Title: The Ties That Bind Us

Author: StandingSmall

Pairing: Dongwoo/Hoya

Band: Infinite

It takes a lot to make Dongwoo upset. That’s not to be confused with what it takes to make Dongwoo cry….which is next to nothing. Dongwoo has a tendency to cry very easily. But Dongwoo does not get upset easily. It takes a lot to make his blood boil.

But one night Dongwoo sees Hoya curled in on himself in bed. At first Dongwoo thinks Hoya is asleep. His earbuds are in and his music is playing as it normally does. Hoya doesn’t move either. But then Dongwoo notices the slight quaking of the younger boy’s shoulders and suddenly Hoya doesn’t seem so peacefully asleep anymore.

Dongwoo pretends to get up and walk to the bathroom sleepily as if he hadn’t been watching his friend. Hoya doesn’t notice him as he passes. But Dongwoo sees the familiar worn photograph clutched in Hoya’s hands. Dongwoo notices how his friend’s eyes are just barely open, staring sadly at his family held tightly in his shaking fist. Dongwoo’s heart aches for Hoya. It shatters into a million pieces when he sees the tears streaming down Hoya’s face.

It takes a lot to make Dongwoo upset. But Dongwoo’s blood boils at the thought of Hoya’s family abandoning him.

It takes Dongwoo a total of three days to get over his anger. In those three days life went on as it always does. Hoya didn’t act any differently and neither did anyone else. (not that Dongwoo had expected anything to change, it wasn’t as if some great calamity had occurred after all). But Dongwoo has a hard time pretending everything is okay. He isn’t angry anymore but he isn’t happy either.

Dongwoo wants to find a way to make Hoya stop hurting. The more he thinks about what he can do to make Hoya stop hurting the more frustrated he gets. Dongwoo isn’t Hoya’s family. He can’t make the pain of being abandoned any better for Hoya.

On top of that, Dongwoo can’t even sympathize with Hoya. He can’t put an arm around his shoulders and tell him he understands because he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be alone. Dongwoo can’t possibly imagine how that feels. He’s close with both of his parents and his sisters and they have always supported him.

The more he tries to think of ways to help Hoya, the more upset he gets.

But then on the third day Hoya comes up to him and asks if he’s okay and Dongwoo realizes he’s made his friend worry about him.

Dongwoo doesn’t want Hoya to worry about him. He doesn’t want Hoya to worry about anything. So Dongwoo smiles from ear to ear, a genuine smile that splits his face in half, and grabs onto Hoya’s waist and tells him that his stomach has just been upset.

Usually Dongwoo isn’t bothered by the fact that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He typically prances around the dorm with a goofy grin on his face while he sings show tunes as he basks in the freedom his single life offers him. Then she had to show up.

Dongwoo usually loves it when his friends find love. He likes to encourage them and embarrass them in front of their girlfriends. The singer take great pride in the fact that he can make his friends blush purple in front of their girlfriends with a well times joke. But Dongwoo can’t find it in him to be happy for Hoya when he tells him a girl asked him out.

Dongwoo knows he should be happy for Hoya. He wants to be happy for Hoya. Not being happy for Hoya is definitely not a good way to make Hoya’s life easier. Dongwoo wants to make Hoya happy. He wants Hoya to know that he doesn’t need his family to be happy.

But Dongwoo just can’t be happy for him and he doesn’t know why. And that makes him angry. But when Hoya comes out into the living room in a white button down shirt and kaki slacks with a blue bowtie around his neck Dongwoo can’t help but smile. He puts down his game controller and runs up to his friend, crushing him in a hug. He laughs and ruffles Hoya’s hair. Dongwoo tells Hoya he looks like a nerd but he looks good. And Hoya smiles.

Hoya smiles so bright and beautifully and it lights up Dongwoo’s whole world. He suddenly finds himself completely entranced by his best friend and he just wants to hold him. So he does.

Dongwoo squeezes Hoya in a tight embrace and Hoya laughs and pushes at him playfully until he breaks free. Hoya adjusts his shirt and tells Dongwoo to stop acting like a mom every time he thinks a member of Infinite is leaving the nest.

Dongwoo laughs along with Hoya. What else can he do? He laughs and smiles and teases him until Hoya has to leave or he’ll be late.

And then Dongwoo just can’t smile anymore.  He passes his abandoned game controller to Sunggyu before he locks himself in the bathroom.

Dongwoo just can’t smile anymore. Not while Hoya is with someone else. Dongwoo has very suddenly realized he is in love with his best friend and for the first time in a long time Dongwoo cries out of jealousy.

Hoya’s relationship lasts a total of one week. For an entire week Dongwoo puts on a fake smile and laughs just a little too loudly while he tries to convince himself that he can let Hoya go. But the second the other singer tells him things just didn’t work out Dongwoo realizes he just can’t let Hoya go.

In that moment Dongwoo tells himself he can make Hoya fall for him. Dongwoo wants to make Hoya better. He wants to take away all of the younger boy’s pain and hurt and sadness and anger. He wants to make Hoya laugh and smile. Dongwoo wants to be as much the center of Hoya’s universe as Hoya is the center of his.

Dongwoo wants to be Hoya’s family. He wants to be the one Hoya spends his life with. Dongwoo’s heart leaps at the thought that he can ease Hoya’s pain if only Hoya’s would give him a chance.

After a month of planning and scheming and panicking and revising and planning some more, Dongwoo thinks he finally has the perfect plan to make Hoya fall for him.

Dongwoo starts off with subtle flirting. He is already the most touchy feely out of Infinite’s members so it isn’t too hard for him to just turn it up a notch around Hoya. He makes sure their skinship is a little more intense, a little more deliberate.

The singer touches Hoya every chance he gets. He smooth’s invisible wrinkles from his friend’s outfits. He runs his fingers through Hoya’s hair with the excuse of fixing flyaway strands.  Dongwoo pinches Hoya’s as they walk down the halls of their recording studio with nothing more than a wink as explanation when Hoya questions him about it.

And surprisingly enough Hoya begins to reciprocate after about two weeks of heavy flirting.

Initially, Dongwoo is surprised that his friend is so bold when it comes to flirting (quite openly with him) but he knows better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. So Dongwoo just keeps flirting back and hopes something more will come of it.

Dongwoo is lying awake in bed one night when things finally go his way.

The singer has his giant stuffed banana clutched tightly to his chest. It is unusual for him to have a hard time falling asleep but when he does it usually means he’ll be working the next day on less than an hour of rest. So Dongwoo concedes defeat early on instead of getting frustrated and pulls out his phone to play mindless games to pass the time.

It takes a few minutes for Dongwoo to realize the room is unusually quiet. When he does he immediately looks over to Hoya’s bunk. Hoya’s earbuds are lying on his pillow with his iPod. But Hoya is nowhere to be found.

Fearing something might have happened to his friend, Dongwoo groggily makes his way out of their shared room. He stumbles over something big at the door and lands flat on his face. It takes Dongwoo a minute to get back up after that. He is lying completely flat with his limbs akimbo and he thinks it might very well be the most comfortable position he’s ever been in. But then he notices that whatever he tripped over is still under his legs and he reluctantly gets back up.

Hoya is flat on his back with his eyebrow arched and his family photo in his hands. Dongwoo is shocked to see that the younger boy isn’t crying. In fact, Hoya doesn’t seem upset in the slightest.

“You okay?”

Dongwoo starts when Hoya gets up and touches a hand to his chest to make sure he’s okay. Dongwoo has yet to say anything and he can tell Hoya’s worried about him. Without thinking Dongwoo throws his arms around Hoya’s shoulders and pulls him close.

In a second Dongwoo has his face buried in Hoya’s neck and he’s suddenly the one crying. Their height difference makes the embrace awkward but Hoya wraps his arms around Dongwoo’s waist anyway and holds him tight while he cries.

Hoya doesn’t say anything or move while Dongwoo cries. He just stands and holds him and makes sweet little shushing noises to calm Dongwoo down.

Eventually Dongwoo calms down and pulls away. Despite his puffy eyes and wet cheeks there is a wide smile on his face. His lips are still wibbling and he knows Hoya probably thinks he’s being ridiculous but he just can’t properly express how happy he is in that moment.

Hoya isn’t sad. Hoya was remembering his family and he wasn’t crying. He wasn’t upset.

Dongwoo shoves Hoya’s shoulder and laughs. He laughs because he doesn’t know what else to do. He’s too happy. He doesn’t have to be upset anymore because Hoya cries himself to sleep. Because Hoya wasn’t crying himself to sleep. Hoya is okay.

Hoya looks at Dongwoo like he’s crazy and puts a hand to Dongwoo’s forehead. The older just laughs harder and grabs Hoya’s hand. He smiles so wide it hurts but it’s worth it and everything suddenly feels so perfect he just can’t contain it.

Neither of them knows who moves first but their lips meet and Dongwoo knows that everything doesn’t just feel perfect, everything is perfect.

Dongwoo has found the one thing better than family. He’s found the ties that bind. He’s found love. And Hoya doesn’t have to say a single word for Dongwoo to know he feels the same.

-END-