i;

High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life

The artificial light of the darkening hallways brings no joy to the teenage boy that sprints down their hollow stretches. Though his echoing footsteps would surely bring punishment that he could not afford, Tao continues running, his breathing hitched and broken, not from the exertion but from the tears threatening to spill.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

Chen… They were supposed to be together.

Everything about their first encounter was cliché yet inexplicably right. From the instant that their eyes met to when the laughing choir boy handed the skinny new Chinese transfer student back his glasses, something just fit.

It was like Tao was reopening the old diary of his heart that had been forgotten in a corner of his mind, the past overwritten with dust. And he found Chen there, on the first page and shining. Like he was always there, always meant to be there.

Moments scattered through their classes together solidified the sense of déjà vu in Tao’s mind like the lines between stars reconnecting themselves back into constellations. And it all was so convincing…

But then there was someone else.

Tao had convinced himself over the course of the school year that the hollow ache that had grown in his chest was really just a symptom of fatigue (he was training too hard for his martial arts championship). Tao had always been good at pretending. Even when he was a child he had the most vivid imagination.

So he pretended that the bow-lipped smiles were directed at him over chemistry test tubes and textbooks and not Kris. He pretended that Chen’s laughter was because of him and no one else. He pretended not to see the brushes of lab coats and the subtle glances in between clean-up and classes, pretended that those moments were just tricks of the light, or lack of sleep.

Tao had pretended and pretended and pretended until all he’s doing was lying to himself because—

“Kris.”

Because at the end of the day, once all the books, glasses, jackets, and ornaments of daily life are stored away, it’s not Tao’s name that Chen softly murmurs in the darkness of an empty classroom– it’s Kris’s.

A small piece of him had shattered at that sound.

Tao turns a corner now and throws open the door to the rooftop, his hair and shirt in disarray as the chilling nighttime wind whips around his frame. He walks to the edge and teeters at the edge. Then he closes his eyes.

What had gone wrong? What had he not seen? But...

Tomorrow morning, he’ll go back to pretending, smiling and feigning happiness. But right now, when no one can see the perfect mask crumbling and slipping off his face, Tao lets himself fall apart.

'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need

A/N: I'm so sorry this is taking so long!

I ended up rewriting a lot of this because I got inspired by EXO-M's Peter Pan lyrics yes it's been that long

Thank you so much who have been waiting so long and I hope I don't disappoint you~

/growls my  way out