Jongin closed the laptop with a sigh. He crossed his arms over the desk and put his head down. He didn’t know why he still checked the fancafes for negative comments about him. Most of the time they were nothing of real malice, just fans pointing out mistakes and such, but each one still felt like a dagger. He knew he shouldn’t feel that way because criticisms help with growth, but maybe he was still too innocent to not take them to heart.

Lately, the ones that had been hitting him the hardest were the comments about his skin. It seemed like every fan was talking about how dark it was, some even saying it was too dark. It made him feel so… insecure. Although he knew most fans had nothing bad to say about his skin, some even telling him at fansignings how pretty or beautiful or handsome it was. But every negative comment had more weight, and Jongin couldn’t help but focus on them.

Letting out another sigh, Jongin pushed away from the desk and stood up. Pulling his shirt over his head, he threw it onto his bed and left for the bathroom, deciding to take his shower sooner than later. Locking the door, he turned to face the mirror and let his eye wonder over his torso. He had built himself up well and his skin was clear and smooth; he was a very handsome boy. But even his own compliments couldn’t outweigh his growing animosity for his own skin tone.

The water was nearly scalding, but he didn’t care. He just wanted his skin to melt away and maybe reveal a lighter, more desirable tone. Jongin turned around and let the water run down the smooth expanse of his back, quickly turning it a blotchy tomato red. He rested his hands against the glass and the wall on either side of him, fingers absentmindedly scratching lightly against the surfaces as he brewed over every negative comment he could remember.

The water had cooled down considerably when he heard a pound at the door.

“Yah! Kim Jongin!” He heard Kyungsoo’s annoyed voice yell, “hurry up! I want a hot shower, too!” Jongin sighed and turned the water off. Stepping out, he quickly dried off and slipped his sweatpants back on, not even bothering to include his boxers. Before opening the door, he glanced in the slowly defogging mirror at his red and blotchy torso. A small, humorless smirk pulled at his mouth.

“Ugly,” he thought aloud quietly and opened the door, avoiding eye contact with the man leaning against the opposite wall. Kyungsoo’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as he noticed Jongin’s skin and the strange look on the younger’s face.

“Jongin-ah…?” he trailed off as Jongin ignored him and entered their shared room, shutting the door. Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow and followed after him. Jongin dropped onto his bed and buried his face into the pillow, ignoring the click of the door being opened.

“Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo repeated himself softly, walking over and sitting on the edge of the younger’s bed, “what’s wrong? And if you say ‘nothing’ I swear to god I’ll make something wrong.” The last part had a sharp tone to it, but he had a gentle expression on his face.

“… Don’t worry about it…” Jongin finally answered.

“Jongin…” the older warned, “I’m giving you five seconds to flip over and look at me or I’m doing it for you.” Jongin released an angry sigh and flipped over, sitting up. Kyungsoo’s eyes traveled down and took in the blotchiness of Jongin’s skin again, his face contorting subtly in worry.

“I said don’t worry about it,” Jongin said curtly, though his eyes started to waver and they broke away from Kyungsoo to look at the far corner of his bed. He flinched slightly as the older reached forward to touch the reddened area on his arm, “S-Stop,” he stuttered quietly.

“Jongin… what’s with your skin?” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows shot up when Jongin growled and slapped his hand away.

“It’s always my skin!” he yelled, making the older jump, “that’s what’s wrong! Everyone is always talking about how dark my skin is! I’m sorry that I can’t be the ideal person because my skin isn’t fair enough!” There were tears forming in the younger’s eyes, “All I want is for people to forget about my skin! But they won’t! And there’s nothing I can do about it!” He was sobbing then, digging the heels of his hands into his eyes.

Kyungsoo was quiet for a minute, putting two and two together. He watched with soft eyes as Jongin cried, tears streaming down his forearms. Then he reached forward and gently grasped the younger’s hand, bringing it towards him and keeping a tight grasp on it as Jongin tried to pull away. Jongin’s watery eyes widened as Kyungsoo kissed a red patch right above his wrist.

“W-What…” he tried questioning, but he couldn’t form the rest of his sentence. He watched as Kyungsoo kissed each red blotch all the way up his arm, pausing at his shoulder, “H-Hyung…?”

“Why are you so insecure about your skin?” Kyungsoo asked quietly, lips hovering just above Jongin’s skin, “it’s beautiful.” New tears formed in the younger’s eyes and he shook his head.

“It’s not beautiful.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes met his, “It is.” Jongin gasped as Kyungsoo gently, but firmly pushed him back into the bed. The older ignored Jongin’s soft and confused protests as he straddled him, pinning his hands by lacing them with his own.

Kyungsoo leaned in and kissed the middle of Jongin’s chest, “The color of your skin does not dictate what’s truly ideal,” he whispered against the fading redness, “it may be cliché, but it really is what’s on the inside that counts…” Tears were falling down Jongin’s face as the older continued, “beauty also isn’t dictated by your skin. Just because your skin is a shade or two darker than what’s ‘ideal’, doesn’t mean that it’s not beautiful.” Jongin’s sniffles were getting louder and more frequent as Kyungsoo started kissing every inch of skin he could reach on his torso, “You are beautiful,” Kyungsoo punctuated each word, his face now hovering above Jongin’s.

“H-Hyung…” the younger sobbed, “you don’t have to sa-” His words were cut off when Kyungsoo pressed his lips softly into his own. It was a chaste kiss that made Jongin feel like his insecurities were melting away. Fresh tears falling, he unlaced a hand from Kyungsoo’s and brought it up, resting it in the older’s hair just behind his ear. They remained that way for awhile; Kyungsoo’s freed hand ghosted over Jongin’s arm and side before settling underneath the side of the younger’s jaw. When their lips finally parted, Kyungsoo wiped the damp tear trails from Jongin’s face.

“Don’t belittle yourself anymore…” he whispered, “don’t let your skin define you.” A small, watery smile colored the younger’s face as he nodded.

“Okay,” Jongin whispered back and a full smile spread across his face as Kyungsoo beamed and kissed his forehead.

“Good boy,” Kyungsoo teased softly, earning him a pout that he kissed away. Getting off of Jongin, he stretched, “Alright, try to get some sleep. I’m going to go take my shower now.” Jongin nodded, sitting up as the older started walking away.

“U-Um…” he mumbled and Kyungsoo turned around, looking at him curiously.

“Thank you, hyung.”