The drive was lengthy, but notsomuch that you would fall asleep. We were silent, and I wasn't bothered by it because we were both mutually agreeing to the silence. I watched the scenery pass by from the window, and Sulli stared straight ahead at the road in front of her. When she pulled in to park, I finally looked at her for the first time in almost an hour. She smiled at the waves crashing against the sand, and I smiled at her smiling at the waves crashing against the sand. 

"Do you ever wonder if the sand gets tired of being hit by water? Like maybe it just wants to breathe." 

"No. I never thought of it like that. But maybe." 

"Do you ever feel that way?" In the darkness, her face could be seen but only just. No doubt that my red hair would be the only thing noticeable in the dark. I wasn't one for dying my hair strange colours, but Jongin had blonde highlights at one point so I wasn't exactly the weird one. 

"Yeah. I guess I do." I said. Which was true. The thing about Sulli is that she made you realize things that you might never have thought of. And that's the effect she had on me. There were times during our Separation Period that the loneliness got to me, and I would sit on my bed and just cry. I wasn't someone who was afraid to show my emotions but when you're crying about a girl who may or may not remember you, you feel a little pathetic. 

"Good." She said, her eyes going back and forth between the waves lapping the shore.

"What makes it so good?" I ask.

"It just does. Let's go swimming." And she leaves the car, already walking on the sandy beach to the water. I follow her, removing the sweater and t-shirt leaving them by a dry semicircle of rocks, where I find Sulli's clothes laid out as well. I hesitate to remove my jeans but she's only in lingerie so I leave them as well. 

The water is cold at first touch, but quickly warms to match my body temperature. She's waving her arms across the surface, feeling the water between her fingers. If I didn't say she was beautiful, I was denying myself the pleasure of doing so. We weren't very deep in the water, but it felt like we were miles away from home. 

"Why are we here?" 

"I think you deserved an adventure before the storms hit, Taemin Lee." She giggled.

And with simple conversation and light splashing, we enjoyed each other's presence. Who had more fun was something I did not know. But at some point, when we were drenched and laughing, she climbed out of the water, with her lingerie soggy and wet, I could only think of removing it myself but then I remembered Sulli as the little girl next door all those years ago and it stunned me that I only just realized that Sulli had grown up. When we were dried and dressed, the time was between  one-thirty and two. But I did not feel tired. I felt alive.

"Taemin, what day is it tomorrow?" We were laying on the roof of the Honda, staring blankly at the empty dark sky.

"June 18." I answered.

"It's one month until your birthday." 

"Yeah, it is. I can't believe you remembered." And I couldn't really.

"I never forget. Not the important things that is." 

"So I'm important?"

"Yes. I love you." She said it as though the words just casual words like "and" or "just". But they weren't. I rolled on my side, facing her and her expression was calm like her tone of voice.

"I love you too." I may not ever get another chance to say it, and in the darkness with just the waves in the distance and the sand blowing in the wind, the light hit her face in all the right angles and our breathing matched evenly. It was a perfect moment.

"You say that now." She smiled sadly, letting her head rest on my chest as her eyes closed. I kept an arm around her, never wanting to let go. Maybe I was just hoping that she would still be there in the morning, and when I felt tired enough, I fell asleep as well.

___________________________

The sun's light forced my eyes open to face the day, but the spot where there was supposed to be heat felt cold and empty. She was gone. She had left once again. Just like that. In an instant, I remembered everything from last night, and she said she loved me and I said I loved her too. The Honda was still there, and the keys were there as well, so she probably walked. But she left. 

My phone said it was almost ten in the morning, and my parents would find out that I wasn't home soon. So I drove home, parked the Honda in it's usual spot, wondering if Sulli was home. But I ditched the idea of even checking, and opened my door to see her parents also in the living room with my parents. 

When I entered, the atmosphere broke and all eyes landed on me. My mother came toward me with the same worry and relief that all the adults shared.

"Taemin, Sulli has gone missing."

But she hasn't gone missing. She just left, didn't she?