Kai sighed in relief as he finished his picture. He clapped his hands to wipe out any existent dust from them. He smiled with his hands on his hips; he was happy with the outcome, so far the best one made by him. 

As he cleaned his tools and put away the charcoal he had used just before, his mind slowly drifted away from that silent and lonely atelier to a much better place: to memories living in his mind and heart.

"Jongin!" A boy in thick-framed glasses clumsily ran to where he was. "It's you, Kim Jongin, right?" He had a wide smile on his face, as he encountered his long lost childhood friend. Perhaps a little more than that.

Jongin turned to him. Seeing the awkward boy right in front of him, he scoffed. 'What is he doing here?' he thought. But he only shrugged him off by saying "You must be mistaken." 

He grabbed the hand of the girl by his side — probably his girlfriend —, who was attentively watching everything that happened and laughing at the guy who had just made a fool out of himself. Kai walked away from the nerdy-wide-eyed boy without looking back.

Kai knew who he was at the first glance: Do Kyungsoo. He was just surprised; he wasn't expecting to see him... anytime soon. The last time— when was it? 

"High school graduation." Kai whispered, frowning right after.

After cleaning his space on the large atelier that he shared with other friend and artist like him, he let himself fall on the shabby couch, only moving again to grab the whisky bottle that was carelessly lying on the table next to him. In a pretty uncomfortable position, he poured as much liquid as he could in the tiny glass and immediately drank it in one shot. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the back as he stretched his whole body along the couch, finding a comfortable position. 

He bit his bottom lip.

"It took Kai a second to find out that he wasn't alone in the arts classroom. He didn't need to turn to see who it was — the unsteady breath and the sudden fresh smell fighting around with the thick and heavy environment of the school's atelier quickly revealed Kyungsoo's presence in it. 

Taking a deep breath, Kai's heart quickened its beat and he suddenly felt his cheeks growing warmer. He didn't turn to face the other. He kept his back to him, pretending he was cleaning and organizing some pastels. In reality, he was just doing it as a way to hide all the embarrassment. Kyungsoo cleared his voice. When he spoke, Kai was surprised by how close he was to him. 

"Jong—Kai." He sighed. Kai felt his frustration, felt his embarassment and felt him nervous. "uh, I—"

"What are you doing here?" His voice came out more hoarse than he was expecting, which in a way was good, as it somehow hid his nervousness.

"Are you alrigh—" Kai felt Kyungsoo's warm hand on his shoulder, softly grabbing it. And as much as he didn't want to repel it, he quickly dismissed his hand and turned to him, clearly annoyed.

"This room is strictly for Art students, I thought you were majoring in Music?" His harsh tone shocked Kyungsoo: Kai, who had always been - well, as far as he knew him - a shy and quiet boy, was now spitting words at him. Kai, who had always been the most adorable kid, was now looking at him with a fierce and angry look. And Kyungsoo thought it didn't fit him. And Kyungsoo suddenly begged for time to go back as he tried to hug the strange Kai. And Kyungsoo cried on his shoulder, on the shoulder of a frozen Kai, who took long to realize what was happening.

"You changed."

Kai's breath was steady, although he knew what was about to come. Reviving memories, for Kai, never ended in a good or pleasant way. He opened his eyes and slowly turned to his painting. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, blinked and, as if mindlessly, his full lips curved into a genuine smile.

Kyungsoo's portrait came out perfect — and he was being modest. Well, he had always been sure of his skills, he was really, really good although his paintings weren't really... aknowledged by people in general. He didn't know, though, why did it took so long for him to decide on painting Kyungsoo...

He grabbed the drink's bottle and poured more into the glass, gulping it the moment after. Carelessly holding it, the glass made a clink against one of his fingers, reminding Kai of his engagement ring, soon to give place to a wedding ring.

... Probably because of her?

"Jongin... I really like you, and, although I know you try to hide it, I know you do, too."

Kai shifted uncomfortably in front of the lockers. He turned to his open locker and put down his things. Kyungsoo moved to his side, so that Kai would never have the chance to avoid him.

"I know you do." 

Kai didn't want to look, but he was sure Kyungsoo's eyes were full of determination and... love. Like they always had, like they always were. Kai didn't move when he felt Kyungsoo's hand on his back, patting it, caressing it.

Kai cleared his throat; he was going to talk. He opened his mouth to answer him, he was going to say something, but he was interrupted by his girlfriend, who was not really happy with Kyungsoo's intimate touch. It was needless to say she hated him, although there was no clear reason why. 

Kai clenched his teeth.

He was so dumb. He was such a coward. He had so many opportunities yet he lost them all. Freaking stupid pride, what could he do now? Regret it. He learnt the lesson, he was willing to do whatever it took to get him back — if he could.

He would, if the other one was still in this world. He really, really would.

His whole self started trembling. He held his breath. They are not going to fall. He sighed, trying to calm down. His heartbeats were now very fast. "Don't—"

An echo diffused inside his mind, tearing what was left of his heart to pieces.

"Jongin, I like you."

"Kyung-Kyungsoo... Kyungsoo—," Tears quickly formed in his eyes and trailed down his cheeks. His words were interrupted by his endless sobs. He tried to stop them as he bit his arm, but it was of no use. Wailing, wiping his tears to give space to another trail of them, he spoke. "You—Where are you?" He sniffed, his hands never seeming to stop trembling. "Don't hide, d-don't go. I know you're there..." He sobbed. "Come out." He tightened his grip around the whisky bottle.

"I like you too."