Fine

Every day is the same old routine. His friends say he needs to get out and experience new things. He puts a smile on his face and say he fine. He says he's content wiht his life the way it is. And the more he says this he more he starts to believe it's true. There was nothing he could have done.

She was in love with his bestfriend, not with him, and he didn't want to be an obstacle on her road to love. His friends worry, but there was nothing they could do. They don't know why he's become this way. They don't know he's suffering from heartache.

He'd see her and smile, joke around like seeing her with him isn't killing him on the inside, and she doesn't have a clue. In her eyes, he was just a friend. In her eyes, he would always be, Jongwoon, the man she goes to when she needs a shoulder to cry on. But her tears aren't what kills him, it's knowing that she knows he's cheating on her but stays with him regardless.

Day in and day out he says he's fine. Every day he leaves the house full of memories of her. Not a single room is without her ghost. The more he stays there, the crazier he feels. Her voice lingers the halls. Her laughter echoing through the house.

They say she's getting married soon, and he's the best man. On the outside he smiles and congratulates them, on the inside his heart feels as though it's going to explode. regardless of his pain, he pretends to be fine. Clueless she hugs him, telling him she's glad he's happy of her. Again he just smile, locking all the pain he feels deep within him.

Faking an appointment he holds her for the last time before walking away. He will not cry because he's fine. He will not cry for he regrets nothing. He will take his love to the grave. Each step he takes puts her further out of his reach but he doesn't care, she was never attainable.

Overlooking the small town he lives in he contimplates ending it all. Ending the pain, ending all his suffering, ending everything. No one would notice anyway, he thinks walking towards the edge. Just one more step, one more step and it would be the end. But someone was holding onto him. Small hands attatched to small arms. The person cries, and he knew he was being cruel to her. Little Nina who had no one but him. Litttle Nina who never had a family before he found her. Don't go, she wails. Don't leave Nina too she sobs holding him as tightly as she can.

Nina would never had found him if she were by herself, he thought. Turning he saw the woman he had least expected. The wowan who had made the woman he loved miserable, Jung Hyerim. As expected she's smirking again. Never had he seen such a beautiful woman with such a cold heart.

If you're going to jump then jump, she taunts. Looking at the small child by his side he shakes his head. It's fine, he chants in his head taking the hand of his savior he walked away. Away from the cruelness of the woman's laughter and away from what would have been the biggest mistake of his life had he gone through with it.

Watching as their backs disappear from sight she sighs. Her facade dropping as their backs disappears. He was in love with another who wasn't her. Who could love someone like me, she thinks walking towards the edge he was just on. Looking at the lights of her hometown she feels like crying, but she doesn't. It doesn't matter if no one loves me, she whispers into the night. It doesn't matter if I'm the most hated person in town she says. It doesn't matter anymore, I have nothing left to lose she shouts, finally letting the tears fall, letting all the hurt consume her. It doesn't matter anymore,she whispers again taking the final step off the edge.

He returns only to see her fall. He runs towards her. They were not friends, but she had saved his life. They had no relation with each other but he knows she loved him. She had been cruel, but he had been crueler. He had friends but she had no one. Everytime she tried to reach out, every one would push her away because she was different. He now know her only protection against this cruel world and it's cruel people was to be cruel back at it.

He was too late, she had already fallen out of his reach. Fruastration, anger and disgust at himself he screams into the night.Thunder roared, lightning flashed and rain poured as though the world was mourning the death of the woman it had mocked. Whether it was rain or tears, he did not know. He does know the heartache he suffered was nothing compared to hers. Everyday of her life she was rejected, every day she struggle to obtain happiness, but all that she had found was rejection and pain.

Memories flood his thoughts as though they were just yesterday.

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Disgusted stares and harsh whispers were directed at her. It has been this way ever since she could remember. She knows everyone hates her for her mother's mistake, but because her mother took her own life, she is now the victim of everyone's disgust and scourn. Even the man that was once her father looks upon her with hatred and disgust.

Even with though everyone hates her, there was one who stood by her side. He wiped her tears and made her laugh. He was her light in the dark. He knew he was the only one she had. He promised her he would be by her side, and she believed him.

then one day her light died and she was left alone in the dark.

'Oppa!' He remembered her calling out to him not taking note of the other students around him. 'What do you want, orphan?' he snarled at her, disgust in his eyes. He knew what he had done, and he knew what he was destroying, but what mattered most were the people surrounding him, not the girl- no orphan standing in front of him. 'W-what do you mean?' she had stuttered. 'We always eat-' 'Shut up! i want nothing to do with you! I don't want to be round trash like you. Don't ever talk to me again.' He remember interrupting her, tearing her world apart.

'Why are you saying those things?' She asked, and again he remembers her trying hard not to let her tears fall. 'Because you deserve it' he said, as the other students laugh at her grief strickn face.

Hurt and disbelief flood through her as his words destroyed her world from the inside out, but she would be strong. She will not show him how much she was hurting. Unbelievable how one boy can have so much power over her. Turning her hurt into anger she snarled lunging at him only to be thrown back by the student body. Indifferent to the betrayal reflecting in her eyes, he laughed walking off with the othe students.

~~~

"Please listen to me, I had no choice, they were going to kick me off the soccer team if I didn't do that," he pleads.

Instead of accepting his appology as he had expected, she laughed. Her eyes red either from crying or madness he does not know.

"Leave," she says shutting the door on him and their friendship, and he leaves regretting his choice now that he lost a friend.

~~~

Walking to the roof as the other girls had instructed, he gaped at the sight in front of him. Laying on the ground in front of him bloodied and bruised was the the girl he loved. Parts of her uniform torn exposing the bruises forming on her body. Covering her with his uniform he looked at the other person on the roof.

"would you look at that, Prince Charming has come to rescue his princess." She said voice cold and void of emotion.

"Why?" He asks for he could not imagine her to do something so cruel and she laughs.

"Because this is what the you deserve." She replies throwing his words back into his face as she walked away.

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Why had he not notice she was also covered in bruises? Why did he not notice her limping until after all this time? He asks himself.

Why? Always the question asked. Never what happened. Each and every time sometthing happens he assumed it was because of her. But now he thinks maybe not all was what it seems. Her pained voice echoes in his head as he looked down the endless slope of the canyon 'it doesn't matter any more, I have nothing left to lose.'

It was his fault, he knows. If he had chosen friendship over popularity, she would still be here. If he weren't so caught up in the beauty that was never going to be his, he would have noticed the one that was always by his side.

But now it's too late. She's gone and all he has left of her is his memories.

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It's fine he chants as he stands next to the groom. It's fine he whispers as the bride walk down the aisle. It's fine he thinks through the wedding. Though he still love her, he now knows it was only because he was punishing himself for hurting her. To love someone who does not love him, to have his heart shattered because she was in love with someone else was what he had been using all this time to punish himself.

It's fine he whispers when Nina was killed because of his carelessness. It's fine he says when the people he called his friends walked out of his life. It's fine he whispers when his house burned down and he was left with nothing. It's fine he replied when he was asked to transfer to a different office out of town. Beacause that's all he can say to make the days pass a little faster, the nights a little less colder and the memories a little less painful.

Because this is what I deserve, he chants to himself.

END

Edited and changed a few things, hopefully it's a little better than before. I might write a sequel to this sometime soon. comments are appriciated :)