Chapter 1

I was enjoying the swing in our school’s playground when a girl walked up to me and sat on the swing across mine. She looked at me with her indescribable face before she strode her feet towards me and handed me a lollipop. Although taken aback, I still took it and smiled.

“Thank you.” I said as I looked down to furrow my brows in puzzlement. I waited for her to say something, like explain why she gave me a candy but I heard nothing. She just sat perfectly still as she placed her gaze on mine. Of course, that had me wondered inside. She was weird, at some point. But I didn’t find that weirdness a bad thing.

“Taeyeon. Kim Taeyeon.”

That smile she plastered on her face, and the way she introduced herself to me just made my heart pound the way it shouldn’t be. Questions started to hit my head during that few seconds.  I was uncertain of what that feel was, but I was sure that there was something that made that few seconds memorable and unforgettable, and my heart flutter.

“Sooyeon. Jung Sooyeon.”

Since then, we became close. In just a short matter of time, we became best friends. We always play together in the playground during break hours. We do our home works in school after class. We hang out during weekends. I met her parents and she met mine. We listen to music together, and I just love the fact that she’s also fond of music.

When I was with her, I felt completely happy and I thought of not wanting to end that bliss. I swear, I have never felt happy with other kids in school the way I was when I was with Taeyeon. I couldn’t explain why because I was just eight then. And it was weird too. But the moment our eyes met and she first held my hand, I knew right then that I was in love. You may hardly believe it, but it’s true.

I was in love.

I went up to my mom’s room that night when thoughts were circling around my head and I just couldn’t sleep. I felt completely bothered with what feel I had inside. And I thought it was a good idea to tell everything to my mom.

So I did.

“What is it, Sooyeon-ah?” asked my mom as she withdrew her gaze from the book she was reading and put them on me.

I slowly walked up to her, contemplating. “Mom…” I paused and jumped on her bed. “I’m going to tell you something.”

“You didn't fail your exam, did you?” she questioned again as she put back her gaze on the book she was reading.

I shook my head and  took a breath before pausing for a moment.

“Can I marry Taeyeon when I get older, mom?”

As if she had heard the most ridiculous word one could ever say, my mom quickly shifted her gaze on me with her amused and terrified eyes.

“You what?!”

“Mommy….I think I love Taeyeon and I want to marry her.”

She let out a chuckle of disbelief while frowning. “Honey, do you exactly know what you’re saying? You know nothing about love yet. You’re too young. And of course you can’t marry her because you’re both girls.” She stated.

“But why not, mommy? The ones who get married are the ones who love each other, right? Like you and dad. I love Taeyeon and she seems to love me too, then why can we not?” I questioned.

 “Because it’s a sin, honey. Girls are for boys and boys are for girls. You can’t just marry her.”

“Mommy….”

“Stop it Jessica Jung Sooyeon! You’re too young to even ask such a thing. Go back to your room!”

Broken-heartedly, I ran back to my room as I was holding back my tears. I dragged my body on my bed and hid under my blanket, trying to rack my brain, asking millions of why’s. Then I cried.

I understood mom. How the hell would she believe that her eight-year-old daughter was in love, right? And that she’s in love with her girl best friend? That absolutely sounded weird and very unusual. But maybe it’s about time to let everyone know, kids are not emotionless, not even heartless. Of course they know what love is. Some kids probably see it the kid way, but as for my case, I’ve seen it in a different way earlier. I may only be eight then and still learning things, but I knew and was certain that I was in love.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt drained and sick. I wanted to ditch class but I had to attend as we were scheduled to take our spring examination that time. My mom sent me to school and she seemed to forget everything that had happened last night. Or I just thought.

Just when the class got over, I went in our rendezvous – playground. There was no one else in the place except for Taeyeon. I saw her seated under the slide and then I walked up to her.

“Hey, what are you doing down there?” I asked.

“Waiting for you?”

“I’m here now.” I went in to join her.

“I know.” She seemed a bit sad, her voice’s a proof.

“Are you okay?” I looked at her and tilted my head. “You don’t sound great today. Got any problem?”

She shook her head then took her gaze away. “Can I ask you something, Sooyeon?”

“Yeah.” I nodded brightly then she looked at me again.

“Can you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“That something that flutters inside you when you’re with the person you like. And you start to question yourself because you shouldn’t feel that way because you’re just only eight.” She sighed and threw a stone on the ground.

I didn’t want to assume, but I felt like the person she was feeling that way for was me. I didn’t utter a word. I just held my gaze to her and listened.

“I think I’m in love..” she said.

I stayed quiet for a while. “With who?”

“…with you.” She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close to her. Her warmth, and the way she gripped me made me tingle inside. That feeling was incredible.

We stayed like that for who knew how long and I kind of missed her warmth after we pulled away. The next thing she did surprised me. She kissed me on the lips and I swear, it made my body stiff and still.

“SOOYEON-AH!!” Quickly, I pulled away from the kiss when I heard a very familiar voice. My heart pounded crazily in fear and I trembled as I saw my mom striding her feet towards us. She grabbed my hand hastily when she reached us and pulled me out under the slide.

Mom threw Taeyeon a deathly stare and pointed a finger at her. “YOU! You stay away from my daughter!”

My heart dropped when I saw Taeyeon looked down, scared, as my mom continued to scold her. I almost cried begging mom to just stop.

“Mom! Stop it! Please!” I pleaded. “Let’s go home mom! Let’s go home…”

“We really are going home!”

I stormed in my room after we arrived home. I locked the door up so that mom won’t get to enter but I guess I’ve forgotten about the holy keys.

“I’m pulling you out of that school! And I’m sending you back to America whether you like it or not! You are leaving tomorrow! Copy that! Pack your things up. Don’t be a disgrace to this family Sooyeon-ah!”

For the first time, the eight-year-old me cried out her tears for the whole day. The fact that I was leaving the next day hurt me. And what hurt me more was the reality of having to end a story that has just begun. Maybe the story was just not meant for me, for us. Maybe it wasn’t really my story, or maybe Taeyeon wasn’t just part of the cast. And probably mom was right, I knew nothing about love...

...because I was only eight.