To: Him [Subject: a letter from your biggest fan]

I'm just a fan, but I could pretend like you're mine.

I'm just a fan, but I would always imagine we're together.

Yes, I'm that fan who had never seen you in person.

I'm that girl who never attended your concerts. 

But I'm that fan who watches live streams just to see your performance. 

When there are those times you win, I cry in happiness.

Because I've been your fan for how many moons,

that I myself, becomes proud too of what you've done.

No matter how hard it is for you to become one of the popular groups,

no matter how sad it is when you slowly fall,

I'll be there until the end of the time,

wishing that in the next life time, you will be suddenly mine.

But this is just fantasy. You're just a dream, a bittersweet dream.

Just like when you say, "I love you," not only to me.

And I would always reply the same three words, feeling hurt.

Because it's pain when I started to realize you partly don't mean them.

Because you'll just see me as portion of something.

Maybe when I grow old with another man, you'll just be another person to me.

-Some person whom I hold unto, but that same person who doesn't love me back.

I don't want think about it, because it breaks my heart more.

It even bleeds me when I see you with another girl.

Sigh, I'm starting to be more selfish, greedy.

Even in the in the midst of this dream, I try to wake up.

And truthfully, I've imagined myself letting you go.

But seeing myself trying to move on from you, it makes me cry.

I've been visualizing - burning all your pictures, throwing all what reminds me of you,

finding another people who hates you so that I would forget you, 

letting you go.

See? This is like suiciding, forcing a strange life unto me.

But I realized I can't let you go, because it's getting painful.

Maybe it's true that I've grown attached to you.

Maybe it's true that these feelings of mine, is growing something more different.

I think I'm falling in love, not as your fan anymore.

But as a normal person, seeing you as important to me.