Tao has a plan.

An ingenious plan to add to the bleeding scratches on Kris’s hands. A gigantic, foolproof plan that manipulates the darkest depths of Kris’s weaknesses. A plan that will send him snivelling and sobbing back to Canada to his five cats, three dogs, and seventeen fishes.

A plan that starts with Tao falling into maple syrup.

He taps at the half-full bottle of thick sugary goodness with glee as it teeters gingerly on its edge. He ducks and dodges around in a circle as it threatens to fall this way and that, and he has to make sure it doesn’t fall on him. One final pat of his small paw and it crashes down to the table area near him with a thud that makes his tiny body jump up into the air. The cap of the bottle pops off and a river of syrup flows out onto the table cloth.

Suho’s gonna murder him. He’s got laundry duty today. Tao takes a second to glance at the liquid seeping into the stitches of the table cloth and sniggers.

Ah whatever. Tao gleefully flops into the sticky puddle and rolls around with some resistance from the thick syrup, but eventually, he does manage to cover himself almost completely in maple syrup. Perfect. His previously-silky fur is matted and thickly coated in a shiny, dripping layer of syrup and everywhere apart from his nose and eyes smells of Kris’s precious, specially imported Canadian maple syrup.

Tao sticks his little pink tongue out to catch a falling drop from his ear and grins. The plan is going well. An evil sort of laughter chokes in his throat and ends up as a tight bark that sends him jumping into the air, off the table, and onto the floor. He lands easily on all fours, the natural instinct of a cat. Giggles pour from his mouth when he looks behind him and sees the sticky little pawprints he leaves behind. Everyone’s going to be so mad when they step on those.

Awkwardly, he makes his way across the living room as the syrup starts to stick his limbs together. He resolves this problem by sticking each leg straight out like a badly made robot. He marches slowly and carefully, making a beeline straight for the bathroom.

There’s already someone in there taking a hot shower, the steam rolling out from the open gap. They don’t close the door when they bathe, in case someone else has to use the bathroom. They’re all guys anyway. Who cares anymore.

The shower water thunders in his ears like a gigantic waterfall and he flinches a little, the only hiccup thus far in his plans.  What if he gets squished? What if he drowns? He whimpers and backs away a little, paws sticking to the floor slightly as he moves. Pain pricks at the areas where his fur gets stuck to the ground and he makes a small noise of pain pathetically. His plan is failing.

A squelching noise emits from him and the pain intensifies. He cries out now, the syrup drying and gluing his limbs together like a fly caught in a web. His legs fail him (along with his plan) and he topples over like that bottle of syrup, that accursed product from Kris that’s going to really kill him now.

He meows loudly, because the only thing that can save him now is the person in the shower, though he very much doubts that the person can hear him through the booming of the water. The desperation in his voice can easily be heard throughout the living room in his heart-wrenching yowls as the thought hits him like a truck. He shudders at the sound of his own voice that reverberates around the room.  It’s ok. If he’s going to die, he’s going to die screaming and kicking.

Except he can’t really kick, so he just lies there outside the bathroom pathetically.

Why hasn’t the person inside heard him? He frowns and pouts. Stupid idiotic people with their deafness and idiocy. He hates everyone.

The warm fog rushes around his body as the door opens and someone steps over him, large feet barely missing his tiny tail and paws. Tao just so happens to glance upwards in shock, conveniently getting a very good, albeit dark view of that someone’s privates.

Kris is wearing nothing but a plain white towel around his waist.

Tao shrieks, but that gets muffled by the thickening syrup and comes out as a strangled meow instead.

Kris looks down in surprise, one leg still lifted in the air over Tao. His eyes widen as he takes in Tao’s sticky form, and widen even more as he traces the sweet trail on the floor back to his nearly-empty bottle back on the dripping table. For a second, as Kris’s features contorts, Tao thinks Kris is going to step and crush him in a fit of rage, but instead, Kris bends down, securing his towel with one hand and scooping Tao up with the other, rushing back into the toilet.

Tao lets himself be carried, feeling very stupid and idiotic now that he’s in safe hands. He still hates everyone. Especially Kris.

Kris mutters a curse in Chinese and Tao cowers sadly in shame.

Kris places Tao gently into the plugged sink and turns on the tap so that the water laps gently against Tao’s body, then flings open the cupboard door nearby and starts searching frantically for something.

Tao takes the chance to steal several furtive glances at Kris’s and drink the syrup-infused tap water while doing so. He knows it’s wrong, but hot damn.

Kris turns around with a suspicious blue bottle in his hands and approaches Tao with a firm look on his face. Tao backs away, paws treading open water, only just starting to fear his safety.

There’s a tense moment where Tao glances at the door and calculates his escape route. But it backfires. He’s never been good at Math and his brain is too tiny now.

Tao yelps when Kris grabs his sticky body and dumps a whole load of soap on his body, then starts lathering him up without a warning. He fights against the hold, kicking and scratching as Kris’s fingers uncomfortably rub him everywhere harshly (but not painfully) to get the syrup from his fur.

Tao squeaks when Kris turns him around, starting to clean his tail area, and without thinking, promptly s all over Kris’s hand.

There’s a pause filled with disbelief from both Tao and Kris. Kris looks like he’s going to throw up or scream or both at the same time.

Tao sees his chance and stealthily jumps off the sink and dashes across the wet floor out of the bathroom, leaving Kris standing there dumbfounded and covered in foul-smelling .

His plan worked after all.

************

yiss this is going to be multi-chaptered now I can't wait heh

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