(yee das right. whipping out the serious font because this is a serious story. not.)

She was my everything. The love of my life, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. We never even got to have little crispy children. 

I didn't care if she was so fat, she always brightened up my morning, lunch, and even at night. Just looking at her made me feel content and full. I would even wake up at 3 am just to see her, to feel her, to her.

We even had a ual relationship. She teased me a lot, she always got me so frustrated. I still loved her nonetheless.

But what can I do now? I can't feel her, can't see her beautiful tan skin, can't her like I used to.

She's gone.

I check the fridge daily, just hoping to see her magically appear like a miracle of some sort but I get disappointed when I only see expired milk. 

Oh bacon, my crispy bacon, why did you run out? I couldn't buy you at the nearest store anymore, it shut down.

The only way we can reunite is if I walk another 5 miles to the other market. 5 miles is too much, you got me so fat with your greasiness, I can't walk 5 miles.

And taking the bus? Girl, I spent all my money on you, I don't have that kind of money to take the bus. I might as well be a potato and just lay on the cold kitchen ground where I used to make you so crispy. 

This is my last good bye before I turn into a cold, raw, defenseless potato. 

Good bye.

_____________________

DIS IS SO SAD. I CREY EVERYTIEM. 

now bye, I need to be a fat potato. D;