The work week tends to begin on a Monday, so it's customary that Joonmyun also begins his new occupation at the start of the week.

By the end of his first week at TVXQ, though, Joonmyun's quite convinced that new employees should be admitted to their first day on Fridays, instead.

That way, they have an entire weekend following that fateful day to reflect on the misfortunes and ty runs of luck that have led them to this very moment in their meager existence, allowing them enough time to really decide if they actually want to continue down the new path they just embarked on.

With two whole days, Joonmyun reckons that he could have gotten plastered so many times that maybe he would have eventually forgetten what he had witnessed after hours Monday evening at the office while he was passing by one of the cubicles on the way to his own where he'd forgotten an important document.

Note to self: Tell Mother to eliminate steamed buns from the Christmas dinner table. Forever.

Jongdae constantly reminds Joonmyun that the latter is quite the observant individual prone to taking mental notes on just about everything and everyone in his surroundings.

Surprisingly, this is a very accurate statement that shockingly comes out of Jongdae's otherwise -filled mouth.

The trait is both a blessing and a curse that, in the case of his workplace, plagues Joonmyun rather extensively. In just one week, he's gathered so many observations of his fellow coworkers, some details rather informative and others just plain disturbing.

Joonmyun decides that, shockingly enough, there is one relatively sane individual in the department, aside from himself, of course, who Joonmyun is rather fond of. He'd made the correct assumption about the one with the headphones being of Chinese descent, and Joonmyun soon learns that his name is Zhang Yixing.

On Tuesday, Joonmyun's assigned to spend the day with the Chinese man in order to learn the ropes at the department and to catch up on the latest endeavor they've just started working on. During tiny breaks in between long stretches of instruction and application, the two ease into casual conversations where Joonmyun discovers that Yixing, who is coincidentally the same age as Joonmyun, is quite the level-headed young man with a glowing smile and a rich taste in music. Although he's only resided in South Korea for seven years, his Korean is strong and near fluent, hindered only slightly by a soft accent. He's forgetful at times, with Joonmyun spending nearly the entire day reminding Yixing his name, but that fact doesn't tarnish the already pristine image that he has of the young man.

However, Joonmyun quickly learns that even sharing the same breathing space as Yixing warrants any miscreant a punishment akin to the death penalty.

The executioner, it turns out, is that lanky, pasty kid that had so rudely given Joonmyun directions to the sales department on his first day. He's Oh Sehun, a twenty-one-year old student and childhood neighbor and friend of Chanyeol, the latter of the two having offered the jobless Sehun a paid position as his secretary for full hours during the summer and on his off days from university during the school months. Being a secretary, however, pretty much entitles an entire day of slacking off and doing coffee runs for the even lazier bunch in the sales department.

With hardly even a handful of emotions and expressions to his name, Sehun is a rather unassuming figure in the extraordinary circus show in their department; his default face, to everyone's delight, bears an extremely irritable and unamused expression, and his attitude is fit for a snobbish and bipolar prince(ss) with a pole shoved so far up his that he can pick his snotty little nose with it at the other end. Although he's the youngest of the bunch, he treats everyone like they're either lower than dog or something equivalent to that nasty and still-warm wad of chewed gum under a table that your hand accidentally skims over, greeting each person with glares and a sparse, yet acrid choice of words. The only person he spares from this outrageous behavior is Sehun's precious Yixing-hyung, the object of one of the most pathetic and painfully obvious crushes Joonmyun's ever encountered.

Joonmyun meets the little runt again on Tuesday when the latter is serving the team their custom-ordered caffeinated beverages. He'd been in the middle of a riveting conversation with Yixing, and the two are laughing at the Chinese male's childhood recollection about a unicorn-themed bounce house when the brat decides to grace the house of peasants with his presence. Sehun witnesses the entire scene, and he immediately shoots daggers at Joonmyun with malice brewing behind his otherwise blank eyes; Joonmyun can read the clear message in the twerp's glare, signaling him to "get the hell away from Yixing and never speak to him again." Joonmyun, however, is no pansy, so he cooly lets the kid know who's boss by shrugging and raising an eyebrow with defiance carved into his features. In response, Sehun delivers the newbie a malevolent stare that surely forbodes revenge in his near future. Sehun doesn't even bother to speak a single work to the rest of the employees until he reaches Yixing, which is where bratty Sehun disappears and is replaced by a cheerful, gentle "Sehun" complete with lovely eye smiles and a polite tongue. Joonmyun's jaw nearly unhinges as he gapes at the tender care this imposter takes when handing over the caramel latte to Yixing and offering his hyung any help with managing papers and making trips to the copy machine if necessary.

When Joonmyun learns from the grapevine that they aren't together, and Yixing's completely oblivious to Sehun's affections, he's not quite sure which person he pities more.

No, he takes that back.

He pities Joonmyun the most, a decision he makes later Tuesday afternoon when the second round of caffeine rolls in, and he's gagging violently on his hazelnut coffee, which, he discovers, has oddly been placed in a cup filled half way with salt.

Joonmyun's heard the ridiculously stale cliche about "not judging a book by its cover" a thousand times over, but humans are naturally judgmental, and first impressions set the bar for every single occasion. Therefore, it's completely logical that Joonmyun, or any other human for that matter, literally marvels at how loud, sardonic, and volatile someone like Do Kyungsoo, a squishy shortie with a button nose and snow globes for eyes, can be. If Monday's first impression wasn't a clear enough indication of the raven-haired male's true character, then Wednesday's debacle definitely eliminates any suspicions or cries of a fluke.

The entire department, under Chanyeol's orders, takes its third break of the hour, each employee occupying himself with the nearest piece of entertainment. The office remains in relative silence for several minutes before a shrill melody rings in the air.

The blonde with the massive brows and enormous hands is the first to respond to the noise, and he's immediately distracted from the basketball game he was watching on his laptop. Joonmyun recognizes the ring tone as Kyungsoo's, his gaze traveling to the young man as the latter reads the name flashing on the screen. A brilliant smile brightens up Kyungsoo's features as he unlocks his mobile and takes the call, his tone gentle and soothing as he speaks into the receiver.

Out of the corner of his eye, Joonmyun spots the closing of a laptop, prompting him to shift his attention to the blonde, who is sporting one hell of a mischievous grin. That's Wu Yifan, a twenty-eight year old Chinese man with a deep voice akin to Chanyeol's. When his boss and best friend isn't nearby, the blonde can actually be rather tacit and hard-working. However, pairing him up with Chanyeol breaks that awkward, silent outer shell and produces an obnoxious and childish Yifan who specializes in toilet humor and "mom" jokes. Yixing reveals to him that Yifan actually resided in Canada for a few years prior to his arrival in South Korea, which explains his habit of garnishing his sentences with English words.

Joonmyun spies Yifan tugging hurriedly on Chanyeol's arm, motioning with his eyes to Kyungsoo and leaning in to whisper a quick comment in his friend's ear. As if the grin plastered on his face was contagious, Chanyeol's lips stretch into the same expression, and the two nod as Yifan counts to three.

In a flash, the pair of idiots cup their hands around their mouths and begin to yell.

"Dude, pass the vodka !"

"Snort it, snort it !"

"I'd tap that !"

"Let's both take her home !"

"Hookers !"

By the time the two had escalated their vulgar comments to just extremely exaggerated and other suggestive noises, Kyungsoo had zoomed out of the room, eyes wider than ever and face paler than fresh snow.

Disgusted by the behavior of those two hooligans, Joonmyun slinks back to his cubicle and resolves to continue his work instead of wasting away in another one of these unnecessary "breaks."

The thunderous slam of the door drowns out the boisterous laughter, causing Joonmyun to jump in his seat and cease his typing so he can listen in on the chaos that is to ensue.

"What the , guys ? That was my mom on the phone !"

"You're not supposed to take personal calls at the office, Kyungsoo," Chanyeol singsongs, earning him a frustrated sigh from the shorter man.

"That's not the point here ! That doesn't make it okay for you to yell obscene for my mother or anyone else to hear !"

"Hey, hey, calm down there, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol's futile efforts to beat down a few lingering chuckles are failing miserably, further adding to Kyungsoo's ire.

Yifan's deep voice joins the conversation, mirth and derision bursting from his tone. "Chanyeol's just jealous that he wasn't the one taking the call because he totally has the hots for your mom."

"I swear I'll kick your all the way back to 1985 if you make another joke about my mother right now, Yifan." His tone is flat, yet threatening.

"Okay, okay. Sorry."

After a pause, Joonmyun hears a light thud, followed quickly by a small yelp of pain from Chanyeol. "Yeah, we're sorry about that, Kyungsoo."

"Kindergarteners," Kyungsoo mutters at last before falling silent. Joonmyun then hears the rustling of a magazine, assuming that the raven-haired male is returning his attention to yet another cooking magazine.

Wheeling his chair out of his cubicle and into the hallway, Joonmyun peers out and spots Yifan turning the corner and ambling towards his own cubicle, located at the end of the corridor, hands in his pockets and lips stretched into quite the mischievous smile. In the next second, the blonde halts and pivots on his heel, poking his head back into the conference area.

"Hey, Kyungsoo. So if you kick my back to 1985, does that mean that I have a chance to date your mom ?"

A loud smack of paper on the table is soon followed by the clattering of a chair on the ground, and Joonmyun literally has to grab a hold of his desk and yank himself back into the safety of his cubicle as a guffawing Yifan sprints down the hallway with a raging Kyungsoo bolting right after him with a stapler in hand.

The entire week has been like this, with Yifan pestering Kyungsoo and the latter smacking the tall Chinese man upside the head verbally and physically. Yifan doesn't seem to bug anyone else but the shorter man, and it's evident because none of the other coworkers react quite as well as Kyungsoo does. Minseok and Yixing are far too composed and difficult to crack, Chanyeol bounces right back and counters every jab with his own witty and stupid comment, and Yifan quite fears Sehun's capabilities of seeking revenge or retaliation through tainting his americano during coffee runs. Kyungsoo, quite frankly, is also the perfect target because of his fiery outbursts and short fuse, making him all the more enjoyable to torment in Yifan's view.

Yixing tells Joonmyun later Wednesday afternoon that these two were hired at around the same time one year ago, and the war between them started the moment they met each other face-to-face. Since then, every single day, they are always ing and bickering about something.

Apparently, they're sleeping with each other, too.

Huh.

Most individuals in a relationship, as one would imagine, tend to prefer sharing intimate and romantic moments behind closed doors.

Minseok and Luhan deviate quite a bit from the norm. Or from any norm, for that matter.

For one, the two happen to be the oldest men, along with Yifan, in the office at age twenty-eight, yet they both own faces that beg to be no older than nineteen or twenty. Joonmyun had nearly broken the floor at the office with his gaping jaw when Luhan had revealed his and Minseok's age, especially since Joonmyun was so close to dismissing them as university students probably picking up a few hours as interns.

More importantly, however, is the nature of their relationship, which is, for the lack of a better term, boundless.

Boundless in love, and boundless as in 'lacking any boundaries or limits.'

Joonmyun has seen several glimpses of what it means to indulge in a "boundless" relationship from these two, and he's treated to another wondrous display of such Thursday afternoon during their lunch break. 

On their busier days, the office tends to eat their lunch right at the conference table to cut travel and waiting time at restaurants and cafes. Kyungsoo, an avid cook, gladly offers to cook for the entire office on these days, much to his coworkers' joy.

The raven-haired man arrives with an assortment of foods from both home and world cultures, his eyes crinkling in delight as his coworkers marvel at the sight, smell, and taste of these incredible dishes. Joonmyun wastes no time in filling his plate to the brim with a little bit of everything presented so neatly and beautifully.

He finds his seat and immediately digs in. The fork hovers just above his lips, the savory smell of smoked salmon dancing seductively by his nostrils, and that's when Joonmyun looks up to find Luhan pointing at Minseok's mouth where several grains of rice cling to his bottom lip. A serene, loving expression paints Luhan's features as he cups Minseok's face and leans in to "snatch away those grains of rice" with his own lips.

A heartbeat later, Luhan's practically crawling into Minseok's lap and deepening the kiss that was so chaste just seconds ago, completely blocking out the fact that he's clearly at work in a public place where people are eating. If this isn't shocking enough, Joonmyun is struck incredulous by the glaring fact that nobody else is showing even a mild reaction to this.

Yixing notices Joonmyun's obvious astonishment though, grinning in amusement before tossing a quick comment in Mandarin across the table. With a rare showcase of civility, Luhan pries himself off of Minseok and turns his attention to the fellow Chinese man, offering a quick shrug with a smug grin before responding in a fast stream of his native tongue. Yifan, to his left, snorts, and the three chorus in a bout of laughter, leaving the Korean members of the office to themselves

Minseok peers out from over Luhan's shoulder, raising his hand and mouthing a quick "sorry" to Joonmyun before returning silently to his food. Joonmyun finds out that Minseok is best characterized by one word: tolerant. He's never seen the chestnut-haired man raise his voice, glare at someone, or even look remotely agitated by something. He can handle the spiraling vortex of stupidity from Chanyeol and Yifan, the tendencies of Sehun, and the occasional outbursts from Kyungsoo with relative ease, maintaining his composure and completing all of his work. He even accepts all of Luhan's touches and kisses without a single word of protest, even if there's an entire audience right there witnessing their massive amount of PDA, which is a feat all on its own.

Luhan's devilish grin flashes in Joonmyun's direction as the lively chatting in the Chinese corner dies down. Joonmyun learns that Luhan, a native of Beijing, has been living in Seoul for nearly a decade; his Korean even trumps Sehun's, a fact that the former enjoys rubbing into the young boy's face when he edits Sehun's university papers. He's quite talented in and beyond enthusiastic about soccer, and he spends most of his free time either watching a match or dribbling with Minseok on the pitch. The only thing that interests him more than soccer in life is the existence of one Kim Minseok, who literally attracts Luhan like a magnet with an iron filing. The Chinese man doesn't hesitate in letting the entire office, or maybe even the whole world, know that the chestnut-haired man is his and only his; he's not afraid to ravish Minseok's lips, his cheeks (both sets), and sit in his lap with others in their presence.

Joonmyun respects their relationship and all, but he's not sure how long it'll take for him to simply get used to all the touching and whatever else Luhan feels like doing.

He groans internally, in defeat, as Minseok rises from his seat to throw his trash out, prompting Luhan to deliver a firm smack on Minseok's admittedly fiiiine rear.

There's one observation about his boss that Joonmyun's made, and it's quite possibly the one detail about this bizarre department that irks him the most.

Everything about Park Chanyeol pushes Joonmyun's buttons and shreds his already thin, brittle nerves like none other.

For one, his boss is tall.

Joonmyun doesn't like tall people. They're a constant reminder that he's a vertically-challenged male.

His pride is especially dented when said giraffes intentionally bump into him on the way to the copy machine just so they can have the chance to peer down at him and utter casual apologies of, "Didn't see you down there, man," with amused grins dancing on their features.

Second, he's childish.

Park Chanyeol may be a twenty-five year old man with a nose that skims clouds and an enormous head surrounded by orbiting satellites, but he has the maturity level of a nose-picking pre-schooler who still needs a stepping stool to reach the sink so he can wash his grubby little hands.

Along with his partner in crime Yifan, the two wreak havoc in the office with their incessant banter, which is heavily ladden with inappropriate remarks and tasteless jokes. They have quips for every occasion, and they yield to no boundaries, fearless against accidentally offending anyone in the room.

Well, Joonmyun supposes that they really can't rub someone wrong in this office. This place thrives on offense.

In just one week, he's heard more degrading comments about mothers, smartass remarks about toilets, and jokes about anything even remotely related to reproductive organs than in his university days, and he's quite sick of it already.

Speaking of university days, the sales department apparently has a tradition where the entire office celebrates a festive theme every Friday. Joonmyun's first experience with this happens to coincide with "Throwback to the 70s," which literally brightens up the entire deparment with psychedelic colors and peace signs littering the walls and shirts. With the most colorful tie in his wardrobe acting as his single symbol of "70s pride," Joonmyun enters the office to find Luhan lip-syncing pretty terribly to ABBA with exaggerated motions and invisible mic included, Chanyeol rocking pink hippie shades and doing the disco underneath an imaginary disco ball, and Yifan bobbing his head to the music with a rolled up piece of printer paper fixed between his first and middle finger, a white tee with "Fight the Power" pasted in the center clinging to his lanky frame.

The other four, less eccentric, men amuse themselves with a round of poker, each dressed similar to Joonmyun with only a few accessories adding a splash of color to their otherwise businessman-like palette. By the looks of the winnings, Kyungsoo is trashing everyone and raking in the cash, clearly fooling everyone bluff after bluff with his well-crafted poker face that's even fooled Joonmyun outside of the game.

Yifan notices him first, bellowing out for him to join the three idiots in jamming to some quality beats. Minseok follows next, lifting a hand and flashing a smile in greeting before beckoning Joonmyun over to the poker table.

Somehow, Joonmyun's not really interested in dancing like a drunk at eight in the morning, and he's also not too fond of the idea of dumping all of his hard-earned cash into Kyungsoo's swindling lap. As he walks sullenly towards his cubicle to either start another round of punching numbers or cry, Joonmyun catches a glimpse of Luhan lifting Minseok into his arms and twirling him around to the chorus of "Dancing Queen."

Third, he's younger than Joonmyun.

It's ing mindblowing how someone as immature, irresponsible, and childish as Park Chanyeol can be the head of the sales department at such a prosperous company. It's illogical. This clown is younger than him, and everyone else bar Kyungsoo and Sehun, yet he still has the ability to order everyone around and exercise his authority at any given moment. Now, Joonmyun's reasonable, and he'd surely get over accepting orders from a younger boss with exceptional qualifications, heightened maturity, and a heart for diligence. Park Chanyeol, clearly, does not present these outstanding qualities, and this aggravates Joonmyun to no end. He was a very successful student at school and in his high-ranked university, so Joonmyun's at least relatively qualified and actually willing and capable to accomplish a great deal when he sets his mind to it. He's not here making crude jokes and wasting working time to bring back the "groovy" days.

And this is where Joonmyun finds himself now, on Saturday evening, sprawled over the top of his kitchen table with the cold condensation from the outside of his fourth beer can prickling his flushed cheek.

He's spent nearly three hours dishing out a harsh reality check on his present status in life so far as a static and unassuming twenty-seven year old, and he's still unsure whether or not he wants to even return to his new position as zoo keeper in the sales department.

At this very moment, being jobless for at least another month is sounding much better than ever hearing another suggestive sentence with the phrase "disco stick" from Yifan's mouth.

But then again, there will be the myriad of ing lectures that he'll receive from Jongdae if he hands in that resignation letter or fails to show up for work.

Maybe this first week was just some sort of initiation process for the fresh meat.

Maybe the office is actually somewhat sane and productive with relatively normal employees and coworkers.

Or maybe he's just so smashed that this is just futile, hopeful thinking.

Oh, here comes the bile.

Cheers to you, toilet bowl. Happy Saturday.

---

eep here's a crappy update.

enjoy. ))