I was in love with you from the very beginning it was still in high school life. You were kind, considerate, caring, thoughtful, loving and the list goes on and on. I admire you from afar your like a star in the sky which is so hard to reach, too afraid to confront you in person and everyday i dreamt of what life would be like if you could only see me and love me the way i love you. To you and all the people, I was invisible, Yeah you saw me everyday but you were merly looking- never seeing. I was nothing to you, I'm just like a wind that past or a girl dreading to your attention but you never gave it to me. 

After a trying week of many conflicts and struggles, it was plain to see that you were being troubled by something and I decided to write you an anonymous letter to you in hopes curing your spirits. I decided to be your secret admirer i will give you a love letter or a caring letter. I quitely watched you from my hiding place, a smile appear on your lips as your expression softened which made me smile as well knowing that I made the guy that i love smile. 

After opening the neatly folded sheet of notebook paper that i had sleathily slipped into your locker that morning, you surprised me by flattening out the creases in the paper, taking delicate care of it before sliding it into your binder so that everyone can see it. You smiled to yourself and that was that. My heart did a little flip and  it beats so fast as i walked to my first class.

I decided to continue sending you letters cause it made you smile and so do I. But not only that i heard you talking with your friends about the girl who keeps on giving you the letter and how  you wished you can see that girl. I was nervous and scared that you will find me, i was afraid that you will be having a second thought and regret that you ever find out that it was me, a smiple girl. Every time your sad or sorrow i can see your reading one of my letters that i gave you, when your reading it the sorrow and sadness was washed away in your face , you were smiling just like the first time i saw you. Then a realization hit me I have hardly fallen in love with you. All i wanted is to see you smile and being positive. Thus i wrote you a third letter, which turned into a fourth and so on. I can't stop myself from writing you letters, i don't want to see you sad. Every time you read my letter i can see a honest smile , your smile was the reason why i couldn't stop writing. 

My letters were soon referred to as "Letter of Happiness". The school even knew about it, they even wrote the story of it in the school paper, but because i don't have friends and there was no one i can trust in the school, no one knew who is the girl writing the letter so it means no one knew my secret.  I know one day that someone will know that i was the girl and then it will spread. Somone  almost found out that it was me but me being a good actress and good at telling a lie , she slip it off . 

One night while i was laying in my bed i considered that the next morning  i will tell evryone the truth about me, but it was too late. All of them did not believe me, they thought i was a crazy lonely girl who is begging for attention. Since people didn't know the truth about who I was, they all started to assume. 

But then one day your bestfriend which is a girl told you it was her, you believe her immediately which broke my heart. She had strong feelings for you and yet you two know each other since you were like in grade 5 so you will immediately fall for that lie.

Little by little, you fall hard fot her. But you fall for her wrongly since you thought it was her who gave you those letters which made you smile and make you forget all the problems and how hard life is. You actually fall  in love with me and you did not' even know it. 

I love the thought that you were in love with my letters that i don't think you could ever love me since i was just a smiple girl, too far from your type of girl. So i decided to kept writing and sending you letters and let you believe i was someone else, i was that someone who you hold hands with, laugh with, kiss with and so on right now. And she certainly had no problem of me keeping on wiriting and sending you letters since it makes you fall for her more. 

Two years after you had graduated was the year that the girl you love and the girl you thought you love graduated. You came and saw me get my diploma, but the reason you came was to see the girl you thought you fall in love with and the  thought she giving you the letters. I saw the way you look at her, and it was then that i knew how much you love her, your eyes sparkle when you look at her i can see pure love on it and your love for her had grown stronger and deeper and it was all because of me and my letters. Even though it was all a lie that she was the one who wrote you the letters. I couldn't let myself to tell you the truth cause it will tear you two apart. It was hard for me cause i was hurt so much that the pieces of my heart is so tiny which is impossible to be fixed , i had learned how to wear a wask and just deal with the pain cause one day it will all fade.

Four years later, your wedding day came and i knew i was far too long overdure. You were about to marry into a life and love which is full of lie. Because i did not have enough courage to simply tell you the truth that it was me who wrote all those letters and who you really fall in love with. I wasted all of the chances to tell you the truth and destroy the chance being with you. But like i had for seven years i still love you and because i love you so much, i feel like you need to know the truth. 

For how many hours trying to find the right words to write in the last letter of "Letter of Happiness", but it was more hard and painful that i had intially anticipated. After and infinite amout of stationary paper and mangled emotions, i finally wrote the last words in the last letter. 

I know that telling the truth is too late and far too long and i wanna say sorry. I'm not who you think I am. The girl you are about to marry is not the girl who had writing and sending you letters all these years.  I know i should have told you the truth before, but you were so happy with her and i did not think you could be happy as you were if you found out who really i was cause i'm completely different and opposite from her. Since i love you so much, i wanted you to have everything you deserved, You deserved forever happiness and truth. And i wanna say sorry that i did not give you the truth when i should have given it to you. Because i gave you a damage right now. I want to say a final congratulations and my best wishes for your future and your family to be. 

You will always be in my heart.

On that rainy summer day of your wedding. I decided to sat in the very last row and watch your bride float down the aisle like a princess. I watched your eyes looking sadly at her as she said her vows. My heart was breaking into million tiny pieces which is so hard to fix and i just wanted to start a new life away from all the dramas in life immediately. My bags are already ready waiting outside is a taxi taking me to the airport. All i had to do is walk out of the chapel and i will be out in this painful world. But before i will be out and free in this painful world i want to make sure you were happy after lying to you for so long. Once you said "I DO" i would know you were going to be okay.

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as i waited for those two words to come out from your lips. I was waiting patiently my eyes was closed as tears keeps on coming out, but all i heard from you was "I can't". The crowd gasped in shock and i shot my eyes open up to you. You stared at me from the altar and i stared are you from my position. 

I ran outside the chapel i ran out from my fear. 

I felt your hands grab my by the waist and pulled me closer to you. The rain had stop but the sky is still gray. 

"I forgive you and i'm not mad at you. I can't leave without you, I don't want to loose you again. I promise i won't let go of you and i will always love you. Will give me a chance?" you asked me 

"Yes" i replied 

"I love you" you said. My heart did a flip and it was beating so fast. 

"I love you too" i said 

You kissed me in the lips, it was soft yet sweet it was full of love. The moment i kissed you back rain starts to fall down agaoin. Butteflies errupted in my stomach.

This is my first kiss

The best moment of my life. 

Everything started with a letter to Sehun.