It was one of Exo's rare days-off. Since most of the members were too tired to even walk, their managers decided it would be a bad idea to get them out for extra practice. Besides, the boys had done well with their 4 wins.
Kyungsoo was up early, as usual. He was one of the few who did not need a lot of sleep, so he took advantage of these few hours he had left before the dorm would be filled with boys, and decided to cook a big breakfast as a reward for their hard work. Jongin had startled him a little, when he came out with prominent dark circles under his eyes, proof of a restless night filled with over-thinking.

“Ah, sorry hyung. I didn't mean to scare you.” His voice sounded slightly off, as if Jongin was just saying those words instead of actually talking. “No, no worries. I just didn't expect you up already. Want some tea?” “Ah, tea would be nice, thanks.”
Kyungsoo silently served the tea, observing the tired dancer from under his eye-lashes. Jongin had been strange lately, as if he was slipping away, sinking into his own mind. He had seen the tears forming in the younger's eyes several times the past few weeks, not the happy tears they had all shed, but ones from despair. They were subtle things, but Kyungsoo noticed them all and had started to form a slight idea as to why Jongin had been so upset.
“Jongin...” He had started off slowly, “how come you didn't sleep well?”
“Oh, it's just... Nightmares” “I heard that, yes.” it was true, Kyungsoo had heard the soft whimpers and sounds of discomfort whenif Kai had drifted off to sleep. He may have been waiting for the younger to fall asleep first -just to see if he wasn't secretly going off to practice some more-.
“You did...?” Jongin responded absentmindedly. “What have you been thinking about so much?” “Nothing, hyung.” “There is obviously something bothering you. A lot.” “I said it was nothing, I'm fine. Perfectly fine!” The irritation clear in his voice. “Jongin I'm not playing this with you.” The singer said, ready to get up and leave Kai alone. “Then don't, Kyungsoo.” the younger's eyes shut up, a little too fierce for the older's liking, not even noticing the lack of honorifics. “Why are you pushing me out... We used to talk so much.” “I grew up, that's all.” Kai responded a fraction too quickly. “That's not it, you don't want me to know. You don't want to talk to anyone.” “So now you're psycho-analyzing me, hyung?” He snickered bitterly. “I'm just concerned, Jongin.” “Sure you are.”

“Jongin! Look. I'm just trying to be nice here, because I know what is bothering you, but I don't want to force you. Why are you being so heartless to me!” “Oh so what, now you're my psychologist?!” “Why are you being all defensive! I'm just trying to be here for you, stop blocking me out!” “Stop trying to break my walls!” “So you admit you built walls now.” “Seriously, I don't NEED a psychologist.” “Dammit, Jongin. Why are you so damn stubborn!” “Always have been. Thanks for the tea, hyung.” The tanned-boy spat out, before turning away and leaving for a shower.
Kyungsoo sighed and continued with the abandoned food. 'I hope you choke on it, Kim Jongin'

No words or glances were exchanged the next three days.

It was on the third night, when Kyungsoo was once again waiting for the younger to fall asleep-he couldn't stay mad when he feared the younger might break any second-, that Jongin didn't go to sleep. Instead, he got up and left the dorm. Curious as he was, Kyungsoo followed his dongsaeng, to find him entering their dance studio. He peeked through the glass door, watched Kai warm-up, and not sosurprisingly, put on ballet shoes. 'So I was right...'

Pirouette after pirouette, Jongin tried to finally master his tripple turns. When after falling down for the sixth time, he still couldn't do it, he put his hands in his hair and stayed on the floor. Kyungsoo felt so useless, watching the poor boy torture himself. He resisted the urge to walk in, just because he wanted to learn more about Jongin's doubts.

The dancer stood up, obviously slightly dizzy (he hadn't been eating very well after all), and walked to the barre. He put on classical music to stretch his muscles before changing it to the music for the male solo in Giselle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdxR1j_LkdA A/N: couldn't help it. I love Giselle.). Kyungsoo watched him in awe, he had never known Kai was this good. Sure, he often finds himself awestruck by the boy's amazing moves. But this was taking it to a whole new level. It may not have been perfect to a professional, but it was flawless in Kyungsoo's eyes.

When the music looped back to the beginning, Jongin just stayed down on the floor, out of pure despair. He simply wasn't good enough.

Silent tears fell down on his slightly tanned cheeks, before eventually turning into heart-breaking sobs. Kyungsoo tried to swallow the lump in his throat, ignore the stinging pain in his chest, and walked over to the broken boy as softly as he could as if he was afraid of breaking him further.

Of course Jongin heard him, and he shot up, surprise clearly visible in his tear-stained eyes and not expecting to see his favorite hyung next to him. Before Kyungsoo had even fully crouched down by his side, they younger already clung onto his shirt. “I'm-so... sorry-.. Hyung... I-” “Shhh, it's okay Jongin. I'm here, I understand. It's okay” the elder cooed. Time went by, and Kai's uncontrollable sobbing died down to soft whimpers. All the while, Kyungsoo was his hair and whispering words of comfort into his ear. Tired of using all his strength to hold onto the fabric of Kyungsoo's shirt and crying, Jongin slowly let go of the older. He kept staring onto the other's shirt, ashamed of his 'childish outburtst'.
“Why are you being so hard on yourself...” the older let out soft and hesitantly, holding the -even with puffy, red eyes- beautiful face between his hands gently. Jongin just sniffed in return and continued to look down. “You, you hate yourself... Don't you? That's what's been bothering you...” “... so much”

“But why, Jongin, you're perfect-” “Don't, hyung... Don't say that. You know I am not.” There was so much pain in the younger's voice, the lump in Kyungsoo's throat only grew. “How could I hold you like this if you were a perfect human being... I'd be scared of you and I would feel unworthy... But you're still perfect to me. Kai, Jongin, they're both perfect in my eyes. Your flaws make you human and reachable. I wouldn't want you any different.”

He may have been too honest with those words, and would he have said them at any other time, he'd have been ashamed. But with his best friend, his brother, in his arms being this broken, he couldn't care less. Jongin had to learn to appreciate himself, even if it was half as much as Kyungsoo did.

The dancer merely shook his head. “You know nothing, hyung” his voice unsure. “Maybe not, but sometimes I think I know more about you than you yourself. Now come, we'll go back home. Away from this depressing room. One crying Jongin pains me enough, I really don't like seeing it more in all those mirrors.”

So the younger learned to stand again, with the help of his hyung.