oh god it has been just over a month since i last updated. i is sorry ._.

this has not been edited. will do it tomorrow

amor vincit omnia; love conquers all

Kris is, at first sight, intimidating. He towers above everybody; his hair dark, visage stormy and stride confident as he disembarks from the great ship. Tao leads the way and they meet Suho on the shore, Kris’s expression lighting up into a surprisingly sincere smile.

“Prince Suho,” he greets warmly. He tilts his head in acknowledgement. “It’s a pleasure to have arrived at last.”

“The same to you,” Suho returns. “I trust your voyage was a pleasant one?”

“It was fine. Your naval commander is a most wonderful companion.”

Tao’s cheeks turn pink. “M-my lord,” he mumbles, bowing at the waist. “That was most unnecessary.”

Suho chuckles. “Let’s return to the castle, then. We have your quarters prepared.”

Over by Lay and Xiumin, Chen pulls on one of their tunic sleeves. Who is he?

“Oh? Suho didn’t tell his little boy from the river about Kris?” Lay teases. He gets elbowed by Xiumin as the older man leans over on his horse.

“Prince Kris is quite well known in across the sea. I think this is his first time here,” Xiumin says. “He and Suho have only ever corresponded by letter. I think you’ll like him – he’s easy to get along with, they say. Charismatic, easy on the eyes and, well, unwed…”

Chen is not so sure he likes what he is hearing.

Xiumin is right. Kris strikes up conversations left, right and centre when Suho takes him for a quick tour of the palace. The king and queen are very much enamoured, although the king does spend considerable amounts of time discussing what seems like serious matters. By the time the welcoming banquet is in full swing the castle’s inhabitants are abuzz with talk of the visiting prince.

Suho introduces Chen to him while the food is being served, and he falters when stating who exactly Chen is.

“Acquaintance?” Kris offers, eyebrow raised.

Suho grins sheepishly. “You could say that. He’s mute, the poor mite.”

Chen is somewhat affronted. Acquaintance? Was that his relationship with Suho?

“I see. You keep such fair company! But I think it’s safe to say you surpass every man here, my dear prince Suho,” Kris says, smile wide.

Suho blushes. “Not at all,” he insists modestly. His food is very interesting all of a sudden. “You say too much about.”

Chen pointedly ignores them both and eats in silence. He listens to the topic of their conversation move from the wines at their table to economic affairs and then to the surprising number of interests they shared, but the next subject makes him perk up immediately.

“In fact, not more than two months ago, I was on my way there! Unfortunately we were outdone by a storm at sea,” Suho was saying.

“Were you far out? How did you make it back?” Kris asks, curiosity piqued.

“I was the only one found on the shore the following day, strangely enough, because I was unconscious and didn’t even remember even being in the water..”

“What a of luck! Fortune favours the best of men, doesn’t it?”

“No, no!” Suho holds up his hands. “I still don’t put it down to luck, despite how many times I’ve been told. I couldn’t have possibly made it to land alone. There was somebody else, I tell you.”

“Oh?” Kris and Chen both lean forward at the same time. “How can you be so sure?”

“I waited by the sea every day, maybe in the hopes that they would come. I often compose while I’m there. One day I swear on my lineage I heard somebody sing my songs back to me. It was a beautiful voice, like nothing I’ve heard before, but in the end I never found who it belonged to.”

Suho sighs wistfully. “I feel that person saved me, no matter how strange it sounds. I would give my heart away to such a kind soul.”

“I’ll gladly take it if nobody lays claim,” Kris laughs. “It would be a pleasure to call your heart mine.”

Suho flushes bright red. Chen eyes Kris carefully.

While the visiting prince is openly friendly in contrary to his overbearing countenance, he also openly displays his apparent interest in Suho and it grinds on Chen’s nerves. Suho himself has still shown no signs of pledging his love to him, despite their many trysts beneath the royal family’s nose.

“What do you think of Kris?” Suho asks that night. They lie together in the sheets, limbs entangled in each other and Chen’s head of chocolate hair pillowed in the crook of Suho’s neck. “Do you like him?”

The quiet mood is suddenly spoiled, and Chen doesn’t fall asleep until dawn.

Chen’s mind is a myriad of confused thoughts. He lies torn between Suho’s happiness and the threat that is Kris, who is slowly integrating himself into the palace.

He has the most riveting stories to tell of his homeland, the wealth to feed a nation and charms that have the kitchen cooks burning the meats in their distracted state. He doesn’t hesitate to ask Suho to go on hunting trips, or for a dance at Tiffany’s betrothal celebration, nor does he restrain himself from flattering Suho in ways that would make even a woman squirm and cover her face in denial.

On the other hand, Suho seems highly receptive. On the rare occasion he asks Kris to sing (and even Chen finds the smooth, low tones of his voice calming) but recently he has been returning the subtle touches and looks with as much confidence as they were delivered with.

I would give my heart away to such a kind soul.

Chen’s fallen in love with a smile that brightens because of somebody else, while he himself begins to embody the forgotten childhood toy, lying by the wayside.

“Let’s talk outside,” Suho mumbles one night. “The night air might clear my head a bit.” Chen stops in his tracks.

The two of them are preparing for bed, Suho fiddling with the hem of his old grey tunic and refusing to look anywhere but the floor. Chen’s skin prickles uncomfortably.

Kris? his eyes ask when Suho leads them out, and the latter’s gaze alone tells him yes.

The human prince takes a breath. “Do you remember,” he says anxiously, “when Tao set sail a few months ago?”

Chen remembers, but he’d never been told the reason.

“He was actually going as a part of our negotiations with Kris’s family. Their home country is still new; a baby compared to the centuries my castle has stood here. The majority of their kingdom is inland but their coastal border lies without protection. Our naval forces are strong, while his are weak. Tshe barbarians from the islands are near, and Kris has chosen to come to us in his time of need.”

Chen lets silence hang in the air, his mind processing the information. There must be more to it than that. What about you? You’re not obliged to help him.

Suho has expected him to ponder such a question. “Kris has valuable resources that we don’t have, because we live by the sea,” he says. “Things that we can’t grow because of all the salt in our soils. Expanded trade routes. Economic growth. Kris could provide us with valuable alliance during the long winters, when the waters turn cold and we depend on our harvests.”

Chen shakes his head profusely. What aren’t you telling me?

Suho knows he’s lost the fight. His expression is stiff and uncomfortable in the chilly night. He gently places his hands on Chen’s shoulders.

“Kris also came with a marriage proposal,” he pushes out in one breath, and almost closes his eyes in the hopes that he will not have to see the pain on the sea prince’s face.

It’s as if even time has stopped to give them their crushing moment; and the world screeches to a halt on its tilted axis.

Suho swallows and gingerly takes an unresponsive Chen into his arms. “My parents have already discussed it. But is…” he trails off, carefully picking his words, “is it so bad that I think I have feelings for him too?”

It is, Chen thinks as he forces himself to remain calm, it is the worst thing in the world.

He takes Suho’s wrists and removes his arms. He points to him, and back at himself.

What about us?
Suho sighs and turns his back. The tears are coming, and he wants to hide them no matter how cowardly it looks.

“We… I don’t think it would work out between us,” he admits. “I am a prince after all, bound by obligations and duties. But what are you? A beggar, a commoner, a nomad? I don’t even know who you are. Maybe we really are from two different worlds.”

He’s wrong. He’s all wrong, and there’s nothing Chen can tell him. He reaches out with a trembling hand, and the prince speaks again.

“I’m going to tell him yes,” Suho says quietly. His voice wavers like he doesn’t trust it anymore. “If I accept, we will be married in four days’ time.”

Chen’s hand drops back to his side.

Suho turns around again and smiles crookedly, a shadow of its former brilliance. “I wish it didn’t pain me so much to say this,” he laments. “But while you are dear to me, you can only really be just the boy from the river.”

Their eyes meet, and something unspeakable passes between them. Suho cups Chen’s face in his hands, thumbs rubbing over strong cheekbones and pressing soft, pink lips against his forehead. “Such eyes,” he murmurs with a touch of sadness and wonder. “What sort of place do you have to be from, to be the kind of person who has no voice, but eyes that can speak in its place?”

He lets him go, and turns on his heel to give his parting words before he leaves. “I’m sorry. You should go back inside. It will be cold tonight.”

It is a strange sensation, Chen thinks, as his first tears fall, glimmering like precious stones in the waning moonlight.

How can I be dear to you, if I’m only the boy from the river?

And then his old world is suddenly calling to him, harmonies sung by a voice he knows all too well and has recently come to dread.

Luhan is already at the river waiting, Sehun with him, when Chen escapes  down to the bank. The last of the blond merboy’s song dissipates into the night.

He ignores the pain in his feet and tears through the water and into Luhan’s outstretched arms. He sobs violently, chest heaving in gulps and his salty tears dripping onto Luhan’s damp skin. Sehun whines while Luhan rubs soothingly at Chen’s back and clutches him tight.

“I saw it,” he confesses simply into Chen’s hair. The scent is something he hasn’t smelled in a long, long time, and it makes him ache. “Do you understand now, that merpeople and humans can’t exist as one?”

Chen can’t speak, even if he wanted to.

“Everyone misses you. Your father is ill with grief. Chanyeol is worried. I would give up anything to have you back, Chen. Please.”

The tears fall again, unrelenting.

“Come back, Chenchen,” Sehun whimpers. “Lu misses you the most.”

Luhan glares at the tiny merboy. You told him, didn’t you? he hisses soundlessly, and Chen knows that Luhan knows. It hits him like a lightning bolt.

You still love me, he mouths, wiping his wet face with the back of his hand. Even after all I did.

“It’s been a long time since I realized. Many summers,” Luhan remarks wistfully. His arms tighten around Chen’s back, as if he’s unwilling to let go. “Suho will be married in four days’ time, is that right?”

Chen nods into Luhan’s shoulder. The tang of the sea is strong, but it feels like anything but home.

“I went to Kai,” Luhan says without warning. Chen’s eyes widen in shock and he clenches his fists.

“I exchanged a summer of my life for him to tell me, since you wouldn’t,” Luhan continues grimly, “and what did I get to hear? He told me you would turn to foam on the morning after Suho pledges his love to another. Do you think that was really what I wanted to hear?” He makes a choked, strangled noise and has to push himself away. Chen stumbles slightly and Sehun darts in to steady him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Luhan cries, and Chen is all too reminded of their previous meeting. “I knew it. I should have never let you go to the surface. How will you convince Suho to not marry in a mere four days? How did things come to this? You can’t die, Chen. I can’t live like that.”

It’s not your fault. It was my choice from the start.

Luhan sinks further into the water, his head buried in his hands. “I couldn’t protect you,” he mutters. “The only thing precious thing to me and I couldn’t even protect you– ”

Luhan –

Sehun swims over to him but the blond merboy has already retreated below the surface. He looks apologetically at Chen.

“Sorry,” he mumbles. “I have to go find Lu. I miss you, Chenchen. Come home soon, okay?”

The former sea prince is left to stand in the water alone as his mind reels in shock. Luhan blamed himself out of all people; he’d taken on his shoulders the rage and shame for actions he couldn’t even call his. His love was one Chen felt he would never come to deserve. Kind-hearted, selfless Luhan.

Humans can shed their sadness as tears, but the mer cannot weep. And so Kai’s words ring true; the people of the sea are always destined for sorrow.

Chen sleeps alone that night, too heartbroken to be near the one thing he can look at but is no longer his to touch.

Sehun catches up to Luhan easily but neither of them say a world until they get home. Luhan storms about, whipping up currents that sweep his grandmother’s trinkets off their shelves and send Sehun head over tail into various objects. The little merboy looks worried as Luhan finally settles some time later and stares broodingly into space.

“Lu,” he tugs on Luhan’s fins, “what are you going to do?”

Luhan pats his hands away. “Chen will die in four days if I don’t save him, Sehunnie.”

Sehun shrinks at his blunt choice of words.

“I won’t forgive myself if I let that happen,” Luhan swears.

“B-but– ”

Luhan heads for the door.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“To fix this,” Luhan says shortly. “I’m going back to where this all started.”

“Oh. Let me come!” Sehun eagerly swims after him. “I want to help too.”

“No,” the older merboy snaps. “Don’t follow. The leviathan is no laughing matter.”

“What?” Sehun nearly shrieks. He clings on Luhan’s arm in a fit of sudden desperation and tries to pull him back. “You can’t go to him. He’s bad. He took Chenchen away…”

“Get off me,” Luhan snarls. “Do you want Chen to die? Do you?”

He throws the boy off, sending him to the ground in a jumble of fins and green scales, and swims off into the dark waters.

Sehun curls up in the corner and whimpers uncontrollably.

“Don’t go, Luhan,” he sobs, rubbing at his sore tummy from where he’d banged into the side of the table, “don’t let him take you away too.”

Three nights later, the most distraught cries drift from the river. The sheer torture of hearing it has Chen throwing his coverlets back and racing down to the sandy banks as fast as his legs will carry him.

He wishes he hadn’t met the eyes off the blond merboy. Luhan is a picture of pain and hopelessness, despair and tears that cannot fall. No sooner has Chen stepped into the water is Luhan upon him, pulling his body into an embrace that bears no warmth of comfort at all.

“I found a way,” Luhan whispers into his dark locks. “I found a way for you to come home.”

What?

Something cold gets shoved into Chen’s hand, and he brings it up to his line of sight.

It’s a silver knife, its ornate gold handle poking out of a sheath that has unintelligible symbols inscribed into it. He stares at it, dumbfounded.

“Tomorrow,” Luhan says slowly, “is the day of the wedding.”

Chen nods, his heavy heart pounding wildly. He’s been avoiding Suho for the past few days. The entirety of the castle has been in a festive mood since the news of Suho’s betrothal, and any time Suho has to himself is quickly swiped away by Kris. Chen’s relationship with Suho is strained and tense, to say the least, and Kris’s presence fails to help in the slightest.

“Listen to me.” Luhan’s breath comes strongly against Chen’s hair. “Wait until before the sun rises on the morning after Suho is wedded. You must take this knife and with it, pierce his heart through.”

Chen shoves Luhan away, his blood running cold. You… you’re telling me to kill him.

“Let his blood drip on your feet and come to the water,” Luhan carries on calmly. “And your legs will become one again. That is the only way you can return to the sea alive.”

Chen starts to back away. I – I can’t just kill –

He suddenly looks at the knife as if it were toxic. Where did you get such a thing?

Luhan shrugs oddly. “Kai,” he answers as if it were obvious. “Where else?”

Chen’s worst fears have confirmed themselves. The hand clasping the knife shakes, and he is glad he cannot speak. If he had his voice he doesn’t think he’d ever have the courage to ask the next question.

He doesn’t have to. Luhan’s eyes turn as dark as the night.

“Sehun,” he finally chokes out brokenly, the thin line of his pressed lips trembling. “Kai took him. That stupid boy. He followed me, and offered himself as the one thing I valued the most!”

Luhan’s voice crescendos until he is nearly screaming. “He gave himself up, Chen, for my happiness, and to save you,” he cries. “He’s only ten! For his sake, please, don’t let his sacrifice go to waste. I’m begging you.”

The tears fall once more, swallowed up by the rushing waters of the river as Luhan delivers his final ultimatum.

The wedding ceremony takes place on a giant ship docked in the cove. Chen attends out of respect for Suho, but his heart weighs as heavy as the anchor that keeps the ship in place. He smiles but it’s fake, merely a cover for the thoughts that erode his insides the way the tide turns shells into sand. He fervently avoids Suho as much as possible. It’s easier than he expected. The prince is constantly swarmed by guests from the moment he steps out onto the deck. He takes the time to admire him, sleek hair styled and his small form filling his pressed outfit nicely, and he wishes all the more that Suho was his.

Chen subtly glides his palm up his hip to check that the knife is still there and it is, warm metal against smooth skin.

The warm tones of the sun bleed away and slip beyond the horizon, and darkness crawls in. The celebrations on the deck continue long through the night but Chen is too restless to sleep. Instead he hides among the guests, watching and waiting.

In the early hours of the morning he spots Suho sneaking away to retire. He gives the prince time to fall asleep before opening the door to the ship’s royal chamber and peeking inside. Kris is not inside and Chen remembers seeing him on the upper deck, still drinking with a group of guests.

He pads along quietly to the giant bed where Suho is tucked in on one side, his hair mussed and face carefree in his sleep.

You are nothing but innocence, Chen murmurs, standing over the human prince’s body. In a way, I wish you had never met me… and maybe then things wouldn’t have to be this way.

He unsheathes the knife, the silver blade gleaming dully in the low light, and holds it over the chest of the sleeping form. The longer he looks at Suho, the more his hand feels weak.

He tries to convince himself that this is for Luhan and Sehun. This is the only way out of this mess he’s created.

His vision turns blurry and he blinks his eyes to clear them. His cheeks feel wet and the tears that have trailed down drip off and spatter Suho’s face.

He can’t do this to him.

The tears fall freely now, and a small part of him marvels at the amount of sadness humans can release.

Just do it, he urges himself. Luhan will never forgive him if he doesn’t.

Two soft, pale hands gently cup his face, the thumbs that would always rub his cheekbones wiping away the tears this time.

“What are you doing?” Suho murmurs, his voice a mix of shock and bewilderment. “Good lord, what were you thinking?”

He prises the knife from Chen’s death grip and sets it down on the bed before throwing his arms around him, nearly pulling him down to the bed.

“I’m sorry,” Suho sighs. “I’m so, so sorry that things had to come to this. Please don’t cry. If there’s anything I can do for you–”

Suho never places himself before others, Chen realizes. He had placed his duty to his kingdom before his own happiness. He had no obligation to Chen, yet he still thought of the boy’s happiness.

Where I only wanted your love for myself because I was so selfish, you were not. The realm of the skies bless you, Suho, because I don’t deserve even half of your soul.

He wrenches himself out of the human prince’s hold and snatches up the knife sitting on the covers.

Suho’s eyes widen in alarm. He bolts out of bed but Chen has already backed up towards the window, silver blade poised over his chest

Don’t come any closer.

“No,” Suho cries, face stricken and his hand outstretched, “don’t do this. We can talk. Please, don’t.”

Chen sobs silently, tears streaming down his face. There’s nothing to talk about. You don’t understand.

Suho throws himself towards him, steps pounding loudly against the wooden floor and a hoarse shout tearing from his throat, but his eyes can only watch as the blade seats itself deep through flesh. “No,” he babbles repeatedly over and over again, crumpling weakly to the floor. He clutches Chen’s leg and stares up at him with an unreadable expression.

“You,” he gasps out as Chen fumbles with the window, “it should have been you. Not Kris…”

Blood-slicked fingers finally unlock the catch with a click. Chen’s breath is already gurgling and rattling in his chest and he can feel his heart convulse horribly with each passing second. The sea below is calm, waiting with eternal patience. The waves that had gently rocked the ship before are still and the sad blue is welcomingly serene.

He looks down at the pitiful figure that is Suho, pale face streaming with tears of his own and pleading for him to stay, and he smiles in a way that is almost content.

I’m grateful to have been one of the things many you loved, and even more so to have been a part of your world. Perhaps my love wasn’t enough to keep you by my side, but tonight it will protect you. I can’t find it in myself to take your life, and so instead I will give you mine, because it’s all I have left to give.

Chen throws open the window to its fullest. He steps up onto the sill, and dives home.

Kris comes in moments later to find Suho in the same position, crying into the crook of his elbow. No matter how much Suho stares into the water, he can see nothing in its depths. It is as if the boy from the river had never existed.

There is only the white foam that rides the crests of the waves as they reach up to kiss the shore.