(A/N:) Italicized words are thoughts :))

(Jaemin)

My name is Park Jaemin. I've been in love with the same guy for the past 5 years. First, I thought it was puppy love since we were young back then. Now, I have completely fallen for him. Also, his special eyesmile is one of the reason why I fell for him.

I have no intentions of telling him that I like him or whatsoever. Not until my bestfriend nagged me into it. A lot of girls confess to Baekhyun except me. I don't need to do what they're doing.

If I confess to him in that way, it's like I'm competing with the others. I should confess to him because I want to, not because I'm THREATENED that he'll be taken away by another girl.

My bestfriend, Yuri, told me to confess to him in  a special occasion to be more you know... "special" according to Yuri. She thinks that he'll be happier in that way.

May 6,2012

Baekhyun's birthday

First Chance

It's the first time I've tried to confess to him. Along with Baekhyun's brother, Baekjoong(OC), and his bestfriend, Chanyeol, we went to Lotte World to celebrate his birthday.

"Hey, BIrthday Boy, any plans on having a girlfriend?" Chanyeol asked.

I blushed at what he said for no particular reason. Fortunately, none of them noticed.

"Let's not talk about that today, arasso? It's my birthday and I want to get my mind far from those things right now," Baekhyun laughed that flashed his eyesmile.

What he said made me stop from confessing. If I confess right now, his mood might change and I don't want that. And there goes my first chance.... It ended into a failure.

On that day, I went home with three hurtful things...

Sorrowful steps for the pain I'm experiencing now.

A beffudled mind for the sudden confession of Baekjoong to me.

A disappointed heart for my failed attempt in confessing...

There's always a second chance.....

December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve

Second chance

I went to Baekhyun's house, which is right beside ours, to meet him but found their family in despair when they found out about Baekjoong's sudden death. Knowing that his brother has feelings for me, my confession was, once again, stopped.

Baekhyun might think that he is betraying his own brother if he accepts my feelings. Well that's if he accepts.

"Jaemin-ah," Baekhyun called with his hoarse voice, "We found this in hyung's bag," he said as he handed me a box.

Not knowing what to do, I took it with my cold, trembling hands.

"Wear those gloves. I think hyung noticed your cold hands and knitted that for you. Who would've thought that he knows how to knit," he tried to joke but failed as he started to cry.

I wore the left pair on my left hand and wore the other one to Baekhyun's hand.

He looked up with his tear-soaked face, looking puzzled at my actions.

"I'm sure Baekjoong wouldn't want his own brother to have cold hands like mine," I said and flashed hima reassuring smile.

But his eyesmile never showed.

December 31, 2012

New Year's Eve

Third chance

Baekhyun and his family tried their best to celebrate New Year. Even though it's just days after Baekjoong's funeral, our families joined together to celebrate New Year together. Well, they believe in the saying, "The more, the merrier"

"Jaemin, 2012 will end in just a few minutes and you still haven't confessed to Baekhyun? What are you waiting for, the next century?!" Yuri scolded me.

"No need to rush, Yuri. I still have my chances," I confidently said.

"Yeah right. Well don't be sure about that. You don't know when will your one last chance might be..."

Yuri's word of advice gave me the courage to confess tonight.

"Baekhyun-ah, I want to tell you something,"

"What's that?" he asked.

I gathered all the courage and strength that I have to say it.

"Baekhyun, I really really li-"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" everyone shouted and fireworks became visible in the sky.

We both jumped happily and kept shouting. When all the noise, turned down, Baekhyun spoke.

"What were you trying to say earlier? I didn't hear it because of the commotion," he explained.

"Baekhyun, I really li-"

"Jaemin! Baekhyun! Come inside, food's ready!" our parents shouted.

"Come let's go. Want to race?" he challenged.

"Sure,"

"1..2..3!"

He got first inside and I was left a loser.

"Happy new year, Jaemin!" he flashed me his eyesmile and went inside.

The eyesmile I haven't seen since Baekjoong's death.

"Yeah. Happy new year and I like you Baekhyun," I whispered to myself....

February 14, 2013

Valentine's Day

Fourth chance

I breathed heavily as I step inside the school. This is my 4th try and I wish everything would go well.

"Jaemin, todays's your lucky day!" Yuri squealed before I can enter the room.

"No girls are confessing to Baekhyun. Here's your chance,"  she whispered to me.

This lightened me up. Is this the chance I've been waiting for? Is luck striking me right now?

Everyone was silent but it didn't feel awkward at all. This is my chance. I can do this.

I was about to go to Baekhyun when someone entered the room, namely, it was Taeyeon. That is when I felt an unfamiliar feeling that something not good will happen.

Baekhyun rose from his seat and approached Taeyeon. Then he delivered the words that shattered my heart in to million pieces.

"Kim Taeyeon, I like you so much and I've wanted to ask you this for a very long time. Would you be my girl?" he gave her a bouquet of red roses.

Everyone in the room cheered for them, leaving me with a broken heart.

Please say no...

"Yes! Yes!" Teayeon gladly accepted the roses and hugged Baekhyun.

How I wish I was her and you were mine...

I'm so stupid. I had so many chances but I wasted all of it. Now, my one last chance slipped away and was taken by this moment.

I stood up as I witnessed the most hurtful scene in my life. The love of my life is now taken away. And not taken by me but by someone else...

There, I saw his eyesmile again. The eyesmile he only showed to me. He shows it now to Taeyeon. The eyesmile that makes my heart flutter everytime I see i, but now it made my heart shatter.

It hurts to see Baekhyun's eyesmile, that once caused my happiness, is now being the happiness of Taeyeon.

But what can I do?

I'm not the one he loves.

Taeyeon is the owner of his heart.

While that eyesmile...

That boy...

Is something that I can only watch from afar now...