"I loved you from the second I laid my eyes on you"

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Do you believe in love at first sight?

        Frankly speaking, the question stated above is utterly familiar, over-used perhaps. Thinking about this question, I can’t help but shamelessly agree and am proud to say that : Yes, yes I do believe in love at first sight, no matter how cliché, no matter how much it has been used for romantic flicks, novels, and basically just about anything that can equate to young love. After all, that’s how I fell in love with him.

Monday ; 4:50 p.m.

        The moment my shift was over, I immediately got a grip on my bag, slung it over my shoulder and bid everyone goodbye at least for the day. As soon as I got out of the confines of the café, I soon began to realize that I have been missing on the outside world quite frequently, considering the fact that I’ve been to consumed over my job a little bit too much. Instead of doing the usual routine of heading over to the station on where I will ride a train for me to finally rest on my apartment, something welled up inside me to walk a little bit slower, and just appreciate the surroundings that I have been missing out on quite a lot.

        I raised my head up and my face was soon met with a beautiful sky that was painted in the tone bordering orange and yellow. The sun was soon about to set. It was a rare and unusual sight to see, but nonetheless, perfect. Inhaling, I also sensed the streets were perfumed with an odd combination of fresh pine and lilacs. For that one moment, I noticed that I live in such a vividly made world, yet I seldom take the chance to explore it.

        Taking Chances.

        Suddenly, I processed out those two words that bothered me and every single fiber of my body. Still lost in my thoughts, I asked myself : When was the last time I took a chance? When was the last time I made a risk hoping that it would flourish to something as beautiful as the painted sky, leaving the feeling of satisfaction that fills my every cell with undying happiness? Lately, I’ve been occupied with nothing but my job, and a struggle for survival.

        Snapping out my trance, I began to see something beyond the environment. I saw several nameless faces either as couples or in groups, all having a pure sense of enjoyment.  Happiness was spread across their face as they were chatting. I felt something build up inside of me. Is it the regret that I don’t have much people to share my happiness? Or was it because I felt alone?  I had no clue. Instead, I just passed by, unconsciously observing the people who are full of life. How I wish I was one of them. But like I said, I was another person who stayed on the safe side. I guess that’s just where I belong.

        Not after a few aimless strolling, I finally reached the station quite a bit early. Unlike the outside world, the train station was dull, nothing but busy people bustling through the crowd and minding their own business. Something that immediately described my life, I joked to myself sarcastically, biting back at how lonely I must’ve seemed. Since my tired legs weren’t quite agreeing to me standing up while waiting, I decided to sit myself down on the bench that was provided near the wall. I glanced at my watch and figured that the train wouldn’t be arriving anytime soon. I stared at the empty floor for a good five minutes, and yet it immediately got me bored, near to death. I sighed as I fished out my phone, and plugged the earphones to my ears, playing a song that I wasn’t even familiar of. I rubbed my nape and leaned on the wall, stretching out my legs a bit, enough to make me feel comfortable on my current position. I looked up at the concrete ceiling that had a rough surface, wondering about the insignificant things on why they didn’t decide to make it smooth edged or why didn’t they decide to make it out of something else. I shook my head from the spontaneous thoughts, and ventured on the more serious ones.

        Again, I find myself remembering the question that I asked myself moments ago.  When was the last time I took a chance? Honestly speaking, I don’t think I have ever taken a serious one, nor did I ever take a risk that was executed without thinking. I guess that’s just how I am, I’m not cut out for being the adventurous one, I prefer to be a wallflower, one that blends in with the crowd, but there’s this growing feeling inside of me that’s curious about the experience and the excitement of taking chances, having a great journey, and will be more than open and crave for some more.

        I suddenly cut through my thought the moment I felt a slight touch that grazed my foot by accident. It was just another passer-by who occupied the farthest end of the bench that I was currently placed on. I took a supposedly quick glance that later turned into a stare of admiration. From my view, I saw an angel. I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but alas, it was reality. He was just sitting peace, with a book perched atop of his lap, eyes reading through the thin, delicate pages of what seems to be a novel. Carefully observing him, though trying to make it seem subtle, I saw how his eyes glinted as he read gleefully through the pages, and flipping through the pages, excitement evident across his face. I couldn’t help but be infected by the smile that was perfectly curved, if I must say. Was this what people call “Love at First Sight”?

        Maybe I was just drawn by his cheery disposition, which opposed my own. I didn’t have a concrete answer, and yet I found myself gazing in awe, trying to steal glances, and feel the butterflies in my stomach quickly spreading across every single fiber that was present in me. Embarrassing enough, He caught my stalking eyes and by reflex, I immediately turned away, feeling the rush on hot blood flow to my cheeks, leaving it with a crimson shade. I could feel him chuckle lightly from my peripheral, and I wished that I could rewind and not get carried away with my eyes. Again, I attempted to peek, but was met with his eyes. Those eyes that filled were with so much mystery and adventure that I want to explore. Even for that mere second that my eyes met with his, it gave a different and more indescribable feeling, something very foreign that even I myself do not have a name for, but for whatever in the name of Christ this new feeling is, I am liking it every single bit.

        And then suddenly, I pretended to listen to music while He pretended to read his book. I could see from the corner of my eyes him fiddling with the corner of the same page that has been opened for quite some time. We’d sometimes steal a quick look, and we’d also sometimes share one at the same time that caused us to turn our heads away, feeling quite shy about it. It was as if he was expecting something from me, his eyes were speaking by itself and I could easily understand what it was trying to convey. We would make contacts with each other’s brown orbs, and yet we were both reluctant to start something. Instead, we were just consistently filled with sparks that ignited in our hearts every time our eyes would meet. Was it something mutual? Was he actually feeling the same way that I feel? Now, I wasn’t backing out from staring at him in awe. I could see him fumbling something inside his bag. A pen and a small piece of paper. I grinned slightly as I saw him scribbling words down.

        Like a click, I thought that this moment might be the time that I should take a chance. There is this strong feeling inside of me that this would develop to something new, something amazing. He folded the paper, and just held it in his hand firmly. I wanted to walk over to the other end of the bench, I wanted to talk to him, to know more of him, to be with him like it was the last hours of my life. I had this unusual strong will of wanting to venture the world with that one man, take the risks and be more than happy to do it all over again for as long as it made us content, happy, satisfied , and most of all, it made if it made us feel like we’re one. Instead, I did nothing. As usual, I waited for something to happen, I noticed the ticking of the clock, and the thumping of my heart racing quite fast, but nevertheless, just waiting. Am I not capable of taking a new chance? Or was it because I’m scared that this will just be nothing but momentary happiness that will soon vanish and fade into dust?

        Before I knew it, the opportunity was over. The train arrived, just exactly fifteen minutes that seemed like a lifetime for the two of us who were just sitting. I swallowed the dignity I had left, and felt a big emptiness in my heart. I let a chance slip from my hands again. I gripped the straps of my bag, stood up and walked to the doors of the train. I admit that I regret what seems to be the possible source of my happiness, but that was just who I am. I didn’t even bother looking back, for I was afraid of whatever look of pained disappointment that would be forever carved in my mind and will be kept in a small box in my thoughts, which will always be remembered, but regretted nonetheless. I entered the train and I felt the door behind me close, and I turned facing the glass. To my surprise, there he was, sticking with his palms the note that he took down on the tiny piece of paper. He had a silly grin pasted on that perfect face of his, and I couldn’t help but smile back at him, the train started to move slowly forward, and so did he making sure that I clearly saw the words that was written down delicately. The train accelerated it’s speed, and soon after the sight of his was gone, but it didn’t leave me bad feeling after all, the note that he held out made my heart feel a ton lighter.

Same Time

Same Place

Tomorrow

        Like a deranged idiot, I found myself smiling, if not, then giggling, not caring the other’s odd and wondering eyes that were specifically darted towards me. Of course, second chances exist and I was blessed to be given another chance on meeting him. Though I have no single clue or a simple detail about that man, I knew at the back of my mind that I eventually will be able to gather all of these clouding questions in my mind. Lucky would be on word that would awfully describe that moment, and on the way home, I felt a new revival in my heart and in my soul. For the first time in my life, I had a feeling of significance and importance to at least someone who was willing to wait for me same time, same place, tomorrow.

Tuesday ; 4:35 p.m.

        My co-workers thought of me as peculiar because I have been nothing but a pocket full of sunshine, which is the total opposite of my usual demeanor. My tone was cheery, and the way I moved skyrocketed from being boring to perky. Serving a cup of hot chocolate to a customer, I craned my neck to check the time, and I was ecstatic to see that in about less than an hour, I will finally see him once again. For the next ten minutes, I did my job like I never did before. I was full of glee, and full of joy, thanks to him.

         It actually makes me feel funny to not even have the simple knowledge of his name, and yet I find myself swooning over him. The way his chestnut brown locks was disheveled in a messy, but in an oddly neat way. His eyelashes that was lengthy enough to create subtle shadows on his cheeks. The man’s soulful brown orbs that had depth and meaning that only special person would probably be able to decode completely. The way that his lips that were perfectly carved and complimented the whole of his face, and his fair complexion that would immediately draw you in an endless pit of wonders and awe. To me, he was perfect, and I can’t believe that maybe I did fall in love at first sight.

        I retreated in the employee’s room to withdraw my things and will soon be ready to head off to meet the man of my dreams. Before finally breaking free from the café, I was abruptly halted by my manager. He grabbed by arm and I had no choice but to stop and listen.

        “Can you please fill in and finish Hyomin’s shift? She had to go and see her sick mother this afternoon.” He asked, and I wanted to protest. But what will I say? That I will be late in meeting my prince charming? Will my boss even take me seriously once I say that? Stupidity pushed my tongue to say the words that I had no intention of meaning.

“Up to what time is her shift?” My mouth betrayed myself because my brain was thinking the otherwise.
I’m busy as well, I need to see someone.

“No biggie, Just up to 5:30. Don’t worry, I’ll pay you for the extra hour that you’re going to fill in for.” I heard the manager said as he walked away and pat my shoulders.

“Sure! No problem.” I whispered, wanting to beat the life out of me. “It’s only an hour, anyways.”


        At the very moment, I wished I was more daring. I wished that I had the audacity to be able to speak for myself. I wanted to protest, I wanted to throw a fit, but to my dismay, I did nothing but agree to someone’s order. I sometimes think on how I survived and live up to this date not being able to speak for myself.

         Shaking my head out of the anger I felt, I tried my best to think positively. Maybe I would still be able to catch on with Mr. Train Station guy as long as I finish this extra hour quickly. I have this peculiar feeling he would wait. Like I said, It’s only an hour, anyways.

Or so I thought.

Tuesday ; 5:45 pm.

        I’ve never been the athletic type, nor did I have the ability to have all the energy and run as fast as I could, but at the current time, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

        I felt that my legs had a mind of its own, swiftly sprinting trying to make its way through the throng of people that were mindlessly walking. I had no time to waste. I imagined myself with only minutes to live, and that if I didn’t make it to the train station this instant I will lose my life. I could recognize the thin layer of sweat forming on my forehead, and soon turning in to beads and starts to trail down my face, but I didn’t care anymore. My breath was jagged and hitched, my chest felt like it was about to burst from the intense motion and the pace that I was in. Though it wasn’t the trophy type of speed that would win me a medal, it was enough for me to still reach him, hoping that he’d be there at the farthest end of the bench, sitting and waiting patiently.

        While running, I began to create scenarios in my head. Like how I would approach him, despite my tired looks or maybe how he would just suddenly embrace me with the intention of never letting me go, and keeping me safe. I have no idea what would happen, but I know that it might build something totally new to me.

        Only a few more feet to go.

        The idea of stopping and catching my breath was vanished completely. I was almost there. I was so close. Then after a few more of aimless running, there I was, finally at the same place where we first laid eyes on one another. My hands were resting on my knees as I was catching my breath, trying to supply my lungs with the lack of oxygen. As soon as I was satisfied, I looked up. It was the moment that I was waiting for.

        But he wasn’t there anymore.

        It’s not that he didn’t come and wait, I was pretty sure he did.

        Instead of finding that man, there laid a bouquet of white roses on the seat on where he was yesterday. I guess I was too late. I might’ve missed him merely by minutes or even seconds, but the root of it all is that I missed him and the chance of being happy.

         I felt disappointed at myself as I walked over the beautiful roses that were just left there, hoping to be picked up by someone.  I picked it up, and I instantly felt a pang of guilt that spread across my already empty heart. I took a whiff of the rose, and traced the some of the petals with my fingertips. Now, it made me wonder how long he waited, but the thing that bothered me the most the thought of how he must felt thinking that I didn’t have any intention of showing up. He might’ve felt played; he might’ve thought that he was an idiot.

         I guess a guy as near to perfect like he is doesn’t deserve a person who is as dull as me. The gods probably thought that he deserved someone much better than I am, and I couldn’t help but agree. I stared at the flowers once more, and it reminded me so much of him. He might’ve been a stranger since I myself do not have a clue of what his name is, but he must’ve been a special one. He was special in a sense that the thought of him made me feel lighter, made me feel a tad bit more significant. Just like the effect of being given a flower would feel. Although it’s just flowers, it makes you feel like you’re an important person, and the thought of it makes the flower special as well. I found myself sitting down at the bench, feeling beyond empty. All I could do was stare at the flowers, but it’s not like it would do anything.

        In between the roses that were placed, my eyes glinted at the sight of a piece of paper. Curious, I pulled it away from the bouquet. It was a powder blue paper and it seemingly caught the scent of the flowers. I smiled, despite my already lonely mood. I carefully opened the note, and was completely touched by the message.

I think that we’d be extraordinary together

rather than being two ordinary people apart.

        Once more, I could feel a blush creep to my cheeks. I chuckled inwardly because it’s not only he who was thinking about that fact. Yes, I think we’d be extraordinary together. We’d be satisfied and feel complete with one another’s presence, that way we may never pull away. If only caught a glimpse of him, then this wouldn’t be a problem. But for now, we’re just two ordinary people apart, a missing piece of a puzzle.

        Even if we did not get to witness and see each other today, I can say that if we we’re meant to be with each other, then fate would definitely make a way for us to be in the same time, same place, at the same day.  Now, in the back of my mind I have a great intuition that we might meet again. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow, or the day after that. I guess all I can do is wait, and let time take it’s course and just let thing fall into place like it’s supposed to be. I know that I’m in no control of what the future brings, but one thing I am certain is that I want him to be a part of it.

When will I be able to see you again?

Saturday ; 3:43 p.m.

        To be honest, Saturday is the day that I dread working the most. It’s always the day where the café is occupied fully, thus making work even harder than it already is. Having to deal with some nosy, bothersome customer is already nerve-wrecking but not to mention the loads of stress on serving nameless strangers endlessly, well until your shift ends, that is.

        But this Saturday is pretty more subtle than the usual. I noticed that I actually can count with only one hand the tables that had people in it. I like the café more like this because it gives me peace, and space to breathe. It gives a sense of solemn and surreal, which is quite an unusual ambiance or aura for an average café. I found myself just standing at a corner and observing all the types of people that were inside. Some were alone, and some were with people. Looking at them, I can’t help but be reminded of Mr. Train [I decided on calling him this. Childish, but nonetheless cute.]  once more. I started to imagine having a cup of coffee with him while we’re conversing about spontaneous things and event.. Forgive me for the cliché lines, but I really want to see him.

        The bell rang as the door opened and a new customer came in, and I immediately headed back to moving before my boss catches me doing nothing which would risk to losing my job. I was swiftly walking back to the kitchen, when suddenly; I took a quick glance to the door’s direction for some odd reason. Then everything around me just went to a complete blank. A total wipe out, if I must say. It reminded me of those romantic dramas and cheesy novels wherein the leading lady sees the man of his dreams, and she sees nothing but him. But instead, I was the main character, and he apparently just walks into the café I work in.

It had to be fate.

        I was in a state of slight shock and amusement. I didn’t have a concrete plan on what I am going to do. Instead of abruptly approaching him, I decided to lay low and just watch him. I settled in a farther corner, a spot where it could be difficult for his eyes to catch. Again, just like how I saw him, he was reading another book with the same pleasured and delighted smile played on his lips. I couldn’t help but giggle.

        “Are you going to stand there or address our customer?” I heard a voice behind me, turns out it was my manager with a questioning look.

        “M-me? Right!” I tried to avoid eye-contact with my manager, and went straight ahead to him. Before I placed myself in front of his table, I tugged and straightened by apron and slightly ran my hands through my hair. The more I got closer to him, the more I saw how handsome his features are. I took a deep breath when I was in front of him.

        “How may I help you?” I was thankful that my voice didn’t crack and that I didn’t stutter. I managed to keep a steady voice. I found it irresistible on how he was immersed in his own world while reading the novel, unable to notice my presence. As much as I didn’t want to ruin the flow of his mood, I cleared my throat and asked again.

        “O-oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you—“ He put the book down, and it closed by itself. The moment our eyes met, We both felt a click, like a key turning into the lock. We just gazed at each other, for words weren’t significant at the moment. We both smiled. I bit my lips, and tried to look away, but I still find myself staring back at those lovely brown orbs.

        “H-hi.” I managed to croak out, despite my already fluttery and seemingly incoherent system. He said nothing; instead he just looked down a chuckled softly. It sounded so melodic that I wanted to hear it again and again. He swiped his tongue on his lips, and started to fiddle with his fingers. I can see that he too, had no idea that we’d be able to see each other once more. Comfortable silence enveloped us two, but I didn’t mind it at all. It was these significant moments wherein I treasure the most, after all. Just the mere fact of being able to meet him in an unlikely time is already impossible to believe in.

        The rest of the time that he stayed in the café, no words were exchange between us two. Instead, stolen glances, and lingering gazes occurred as well as suppressed giggles. I sometimes caught him staring and he tries to make it less obvious by pretending to read a book. I thought that it added to his charms. Just like that, I was completely into a never-ending pit of undeniable love. That very moment, I knew that I couldn’t pull away, and I wished that he felt the same way.

        My eyes stalked him as he dusted his clothes and started to pile up his things, motioning himself to leave the café. I was hoping for something to happen. Like maybe him sweeping me off my feet and take me away with him, or even just a simple wave of a good-bye, but to my dismay, he left without doing anything. The moment he walked out of the door, I strolled towards his table and began to clean up the empty cup of coffee and the plate with dusts of sugar that must’ve fallen from the pastry that he ordered. As I lifted the plate from the wooden table, I noticed that there was yet another piece of paper that was folded perched atop of it. I placed the plate on the tray and grabbed the note, this time the paper was garnering a soft shade of pink. I opened it, and tried my best to hold myself back from squealing.

I found you.

It must be fate, don’t you think?

I’m Jongup by the way.

        I’m thinking that it only takes one moment of impact and significance to be able to create something beautiful.  Jongup showing up in the café was the moment of impact that struck my heart completely.

        From that first day onwards, slowly, we began to see each other more often, in the beginning just leaving notes on the table before leaving the café , progressing to calling each other to meet up after work and then expecting each other to be there, no matter rain or shine, snow or hail.

        And just like how I imagined it to be, I learned everything about him. We shared secrets and moments, and I fell even more deeply for him. Sometimes I think that we were made for each other, like two sides of the same coin. Even if we’ve already missed the first chances, We still managed to catch the glimpse of one another in order for our relationship to progress to something more meaningful than being in love with a stranger

We were inseparable.

First Monday of the next month; 5:00 p.m.

        I grabbed my bag and checked the contents before I left the café. I bid my manager and other co-workers who were already starting to question who Jongup was and why he was in the café every single day.

        The moment I stepped away from the café, I felt strong arms wrap around me from behind . I didn’t need to look back to know who it was.

        “I want to take you somewhere.”  He whispered against my ear, and I removed his strong hold on my waist in order for me to face him. “Where exactly?”  I pursed my lips and it instantly curled into a smile.”It’s a surprise.” He said, excitement clearly shown in his face.

        We rode a bus and went down on a station that I am unfamiliar off, since I never really indulge myself of travelling, or just going to places outside, really.

        We walked in silence, sometimes stealing glances at the other. I beamed as I realized Jongup was leading me to a beach. In my excitement, I took hold of the other man’s hand and ran down to the shore. We sat down, far enough away from the water to not get wet but close enough that if either one felt a sudden urge to be devious, we could easily push the other into the shallow and dirty pools of water getting pushed back and forth by the waves along the shore.

        Unconsciously, I leaned my body against his, and laid my head on his shoulder.  Suddenly, I remember mentioning to him that I wanted to watch the sun set in the horizon. I didn’t think that he’d actually take it to mind. I stole a glance at him, only to be embarrassed to meet with his eyes. He comfortably rested his head atop of mine, and draped his arms around my shoulders.

        It felt comfortable. I never thought I’d be able to be this close to him. We spent a good hour in silence, like he said; he wasn’t much of a talker. Even if that was the case, I never really minded. The sun was starting to soon fade out of the skies, filling it with the darkness that cloaked all over the city. I bit my lips, and then stood up abruptly. He looked confused and all I did was giggle, splashing a few of water towards him. He flinched slightly, and started to join in. We started to aimlessly try to wet one another, attempting to dodge, but failing to do so. When we were satisfied with our childish games, we retreated back to our spot near the shore.

        The sun was soon replaced by the moon, creating an illuminating effect as it hit the waters. He stared at my eyes lovingly, and I did the same. I laughed softly, the moment was rare. It looked like a scene infringed from a romantic movie. He closed in the gap between us and connected his lips with mine. His lips lingered there for a few more seconds before pulling away. It was a simple kiss, one that signifies a fluttery spark inside both of us. I felt the blood rush through my head and my cheeks were already shaded with the darkest shade of red, or so I thought.

        “Jongup I—“ I was interrupted by another kiss, but this kiss was different. As our lips touch, I can feel his hands pulling me even closer to his body, and soon wrapping it around my waist. I did the same, except I circled my arms around his neck. I felt his tongue swipe against my lips, asking for entrance, and I gladly opened my mouth. I felt my body tingle as his tongue touched my own, and I tugged at his lip nipping at it slightly. I can feel the heat between us arise, and soon after the passionate kiss, we pulled away from the lack of oxygen. I panted as tried my best to easily supply my lungs with air.

        “ I love you.” He said in a low and sultry voice that rang inside my head repeatedly, like a broken record.  My heart felt like it was about to burst from happiness. I felt myself jump at him, and embrace him in a tight hug.

        “I love you too.”

Saturday of..HImchan stopped counting.

        It was a lazy afternoon in the weekend with the sun quickly dying below the city landscape. We were in his cozy bedroom, lounging atop his bed, limbs sprawled all over the place.

        “How did you feel when I didn’t show up that day?” I asked harmlessly. I was curious. It’s been about three months since we started going out, and the question seemed to pop inside my head. “I knew I’d see you again.” He replied silently, while mindlessly reading yet another book. “That’s it? I was obviously fishing for a more romantic answer from him. “It’s just the truth.” He said in a monotonous way. “Ugh, you’re terrible at this.” I said.

         I faced away from him, and I immediately heard the book being laid aside on the bedside table.  I giggled to myself as I felt his sure arms from behind me find their way snaking around my waist, laughing out involuntarily when his fingers both tickled and caressed my exposed sides. My previous annoyance at him ignoring my question was completely forgotten, melted away in his wake.

 “It’s because I knew you were supposed to be mine.”

    Jongup whispered the words in my ear and his hot breath had an opposite effect on me, with cold goose bumps erupting down the skin of my neck. 

       

        It was always like this. It was a touch, a smile, a laugh, a personality, a kiss. That I could never get tired of. Each time it was different, each caress, each word, even intensity, but still I responded in the same way. With a burning desire to quench the thirst my arms felt by wrapping them around Jongup.

        I loved you from the second I laid my eyes on you.

        Unlike any other stories, I can say that our story was different. It has a beginning, middle, but I don’t think it has a particular end. The longer that we stayed with one another, the deeper we fell in love, thus making us continue on walking our journey and I’m gladly looking forward to what more life has in store for us.

When was the last time you took a chance?

“When we’re this young, we have nothing to lose, Just a clock to beat and a hand to choose. “

Author's Thoughts:

I hope this inspired the people who read this to take chances!

It doesn't have to be involved in romance, but in every aspects of life, really. When there is a window of opportunity

then, don't hesitate to JUMP OUT OF THE FOKEN WINDOW.

Hahaha! I love all of my readers <3 

I want to talk to you guys personally! *uglypouts*

You can talk to me via twitter~ [That's where I'm usually existing~]

@hemcheng is my username! And I hope someone takes time to tweet me! ^^ 

BTW, I would love to hear a feedback from you! Don't hesitate to comment below! :3

[I don't usually write fenfiks of himup so idk if i did it write eep! /hides behind Zelo]