We were waiting for the metro, Daehyun and I. I never thought I would end up travelling and talking with him. I met Daehyun due a bet with Yongguk.

~“If you talk to that weird guy there. I’m giving you 10,000 won.” I did, I said hello to him and talked a bit about the weather. He didn’t answer my questions. A mask covered the lower half of his face, he looked straight forward. After I returned to Yongguk, he told me the man was a ert. And the reason why he covered his face was, because he had a scar over his lips. Because once a child that he harassed scratched him. Nothing was heard about the kid ever again. I was shocked by that information. Every day, the man sat on that one park bench, looking at the kids. I didn’t believe Yongguk, the man looked young and absolutely not like a child harasser. But I did become careful with bets.

After the bet Jongup and I went to school with the metro. The man was there too. I remembered that Yongguk said the man always sits on that one spot. Apparently he didn’t. He was standing in front of my. Better said, squeezed up against me. Because there were too many people and not enough place to stand freely. I didn’t look at him. Jongup was smiling like always and talking to a friend from school, so I was left alone squeezed up against the man were the worst rumors were said about. The first thing that crossed my mind was of course ‘He is going to harass me.’ Sorry, but after hearing a story from your hyung, you would be scared too. Because you can always trust your hyung. Anyways, the man didn’t do anything, he looked at me and then averted his gaze to the station map. Thankful, I sighed.

The next time I saw him was on his usual bench, holding a cup of coffee in his hand. Never drinking of it, because he wanted his mask to cover his face. So the coffee slowly became cold. He stood up from the bench, walked over to our group and gave me the cup. When he was gone, Yongguk took it over from me and smelled the liquid. “Maybe he poisoned it.” He said as answer at the look on my face. After he took a careful sip, he gave it back. “Be careful maknae.” The coffee seemed okay though, it was still a little bit warm, the perfect temperature.

The third time I saw him, was after being soaked wet. It rained outside and I needed a place to hide, because hard hail landed on my head. My curls, where I put so much effort in in the morning, was plastered to my forehead. Unfortunately (In that time), the door I knocked was from the man. When he opened the door, I was frozen to my spot. I didn’t want to move away, not even inside to hide from the now painful hail. He just looked at me and pulled me inside. It was when I entered the living room that I noticed he didn’t wear his mask. I took the image of the mask less man up in my mind. His lips were full, and there wasn’t a scar anywhere. “I’m going to make you soup. There is my bedroom, just take some clothes.”  I only stumbled out of the room when he pushed me towards his bedroom. He left me alone there. The room wasn’t big, so as the rest of his house, and there was only a bed and a drawer with clothes. The clothes looked kind of expensive, which was weird, because the rest of the house seemed cheap. I took out some saggy pants and a sweater, the rest of the clothes were too small for me, and returned to the living room. A steaming mug of soup was awaiting me on a coffee table. “Daehyun.” He said. “Zelo.”  I said, my mother’s words echoing in my head to never tell anyone my real name. Only real friends. “That’s an interesting name.” I nodded, slowly sipping from the mug. “You must know, none of the rumors about me are true. Do you believe me?”  Even though I wanted to shake my head, I nodded. “Good.” That was that. We didn’t talk. I just ate the soup and somehow fell asleep.

I woke up in a soft bed. When I realized I don’t own any grey sheets, my eyes shot open. I sat up straight immediately. I was alone, thank god. I still wore the saggy pants and sweatshirt. I threw the sheets of me and quietly opened the door. In the living room Daehyun lay on the couch, his hair was a cute mess and his mouth hung open. I walked over to another door. That was the bathroom, and on a clothing rack hung my now dry clothes. I grabbed my phone, nine missed messages. – Where are you? Mom-     -What for God’s sake are you doing? Mom-    -I heard from the neighbors you knocked on that man’s door? Mom-    -Answer Junhong-  The rest of the messages were all the same. I quickly messaged a soothing text back. –I’m fine, no, I slept at a new friends house after doing an assignment together. Junhong- I figured it would be best to lie to her. “You’re awake? Sorry that I didn’t bring you home, but I don’t know where you live and stuff. Do you want some breakfast or anything?” I shook my head, but my stomach had another idea. The sound of a dying whale filled the quiet room. Daehyun laughed. “I’m going to make some ramen.” He slumped back to the living room. We ate our ramen in silence, once again. “So, Zelo, from Zelos? The Greece God of rivalry? Or am I wrong?” “No, you’re right.”  Daehyun nodded. “Any reasons for that name. I believe that’s not your real name, all though I’m not in the right place to ask you for your real name. There for I won’t ask you. Do you know anything about Greece mythology?”  When I nodded, he still kept babbling about mythologies and philosophers. It was Saturday, so a reason to go wasn’t there. Eventually I was hanging on his mouth. His stories were really interesting and His vision on things was new. He learned me not to take things seriously.  “Do you think water can change into whine?”  He asked me after a lecture about Plato. “If you ad alcohol and grape juice, maybe.” “Yeah, but if you don’t take it literally. Maybe they mean it in the sentence of wanting alcohol so much, water can taste like alcohol. Like an illusion. Just like when you’re in the desert and you need water, so you start to think sand is water.” That’s how he learned me to think about things. He was like a teacher, but much more interesting.

So that’s how we met every day, sometimes on the park bench, in the metro or just on the streets. He learned me much about life. And eventually rumors started to form. Awful rumors like “Zelo is that man’s special toy.” I ignored them. If they wanted to think that they should just do that. My friends told me Daehyun was wrong, I even ignored them. Yes, even Yongguk. But they excepted it and just let that subject aside. ~

“Ever thought of completely disappearing?” He suddenly asked me. I looked down on him, a metro roared past the station opposite of us. “What do you mean?”

“Just like I said. Completely disappearing. Away from the judgmental people around us, away from the problems, away from practically, everything.” He said it all so calmly, like it was nothing. “There are many people who think like that. It’s a pretty normal question.” I shook my head, my mouth hung open. “Just look at that woman over there.” Daehyun pointed at a woman near the track. “She is waiting for some time now, look at her numb fingers.” De woman rubbed her hands together, her gloves were cut off at the phalanges of her fingers, which looked awfully blue. “Maybe she’s waiting for someone?” I suggested. He shook his head. “Look closely.” I leaned a little forward to so-called check if the metro was arriving. The woman had red stinging eyes, her feet shuffled nervously to and back from the track. She bit her lip, took a step closer to the track, and stepped back. It was impossible that she was waiting for someone. Now I looked a little closer, locked her trembling fingers around a note. She made suspected movements of dropping the note, but then she desperately clutched it again. “Can you see it?” I leaned backwards and nodded. “I can’t believe people think like that. Should we stop her?” Nervously I kept staring at the shuffling feet of the woman. “No, if she was sure about her case, she would’ve jumped in front of the metro long before,” I shivered at his chose of words “and of course there are more people who think like that.” The board with metro times shifted another view minutes. “I think about it too, disappearing.” Daehyun wiped his hair out of his eyes with his numb hand. “But I don’t want to go away from everything, I just want to know how it is like. Being death, I mean. What do you feel and what not? Can you think? Does it hurt? I actually want to know badly.” My mouth fell open once again. “You can’t go!” I yelled, while I was pulling his sleeve. A view people looked our way with shocked expressions on their faces. Daehyun smiled at them, made a ‘He’s crazy’ motion and turned back at me. “Of course not. I want to understand too many thinks to do that now. I see as my last experiment. If the time is right, I shall carry out the experiment and I will know.” Spontaneous, my eyes began to sting at the thought that Daehyun would end his life.

We were silent, there was nothing left to say, so we locked ourselves in our own World. Daehyun happily whistling a song, I nervously playing with my scarf. “We could’ve walked instead.” I said, when the metro times once again shifted some minutes. There was a cracking sound, coming from a rusty speaker in the corner. “Dear passengers, we’re sorry for the delay. The electricity is cut off for a while and the tracks are frozen. We advise you to call a taxi, or take the bus. Thank you for your attention.” A robotic woman’s voice babbled through the speaker. Another cracking sound and it was silent. Then the chaos began. Men and women walked interchangeably as quickly as possible to get to the hall that said ‘exit’ above it. Daehyun and I stayed at out places, both sighing. “You were right.” Finally the station was as good as empty, so we floundered up the stairs. “And now? How am I going home?” Why did I never understand the concept of time? It was almost dinner time and I still wasn’t home, not even near home. My parent were probably worried about me. “Walk, unless you have a bus ticket or money.” I shook my head in reply. Immediately when we walked outside, a cold gush of air blew in my face. My curls fluttered from underneath my beanie. I stuffed my hands in my pocket straight away, scared that they would fall off if I let them hang in the cold air for to long. Daehyun followed my example, only he put his mask back up. His ears flapped a little by the rope his mask was attached with. Again, only his eyes were visible.

A view days later, the weather became warmer. I could walk around in a loose jacket and still not be cold. School also kept getting better. I was walking home, Jongup had detached from me earlier to go to his grandmother, so I walked alone. The trees around my blossomed, I think I never felt this happy. My ringtone shook my out of my thoughts.

~No one man should have all the power. The clock’s tickin’, I just count the hours. Stop trippin’, I’m trippin’ off power. 21^st century schizoid man.~

I took my phone out off my pocket, it vibrated in my hand. The picture on the screen showed a emotionless Daehyun, mask covering the lower half of his face. “Hyung!” I said happily. “Zelo.” The voice sounded far away, wind rushed through the space of his voice and his phone. “I just wanted to say goodbye.” I blinked, what I normally do a lot, but now out of confusion. “What do you mean, you just called.” There was a shaky sigh on the other line. “Zelo, I’m going away.” “You’re leaving Seoul? Are you going back to Busan? Mokpo?” I knew the truth, I knew what he meant, but I didn’t want to know. “I’m going to leave earth, life.” His voice cracked. “Why?” My voice cracked too. People on the street walked past me, throwing me angry glances because I stopped in the middle of the street. “It’s better like this. You can finish school. Your family doesn’t have to worry. People won’t spread any weird rumors. I’ve been in your life for too long, I shouldn’t have come in your life in the first place.” “But I don’t care. Where are you, on a building?” I looked around, up to the skyscrapers. “Listen Zelo, I really cared about you. I’m going to jump, but before that I just wanted to say that.” I began to hopelessly run around, spinning on the balls of my feet to get a look at all the buildings. “Where are you!?” I yelled again. “In your heart.” Was the answer. I couldn’t help, but let a sob slip from my lips. “That’s so cheesy.” I commented. Tears rolled down my cheeks. “Zelo. Goodbye.” Was he really going to do it? He couldn’t. He isn’t like that. But nevertheless, I heard his footsteps. “No.” I said in the phone. “No, no, no. Don’t do it Daehyun-ah!” I started running. Just somewhere, anywhere. “Goodbye.” I heard a cry on the other line. “NOOOOO!” I screamed in the phone. I knew it wouldn’t help. A sound of air hitting the surface of the phone hit my ear. “No.” I said again, no power left in my voice. A awful cracking sound of something hitting the cold concrete and the connection was cut off. “No.” I said again. “No, no, no, no.” I had stopped running. I stood still, again in the middle of the street. People bumped into me, pushing me a view inches. I kept the phone to my ear, hoping the peeping sound would stop and Daehyun would pick up the phone. Nothing happened. Eventually, the phone stopped it’s sound. The phone still by my ear, I looked around the streets. Two old women were standing in front of a noodle shop. “What happened? Lost his homework? The poor boy.” Wanting to yell at them, I turned around. Just in the time an ambulance came by, sirens blowing me away. Light blinding me. I didn’t mind, I didn’t need them anymore. They were going to my friend, my teacher of life. My teacher of life who just committed suicide for my sake. “Oh, he was that young!?” One of the woman said loudly behind me. “Omo.” I finally dropped the phone to my side. Even letting it fall on the ground. I wondered if I should go and look at the body. But I didn’t want to. I knew it wouldn’t be good to see him in that state, it would only hurt me more. Dazed, I walked home. Tears still stung in my eyes. People passing my sometimes patted my shoulder. They didn’t know what happened, but still showed sympathy towards a young boy.

I threw the door of my house open, my knees almost gave up on carrying my weight. “I heard what happened.” My mother said when she saw me. Her face was full of sympathy. “I’m so sorry.” I nodded. I felt like a death body, all I did was lay down on the floor. In the middle of the living room. I drifted off to sleep easily. My mother didn’t understand me. When I woke up and told her about everything, she didn’t believe me. She was angry at me. “Get over it.” She kept saying as I started crying. I couldn’t.

I walked the streets of Busan. I decided to move to Busan because no one understood me back in Seoul. I finished school and moved. To Busan Uncle’s city. It still hurt, every day. Thinking about Daehyun’s lectures, his lessons, all he taught me. But I was trying to forget. So I left everything behind in Seoul and moved on. I now knew a view people in Busan, enough to have social contact. But I tended to just be as alone as possible. My shoes made clicking noises on the concrete of the street. Luckily in Busan, it was a lot more silent. While Seoul was really crowded, you could freely walk around in Busan without getting bumped into. I approached the apartment building I live in, unlocked the door and kicked off my shoes. As always, it was a daily routine. The door fell in it’s lock as I kicked it. All I did was slump over to the couch and lay down, my face in the cushions. The doorbell rang.

“Hello?” I yell from my place on the couch. The bell rings another time. I sigh and sit straight. “Hello?” I yell once again. Again the bell rings. I sigh and stand up from the couch. I open the door. The first thing I see is blond hair. “Hello, Greece God.” The person says. It’s silent, as I try to progress everything happening inside my brains. “Daehyun-ah?” I say, a bit insecure. I want him to be Daehyun, but I’m scared that as I say his name, he will disappear, that it would only be an illusion. “Zelo.” He says as answer. Slowly I walk forward. We almost fall into each others embrace. Hugging each other closely. All I can do is stay silent for a while, letting Daehyun swing us lightly. I wanted everything. Punch him, because he left me and made me believe that he was really gone. Cry, because I was so desperate. Laugh, because I am so happy right now. Stay in his embrace, sage, without needing anything to say. But despite all that what I want on this moment, I let go. When we finally have a view inches between us, I look into his eyes. “So… How was it like to be death?” Tears start to well up in my eyes, the same happened at Daehyun’s side.