Hi Jack, I’m in an airplane hijacking!

It was a peace flight thousand feet above the Earth (obviously, but if you refer to either Star Wars or War of the Worlds, Mars is acceptable too). There were some sleeping (plus drooling) passengers, some listening to the music, some eating in-flight meals, some (three exactly) cocking Mini-Uzi, AK-47, M16, and readying explosives and donned their combat vest.

Eh? Something was wrong here...

RATATATATATATATATAT!

“LISTEN UP EVERYONE!!! THIS IS AN AIRPLANE HIJACKING! DON’T SCREAM OR SHOUT OR BLAHBLABLAH OR I’LL EAT YOUR BREAD- Ouch..!”

“Or I’ll shot your head, stupid shikshin!” A short blonde elbowed her skinny tall comrade.

“Oh sorry... OR I’LL SHOT YOUR HEAD!”

Soon chaos erupted in the middle of passengers. Screams, shouts, rifle shots, flying luggage, roast chicken and bread tossed to the air. Oh, what the riot.

“Sooyoung, Seohyun, handle the passengers. I’ll pay some visit to the pilot.” Sunny commanded and headed to the cockpit.

“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but we’re in the middle of a plane hijacking,” Seohyun politely apologized while pointing her M16 assault rifle to the terrified passengers. “Please put your precious belonging to this bag.”

“Give me all your precious item!” Sooyoung roared. ”Oh, and all your food too!”

Meanwhile Sunny sneaked to the cockpit and silently stick her Mini-Uzi to the pilot’s head. “Don’t move, or I’ll blow your brains!”

The pilot just kept silent and suddenly twisted Sunny’s hand and locked the hijacker’s hand. “Stop my flight and I’ll snap your sorry arms!”

“A-agh!”

“Yoona stop fooling around!” The annoyed tan co-pilot shouted. “We’re on 33000 feet!”

“No! I’ll beat this- WHAT? 33000 feet??? NO!!!!” Yoona suddenly screamed and shook the hell out of Sunny. “SAVE ME! DO SOMETHING!”

“Get it together Yoong! You’re a pilot, for god’s sake!” Yuri exasperatedly calmed the panicked pilot.

“No, I can’t unnie! This is WAY TOO HIGH!”

“But you said you were a Lieutenant in Air Force!”

“Yes I really was!”

“But why the heck you’re scared of heights?!”

“That’s why I was kicked out from Air Force!”

Yoona frantically ran from the cockpit to the deck with hands frantically flailed in the air.

“Arrgh!! I’m gonna die! We gonna die! This is too high...ghrrrmh...!” start to foam and soon she fainted.

Yuri and Sunny were out from the cockpit to check the pilot. Sunny had ‘WTF’ face on, while Yuri only huffed flatly. “You! Take care of her. I’m tired with that acrophobic idiot...”

“Not so fast buddy,” Sooyoung stopped Yuri. ”We’re in a plane hijacking, right?”

“So what then?” Yuri spat in bore. “Should I scream ‘AHH HELP ME!’”

“Freeze, you terrorists!” A red-haired girl pointed her pistol to Sunny and Sooyoung.

“Uhh, who are you?” Sooyoung asked nonchalantly.

“Tiffany Hwang, FBI agent!” Tiffany showed her badge. “Now you’re under arrest for aircraft hijacking!”

“I don’t care about it, but who’s the ert-looking midget who s your beside you?”

“Kim Taeyeon! FBI agent and Fany Fany Tiffany’s soon-to-be hubby!“ the midget introduced herself, pointing her gun while still groping Fany’s . ”In the name of Fany’s I swear to get all of you terrorists!”

“It’s not just you who can say your vow like that!” Sooyoung d Sunny’s s from behind, pointing her AK-47 and screamed,”In the name of Sunny’s melons I swear to hijack this plane!”

“HANDS OFF, YOU ERT!” Tiffany and Sunny punched their respective r partner.

I got Taeyeon meotjin! I got Taeyeon chakhan!

I got Taeyeon, ert girl, nae mam da gajyeogan

Oh, Tiffany’s phone was ringing! Wait, wasn’t something wrong with the ringtone? Nevermind that, at least Tiffany picked up the call.

“Hi Jack! I’m in an airplane hijacking now... Hmm... Mhmm... Okay, see you later if I’m still alive. Oh and Jack, can you tell my mom to use the money for Taetae and my wedding for our funeral instead. Thanks, Bye!”

Meanwhile, a rainbow-haired passenger poked the unconscious pilot. “Hey, you’re the pilot eh? Wake up dude and control this chaos!”

Yoona’s eyes shot open and gawked at the rainbow-haired  clown girl. “You... You’re Kim Hyoyeon the famous skydiving athlete!”

“Aww, yeah~” Hyoyeon a cool pose. ”Are you my fan? Do you want an autogr-“

Instead of paper and pen, Hyoyeon received a punch on her cheek, with full of love hate pack in it.

“W-what the f***?”

“I’m really freakin’ hate ya! You lie to me!”

“W-what?”

“You 100% guaranteed this book will help me getting over my acrophobia!” Yoona suddenly pulled a book from thin air, entitled ‘1001 GUIDES FOR ACROPHOBIC IDIOTS’. “But I even still wet myself to go to the second floor!”

“Hmm, that book really works for idiots...” Hyoyeon rubbed her chin, and her bruised cheek, thoughtfully. “Maybe it doesn’t work for you ‘coz you’re a SUPER IDIOT.”

“What?! Of course I’m not! Right, Yul unnie?”

“Oh yes Yoong, you’re a certified acrophobic super idiot. Even President of America signed the certificate too.”

Yoona gasped and started banging her head with her cursed book to celebrate her inauguration as an ‘acrophobic super idiot’. Yuri and Hyoyeon snickered together and bumped their fist.

“Aww yeah, I like your style, tan co-pilot buddy~”

“Who’s disturbing my sleep?”

A cold voice rang and rendered everyone and everything silent (except Yoona who started enjoying banging her head).

Jessica’s left eye twitched.  A girl with ridiculous rainbow-colored hair, three girls, uhh correction, two girls and a dwarf armed like terrorists, an FBI agent with her midget erted partner and the pilot banged her own head like an idiot. What a sight after she was rudely awoken.

“Jessica? “

That soothing voice made Jessica’s heart skipped a beat. Her eyes diverted to the figure of the tan co-pilot. “Yuri?”

“Sicababy~!”

“Kwon Seobang~!”

The chaotic airplane suddenly morphed into a rose field surrounding YulSic. They run dramatically to each other, like in a Bollywood cheesy scene. Even Bollywood-themed background music started to play.

Sooyoung stepped in between them with hands planted on their faces, breaking YulSic’s Cheesy Romantic Fantasy show. “Uhmm... Sorry to burst your bubbles, lovebirds, BUT WE’RE IN A MIDDLE OF A FREAKIN’ AIRPLANE HIJACKING!”

“WE. DONT. CARE!” YulSic punched Sooyoung away together and resumed YulSic’s Cheesy Romantic Fantasy show. Now with extra cheese topping, only $1.99!

“I never expected we will meet again in the middle of peril, Seobang,” Jessica cooed sweetly on Yuri’s shoulder.

“It doesn’t matter Sicababy. I’ll go through thousand perils just to be with you,” Yuri huskily whispered.

Everyone puked at YulSic’s overly-cheese-topped PDA. I bet they would have trauma with pizzas with extra cheese topping. Just hope Pizza Hut and Domino’s Pizza wouldn’t fall into bankruptcy because of YulSic.

“Aissh... This won’t work!” Sunny hissed. “Seohyun! Shot the rocket to the cockpit!”

“Alright unnie!” Seohyun held a RPG-7 in her shoulder and aimed the rocket launcher to the cockpit.

In flash Yoona stopped banging her head and jumped on top of Seohyun. She knocked the rocket launcher away and pinned the youngest hijacker’s hands down. Seohyun was blushing as the pilot’s and her face were too close.

“As a pilot, I can’t let you explode my airplane.” Yoona leaned closer, eying Seohyun’s lips hungrily. “But if you still want some explosion, I can explode you in pleasure.” 

Sadly, a fist, which belonged to none other than Seohyun, sent the pilot flying and knocking the passenger seat.  Yoona fainted, again, with waterfall of blood sprang from her nostrils.

“I-I’d like to kiss you, Captain Yoona... BUT NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR PLANE HIJACKING!”

“Omo... the pilot is fainted,” Taeyeon amusedly looked at the bloody-nosed pilot. “Despite of all this chaos, the plane will fly safely right?”

Yuri replied lightly, “Of course, the autopilot is -“

“Listen guys, while you’re fighting and spazzing whatnot, I decided to be the hero of the day by sneaking to the cockpit and punch the autopilot button!” Hyoyeon announced proudly, but the others deathly glared at her. She cowered and squeaked, “What’s wrong?”

“GODDAMMIT HYOYEON YOU’RE A MORON!!!” everyone shrieked together (even Yoona, who had just awoken from her faint).

 “Hey, I think ‘Hyoyeon, you’re our hero!’ will sound better!” Hyoyeon retorted back furiously.

Soon the airplane became unstable and crashed down. The nine girls suddenly crumpled into a group hug while emptying each other’s lungs with their last screams.

“Oh, now I know what I did wrong... AAAAAHHHH!”

“MY PLANE HIJACKING!!!!”

“NO! MY PRECIOUS IN-FLIGHT MEALS!”

“SEOBANG~!”

“MUST... SAVE... THE BLACK BOX!”

“SUNNY UNNIE, YOU PROMISED ME I CAN ACT LIKE KERORO IN PEKOPON INVASION!”

“I SHOULD’VE STILL BE FAINTED- Oh, can I kiss you now?”

“TAETAE WE GONNA DIE!”

“Ahehehe but your is still y- WHAT?! WE GONNA DIE?”

“AAAAAHHHH!!!!”

And that was how things ended...

Or so you thought...

“BRUUUK!”

“THUD!”

“BHUUGH!”

Let see what really happened next...

Tiffany:

Still in her sleep, Tiffany was smiling widely, complete with her eyesmile. Her happy expression was very contrast with her sleeping position; face planted to the dorm floor, her arms sprawled wildly on the floor while her lower body section was still on the bed, with her sticking to the air. Ceci, Vogue, High Cut and many more fashion magazine will pay very high for this ‘exotic’ pose of her.

“Taetae... are we married in the heaven now?”

Sooyoung:

The tall shikshin fell from her bed in a position like a roasted turkey, with her mouthed gagged by her pillow. Happy way-too-earlier-Thanksgiving, everyone.

“This pastry... tastes like... exploding airplane...”

Taeyeon:

This ByunTae oh-so-gracefully dived to her dorm floor, head first. But fortunately her beloved dookong plushie shielded her head. With a erted grin, Taeyeon dug her face deeper to her plushie.

“I don’t mind if I die... At least I crashed to your Fany~”

I think her dookong would file a lawsuit for ual harassment against Taeyeon.

Jessica:

After emergency landing from her bed to the floor, Jessica sobbed and blew her nose with a travel brochure before ripping the poor, mucus-infected paper. Oh, and she was still sleeping, by the way.

“Seobang... Why do you cheat on me... WITH THAT STUPID BLACK BOX?”

Sunny:

Sunny lied on the floor, limbs splayed like a victim of a murder.  But instead of blood, supermassive amount of drool oozed from .

“I shouldn’t have played Call of Duty 4 in Veteran difficulty mode...”

Then suddenly a Call of Duty 4 cheat book fell from nowhere and hit her head.

Yoona:

Yoona crashed to the floor head first, hard. Very hard. Really hard that she was nosebleeding. Or to be exact, nosebleeding until her whole white blanket turned into red. Ouch, must’ve been very hurt, but why the heck she was giggling like a erted idiot?

“This explosion is nothing... compared to your kiss Seobaby~”

Yuri:

Yuri crash-landed from her bed on her back. She was tightly hugging her black Adidas shoebox while thrashing from left to right nonstop. Rather than hugging, it was like Yuri and the shoebox were making out. Eww.

“Must... Save... The Black Box...”

Seohyun:

Seohyun still lied comfortably in her bed, hugging her beloved M16 airsoft gun model (a gift from a crazy fan). It was just that her blanket was thrown away to the other side of her room, with numerous holes on it. Holes from gun shots, obviously. Now I doubted whether her gun was an airsoft gun or a REAL gun.

“You can kiss me Captain Yoona... After I destroy the plane with my RPG...!”

Seohyun definitely would make a good terrorist.

Hyoyeon:

Hyoyeon yawned widely and stretched her arms as much as she could.  

“Ah... Such a great sleep~! Though the dream was very freaky... Acrophobic idiot Yoona? Terrorist Sunny? What did I eat before go to sleep?” She scratched her head. ”Anyway, what were those sounds? Hey Seo-”

But before her words were finished, her jaw dropped to the floor looking at her roommate in a... devastating position.

“SEOHYUN WHY THE HECK YOU'RE KISSING YOUR AIRSOFT GUN?”

-X-X-

Mini Glossary

Acrophobia: Excessive fear of heights.

AK-47: Your typical terrorists’ assault rifle. Origin of Russia.

M16: Standard US Army assault rifle for infantry.

Mini-Uzi: A derivative of Uzi submachine gun. Terrorists and GTA gangsters’ favorite.

RPG-7: Unguided anti-tank rocket launcher. RPG for short. Man, I love and hate this stuff (too often killed by enemies with this...)

No comment... just hoping you won’t be scared riding airplanes and still focus while playing FPS shooting games (CoD 4 especially) after reading this stuff. But honestly saying, I really really want to try giving Seohyun an airsoft gun as a present, for real!XD Oh, maybe I could get her an airsoft gun for her birthday!