…doesn’t it?

            Opening his eyes, he found them in a beautiful field that stretched for miles. Lush, soft grass beneath them, colorful flowers sprinkled around the grass, a bright blue sky above them, clear of clouds, but let the sun shine down its warm rays on the tired boys.

            Laughter.

            Again he heard laughter. Turning to the boy in the red hoodie, saw the boy beside him, spread out on the grass, and his hood fell off to reveal a strong jaw, small, happy eyes, and black hair with faded red highlights.

            Staring at the boy’s face, he felt whole again. The empty feeling disappeared and he was calm, even if he had no idea who the boy was.

            “Alright, alright; you caught me. You know Changhyun, you’re really fun.”

            He paused. “Changhyun? Who’s that...Me?”

            The boy looked over to Changhyun, his smile never faltering. “Of course you. There’s no one else here, right? And besides, that’s what your name tag says.”

            Changhyun looked down at himself, finding that he was still dressed in his school uniform with his nametag pinned neatly to the front of his yellow jacket.

            As silence consumed them once again, Changhyun stared at the boy in wonder and felt his face heat up. Was it because the boy still laid so close to him? But they had only just met. What reason was there for this boy to make Changhyun feel this way? How did he even manage to do those things? Changhyun concluded that this world they existed in definitely wasn’t real. It couldn’t be.

            “Well, that’s cause it isn’t.”

            Changhyun jumped in surprise, embarrassed that he was thinking out loud.

            “Your dreaming, Changhyun.” The boy clarified, sitting up to face Changhyun.

            “What do you mean, ‘I’m dreaming’? I’m asleep? None of this is real; you aren’t real?”

            The boy laughed. “No, actually I’m quite real, but yeah you’re dreaming.”

            “Can I do anything here?”

            “You can do anything, be anything, and go anywhere. You can only go as far as you can imagine.”

            The boy held his hand out in front of him, palm down. Suddenly, day turned to night and the sky turned dark. With only the light of the moon, the night seemed empty and gloomy. Turning his hand over, the boy cupped what looked like a ball of light. It gave off warmth that could compare to a burning fire on a cold winter’s night. But when he blew on it, the ball of light scattered into a thousand little fireflies that flew up into the air, becoming stars that glittered across the open sky.

Well maybe…maybe it’d be okay to live just a little longer.

            “That’s amazing…you’re amazing!”

            “You can do it too Changhyun. Just think of something, and imagine that it’s real.”

            With a deep breath, Changhyun closed his eyes and thought a home. He imagined every wall, every door, every piece of furniture, and even the food in the refrigerator, and when he opened his eyes, he was there. Changhyun and the boy sat in Changhyun’s room on the bed. Both of them looked around, trying to piece together just where they were.

            “So this is your house? It’s nice.”

            Changhyun laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, still confused. “Is this my house? I don’t know; I don't remember anything.”

And it’s all because of this boy.

            Everything still looked gray. When the boy was making things and places, it was so vibrant and amazing, but the house was gray. Changhyun made the house, and it was lifeless and gray. How did this boy make such amazing things from nothing? How can one person have the creativity to create so many wonderful things?

            Yet as he contemplated these questions, the ceiling he stared at began to look different. It became darker and color, and the bed he laid on also felt softer. Sitting up, Changhyun looked around again. The walls were painted with beautiful murals resembling the places he’d been with the boy, and the furniture started to look homier rather than just existing.

            “Do you like it? I thought I’d help you a little. I mean, I know it’s kind of hard at first: using your imagination, but with a bit of practice, you can create anything.”

            Changhyun smiled at the boy’s words and laid back on the bed. The ceiling now looked like the night sky, just like the one the boy made minutes earlier. Changhyun felt the boy lay down beside him, and relished in the feeling that came with it: comfort.

I haven’t known him for very long.

            “Hey…Thank you…For all of this. I like it, I really do.”

But there’s something about him…

            A smile flashed across the boy’s face, and he moved to take Changhyun’s hand, but could not grasp it. It happened so suddenly, but suddenly, everything was fading away from Changhyun’s vision.

            “W-what’s happening? Everything’s blurry; I can’t see anything!”

I think if I live a little longer,

            “Changhyun, you’re fading!”

            Scared and in shock, both boys tried to keep Changhyun from disappearing, but as the seconds ticked by, his body became more and more transparent. As Changhyun disappeared, so did his feelings. The warmth, and comfort of being around the boy left and were replaced with fear and loneliness.

            “Changhyun! Changhyun….”

            And then everything faded away.

then I’ll find out what’s so special about him.

            With a jolt, Changhyun woke up that morning. His eyes burst open, and he panted, wondering about his strange dream.

            Suddenly a warm body tackled his. Changhyun’s mother wept as she held her son close, and his father smiled thankful to see his son awake. At the foot of the bed, Changhyun’s friends were all bunched together, trying to get a look at their wounded friend. It took a second, but slowly Changhyun remembered everything. This is reality, he’s in a hospital, these are his friends and family, and his name is Yoo Changhyun.

            He still didn’t know why he laid there in the hospital bed, or why everyone made such a big fuss over him. Their explanation flew right over his head, but he didn’t particularly care to hear it. At the moment, he just wanted to go back to sleep and see that boy again; whoever he was. He wanted to go back to that world, where he could do anything, and learn how to create those beautifully vivid places.

I want to see him again.

            On a flat gray roof, on a large modern school, he stood waiting. For what, he doesn’t know, but he’s waiting for something. The wind blows across his face, but he stands still, unwilling to move until that something comes for him.

I want to explore this world with him.

            “Changhyun!”

            And when that something finally appeared, he turned around and saw a boy in a red hoodie. Changhyun was surrounded with comfort and warmth. He felt happy, and never wanted it to stop.

            “You’re here! I thought you were gone. I thought, maybe you weren’t real.”

And if it were always like this,

            The boy in the red hoodie stepped forward, trying to hug him, but he took a step back to the very edge of the roof and then replied with a mischievous smile.

            “Oh, I’m quite real.”

            The boy stared in confusion, unsure of why Changhyun was doing what he was doing.

            “Catch me.”

            “W-what?”

            “Catch me.”

            And Changhyun closed his eyes letting himself fall over the edge of that large modern school, plummeting to the ground and a certain death. But when he opened his eyes again, he wasn’t dead. No, he was flying through the air, quite alive.

I think, maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad to live.