To say that Doojoon was surprised, would not completely convey what he’s really feeling inside.

 

 

He was surprised, yes, but he’s also confused, speechless and mostly ridiculously happy.

 

 

“Aren’t you gonna let me in?” Junhyung asked silently, fiddling with the hem of his hoodie and looking at everywhere but Doojoon’s face.

 

 

“Uh – yeah, sure, of course. Just – yeah, just come in.” Doojoon cleared his throat, stepping aside to let the younger boy in his apartment.

 

 

He stared as the younger boy roamed around his living room, wary and cautious, like he was scared.

 

 

And it’s all Doojoon’s fault why Junhyung is like this – like the latter regretted coming over.

 

 

Like he regretted that they were ever together.

 

 

They still are though – together, I mean – but ever since Doojoon’s stupid mistake, Junhyung rarely visits anymore, even more rarely than before.

 

 

“Yours,” Doojoon said, trying to chase away Junhyung’s fear.

 

 

Junhyung whipped around to look at Doojoon, a look of hope crossed his face and Doojoon mentally cursed.

 

 

Because Junhyung shouldn’t have to hope.

 

 

Because Doojoon is really Junhyung’s.

 

 

Forever.

 

 

“Only yours.” Doojoon repeated gruffly, closing and locking the door behind him.

 

 

Junhyung nodded at that and he finally had enough strength to take a seat on the couch and not leave.

 

 

“I – I know.” Junhyung stuttered, giving the older boy a tired and sad smile.

 

 

“No you don’t!” Doojoon growled, making Junhyung wince, and he took three long strides to Junhyung and lifted his chin so that the latter will look into his eyes.

 

 

Doojoon knows he’s ed everything up, ed up big time. Twice. And Junhyung doesn’t deserve him.

 

 

Because Doojoon’s an and a bastard and a cheat and Junhyung really deserves better.

 

 

Junhyung deserves to be laughing, teasing, happy and loved

 

 

Junhyung deserves the best.

 

 

And even though Doojoon knows Junhyung deserves the best – he knows this and he agrees – but that doesn’t mean he’s willing to hand Junhyung to someone else. He’s going to fight for Junhyung, even if he loses everything else.

 

 

What is everything when you can’t have the one thing that really matters?

 

 

Because Doojoon’s in love with Junhyung, always have and always will.

 

 

The way Junhyung flinches when Doojoon made him look into his eyes made Doojoon’s heart ache, but he wouldn’t give up.

 

 

“You don’t, Jun. You don’t know.” Doojoon searched his eyes, “You pretend that you do but you don’t even believe it. You don’t believe me.”

 

 

Junhyung closed his eyes and whimpered, “How could I?”

 

 

Doojoon sighed and closed the distance between them by a kiss. Almost two years has passed since Doojoon’s second mistake, and Junhyung still wouldn’t trust him.

 

 

Doojoon could feel Junhyung’s sob into the kiss so he kissed him deeper, both hands on Junhyung’s face.

 

 

“Shh…” Doojoon hushed, wiping away the tears that streamed down the younger boy’s face with his thumb, “Yours.”

 

 

Junhyung took a deep breath, “Only mine.”

 

 

Doojoon took that as a cue to continue.

 

 

He pushed Junhyung to lie down on the couch and kissed him softly, patiently waiting for the younger boy to open his mouth.

 

 

And when Junhyung opened his mouth, Doojoon gave it his all.

 

 

The kiss wasn’t forceful, hard and dominating, which surprised Junhyung a lot since at times like these, Doojoon always forces a lot on to him.

 

 

But Junhyung loved it, because it was slow, gentle and sweet. As if Doojoon was asking for forgiveness.

 

 

As if Doojoon was asking the younger boy for another chance to prove that he can be the best that Junhyung deserves.

 

 

Junhyung slowly wrapped his arms around the older boy’s neck and drew him closer, but the position and the size of the couch made Doojoon uncomfortable so he stopped the kiss and pulled Junhyung to stand up.

 

 

“Bedroom?” Doojoon asked, hopeful. Pleading.

 

 

“Mine?” Junhyung asked shyly, blushing a bit.

 

 

And it made Doojoon’s heart skip a beat.

 

 

“Yours. Forever and after,” Doojoon smiled goofily as he led Junhyung to his bedroom.

 

 

Junhyung was the first one to kiss the other when they lied down on the bed, the younger boy straddling Doojoon.

 

 

Doojoon let Junhyung lead the kiss, his tongue following Junhyung’s as he pushed Junhyung’s shirt to let his hand roam on the younger boy’s skin.

 

 

Before everything gets hot – it was already warm, oh so warm – Junhyung pulled away just enough so that Doojoon see the vulnerability in Junhyung’s beautiful eyes. He was scared again.

 

 

Doojoon hates that look and he doesn’t want that to happen, he doesn’t want Junhyung to put up his massive wall of defenses and leave him again, so he pushed Junhyung so that they can change position. Doojoon on top and in between the latter’s thighs.

 

 

Doojoon nuzzled Junhyung’s neck, breathing in his scent and kissed his collarbone, “I want you to make me yours, Jun. I’d do anything to make you believe that I’m yours. Only yours, Jun.” He begged softly. Pleadingly. Heartbreakingly.

 

 

Junhyung choked back a sob as he wrapped his arms and legs around Doojoon and whispered, “Then make love to me Doo. Do it like you mean it.”

 

 

And Doojoon did.

 

 

Doojoon took their clothes off, kissing every bit of skin he can find. He Junhyung as he slowly pushed a finger inside him, distracting the younger boy from the pain with his gentle and yet painfully sweet preparation.

 

 

And Junhyung was a mess of moans and whimpers, shivering from how good it feels to be with Doojoon.  To be Doojoon’s one and only.

 

 

Doojoon made sure that Junhyung was comfortable and enjoying it as much as he was when he carefully pulled his fingers out, kissing Junhyung’s cheeks when the latter whined at the sudden lost and kissed the younger boy when he entered him.

 

 

And Doojoon gave it his all.

 

 

Doojoon doesn’t want Junhyung to leave him again.

 

 

Like what the younger boy usually does when he’s scared or angry or hurt or unsure.

 

 

Because every time Junhyung leaves – he usually leaves before Doojoon wakes up – that would mean that Doojoon is not enough for the younger boy.

 

 

And Doojoon doesn’t want that.

 

 

He wants Junhyung not to be scared or angry or hurt or unsure.

 

 

He wants Junhyung to be brave and happy and loved and sure.

 

 

Sure of them. Sure of Doojoon.

 

 

More than anything, Doojoon wants Junhyung to stay.

 

 

“Will you stay?” Doojoon asked sleepily, his right arm was used as a pillow for Junhyung and his left arm was on the latter’s stomach, feeling the residue of their love making.

 

 

Junhyung tensed for a moment then placed his chin on top of Doojoon’s chest and smiled, “Okay.”

 

 

With that assurance, Doojoon was happy when he fell asleep.

 

 

When morning came, Junhyung was nowhere to be found.

 

 

But he left a note:

 

“I’m sorry I can’t stay.

 

Not yet anyway.”

-          J.

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: DEAD. I dunno what came over me when I wrote this story. EAFVAVAHJSB. I dunno. It’s a one-shot for now. BUT I have, like, a background story for this and some chapters that will come after this part, but I dunno if I should post it here or whatever. What do you think, though?

 

Comments, please? :)