http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzmMlR1VuQ4

He sat himself quietly on the bed, waiting patiently for his turn.

Awaiting the surgery that will change his entire life.

His daddy was planned to come but was caught in a traffic jam, causing him unable to reach on time.

Again, XiuMing looked out of the window, disappointed that he couldn’t see his beloved daddy.

He sighed and gripped the hem of his gown, with uneasiness played in his heart.

As he was just a young kid, sense of fear could be seen on his face, even he had tried his best to hide it.

Yet, his shaking hands had betrayed him in another way.

“XiuMing, don’t afraid. Jiejie will pray for you.” I said, gently patted on his shoulder.

He looked back, giving me another warm smile before placing a letter onto my palm.

“Jiejie, can you pass this to my daddy after the surgery?” He asked, pleaded me with his pitiful eyes.

“Okay. Don’t worry and come out safely.”

“Thank you, Jiejie…” He said and wrapped me into a hug right after that.

I could feel his fear from the tight embrace. The fear that shouldn’t belong to a young kid.

As he hugged me, a streak of weird feeling attacked me. It couldn’t be expressed as pain nor the emotion that overtook me with sadness. It was just some sorts of suffocating inner feeling that was unable to be described. A feeling that hurt so much instead.

I closed my eyes and held back my tears, embraced him even tighter, feared of losing him in the next second.

“Jiejie…” He said.

“XiuMing had never feared of death.”

And immediately, I loosen the hug and looked into his eyes.

“XiuMing just feared to see daddy cry. And also Jiejie…” he continued.

Listened to his sincere words, tears no longer obeyed my instruction and rebelliously slipped its way down on my cheek, letting the sudden emotion overtook me.

“XiuMing.” I said, holding his hands and cried even more fiercely.

Please… don’t take him away from me. I beg you…

Sooner, I felt a small hand landed on my face and brushed away the tears stained on it.

“Jiejie, don’t cry.” He said and caressed my face.

Knock! Knock!

Just then, a nurse came in and greeted us.

“XiuMing, we need to go now.” She said. XiuMing obeyed her instruction and shifted himself to another bed.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.” He responsed weakly.

Somehow, I could feel the disappointment in his reply.

He. Wished to see his daddy. For the last time before he left.

But I guess luck wasn’t on his side.

Soon, he was pushed towards the threater before a man stopped them from the far.

“Wait!” He shouted, managed to stop the nurses’ action.

Everyone turned around and surprised to see the man standing in front of them.

“Daddy!” He said, slowly the corner of his mouth pulled into a bright smile.

“Sorry for coming late, XiuMing. Will you forgive me?” He said, pulling out his pinky finger and his thumb while XiuMing followed and sealed both of their hands together.

“Apology accepted. You’re forgiven.” He replied, smiling even brightly.

“XiuMing, no matter how, just try your best. Never force yourself and just let it happens naturally. Daddy will just accept what the god decides. So, never afraid and remember we are with you.” The father said, holding his tiny hands once again.

Slowly, the nurses led him in and disappeared behind the door of operation threater.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B9JXYg20ck

On the other hand, his father and I sat ourselves onto the chairs along the hallway.

“ZhiLing.” He spoke. “My wife.”

A long silence took place instead of the previous conversation.

He took a deep breath and letting it out slowly, trying to calm himself down.

After a few deep breaths, he continued on the conversation.

“I was born in a rather poor family. I had eight siblings and my father had no choice but to steal people’s properties in order to make end meets. He was caught countlessly and thrown into jails.

As we were too poor, I was forced to work as I’m the eldest child.”

“I’m not educated so I had no choice to work as a part time labourer owned by a Chinese engineer.

One day, I met ZhiLing, the daughter of the engineer. She came to visit her father and brought along some foods she packed to the construction site. Every single of us were provided with foods and drinks and I was totally thankful as I managed to save a few dollars to buy some food for my family.”

“Then what happened?” I asked.

“One day, a steel plate fell from the building and nearly hit on her when she paid another visit to the construction site. As I was standing closer to her, I pushed her away, causing the plate to hit and injure my back.

I was hospitalized for three months and very worried about my income as my family depended on me to support their daily life.

Just then, ZhiLing came and told me that her father had paid for the hospital fee and also provided some daily supplies to my family so I didn’t need to worry at all.

Of course, I thanked her for helping me.” He said, a chuckle was heard by then.

“Is this how you two develop feeling?”

“Ermm. She came every day, with some soups she prepared early in the morning. At first, I pretended like I didn’t like her as I’m just a poor man. I couldn’t even give her the life of a normal family, but she didn’t mind and insisted to be with me.

Soon, she left her family and married me. She started to work hard, trying to help me to support the family.

Seeing how her slender fingers were slowly covered by the calluses, I felt so sorry yet she just told me it’s nothing as she was contented with the current happiness she had.

Later, she had our first baby.”

“Is that XiuMing?” I asked again.

“Yes. When she knew it, she was so happy. However, our poor condition didn’t afford to support the daily supply of our future baby so she worked more part time.

Fatigue plus lacking of enough nutrients made her body became weaker and almost miscarriage on the fifth month.

Two months later, she was found lying at the kitchen by our neighbour and sent into the hospital.

The doctor told her that it was premature labour and advised her to abort the baby as her life was severely threatened.

Yet, she refused and pleaded the doctor to save the baby no matter how. The doctor had no choice but to follow her words as it’s her patient’s right.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HODM9TvCbsA

He explained, a mix of emotions swirled around in his chest. They were rushing up to his cores driving him to the edge of mental breakdown.

However, he tried his best to suppress it.

“At that moment, I was working and the neighbour called me and told me to rush to the hospital as my wife would give birth soon.

When I reached there, I was welcomed by a doctor, who later told me that I was a father of a baby boy. And that was XiuMing.

I was totally amazed when I carried XiuMing in my arms. How amazing it was to have my own child.” He described happily as he recalled the short happy moment but soon sadness took over his heart again, making him heartbroken.

“However, those happiness didn’t last long as he told me that the mother of the baby was unable to be saved.

In the same day, my heart was overtaken by mixed feelings. My mind went blank, unable to think of the life of us without ZhiLing.

By then, baby XiuMing cried and I remembered what ZhiLing had said before.”

“What did she said?”

 “She said, everything has its own risk. If you win, you will be happy. If you lose, you will be wise. Never thought it as a loss.”

“Is this where you gained hope to live on?” I asked carefully.

“Ermm. But mostly thanks to XiuMing.”

“Why XiuMing?”

“From him, I felt that my wife was still alive.”

“Why do you say so?”

“Because they cared and understood people well more than themselves. Just like how XiuMing always forced me to go home to rest even though his heart wanted me to stay...” He explained before another silence took over.

I looked at him, stunned by the amazing bonding of them. They knew each other’s mind well even without speaking it out.

They didn’t like normal people, interacted and showed their caring through words or writing. But they cared through heart.

After few hours, a doctor stepped out of the operation threater.

He couldn’t figure out if he should be relieved or nervous whenever he saw the doctor came towards him.

He just froze on the spot and continues to tell himself…

Please… let it be good news… Please let it be good news…

He held his breath, prepared himself to hear the doctor’s announcement.

The doctor watched at XiuMing’s father before disappointment filled his heart and sighed.

 “I’m sorry...” And with that one word, he felt a sense of numbness on his heart. His heartbeat stopped by the moment he heard the unacceptable words. 

Sorrow filled his blank eyes that were staring vacuously at the floor.

Lifeless. From the outside,  he seemed so lifeless.

Suppressed down my feeling, I passed him the letter that I was asked to do so as I remembered XiuMing’s last words.

He took it over and slowly taking it out from the envelope.

Written on the plain sheet of paper was the handwriting that he was not familiar of. And the content was something that… That he couldn’t help but felt his heart sink by just reading the first yet the last sentence.

I choked, with tears ran down my cheeks.

My vision went blurry as more tears surfaced. I took in a shaky breath and sobbed.

My hand was raised back up to my mouth and my lower lip quivered.

It was a letter filled with the small pieces of paper which contained the Chinese characters that I had taught day by day.

Wrote…

爸爸,我会告诉妈妈你很爱她.还有,爸爸我爱你.

Daddy, I will tell mommy that you love her very much. And daddy, I love you.

He smiled with tears gleaming visibly in his eyes.

“Thank you for giving me such an understanding son. Thank you.” He said, holding the letter to his heart and cried.

Cried. Because of relief.

Relieved that his son would no longer suffer from the pain of chemotherapy.

No longer seeing his son forced a smile on his face.

But… also cried.

Cried. Because of sadness.

Grieve of losing the one he loved. The greatest support to live on.

http://kindie4u.tumblr.com/post/42649612145/morrie-dead-at-5-17

27 May.

He reunioned with his beloved mother.

No more in pain or tortured by illness.

Now, he was smiling happily and watched over us from the sky.

An angel coded No. 0527.