Ever since I was young I have always felt something more for my childhood friend Key, something more than just friendship.

It was love…

 

 

I sat there staring at Key as he read his book. He ignored his surroundings whenever he read he also was wearing his reading glasses that made him look even cuter then he already was.

He is beautiful, his skin is clean with no cuts or bruises. I couldn’t help but stare; anyone could stare at him for countless hours and never get bored.

Even as kids Key would always draw a crowd and adults as well as kids would complement him telling him he was a beautiful and smart child.

When did this feeling start? When did I start feeling this way about Key? I have always loved him, even if I wasn’t fully conscious of this love.

whenever we would be alone, I would want to kiss him, hold him. I want to touch him and slowly embrace him.

I know I can’t though; I couldn’t break this friendship that has lasted so long, so I have always held it in and found other ways of releasing myself from this urge.

“Jong? Jong are you alright?” Key asked waving his hand in front of my face.

“Ugh- yea I’m fine” I said a bit startled.

He laughed covering his mouth “well it’s time to go home, didn’t you hear the bell?” he picked up his book and placed it in his bag.

I stood up and picked up my bag that was placed beneath my desk, Key was ready and waiting for me. “Okay lets go”

Key and I walked side by side everyday to and from school; we went to the same elementary, middle, and now high school. Of course he and I both tried our best to always be in the same school.

“So what were you thinking about Jong?” Key asked as we were leaving the school.

“Nothing, why do you ask?”

“lair, you always doze off like that when you thinking about something” he giggled.

That’s right I was thinking about you, but how can I tell you that. How can I tell you that I want to embrace you without ruining our friendship?

“Anyway Jong do you want to come to my house?, my parents are away for the week so no one is home”

“Um, I can’t today maybe some other time”

Key looked down at his feet a bit depressed. “I see, okay” he muttered.

Being in a house with Key all alone was dangerous for me, I wouldn’t be able to control myself and I don’t want to scare him.

“Jong we don’t hang out as much as we used to”

I looked at Key, he had a somewhat angry expression on his face, which only made him look cuter and his face turned red he almost looked like a cat with his tail between his legs.

I couldn’t help but to laugh, “What- why are you laughing?” he yelled. “I am being serious…do you not like hanging out with me anymore?”

“What!?, no that’s not the reason ( I love you, and I am afraid of scaring you that’s why!) it just I am busy”

Key sighed and gave in to the excuse I told. “Okay, I just wanted to hang out with you again like we always did” He still looked depressed.

I am selfish for not hanging out with him, because of a reason I am faulty with.

We continued to walk side by side, but not really saying much to each other making things a bit awkward.

I waved goodbye to Key as he walked into his house and continued to my house. We didn’t live far apart from each other only a block away. I walked alongside the wall covering people’s yards.

All I could think of is Key being alone in that house and I desperately wanting to be with him.  I stop and stood in my place. I was tempted to turn around and go back to Key’s house. Until I looked up and saw Taemin standing in front of my house.

“Hello Jong” Taemin said.

Taemin was a acquaintance from school, cute face and somewhat perfect personality, but he lacked in sense and morals. He would sleep with any man that asked and sometimes go around the city making himself prey to anyone.

“Hi Taemin, what are you doing here?”

He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “That was a unforgettable experience for me, I mean I have had my share of guys, but you, you were amazing.”

I grabbed his arms and yanked them off me and slightly pushed him aside. “that was a onetime thing, and It didn’t mean anything, so just forget about it.”

I walked forward to my house. That night with Taemin was a mistake something that should’ve never happened.

“Awe Jong, but you enjoyed it too right? So we should do it again sometime” Taemin grabbed the rim of my shirt and stopped me.

I turned around and grabbed him hand and squeezed it. “Look, I don’t like you like that, so please just go away”

Taemin laughed and forced his hand back. “I know you don’t like me…you like Key”

“How do you know this?” I asked demanding an answer.

“You called out his name that night, but I really don’t mind being a substitute for him. so what do you say?”

Taemin wrapped his arms around me and stood on his tippy toes pressed his lips against mine. It wouldn’t be bad to use in as a substitute; I thought about it for awhile.

“o-okay..” I agreed.

“Jong?” Keys voice echoed behind me. I quickly turned to see Key’s surprised face. He looked as if he seen a ghost.

“K-key what are you doing here?” I asked. I pushed Taemin off me and slowly walked to Key.

“I just wanted to return the book you lent me a few weeks ago” his mouth was open and the book was resting in his outreached hand.

“So this is Key?” Taemin boasted. “Hello I am Jong’s boyfriend, nice to meet you, I have seen you around school and Jong has told me so much about you”

“Wait Taemin isn’t my…”

“Hello I am Key; it’s nice to meet you too”

Key and Taemin shook hands and smiled at each other. Key then turned towards me and smiled, “congrats Jong, you should’ve told me sooner”

Taemin held my hand and pressed his chest against my arm. Key noticed it and frowned “well I better get going see you guys tomorrow”

“Wait Key!” I yelled. He didn’t stop he just continued to walk. I felt that running after him would make it worse and I couldn’t explain this mess to him.

“Taemin please go home today” I sighed.

Without actually saying goodbye to Taemin I just left him outside and walked into my house. I took off my shoes and slipped on my house slippers.

*Bam*

I slammed my fist against the wall. “AISH!” I yelled.

“What on earth?! Jong are you alright dear?” My mother asked coming from the kitchen in her apron.

“Y-yea, I am fine”

I quickly made my way upstairs and in my room.

 

I walked to school alone the next morning, I had a feeling that Key would want to neither see nor talk to me.

“Jong sweetie!” Taemin yelled attaching himself to me again.

“Let go Taemin, and leave me alone”  

“But aren’t we going out now, you already agreed…”

“You had no right to say that stuff to Key!” I yelled drawing attention to myself. “Just leave me alone”

I have ruined a friendship that has lasted years and now Key doesn’t want to even look at me. He is probably disgusted by me.

When I entered the class room I saw Key buried in a book, beautiful as ever. I walked up to my desk and took my seat next to him.

He didn’t pay attention to my presents.

I reached my hand and tapped his shoulder; He looked over at me and smiled. “Hey Jong! Why didn’t you walk to me with school this morning?” he asked. “Oh yea you were probably walking with Taemin right?”

He isn’t mad or disgusted with me? Does he even care about the fact I am “dating” Taemin?

“I see why you didn’t want to come over yesterday, but you could’ve told me the real reason” he pouted.

“No, but that wasn’t…”

“What?”

I almost told him the real reason on why I didn’t really go to his house yesterday. “Nothing” I finished.

He picked up his book again and started to read. He really wasn’t mad at me, I guess he really doesn’t care about it.

During lunch break usually me and Key eat lunch together, but today Taemin came to my class and at lunch, I invited Key but he declined the offer and went to the library instead.

“Look Jong I know you love Key, but I was hoping that maybe you could fall in love with me” Taemin smiled innocently.

Fall in love with Taemin?, maybe that’s not such a bad idea, but I don’t think I will be able just to forget about Key who I have loved since elementary.

“I – I am sorry Taemin, I just don’t think I will be able to”

“I understand, but I heard that one of my friends has his eye on Key and was going to confess to him today…during lunch break”

“What!” I jumped up and without thinking and ran out of the classroom down the hallway to the library. I stopped myself from opening the library door.  I crawled to one of the windows in front of the library that happened to be open.

The library was empty and it was just Key and that guy standing in front of each other.

“I am sorry” Key said.

I can hear their conversation.

“Why won’t you go out with me?” the guy asked.

“Because I already have someone I like, I am sorry”

“Is it that Jong guy who you always hang out with?”

There was a long silent pause and I was egger to hear the answer.

“Yes, but it seems its only a one sided love on my part he found someone”

Me! He loves me!

“Then why won’t you go out with me if he already has someone!”

“Because…I don’t know…I just don’t know”

“Okay..” the guy said.

I could hear him walk to the entrance so I hide by the nearest hallway. I saw him walk out depressed and right when he disappeared from my sight I made my way to the library.

Key was sitting at a table reading his book and I slowly walked into the library. I shut the door and walked to him.

“Jong!, what are you doing here aren’t you eating with…”

I grabbed his arm and pulled him from his seat, I kissed him.

“Wha-what are you doing” He pushed me off.

“I love you!” I yelled out. “I- I love you Key”

Keys eyes widen, “what?, but don’t you have Taemin?”

“No, I never loved him it was you, it’s always been you ever since we were kids. I have always loved you”

“Really?” he asked.

“Of course”

He smiled and started to cry, “why are you crying, I am sorry” I panicked.

“No, no I am happy, you see I have always loved you too Jong” he cried wiping his tears up. “I just couldn’t say it because I was afraid you might hate me”

We both started to laugh, I hugged him and kissed him gently and passionately.

“I love you Jong”

“I love you too Key”

 

END.