You were focused on the task at hand; eyes glaring up at your target, arms outstretched above your head, your knees bending a bit… And jump! With one swift movement you forced your body to go up in the air as you reached for the bag of chips with greedy fingers. It was in vain. Your fingers slipped passed it again and you returned to the ground with a sad expression on your face. Why did Junhong decide to put that bag up on the top shelf? “Aish, stupid bag.” You muttered, failing to notice how someone had entered the kitchen you a while ago.

“What’s wrong?” Himchan’s voice made you turn in surprise. The expression on his face was nothing short of amused, making you realize he had been watching you for a while now. You pointed at the bag above you. “Is our ____ too small?” he joked playfully. You and Himchan had a good friendship going on between the both of you. In fact, ever since you started to date Junhong you got along well with most of the boys. But you had quickly found out that you and Himchan had quite a lot of similar interests. So he had grown into one of your best friends by now, making you spent a lot of time with him too. And because of that, you two couldn’t help but tease each other quite often. “Instead of laughing at me, you could help me getting the bag. After all, it’s you guys who wanted chips while watching the movie.” You complained, pouting a bit while Himchan approached you. “You wanted it as much as we did. But fine.” Himchan smirked while stopping next to you. He did the same as you did, reaching out for the bag as he stood on the tip of his feet. And, just like you did, he also failed. “Who’s small now, hu?” You retorted with a smirk on your face as you watched him glare at you. “Oh shut up.” He returned, giving the bag a frustrated glance. You grinned even wider, amused with his obvious annoyance at your remark. “Chill, you’re acting as if I was commenting on a specific part of your body. And whether that one is small or not, I don’t care. So cut down the attitude.” You went right on, trying to get him on his high horse once more. “Yaaaaa~ you’re so mean.” he whined in his typical dramatic way. It was too easy with Himchan sometimes.

“Just admit you can’t do it either.” You replied calmly, watching him sigh and wave his hand as he quickly spoke. “Okay fine, I can’t.” he mumbled, but that was enough for you. “Let’s do it together then. Any suggestions? Should we call Junhong?” you suggested, figuring your boyfriend could easily reach it. “No, we can do this on our own. I’m not that small.” Himchan said, obviously not wanting the boys to know he couldn’t reach a damn bag. “How about you sit on my shoulders and I help you up?” he suggested, offering a proper plan. Looking up, you knew it would probably make you reach higher than the bag was. But still, it would work. “Deal. Get down.” You ordered, watching him bend down to let you go up.

With a swift movement you felt yourself go up in the air. The feeling of it made a small squeal escape your lips. The sound of it was enough to make Himchan freeze and you could feel his fingers grasp the sides of your legs harshly in shock. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” his voice filled with worry. However, you had already started to laugh, amused by the fact you had been surprised enough to produce a sound like that. Soon, Himchan was laughing to, both of you momentarily forgetting the bag and just laughing out loud. Until…

“What are you guys doing? Get off there!” a voice you recognized as Junhong’s yelled through the kitchen. It was the first time you heard him raise his voice like that and it was enough to make you fall of Himchan’s shoulders. Another squeal came from your lips as you felt yourself tipping over. Luckily Himchan was fast enough to move down so that you only dropped a few inches and landed on your . “Auuuwtch.” You whined, opening your eyes again since you had closed them to prepare for the landing. To you surprise, you were staring into Himchan’s eyes as he offered a hand to get up. Looking to your side, you saw Junhong standing there; frozen and fuming with anger.

“What do you two think you were doing?” he hissed, anger apparent in his eyes. “We were getti-“ you started, but your boyfriend easily broke off your sentence with his own words. “You two aren’t supposed to be in a position like that. What were you even thinking?” he continued on, confusing you. What was the fuss about? “Junhong-ah, please be calm.” Himchan spoke, trying to calm his dongsaeng while the other members came from the living room to see what was wrong. “Calm? Hyung! You aren’t supposed to do that with my girlfriend!” he yelled, emphasizing the word ‘my’ clearly. “She’s mine! You’re not supposed to have your head… There.” He hissed. You felt a flash of rage go through your body. You hated to be threated as a property, but what was even worse was the tone he used. His tone alone was enough to frustrate you. Not to mention the fact it was aimed at both you and himchan, who were both older than him and, most of all, didn’t do anything wrong. In many ways you didn’t care for the age difference between you and Junhong. You never wanted him to call you noona or anything of the sorts, not thinking it was necessary to focus on the fact that you were older than him. Age didn’t matter when it came to love. But with his childish behavior right now, you found it really hard not to realize there was indeed an age difference. “ ‘There?’ First of all, his head was ‘there’, because he was trying to help me get that damn bag. And ‘there’ is called my thighs; his head was between my thighs because I was sitting on his shoulders Junhong. That is how we grown-ups would say it, instead of calling it ‘there’!” you exploded right back at him. You didn’t care if it was a low-blow or unnecessairy. He deserved nothing better right now.

“Oh, ‘we grown-ups’? Am I suddenly not grown- up enough for you anymore?” he raged, coming closer to you. He was standing close to you, using his height to impress you as he towered over you. “Obviously you’re not if you’re acting like a baby over nothing! And don’t even think you can intimidate me by doing this, Choi Junhong!” you snapped at him. No matter how tall he was, he remained a little brat at the moment. You didn’t care in the slightest that your words would only piss him off more. But what you didn’t not expect was his reply: “Oh maybe this will intimidate you then?” he yelled, suddenly placing his two hands on your shoulders and pushing you back with an impeccable force. All air left your lungs as you smacked against Himchan, feeling his chest against your back. He immediately grabbed you in order to support you, while the other guys lunged forward to grab Junhong’s arms and drag him out of the room. Yongguk was screaming so loudly at him it scared you. But what scared you the most of all was how Junhong had just been violent… towards you.

“Come sit down.” Himchan said, guiding you to a chair as he felt your knees give in. You were mostly shocked by Junhong’s behavior rather than the result of the pushing. “I’m so sorry _____.” Himchan said, giving you his guilty face. You could only sigh in return. “You’re not the one who’s supposed to say sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong either. He was the one who went crazy.” You sighed, resting  your face in your hands. It was hard to decide what to do next. You loved Junhong deeply and you knew that you also had a hand in what just happened. Maybe you shouldn’t have exploded at him, pulling in the age difference like that. However, none of that gave him the right to push you. And in the past you had always told yourself that if someone would ever physically hurt you on purpose, you would leave that relationship right away. But were you in pain? There was a burning deep inside your chest; a mixed feeling of anger, guilt, frustration and regret. But physically? No. You felt okay and somehow it made you realize that Junhong had still been holding back in a way. Could you leave him because of this? Was it even worth leaving him for?“Junhong-ah.” Himchan said, pulling you out of your thoughts. He was looking at the door. You followed his look and spotted your boyfriend, facing the floor with a pale face. “Hyung, I’m sorry, can I please talk to ______?”

After some hesitating Himchan had left, leaving you with Junhong sitting on the chair next to you. He had his hands folded together on his lap, making sure he wouldn’t come too close to you. And you weren’t sure if you wanted him close or not, firstly you wanted to hear what he had to say. “______...” he started weakly, a vulnerable state you weren’t completely used to. He was usually so alive and so full of excitement. “Yes?” you replied calmly, refusing to let out more. “I’m so sorry I did that to you. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re right, I am nothing but a child compared to you and how I reacted was exactly like a spoiled brat that didn’t get what he wanted. I was behaving like a kid, acting without thinking and not realizing how wrong my actions were. I am so sorry.” He blurted out really fast. Eyes focused on him, you took in how nervous he looked. The anger had left his eyes and was now replaced with a redness that showed you he had cried. Unfortunately, you weren’t sure how to react to his words. “Can you please forgive me?” he then spoke, his eyes finally looking into yours instead of avoiding them. He caught you off guard, putting you face to face with the question you had tried to avoid yourself: did you have to forgive him for this? Was it such a bad action that it needed forgiveness? And if it was, could you give it to him? “Junhong…” you started, wanting to explain to him that you needed to think more on that. But he was already getting up.

“No, wait. I don’t want to hear that. I shouldn’t be asking this. I’m a fool for asking that after what I did. I don’t deserve you noona.” He said, the last word getting you the most. It felt as if that word confirmed that he decided to really end things there. If he spoke formally to you… it felt like it already ended. You got up too, wanting to say something. But he was continuing on already. “You deserve a man who will treat you the way you deserve. Not some kid that can’t even control himself. You weren’t doing anything wrong; I just got blinded by jealousy. I don’t deserve you!” he was ready to burst out in tears again; you could hear it in the tone of his voice. It was so heartbreaking and that, together with the realization that you might indeed lose him, was enough to make you grab his wrist and hold him in one place as you moved to wrap your arms around his slim waist. The action was enough to surprise him and keep him frozen in place.

“You are crazy, you know that right?” you mumbled with your face against his chest. Junhong still didn’t move, staring down at you with wide eyes. Looking up, you met his eyes and smirked. “Hug me back, you pabo.” You grinned; watching him with an amused look as he slowly moved his arms around you. “You’re not mad at me? You don’t want to break up with me and never see me again?” he carefully asked. “I am slightly mad. Don’t ever do that again Junhong because if you do, I’ll be gone before you can say ‘cherry tomato’.” You replied while watching him nod in reaction to it. “I won’t, I’d be a fool to do so. I won’t ever risk losing you. I’d die without you. ” Junhong revealed, his words making your heart skip a beat as you giggled. “You’re a childish, cheesy idiot Junhong. But you’re my childish, cheesy idiot. So it’s all good.” You whispered to him as you snuggled closer to him yet again. He laughed and pulled you even closer.