This was so weird. I don't really know what happen... How do I say this? Where should I start? Um... Let's start with who I am.

My name is Kim Junmyeon but just call me Suho. I am dead about 15 minutes ago. I don't really know I am dead or not but all I knew is my heart stopped beating and something ripped out from my body and then I'm standing beside my body. I could see my body drenched in rain and blood in the middle of the street. It was raining. I saw Lay ran into my lifeless body. He was crying so hard while hugging my body.

Why was he crying?

I will do anything to prevent him from crying and protect him from pain since I am his protector. But, what can I do if his source of pain is no other than me. I really would do anything for him. I even would die for him. Like now.

I died because I saved him from that stupid truck. I pushed him away and here I am. Dead. I regret many things but the most things I regret were how I died. My dead was really common. I mean, how many movie you saw about a person who tried to save his loved one from crashed by a car and he was the one who dead instead. Really common, huh?

When I tried to touch Lay. My hands were restricted and I into darkness. So, now I'm floating without direction in this darkness. I’m all by myself in this darkness. My body felt so numb, I can't really feel anything except my heart squeezed painfully. My thought was still occupied by him. My bestie, Lay.

I'm a 7 years old boy. I don't really know what love is. My mom said I was not old enough to understand what does love means. But, I just know that I love Lay with all of my heart. Every time he's with me I feel so warm and there something fluttering in my stomach. Many people said that when we fall in love there's a butterfly in our stomache but I'm not sure that fluttering things is butterfly or not... It could be a dragonfly because I love dragonfly. Lay and I used to play in the forest to catch a dragonfly.

We were a neighbor back then. He moved to Korea from China when I was 2 years old. Lay real name is Zhang Yixing. I called him Xing-xing or Lay, he preferred Lay because it's manlier. We always together and I always protect him. I am his protector, so he called me Suho. We played football, sing and dance together.

We used to watch a music event on TV. I was busy listening while Lay imitated the dancer. I always spent that 5 year of my life with him. I never told anyone about my feelings for Lay except my sister. She was so angry when she knew I was in love with Lay and she told me I should fall in love with girl instead. I don't know how to fall in love. I don't even know how I ended up fell in love with Lay.

This morning Lay told me his grandpa arranged a marriage for him with his grandpa business partner daughter. Lay will marry her when they turn 17. When he's bigger he will take over his grandfather business tycoon that's why his entire life has been arranged perfectly by his granfather. She was lovely and Lay was happy. And me?

I felt jealous and angry. I only want him for myself. I know I am selfish but I don't care. I was frowning all day long. We were arguing about that girl when we go to our usual playground then suddenly we were at the middle of the street and... CRASH!

Everything went blank...

I can see my dead body...

And here I am...

Floating.

I still could see his smile, his dimples, his cute hair and his face. I still could hear his soft voice, his gentle laugh. I knew I would never saw him again. I'm dead now, I need to let go and wish him the best.

No! Your time is not up.

“Who is that? What do you mean?”

You are dead but you'll gonna see him again.

“W-what? I don't understand.”

Don't worry you'll understand someday. Good luck Junmyunnie~ don’t mess up this time~

I felt my body swallowed into darkness. I could see my hands fading. Pain shot through all of my body. The first time I tried to  do was open my eyes but my eyes felt so hurt. When I finally opened my eyes all I could see was people dressed in white. 

"Congratulation Mrs. Kim you had a beautiful daughter." That doctor who holding me talked to a woman. Then he gave me to that middle aged woman.

"Thanks God she was saved. I'm going to name her Eunmyeon" She smiled at me.

What the?! When I tried to tell that woman my name is Junmyeon but I can’t. I can't talk. When I tried to scream all I could hear was my crying voice. I looked at my little hands and those big people. This cannot be...

 I. Am. A. Baby.