Hello to everyone. I apologize to anyone that might have been looking forward to some sort of update, but I’m afraid to say this is quite the contrary. Long story short: I’m basically here to let you know that I’m debating whether to close down this account or not.

It’s not exactly something new either; I’ve been debating over it for months now and perhaps I’ve taken it a bit too seriously, but I have not taken any definite action until now; if you can call this a definite action anyway. Reaching out to you is a giant step for me.

Thing is…I’m not very confident in my ability to write. When I started in aff, I did so because I usually popped something up, jotted it down somewhere and left it untouched, and I thought maybe someone out there would either take an interest or would come down to criticize/improve my literary skills. I thought that maybe it’d be a waste if I just threw it away without a second glance. If you have seen any of the things I’ve written aside from Midnight Snack, you’ll notice they’re all oneshots and very short for that matter…but then this story happened.

This story is the reason why I haven’t left. Honestly, I am beyond flattered and I admit I’ve been quite lazy lately when it comes to thanking all of you. I used to thank each and every person individually, and for those who I didn’t thank, you have my sincere gratitude—I'll most likely get to it this instant. Really. It’s because of all of you who read at some point, and especially those who subscribed (a high-five and hug to the commenters) that I feel a terrible amount of guilt for.

I mean,

It’s too much. It feels horrible to throw your attention away as if it meant nothing. I didn’t write for the sake of being known or followed, and I really didn’t expect any of you to be so kind to me, so it really feels like I got too much from you. And I don’t want to be so rude as to turn my back towards that. Truth be told, even though it’s by no means a competition with anyone, there are greater stories out there, better writers, and I have not even given a proper update for a long while and it just…it makes me feel quite bad if anyone is waiting for something to happen. Not only am I incapable of coming up with anything, not only do I feel pressured into making sure whatever I come up with is "good enough", I’m also busy with university stuff and my personal life. And I'm always sick. That's another reason.

So I’m very, very, so very sorry. I’m so sorry, really. This post doesn’t mean I’m leaving right now, right at this moment, because like I said…you are the one thing holding me back. It’s just sitting here because I wanted to be honest and I guess maybe you can help if you want. I’m still debating on it. For the time being, I'll still try to bring up an update.