Prologue;

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[05.30.96]



"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Himchan, happy birthday to you!" Cheers erupted around him as he blew hard on his candles. 



"Hey wait! You're supposed to make a wish first," his mother said, giving her son a small nudge on the head. Himchan shook his head with confidence.

"Mom, I'm already six. Everyone knows that birthday wishes don't come true!" 



His mother laughed at the adorable pout his son was giving off. "Okay fine, but you know what will grant your wish?" she whispered with a wink. She motioned for Himchan to follow and together they sneaked past the crowd to the backyard. The night was clear and stars glistened, making it even prettier. 



"Look at that Himchan, you see that one star that shines brighter than the rest? That's a wishing star. It makes all wishes come true but only for good boys. Are you a good boy Himchan?" 



Himchan's eyes widened with delight and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah!"



"Okay, then you can tell your wish to the stars."

Himchan closed his eyes and clasped his hands together. "I wish that er...I wish...Mom, I don't know what to wish for," Himchan turned back to his mom in confusion. 



"Well Himchan, it's not every night that we see a wishing star. If you don't take the chance now, it may be a long while before we see it again."

Himchan pondered on what his mom had said and immediately his face lit up.

"Okay then. I wish that the star will always be there to grant my wishes whenever I want it to!" Himchan looked triumphant, jumping up and down at his own brilliance. His mother raised a questionable brow before pulling him in for a big bear hug.

"You are just too cute!"

[06.24.03]


They returned to the house after her funeral ended. The silence between the two echoed painfully, every second hurting more than the one before. The boy didn't know what to do. His adoptive mother's death was so sudden and unexpected, at least to his father it was. He had prayed, no, pleaded for it to leave him be, let him finally find the bit of love that he was denied of since birth. This was the longest. It lasted a month. 



"So you agree to adopt Yongguk? He does have a questionable record you know," the nun asked.



"Yes.”
The woman beamed at her husband before turning back to the nun.

"I've watched him these past few days and I'm certain he will be the best son that I can ever ask for." 



"Chaerin, are you sure that you want to adopt him? He's already fourteen and look at how many times he has returned here," her husband whispered to her.

 "Don't you think that there are other children that are more suitable for us?”
Chaerin stared hard at the man beside her.



"Kang, this child is more than suitable. He’s exactly what I hoped for. He has been void of love for a long time. I want to fill in that void. He’s an absolute angel that needs a family and I am going to give it to him."

Unknown to the bickering couple and the patient nun, just outside the door a boy was crying. Yongguk wiped his tears carelessly with the back of his gloved hand. Though he was crying, joy overwhelmed him. Someone wanted him, enough to ignore his past. Yongguk had not met the owner of the voice that defended him yet but he knew that he would do anything for her. Yongguk wanted to be the son that the woman had always wanted. 


”Thank you. Thank you for wanting me. 

”

"Get out." He did not move.



"Dad, please."



"Don't you dare call me ‘dad.’ You are not my son."



"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he said through his tears. The boy took a small step forward towards him, reaching for his hand.


No. Not again, please don't do this to me.

The man pushed him away ruthlessly, his face contorted with anger and sadness. 



"I should have known. The nun told us you have been sent back to the orphanage countless times. There must have been a reason why none of them wanted you. I should have stopped Chaerin from taking you in but now it's too late. She is gone because of you!" 



He staggered over to the table, picking up the cup that his wife gave him for Christmas. On it was a picture of them together on their first ski trip. They had promised each other that they would go every year after that. A tear rolled down his cheek. 



"You killed her," he said, his grip tightening.



"No please, it's not like th-"



"You are a curse! You wanted my family and you got your way. My family is dead in your hands! You killed Chaerin. You killed Chaerin!" 


He flung the cup at him and heard a dull thud before the cup shattered as it crashed onto the floor. His eyed widened at what he had done.

In front of him, Yongguk stood frozen, his hands hanging limply on his side. He did not try to block what was coming at him and it hit him mercilessly. Blood trickled down slowly, leaving trails of red behind on the side of his face. Yongguk could feel his head pounding from impact but it was nothing compared to the guilt he felt. Kang's hands shook uncontrollably, his breath uneven, staring at pieces of the broken cup before looking back up to Yongguk. 



"Get out," he ordered once again. This time he abided and ran out of the door. Yongguk sprinted without stopping, his adoptive father's words still ringing in his head. 



It is my fault. I shouldn't have let it happen. I should've known better. 



He ran until he reached the riverside and by then it was already dark. The night sky was unnaturally clear tonight as if laughing at his loss. The stars twinkled shamelessly, with one especially bright and that was the one Yongguk was looking for.



"Star! You've won! This game is over! I have nothing left for you to take!" 



The Star shimmered at his words. He let out a derisive laugh at its response and yanked the one glove off his left hand and threw it on the ground. Yongguk raised his hand level to his face so that it could see the back of his hand clearly. Engraved on his skin was what seemed like a tattoo of a star with a sword entangled within it and on its tip was speckled blood. 



"Look! It's still here! The curse you have given me! You've taken everyone that has ever shown me love, what more do you want from me?!"

Memories flashed across his mind. Every smile, every hug, every sign that showed that they cared was short-lived. They all disappeared at unplanned intervals but they all leave eventually.

Why hadn't he learned? Why didn't he accept the fact that it was impossible for him to receive love? The Star was selfish. Its servant belonged to the Star and only the Star.

If Yongguk had realized earlier, Chaerin wouldn't have died. No one would've. Yongguk fell to his knees, tears escaping him once again. 


"Please...I give up. I will obey," he sobbed. "I won't let anyone come close to me again. Please just don't let anyone else die because of me...Star..."


Author's Thoughts:

Hello! ^^

This is an angst fanfic~ Haha. My friends say that it's really good & that I should re-post it.

The OTP BangHim fits so squarely with the story and I could NOT resist.

I hope you guys smile, laugh, or maybe cry? Haha~ I don't know! ^^

THIS WAS A 37-PAGE ONE SHOT.

But, I will divide it into 2-5 parts at most (?)

Ahh~ I'm rambling too much! 

Updates come every other day! [or daily~ It depends!]

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❤ Nuella