Red Strings To Tie Us Together.
Into the Light.Hey Everyone! This is just a short chapter to explain a bit more of Taylor's character and to have a moment with another character. I feel like it would explain her hesistancy with new people a bit better! Hope you enjoy :D
Two days had passed since our journey home from Mato and the hanger had become quite quiet. The two girls who had come back with us spent much of their time with Ken and Hyuk where the ROVIXX were kept. They had apparently been quite good with machinery, something the boys complimented them on. It was nice to see them fitting in so well.
The boys were all in their respective places, either training the new recruits or putting plans together. I wander the hallways quietly, gazing at the walls and thinking to myself. It had already been a couple months since I had joined these boys and become more involved with the plans of rebellions. It was interesting for the most part as well to notice the way my body was changing… The more weight I gained, the more I felt comfortable with myself. The boys hadn’t been pointing it out as much but Hongbin had told me he was proud of how far I was moving ahead.
Even if I was being encouraged by everyone, there was still a part of me that was hesitant of how close I should get to them… I care about them all, but there was a part of me that held everything back and made me hesitant around people, whether they were new or not.
I keep walking until I find the stairs that lead to where the offices were and take a seat on the third step, leaning back against the few stairs above me. I rest my elbows on my knees, cradling my face in my hands as I gaze down at the steps.
Could I really bring myself to put my faith in people again…? I could barely calm my nerves when it came to meeting new people, but it was because I was scared… Too scared to get close to people again… Even when it came to Ravi, there was part of me that held everything back. I didn’t want them to worry about me, nor did I want to worry about them out of the fear of being hurt again.
I roll my eyes to the ceiling, outlining the various stones above me. I stick out my tongue and blow loudly, my frustration getting the best of my awkward actions. When I blow out I suddenly hear a quiet chuckle and I stop myself looking down the steps to see Leo a few feet away from me. His eyes seem amused as he watches me so I smile back embarrassingly, waving at him lightly.
His hands are in his pockets as he takes a few more steps to take a seat next to me. He is about an inch away from me when I look at him and give him another smile.
“Hey, what have you been up to?” I ask him and he smirks.
“Just working on some stuff with Ken…” He answers quietly.
I smile half-heartedly and look forward, half zoning out.
“What’re you thinking about?”
I don’t face him as I take a moment to decide whether or not I should tell him my thoughts… There was part of me tugging at my mind, saying no but another part of me urged to say something.
“I’m scared…” I suddenly say, not moving my eyes to him.
He doesn’t make any acknowledgements, which urges me to continue speaking.
“I can’t help but hold myself back… ‘Cause what if…”
Tears suddenly spring to my eyes as I think about the two sets of parents I have already lost. My imagination gets to best of me as I picture the boys being the next in line to behold this fate. I finally turn to him and I take note of his serious expression as it studies my face.
“What if it’s exactly like before, where I lose one of you… I don’t know if I could handle feeling that again, so I just don’t want to get attached.”
He tilts his head to the side and his thumb his bottom lip as he listens to my complaints.
“But I can’t help it I guess,” I continue as I take a shaky breath, “I already care enough to cry just thinking about that happening.”
I smirk trying to play off my melancholy as he watches me.
“I just need to make sure I protect you guys…” I mumble out as more tears spill onto my cheeks.
He nods, glancing at the tears on my cheeks before I feel his hand press onto my cheek taking the tears away from the corners of my eyes. His hands aren’t soft, but they are comforting against my cheek. I lean into his grasp, closing my eyes for a moment.
“Maybe you should let me protect you instead…” He whispers and I smile at his words.
His hand moves from my cheek to the top of my head and he pulls it down to rest atop his shoulder. I feel my cheeks heat up even though there are still tears in my eyes… he can protect me I’m sure, but every part of me wants to protect him too.
He leaves his hand on top of my head as we sit comfortably on the steps with no interruptions. I let my hand sit on top of thigh, letting tears spill onto his dark grey sweater.
In this moment, I can surely say I am attached to this man, even though I couldn’t understand the magnitude of those emotions… I can surely say that even though I have only been here for a couple of months, I care deeply for all the boys in these hangers who risk their lives to put things into their rightful place. I have to do everything to not live through that pain again, and I would make sure of that… I need to let go of the fear that these boys lost so long ago, because surely it was the only thing holding me back…
I sigh again and Leo runs his fingers through my hair as we stare down the steps.
What could be so wrong with getting attached?
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