Ours was one of those friendships that people smile at and say, ‘they’ll be friends forever.’ And in our case, that’s mostly true, or at least it has been for the past ten years or so. See Donghae and I met when we were trainees. We were the same age and had the same interests. He liked to dance, I liked to dance; he thought he was pretty good, I knew I was better. It was the staple of our friendship.

For years, we grew closer; had our fair share of disappointment and excitement. We were adored by girls around the world, revered as symbols at times or comedic geniuses at others. He and I, we had been through a lifetime of stress and tears – the struggle and strife, y’know?

He was my go-to when the chips were down. My drinking buddy when I broke up with that chick who had a nice rack, my Halo nemesis on the dorm living room couch, my partner in crime when we purposely poured Siwon’s coke on Magnae’s laptop and blamed it on Wookie. Donghae and I were as thick as thieves. He had essentially become the peanut to my butter. He wasn’t just my best friend, Donghae was my brother.

We made this pact one drunken night after a great debate on which of our band mates was hotter in drag. Donghae fervently argued that Heechul had the face of a woman – my argument was simpler, “have you seen Sungmin’s ?”

After that, we sat on my bed and stared at the ceiling, wondering idly when it was that he had plastered glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. Donghae, because he was sure of their existence, said that the stars were aliens and they created the constellations which were really just maps to guide them to us. I think I was too drunk to argue because I just nodded and said, “You’re so right.”

“No, really,” Donghae pressed, sitting up and disrupting the gentle slumber I was falling into. He punched me in the gut and apologized when I doubled over, nearly coughing up a lung as I tried to breathe. “Sorry! But really, Hyuk, it’s true. It’s a map for them to come here. And when they do… they’re going to take over civilization. Cut us off from our everyday needs – like food… and ! And we’ll have to eat each other.”

I think I laughed and he punched me again. “Hyukjae, don’t be stupid. I’m being serious. I just want you to know, you’re my best friend and I would never eat you if that happened. But I’d want you to live, so promise me… if the aliens invade and you’re starving, that you’ll eat me.”

You never expect someone to say something like that because it’s stupid. I gawked at him and he raised his fist again. Punk had been working out and those punches don’t tickle. “Promise me, Lee Hyukjae.”

“Using my government name. Fine,” I sighed. “I’ll eat you.”

I was drunk, possibly stoned, possibly another person altogether when I said those words because it was ing retarded. Oh yes, I can see it now. Here come the aliens, they stole all the food; sorry, Donghae, I’m craving some liver. Yeah, right.

We fell asleep and didn’t mention it again.

But you know the worst part about drunken promises, they come back to bite you in the .

Case and point: it’s been three weeks since the aliens invaded.

It was a slow, uneventful day the day it happened. Shindong, Donghae, and I were at the company in one of the practice rooms. The building was relatively empty. Most of the trainees had gone home for the weekend, the decision making bastards who sign my check were off in who knows where, people had schedules. We were sitting around debating the idiocy of the ‘Mister’ dance. Because you know, even after about a year’s worth of activity, those poor girls were still only known for their -sets.

Shindong had stood before the long mirror and was trying to replicate the hip movements. Yeah, not something I particularly enjoyed watching but whatever, I laughed and threw my water bottle at him. This is about the time got strange. The water bottle froze in mid-air, kinda just floated there. The three of us watched it. It stayed that way for maybe thirty seconds before Donghae poked it and all hell broke loose.

The broiling summer sun had disappeared behind this massive black cloud with these crazy glowy, laser things flashing down. We watched from the window as the lights were coming toward us. I don’t remember running because all I remember thinking was, ‘, I’m gonna piss my pants.’

Running into the street was a dumb idea, a fact which we learned as Seohyun and Sooyoung took the front doors out of the building. Those laser things… want to know what they do?

THEY CUT YOU IN-ING-HALF!

This would have been an amusing sight, you know, if there weren’t aliens on the street basically killing everyone. I don’t know how we ended up in the basement, we were just there, burying ourselves in the countless racks of ugly costumes we had worn years previously. There were people screaming, some unearthly screeching. It was mostly stuff I blocked out because I was scared less.

Aliens were real; somewhere in my mind I knew I owed Donghae a million dollars. Like hell would I admit that though. I had sat in a corner wondering how long we’d be here. The military had to have jumped into full force. I vaguely imagined Kangin-hyung pulling apart an alien. The idea made me smile.

By day seven, there weren’t any more sounds outside. Shindong had left to find out what the situation was. He never came back.

Donghae and I occupied our time playing games and talking about ual conquests because you know, we’re guys. I found out he had done all of Soshi – not really a huge feat… most male idols and some gagmen had; but he also disproved my heartfelt belief that Amber was a lesbian.

I, on the other hand, went a step farther, listing in great detail who I diddled, when, where, and how.

stories took about four days. I never realized how much of a I was. Ah, I guess it takes the apocalypse for one to see their true purpose in life. I should have been a hooker – I would have been paid more.

You ever watch those spy movies where they use the vents to move around? We tried it, mostly because we’re dumb, and partially because we were starving. We ended up finding a route to the cafeteria. Most of the food was gone. Donghae had jumped up and down mouthing, ‘see, I told you! They come and take the food!!’

“Shut the hell up!” I had hissed back.

Three boxes of chocopies, some pepper-cookies, two cases of water, and sadly, six cans of anchovies later, we were back in our little nook. We had used all the shiny materials to create a disco effect on the walls and the leather pants and jackets to make a sort of wall, complete with a draped door made of neon jeans circa Gee/Juliette. Trust me when I say that boredom brings about your inner interior decorator.

A week after our scavenger hunt, the food was gone. They say the body can survive on only water for two weeks – bull! I was delirious from hunger. And have you seen me, it’s not like I can live off my own body fat. Donghae wasn’t any better. He pulled a Wilson and started talking to a dummy-head with a brown and blonde wig. He dubbed it ‘JeTi,’ as her hair was made of the numerous extensions that Jessica and Tiffany used and reused.

So here we were, two weeks and six days from the day Earth was invaded by aliens. Donghae had become a fidgety wreck. I was enemy number one after I had accidently pulled out a few of JeTi’s wavy brown tracks. It wasn’t like I had meant to do it – the had no right looking at my junk while I was taking a piss with her mis-matched button eyes! I really wondered what the hell I had to expel form my body anyway… water weight?

We weren’t talking and it was weird. I mean, we didn’t stay mad at each other… we didn’t really get mad at each other. I blame the lack of food in our bodies. Your stomach controls everything! It’s a lie when they say men think with their es! I’d give up anything for food at this point.

I wasn’t exactly sure what day of the week it was, I just knew how long we had been here… maybe? Who knows, I was probably wrong. I woke up sometime in the middle of the night chewing on a shoe. It was disgusting but I was so hungry that I kept gnawing on it.

“Hyuk,” Donghae’s voice brought back a bit of my sanity and he pulled the shoe from my lips. “You’re that hungry?”

“No,” I lied. “I like the taste of microfibers and rubber. Now give it back.”

It was dark but I could vaguely make out him shaking his head. “You’re starving.”

“I’m not starving, I’m just hungry.”

“You lost weight.”

“So have you.”

“You look sick.”

“You’re sick in the head. Go back and cuddle with JeTi.”

Donghae bowed his head and sniffed slightly, “You promised.”

There are a million and one things he could have been talking about and yet I knew what he meant. He was insane. I was not going to eat him! Especially since he was alive and raw. I may have been starving but I wasn’t barbaric. Do you know how many germs are on uncooked meat?

Donghae stared at me, well I mean, in the darkness I can only assume that’s what he was doing; he put his hands on my shoulders and gave me a firm shake. “You promised. You promised me that when the aliens invaded you would eat me if you were starving. Now you’re starving and the aliens here. Just think of it as… umm… how does that old saying go?

“Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.”

What the ?

“Let me be your potato!” Donghae nearly cried.

I punched him this time. That felt liberating. “That isn’t a saying. It’s a stupid bunch of words put together by some random teenage girl in her bedroom while she was on shrooms! I’m not going to eat you!”

“Eat me, goddamn you!”

See, if he really wanted me to eat him, he shouldn’t have punched me so damn hard. Also, I wouldn’t have been unconscious when Shindong-hyung stumbled in half-alive and crying about seeing the aliens worshiping Sulli’s head – yes, head there was no body.

Donghae, while I was in my useless state, had further learned that the aliens had despised the young crack- as much as the rest of us and had come for her… and no one else. The rest of humanity – and by this I mean everyone who wasn’t in South Korea – was perfectly fine, going about their day to day lives without a care.

Apparently, the aliens liked our humble piece of the planet and had decided to habitate here. Many were living in secret, like we were, except they had actually started drawling straws or playing ‘rock, paper, scissors’ to decide who would be the weekly meal. Kibum had apparently fed the members of the 11th floor dorm. Poor guy, he never comes home and when he does, they eat him. Ain’t that some ?

Shindong was next on the menu but he left them in search of a way out. People on the streets attacked him because he still had his bodily appeal.

I woke up to the smell of meat. God was it heavenly. I actually thought I had died. My mouth was watering when I allowed my nose to carry me over to Donghae who had set up a little eating area. My first instinct was eat and eat I did. It was so delicious. The meat was tender with just the right amount of fat to season and compliment it.

Mid-way through my meal I stopped and inspected Donghae, checking to be sure he wasn’t missing any body parts. Thankfully he wasn’t, because that would have been a little disturbing to watch him eat himself.

“So what is this? A dog or something? I mean, if we’re eating Choco right now, I’d have no problem with that. Damn, Donghae, this is great!” I reached for another piece of meat and smiled at the grin he gave me. “Where’d you get this?”

“Shindong-hyung,” he replied, mouth falling open as he bit into another piece of juicy meat.

“Hyung came back? Where is he?” I looked around, trying to find him. But there was no one in the room except for Donghae, myself, and JeTi who was also seated at the “table.”

He grinned – that smile I hadn’t seen since we were fifteen. “You’re eating him.”