Just looking at you

 

Whenever I saw you I feel strange,

Just looking the way you move even just a second I feel like all of my stressed  feelings are all out,

Just looking at you I feel relief because you’re safe,

Just looking at your brown orb eyes melts me already,

Just looking at your angel like face makes my heart beat fast,

Just looking at your lovely smile makes me tremble because of the feelings that I can never say to you,

Just hearing your angelic voice is the one I really admire from you.

Even in 1 minute I want to tell you how I feel about you, even in 1 minute I want to say the things I like about you, even in 1 minute I want to hear the things you like, even in 1 minute I want to touch you to feel what is happiness Is like?, even in 1 minute I want to smell your perfume cause it driving me crazy, Even in just a minute I want to hold you in my arms at the same time I’ll tell you how much I LOVE YOU.

But destiny can never lie because we have different world and the painful part is I can’t show you the things I want because my world is sensitive one wrong move and I will fall from the top.

I can never be with you; I can never let other people saw me with you because words can kill you. I want to protect you but it hurts me a lot seeing you with another man that can make you happy.

I’m not worth it, so I’m just going to stay the distance between you and me.

But in 1 minute I want to do the things I want that will show how much I feel for you.

I want to hear you say I LOVE YOU TOO.

“I’m so tired. Hey! Ricky buy some snacks outside” leader CAP hyung said.

“aish~ hyung I’m so tired! Andwae!” ricky said while rolling at the floor.

“l.joe” CAP hyung called.

“ANI! My foot hurts a lot I can walk for a while.>.<” l.joe hyung said while pretending that he can’t stand.

“I volunteer” I said. I stood up, grab the money and head out the practice room.

I always ended like this. Because I have a reason to go out and buy snacks, after the long practice we had.

For a week I didn’t get the chance to see you~

I walk to the nearest mini-mart but before I took a step in, inhaling first because at last I can see her again.

“annyeonghasaeyo!” she greeted with that lovely smile I want to melt in my place.

“oh~ annyeong” I bow and headed to the corner where I can see her face, pretending that I was looking at the snacks but honestly I want to see her face for a while.

*riiiing*

“yobeosaeyo?” I answer my phone,  Aish~ they can never wait.

“arraseo! Just a minute please! ” I said and hang off the phone.

I went to the counter to pay my bills and there I can look at her with no problem. She’s so pretty even she’s just an ordinary girl.

“sir. 10000 won” she said.

And I lend the money and wait until this 1 minute time will end.

I sigh when I step out the mart.

*sigh* this can be the last time I’ll see you, our comeback is near and for sure I can never visit you.

I lastly glance at her inside and she’s so beautiful, her smile, her voice, her face and her touch. I always remember the last time I touch his hand. It’s so soft, but I can’t hold that hand for a long time. *sigh*

I walk back at the practice studio while reminiscing the past.

-Flashback-

“yah! Watch out!” I shout and held her hand. I pulled her towards my chest and I heard her gasp.

“oh! Mianhe!” she untagged from my arms and bowed 3 times.

“You’re not looking on your way, you might get harm” I calmly said. When I look at her she has wonderful eyes. I unconsciously stare at those brown orbs eyes but look away quickly.

“but thank you, thank you for saving me” she looked at me straightly at my eyes, it can melt me down already.

“no problem, but make sure next time watch your going, arrasseo” I assured her.

“nae! Thank you again” she bowed and leaved because I can sense she’s in a hurry in the other way.

 

I stare at her back while feeling the touch of his skin in my hand. This is not right changjo! It’s not you, I mentally slap myself.

“CHANGJO OPPA! Saranghaeyo!” yeah! I heard my fans they always say this to me. I’m happy because of this but there still missing pieces I have been searching for.

Our comeback is successful Miss Right song is a hit.

*_____-ah I wish you are watching my performance* I thought.

“changjo let’s go.” Niel hyung called. I hop on the van and drove off. After a long day I can sleep for 8 hours and tomorrow another busy schedule again. *____-ah don’t stressed yourself like I’m doing to myself, it hurts me seeing you in pain*

“ah~ manager hyung, we don’t have stock of food left at the ref, can we drop by at the mini-mart?” Chunji hyung said.

My mood enlighten when chunji hyung said that. I want to volunteer but it will makes them reason to tease me because they are now thinking why I always want to go to the mini-mart.

“arrasseo, Chunji and changjo I’ll drop the 2 of you at the mini-mart near our practice studio.” Manager hyung said.

*yes! I can see her~ my princess*

“Eh~ why me?” I pretending to be confused said.

“I’ll go if changjo-“I cut L.joe hyung.

“Annyeonghasaeyo!” ____’s grandmother said.

Where is ____? I asked myself.

“changjo asked the ahjumma if they have this ingredients” chunji hyung lend me a piece of paper.

“ok” I said and went to the ahjumma.

“ahjumma do you have this ingredients?” I pass her the paper and she just look at it.

“____-ah! ” *omo! I thought she’s not here* I exclaimed inside my mind.

“nae!” she suddenly popped out and I look to her direction.

OMO! She’s so cute, she’s wearing a geek glasses which it’s fits her so much.

“go to her and let her see this.” The ahjumma gave back the paper to me and I went fast to _____-ah with a smile from my face. Oh! Scratch that. I made a poker face and went to her.

“oh~ what can I do?” she asked with a smile.

She’s so pretty with her outfit! >.< I’m falling to her deeply. I wish time will stop and let me see this girl for at least 24 hour, I don’t mind standing here.

“hey! Ahm… this!” she mentally slapped my thought.

I look at her hands holding a plastic. Hey! Wait when did she pack this?

“oh! Thank you” she place the holder to my hand and there I felt the spark again.

*it’s still soft like before* I thought but something caught my eyes it’s a ring at her ring finger.

“are you engaged?” I said quickly without even thinking what will she think back.

“ani! I found this ring, year ago and it didn’t fit my other fingers, so I just place it in my ring finger” she said and chuckled.  She let me see the ring. ”where did you find it?” I asked her. “here, when I’m sweeping the floor I saw this why?” she explained.

“because it’s mine.” I laugh. She look at me and I feel strange it’s not comfortable thou.

“omo! I’m sorry, here” she pulled out the ring at her finger

“no! I’ll give it to you already, its been a year ” I said. “if you can see the craved letters at the ring its my initial J” I explained. She looked inside the ring and she cutely gasped.

“oh my! I’m so sorry! I didn’t see this” she said while pouting.

SHE’s so CUTE!

“do you know me?” I asked her because I think she didn’t recognize me.

“huh?... of course, You’re name is jonghyun but you’re well known as Changjo of Teen Top and that’s Chunji, right?” she answered.

“yup! Nice meeting you” I said and held his soft hands for a hand shake.

“are you a fan? ”

“Angel?”

“aha!”

“80%, I’m an Inspirit, but I shipped TeenFinite” she cheerfully said.

“ouch! ” I pretend to be hurt.

“ but you’re my BIAS in TeenTop ” she said and lean forward, and tiptoed.

Our faces are just inch apart.  *budump budump* my heart beats so fast.

“Your so tall changjo-shii, are you sure your just 17 years old. Because I’m 17 years old too your 2 months older than me” she giggled cutely.

“hahah! Yup! I’ am” I replied, this is the 1^st time I talked to her more than 1 sentence! I’m so happy I can die right now!  

“Jonghyun-ah! Lets go!” I heard chunji hyung.

*aish! Its time already my dream came true already! I’m talking to ____ as if were just friends and there chunji hyung will just call me!*

“omo! My cakes! ” she gasped and walks away.

“Changjo-shii, nice meeting you in formal, I always wants to talk to you when you’re buying here but I think sometimes you’re in a hurry for some talks from your fan.” She said and bowed before I leaved

“___-ah I’m dropping here sometimes ok? I want to talk to you as a person not just like a fan I promised” I assured. I smile and she looks so cute, you know why she’s actually blushing.

 

“so! She’s the reason why do you always want to buy the groceries, mhm!” chunji hyung said.

“please hyung don’t ever tell this to anyone!” I begged.

“arasseo! Just don’t let fans to see you with her” he replied.

“arasseo, I won’t let her get harm by some sasaeng fans” I said, I heard chunji hyung chuckled.

“wae?” I look at him.

“Because you’re actually In Love to that girl, right?” he said.

After a few weeks past, our promotion for miss right is done but schedules are so hectic that I can’t lay my eyes to _____ for a minute. Even thou chunji hyung help me but it never works.

“waaah! Hyung help me I want to see her!” I groaned.

Chunji hyung chuckeld “I’m doing it but manger hyung can’t let us go out.”

“Boys!” manager hyung called when he enter our dorm. We gathered at the living room quickly.

“ok! I know you’re bored and you guys want a free time. So I’m giving 1 day for you to relax.”

“yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees” we all cheered.

*I can see her again; maybe I’m going to invite her in a date, huh? Date can I do that, omo! I guess I’ll ask chunji hyung for help*

“but please don’t make troubles or problem, after your free time tomorrow were all going to Singapore, Thailand and China for your promotions and some are music shows guessting”  manager hyung said and left.

“HYUNg! Hyung!” i went to chunji hyung and I explain what I’m planning for tomorrow.

 

“I’m going! See yah later” I said and left the dorm.

I heard ricky shouted we’re am I going but I didn’t reply.

L.joe hyung, chunji hyung, and CAP hyung will just use there free time at home and niel hyung went to his Café shop.

I passed by a flower shop and I decided to buy a piece of red rose. I wish she will like it.

Is ____ is here? I looked outside the mart but decided to enter, her grandmother greeted me. I purposely pretend that I’m buying then suddenly

“ahjumma, is ____ is here?” a man in my age too asked I looked at him.

“I’ll call her, just a minute” she said.

I sat at the chair with table outside the mart and suddenly I saw ___ with that guy earlier.

I hate it, who is him to _____?

I unconsciously staring at them but I guess they didn’t mind my presence.

It’s hurt; it hurts me, seeing ____ with other guy.

I can’t hear what are they talking but one thing it hurts me a lot he’s holding _____’s hand.

Aish~ I’m so jealous, yeah! I’m jealous I can’t do to ____ that way. I can’t hold her hand for so long, and now that guy, he hugged _____.

A drop of tear fell from my eye.

This guy dragged ____ away, ____ is smiling so I don’t need to get mad.