I woke up surrounded by the same four walls that enclosed on me last night. My eyes were wide open through my wet eyelashes as I stared at the text from Dongwoo.

“Hoya~ Hyung~ do you want to stay over tomorrow?”

Today we didn’t have school. The seniors get today off as a ‘vocation’ before Graduation in two days. For some reason my heart beat increased after my eyes ran over each letter. Dongwoo.. my only friend.. thank you.. for talking to me..

My eyes scanned over the pink pills as they laid scattered across the table.. I looked at the number of them that were left and I smirked and sighed at the same time. My eyes moved from the table over to the desk.. and the chair.. My eyes scanned over the layer of dust that covered the desk top. The pain along my my wrist shot up my arm and I whinced and groaned as I slowly sat up. The remainder of the uncleaned blood on my arm made it feel sticky against my bed sheets. There were large and small spots of were the blood had fell. I glanced at the couch, and your image wasn’t there. I sighed with relief as I stood up. My feet stumbled from the weight of them as I walked down my hallways towards the bathroom. I turned the knobs of the shower I stepped back and throw my phone on the floor. I watched the water as it sprayed out.. with little drops slapping against the small tile on the wall. Oh no. I feel the anxiety as it starts from my legs and moves up and I begin to shiver. My head feels to heavy to hold up and I clench my fist. I look down and notice the small blue veins as they slowly bulge out, showing through my flesh. My eyes stared at the thin veins like a ing animal and my hands are slightly trembling as they fidget with the handle on the drawer below the sink. I throw it open and I familiar shininess is still there.. staring at me.. with the same blood stains I left on it. I rub my eyes as they begin to feel heavy with water before I slowly pull the blade out. My body jolted when I heard the vibration of my phone against the tile making a loud annoying noise in my ear. I ignore it and place the blade underneath the water, to ‘polish’ it. I heard my phones vibration once more and looked down,

“Two new Text Message!

From: Dongwoo”

The weight in my head started to slowly lift off as I moved my finger over my phone, opening the text.

“Hoya Hyung, annyeong!^^”

The second one:

“hurry up and come over because i’m bored.”

This made me smile, and my shivering fingers slowly let go off the blade. I heard the sound of it as it hit against the tile floor, and my smile started to grow into laughter. I laughed because.. because i’m not entertaining.. I can’t cure your boredom Dongwoo. I laughed because.. because his words.. just felt good to me.

***

I felt like a foreigner in my own town as I searched for Dongwoos house. I was anxious.. and nervous. I was alone.. but I wasn’t lonely. I haven’t been out in a long time so everything looked so unfamiliar to me.. even the streets that I’ve walked down a million times before.. felt unfamiliar. I found his house and I looked around before ringing the door bell. I felt nervous and stiff as I remembered how unusual this is to me.. I tried to remember what I use to do when I went to other peoples homes. I sighed before I heard the door open. I looked up and I felt flustered for some reason.. Dongwoo answered the door. I’ve seen him so many times before.. but he looked different without his school uniform on. He was wearing black skinny jeans with a dark green hoodie.. and his hair was messy.. I don’t know why I felt flustered but it made my palms sweaty and I couldn’t look him in his eyes. I heard his laughter and my body grew warm. What is happening to me?

***

I walked in and looked around.. I looked at everything as I tried to absorb my surroundings.. trying to absorb.. being here. I followed closely behind Dongwoo as he walked into the kitchen. I saw his mom right when we walked in and I immedietly bowed, “annyeonghaseyo, jeoneun Hoya-ieyo” I whiped my sweaty palms on my pants as I awkwardly looked from his mom to everything that can possible make up the kitchen. “nice to meet you Hoya, are you hungry?” My attention turned back to her quickly and I nodded my head, “ye.. yes” I’m sorry this is new to me. I’m sorry.. I’m so awkward.. I’m sorry. Dongwoo laughed as he grabbed a couple of rice balls and two cans of soda. “come one.” Dongwoo said with a smile on his face as he motioned for me to go upstairs. I shifted awkardly from foot to foot.. before hesitently moving each foot slowly in front of me. Are we going to his room? When my foot hit the first step I heard his mom yell out from the kitchen, “Yah dongwoo, I’m heading out, arasso?” Without turning his head back Dongwoo yelled, “arasso!” and kept walking up the steps. I saw his mom from the corner of my eye and I quickling turned around and slightly bowed, “thank you.” She smiled, She smiles like Dongwoo.. it was big and genuine.. “It was nice meeting you, I’ll see you boys later.” she said before closing the door behind her. I looked up to see Dongwoo leaning over the rail of the stair case and it suddenly brought me back to that one memory. I felt a stinging sensation in my heart and I looked away from him as I walked up the stairs.

***

After we ate we played video games and watched a movie, and before I can comprehend what time it is I noticed it was already dark outside. I felt a tug on the hood of my sweater, “Hoya! kaja!” Dongwoo said as he pulled me along beside him by my sweater with laughter. I didn’t reject or complain, I just followed him all the way down his stairs.. and I followed him as he led me outside. Where Dongwoo lived it was quiet. He led me to an open field. The only light was from the moon and the stars, I don’t know where I am so I stuck close beside Dongwoo. He melted his body into the grass, leaving me standing above him. He tugged on my pants leg, “Hoya~” I nodded my head and layed by body down beside his as he both looked up. There was no sound beside the wind and the soft chirping of crickets. I ran my hand over the thin blades of grass as I looked at a specific star. To me it looked like the brightest stars among all of the speckled stars next to it. “Ahh it feels so good out here!” Dongwoo said excidingly. His attitude.. his demeanor.. it never changes.. he is always so happy.. your just like him.. in so many ways.. that it hurts sometimes to be beside you.. I felt a small sting in my eyes and I looked away from Dongwoo. Even in the darkness.. the moonlight just so happens to make your smile perfectly visible. “Hoya~” “ne” “You see that star?” he said as he pointed to one I was looking at. I nodded my head, “Hoya~ this moment.. that star is bright and beautiful..

"but it will eventually die and lose it's shine." I mumbled under my breath.

"but as it is right now.. is how it wants you to remember it.. it’s how I want you to remember it.. not as any star that will eventually die.. but as the one that shines the brightest.” I didn’t know what he was talking about.. I felt a soft touch brush against my fingers and I quickly turned my head towards Dongwoo.. before I could say anything I felt his lips pressed against mine.

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Sorry for any errors! Thank you for reading <3 <3 <3