Honestly, Jessica's five seconds away from taking an outright photo of this woman, not even bothering with hiding it behind the lie of a text message, when Tiffany sits back in her seat. There are three heart beats, (equivalent to one of Tiffany's because Jessica's heart will not slow down) and Tiffany is abruptly lying on the floor rolling in pain. What the MAC foundation? Jessica rushes out of her seat hurriedly, kneeling down to examine Tiffany. 

   "Tiffany, oh my god, are you okay?" Tiffany sits up, checking on her bloodied hands from attempting to catch her fall. No! Her perfectly manicured hands! Jessica's lost all hope in humanity, and Vietnamese nail salons. 

   "Yeah, wow, uhm, that hurt." Tiffany's voice is shaking, and breathy, and Jessica feels shivers run along her neck, no, not that kind, just worried shivers.

   Yeah, worried, totally. 

   Jessica wants to ask how her chair magically ended up tipping backwards, she wants to, really, but somehow she knows now isn't the time.

    Or maybe it's because Tiffany has now burst into tears. 

   Things Jessica isn't good at: comforting people, and not being fabulous. 

    "C . . . Can you stand or anything?" Tiffany's sudden bout of tears cools quietly, and she wobbles on her legs for a few seconds . . . until collapsing once more. If that wasn't enough, she manages to tug on Jessica's new Calvin Klein snake skin scarf, pulling her down, along with tearing the (expensive) fabric. Jessica would be mad, she really, really, really, wishes she could be mad, but no, she can't, because she didn't hit the hard, unforgiving asphalt. She fell on Tiffany. Tiffany, a woman she's just met, and falling on people really didn't make the best first impression. Unless you're like, Daniel Henney, then, yeah, anybody would be okay with that. 

    And now Tiffany's crying even more. Great. Jessica's attempts at getting up is easily intercepted by her snake skin scarf, a thread strapped heavily around Tiffany's cardigan button. 

   "Okay, that didn't work." Jessica breathes in deeply, her trembling fingers reaching up to try and the beige cardigan. Gentle, blood stained fingers wander over her own, assisting with the undoing. Jessica feels her face heat up. that's normal, though, right?

    Totally normal. 

    It comes undone quickly, and they both scramble up back into their seats. Jessica looks down to her hands, blood smudges and all. She cringes quietly, rubbing her hands not so discreetly against her jeans. They weren't designer or anything. Okay, yeah they were, and now she looks like some kind of fashionable ax murderer hobo. Whatever, her hotness could overcome any homicidal tendencies. 

  "Did I get blood on you?" Jessica shakes her head, her hands rushing to be rid of the red. 

  "No, no, of course not. This must be from my uhm, jelly doughnut." Tiffany turns her eyes suspiciously to the other woman's side of the table, her expression incredulous. 

   "You didn't order a jelly doughnut. Actually you didn't even order a regular doughnut, all you have is -- " She leans forward, squinting her eyes.

   "A bowl of shredded cucumber, and a cup of caramel coffee." Her eyebrows scrunch up softly. 

   "And it doesn't even look like you ate any of the cucumber . . . almost like you just stabbed the pieces repeatedly with a fork." Jessica shoves the bowl off the table, the crash echoing in her ears. 

   "I have no idea what you're talking about." Her mind races for another topic. She couldn't let her secret hatred become, well, not a secret. God, why was this so hard? All those years spent in front of a mirror could never prepare her for socializing. Think, Jessica, think . . . of course! 

   "Anyway, Mario told me to give you a tour of the area, so, let's get going!" Tiffany hesitates for only a moment. She smiles, (cutely) sliding off the moderately expensive picnic chair to accompany an already moving Jessica.

   High up in a tower,  an angry voice shook with rage, bright orange eyebrows furrow deeply with hatred. 

  "He's forming an alliance. We must pick them off, one by one!" A deep rumble bounces of the asbestos infested walls.

  "Wario! Waluigi!" The two men scramble forward, kneeling respectively in front of the mutated turtle. 

  "I need you both to complete a task for me. It's simple enough, even for a pair of idiots like yourselves." They nod feverishly, agreeing in harmony. 

   "Kidnap the girls. Take a few goompas." He tossed a handful of mushroom-like objects at Wario, a few slipping out of his hands and landing on Waluigi. They stumble out of the tower, confused but eager to please. Just how Bowser likes them.