Warning(s): Reality mixed with fiction.

Rating: G

|She|

If he were being honest, Changmin had to admit he hadn’t tried hard enough to know her simply because they didn’t hang around the same circles. Even when their groups worked together on CFs, they rarely interacted with each other, as he kept to his hyungs most times and she interacted with almost all the members but him. Even when Jaejoong had proclaimed that he found her the most beautiful during a radio broadcast, it hadn’t quite resonated with him enough to care.

In the midst and aftermath of the lawsuit, was the first time he began noticing her since it was about the time her and Kyuhyun became closer. But, it still wasn’t to a distracting extent, if anything they remained civil strangers and the person who really appealed in a romantic sense was Victoria. Luck was on his side when she accepted his confession and began dating, discreetly of course since they were both idols still.

But his eyes, however, always seemed to wonder to her whenever she was in his presence. She could be across the room and his eyes would involuntarily sneak a glance, because if he was being truly honest he admitted that once he began noticing, it was hard not to notice her. No, it wasn’t in the romantic sense because his feelings for Victoria were absolute, but in the curious light. It was rare to see her without a smile, whether sick or tired she always managed a smile. At the end of every SMTOWN concert or musical festival their groups attended together, she easily dropped the performer image and let herself loose to have fun with her label mates as well as sunbaes and hoobaes around her.

There was just something about her, the aura that surrounded her that drew him in.

Perhaps there should have been blaring warning bells when his heart beat rapidly at catching her glance, when he held her hand during the last bow at the end of a show. While he managed to get closer and comfortable with the other members of SNSD, he remained unbearably awkward around her. Always watching from afar as she easily interacted with others, even Yunho. When it became clearer that it wasn’t simple admiration and curiosity, but a crush he knew it was trouble.

It was something he thought he could easily fight, since crushes were usually passive. But the more he knew and discovered about her, the more it evolved from a crush to actual romantic feelings. Feelings he had no right having, seeing as he had Victoria and she was still his girlfriend and she deserved better than only his partial attention. So, to be fair to her and himself, he broke things off with her knowing she deserved someone who would think of her only.

“Why?”

“I… I have feelings for someone else, and I can’t be with you when I feel something for her… sorry.”

“Does she know you have a girlfriend?” the first notes of accusation finally filtering into her voice as tears balanced in her eyes. She’d been much too calm and it was her right to be upset when he was basically telling her that he had been two timing her. “How long have you been seeing her while you were with me?”

He felt defensive not for himself but for her who was effectively innocent in all this, “She doesn’t know how I feel.” He may be a lot of things but never a cheater, which was why they were having this conversation.

“It may not have been physical,” Victoria corrected his unsaid defense, gathering her bag and things. “But, it was certainly emotional.” Because thinking of someone else while he was with her was in fact emotional infidelity. They had been growing apart, but she’d hoped on some level they’d work things out but, it seemed he was more than ready to move on.

The memory more vivid in his mind after the discussion on that day’s recording of Moonlight Prince. He and Victoria had gone back to being tentative friends after she’d taken enough time to heal and forgive him, but to this day she didn’t know the other woman was Sooyoung and he still never managed to tell Sooyoung how he felt about her. Because, even if his feeling were more muted and diluted than they were before, her smile still left him dazed, her voice still called for his attention, her presence was always felt by him and his eyes still stole glances at her during press conference or even across the stage.

A/N: First attempt at Changsoo, I don’t know if the idea came out well. Please comment and tell me what you think.