Characters:  Go Nam Soon, Park Heung Soo, Oh Jung Ho, Han Young Woo

Summary: This story is set in the beginning of the drama. It portrays the thoughts of Go Nam Soon and why was he acting the way he did - hiding his identity, not fighting but letting Jung Ho bully him etc. So it's written in Go Nam Soon POV - point of view :)

Time After Time

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ೋ ❤❤❤~~  Time After Time ~~❤❤❤ ೋ
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I miss him. It's been so long since I last saw him. I tried to find him many times but I figured he didn't want to be found so I gave up. But letting go it's not the same as moving on. I can't stop thinking about him. I am tortured by the memories, both the happy and sad ones. I have insomnia so I don't sleep much and when I do, I have nightmares, that are too real for me to wake up from them. That's why I am always late for school. I have a hard time getting back to reality after I wake up. Still, I try to attend school. I don't know why I just don't give up, why am I still trying? What's the point? I can't figure it out but something tells me, I must go, that I should at least finish high school. So everyday, I drag my tired body to school and sleep through the lessons. I decided to keep a low profile, to stay out of the troubles and quietly finish the school but things never go the way I want them to. 

I know, that every class has the bullies, that it's not something uncommon... I just didn't think they would pick on me. Now, that I look back, it was foolish of me to think like that. Of course, they will pick on me. I have that vibe around me. No matter how much I try to hide, how much I pretend to be someone I am not and even if I fool everyone, I can't get rid off the air around me. They may not understand it, but they feel it. They know I'm different and they may act cocky and confident, but I know, they feel the competition, the rivalty. However, I don't plan to threaten their place. I don't think I would be able to fight ever again. Ever since the accident, I haven't been in a fight. I just can't bring myself to throw punches anymore. 

I can take a lot from them. I try not to talk back too much or be too cocky, but like every bully they seek out the weakest in the class and they know, it's not me. When they start to pick on Young Woo, I can't sit still. I don't know how or when it happened, but that little nerd just grew on me. I told myself, I won't ever get close to anyone else, but Young Woo is good at infiltrating my prison of mind. Then again, I don't think I could let them bully anyone, regardless of my feelings towards the victims. So in the end, I get into trouble anyway.

I thought, that I wouldn't be able to fight even if my life depended on it. Turns out, I've been wrong. I try to hold back, I really do, but Jung Ho just keeps kicking me and something inside of me cracks. I don't know where that anger and rage are comming from, but I always loose my mind during fighting. It takes just a few seconds and I see red. Everything arounds me fades and the only thing, that matters to me in that moment, is the blood on my hands. It's Young Woo who saves Jung Ho by throwing out that chair. Or maybe he saved me. It doesn't matter. I doesn't change the fact, that it brough back the memories again. I may get expelled, but I can't bring myself to truly care about that. I'm too preoccupied thinking about Heung Soo. I'm haunted by his shadow, the last fight is replaying in my head over and over again and I spend the night in bathroom, hugging the toilet bowl, throwing up....

The atmosphere in the class gets more tense and I am sick of everything and everyone. I can't stand the new teacher, I can't stand the classmates judging me, I can't stand those calling themselves my friends to stick up for me. I don't want to study, I don't want to fight, I don't want to have friends. Can't they just leave me alone? I wish I could go back in time and change everything. I wish I could make up for my mistake. But what am I supposed to do when Heung Soo is not even here? What can I do for him when I don't know where he is? I can't just turn out before his house. I don't have that priviledge anymore. 

Jung Ho and his sidekicks provoke me again. Well, I may have practically asked for it this time, but still.... I feel my blood boiling so I just run away. I don't trust myself anymore. I don't know how I managed to survive that stunt I pulled, but given the situation, it was the only way... I couldn't fight them. Not yet. I was not ready yet. 

The situation doesn't get better. We suddenly have two homeroom teachers and my relationship with the Kang seonsangnim is not improving. The cleaning didn't help at all and Jung Ho is very persistant about fighting me. I don't get that kid. Does he have a death wish? I can't run away from this anymore so I decide to get over with it. I just pray, I would be strong enough to take the blows and not loose my mind again. I need to think about this as a punishment for what I've done. It's much better to receive the kicks, than be the one doing the kicking. I have lost everything because of my stupidness and the least I can do right now is take that beating. I know, it's not gonna change anything, but maybe, I can convince myself, that I am paying for what I have done this way. Maybe the pressure on my chest will get a little lighter. So I let them beat me. 

It hurts. It really hurts but the pain I feel can't be compared to the agony I caused. I feel blood in my mouth and I smile. I am still me, I haven't turned into the monster yet and it gives me strenght to act cocky, to talk back to Jung Ho. He is not the same as my previous self, but he is similar. He will just destroy himself if he keeps doing this. But my words only anger him more. He continues to hit me and I wonder when would he be satisfied... how bloody and bruised I must be for him to stop? I feel his hand coming and I brace myself for the impact, but it never lays on my face. Someone stops him. I open my eyes and freeze. It's him. I think, I may be dreaming, maybe Jung Ho hit my head and now I'm knocked out... this just can't be happening to me right now... but it is. It's not a dream or hallucination. He is really here, standing before me with that cocky smile and arrogant pose and my heart is beating too fast, I'm not even breathing, because my wishes are coming true, but I don't know what to do. 

I want to hug him, I want to kneel before his knees and beg for forgivness, I want to cry, I want him to beat me to a bloody pulp, I want to do everything I didn't before but I should, I want to die... We are interrupted by Uhm Force and the moment is over before it even started. It's me who is running away, and yet it feels like he disappeared even faster than he appeared. My body hurts, my heart is breaking but I get a call and I am distracted. Later, when I return home, all sore, tired and desperate, I fall on the bed and sob. Why am I such a coward? Why do I always run away? Why haven't I said something? Anything to him? When will I have a chance to see him again?

That night, I haven't slept at all. Little did I know, that the next day would change my life upside down and give me a chance to make up for everything.

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Every end is a new beginning.

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ೋ ❤❤❤~~the end of Time After Time ~~❤❤❤ ೋ

credits to: rulerxombie