Prologue

 

Hello world, my name is Kim Taeyeon. I'm writing in this blog so that I can express my feelings,  well, at least that's what the website taught me to. Luckily, no one's going to see this; I made it a private blog, where my fingers can type out all that I keep in when I'm in college. 

 

 

Oh, I'm in Cornwall University, studying architecture as per normal for someone in this line of 'Kim's. My father expected one of us to join him in his mediocre architecture business and I always had a flare for the arts, so instinctively and rather regrettably,  I'm an architecture student who spends most of her nights sipping Coke and snacking on sandwiches whilst fixing up models of fantasy-like buildings till the early morning. 

 

 

But that's not what I'm writing in here for. You see, I've battled this ridiculous chronic illness called 'fear' for the past ten years of my life and using this innovative form of technology for my personal uses might do me good. 

 

 

I have a crush on Taurus. Well that's what me and my small circle of friends call her. She's in all of my classes, sadly and wonderfully at the same time, and she's magical. She is magical in a way that she's both beautiful inside and out. Now that might be a clichéd saying but to me, it's not common at all. Not to mention, I am a girl. And here's what's going downhill in my rollercoaster of a life. 

 

 

I am a girl who was Sunny's friend. Yes, her name is Sunny, born with the name Lee Soonkyu but went with Sunny for some reason. And Sunny and I were like two peas in a pod, we went out together all the time to pick up some food before we pulled an all-nighter and spent those hair-pullingly frustrating nights telling each other stories of our lives. Those were good times. 

 

 

And now it's gone. You know when you feel like you're annoying someone and you feel like you've been a complete doof who gives her half-assed presents for birthdays, and you just drop contact with them after realizing all of that? That's what happened to us, the relationship of us is basically non-existant now. What's funnier is the fact that no one notices, except for my four closest pals. 

 

 

She doesn't notice me. But when we were together, we were so close, wouldn't she notice it if I don't greet her with a pleasant smile and a backhug like I always used to do? Or does she really not like me, does she really think I'm an annoying prick and she just took pity on me? I need an answer that I know I'll never get. I keep distancing myself from her when I so desperately want to be her model buddy again. A model buddy is when you stay up all night, cheering each other on when we're making architectural models. We coined that term, Sunny and I.

 

 

My dear blog, I'm going to get her some day.  And when I do, I swear, I'm going to cherish her forever. I don't mean in a lover way (although that would be better), I mean as a friend. It would take a miracle to get her back, even as a friend, I tremble and shake in fear every time I catch a glimpse of her. 

 

 

Social media is my friend, it definitely is. Now, it's not called stalking when she was my friend, right? Okay, as a confession, I confess that I follow each and every one of her pictures that she posts online. Curiosity killed my dignity, my love for Sunny brought me back to look for more. Fine, I saved some of her pictures in a file titled '<3' too. 

 

 

But I, Kim Taeyeon, will find a way to get her, the social butterfly, the Juliet to my Romeo, the cute blondie, the key to my heart, my beautiful Taurus. Even if it takes an eternity, it'll be eternity well spent. All for my Taurus.

 

 

But God, why did it have to be me? Why did you pick me to be the lesbian?  I haven't even told my parents or any member of my family yet, not my friends either. Those four friends simply think that I have friendship problems, when I know that it's way worse than that. I'm a lesbian and my parents are homophobic, whoop-de-doo. 

 

 

They will probably disown me if I told them, and I'll be the shame of my family. Would it be better if I keep this to myself? Or should I go get my Taurus, Sunny? 

 

 

To be honest, God, I pray to you every night and I ask for you to make me straight so that I won't have to go through this nightmare. I've shed far too many tears and I've wasted too many hours of my life trying to switch my uality to let this go. 

 

 

But why did you make girls so adorable, so attractive and so beautiful? 

 

 

Dear God, for my first blog post, let me send you a prayer: Please, let Sunny be mine. Even if I face social humiliation,  bashing or even ostracism, at least I'll have Sunny. Sunny will keep me strong and Sunny will be my light. Now I know why her name's Sunny. It's because she manages to make me fall in love with her at 299 792 458 m/s, maybe faster, so 299 792 459 m/s?

 

 

You took Tiffany away from me, please don't take Sunny away as well. I love you Taurus, with all my heart. 

 

 

Amen. 

 

 

 

<<<~>>>

 

It is the time for another fanfic that I dreamt up in class! 

 

It's gonna be part love story, part struggle story. 

 

Bc life is such.