It’s been such a long time we’re apart. Such a long time there’s no more you and I. No more us. All we do now is going our own ways and cherishing the memories of us. We were so good together, everything felt so right back then. People were always saying we were meant for each other; I guess they were right. We were meant to be together, our love had no other choice but shining brightly. But all that belongs to the past

                I still can see you in my mind sometimes. Thinking about your sweet smiles, your sparkling eyes, your soft cheeks will always make me feel better. Despite time flying by, despite space separating us. You will always be in my mind, in my heart. You will forever be a part of me. I will cherish the memories of you like no one ever did.

                I surely could’ve said that life was unfair for splitting us up like that. I surely could’ve found many scapegoats to blame for what happened to us. But what would be the point of doing that anyway? We both know they would be complete lies. We can’t even blame each other or our own selves if we wanted to. It doesn’t have any kind of proper explanation. It just happened like that. No drama, no shouts of anger, no tears in the dark.

                I will always be amazed at how smoothly it went? Just as if we both felt it was time to let go, even if we both still loved each other. It seemed like the right moment as if we knew it would’ve been a mistake to stay together. We managed on time. I know both our hearts got hurt in the process, just as if a part of it had been removed forever.

                We knew deep inside this removed piece was not lost though. Just as we were going away from each other, that piece of heart was following the one it was missing the most. I hope you know you still own mine, just as I pray for having this tiny bit of your heart always with me.

                I felt like I haven’t seen you in ages. Maybe it’s the case, maybe not, I lost track of time. We should probably meet again someday. We’d talk, joke and laugh just like we used to. You would tell me about your current life. Maybe you’re married and have children. Maybe you got that job you wanted so much. I would tell you about me, what happened since the last time we saw each other. I wouldn’t have a lot to tell you. I just had some girlfriends and boyfriends, nothing serious. I got a job, not that good but not that bad either, nothing I’d really complain about. I have friends; all of that makes a rather good life.

                That sounds a bit like the life of a looser, doesn’t it? Let’s just say I don’t want to have more than that. Golden days are far away, so now I just keep going, finding pleasures in little things, not overthinking too much. I bet you’re having such a good life now, after all, you’ve always been more resourceful than me.

                It was probably one of your best qualities. Remember that day in Japan when we got lost and you managed to get us back to our hotel? We were all so frightened for no reason and you were the only one who could still think straight and get us out of this mess. We were all so grateful you kept so calm and were the best at speaking Japanese. We would’ve probably died there without you!

                Oh, and do you remember when our car broke down on our way to a concert and you managed to convince some strangers to take us there? You had such amazing skills at that time, they were like superpowers… Can you still do that, manipulating people as you want? Probably, it’s so useful and you were using it so often, you wouldn’t have forgotten how it works.

                All those memories… You know, they are all printed in my mind. Of course, these ones are not those I prefer, but still, I sometimes recall them and start laughing all alone. You probably already guessed which of the moments I spent with you are engraved in my heart forever.

                I still can feel all the emotions that rushed inside me the first time we kissed. We were practicing together as the others were already gone. I can’t remember how we got this close while dancing, but yet it happened. Our faces were so close to each other I could feel your breath caressing my lips. All I could focus on were yours. I was so nervous. I quickly pecked your lips, stealing a little piece of heaven with mine. It was so short yet I was so proud of myself for doing such a thing.

                But then, my eyes met yours. You looked so shocked and bewildered. What had been the best seconds of my life had suddenly turned into the most stressing moment I’ve ever lived. I remember I tried to come up with some kind of joke to explain what I did, but I was stuttering so much I couldn’t say anything that made sense. Just when I finally calmed down and was about to apologize, the brightest smile I had ever seen got on your lips, and before I could say anything, they were meeting mine again, but this time a lot longer than before. I swear I almost died from a heart attack that day.

                How stupid I was at that time! Not even having the guts to tell you how I felt! But that was quickly forgotten, right? After all, we’d been together for several years after that. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t get back to that period. We were in love, we were both living our dream. I miss it so much? Everything had changed, and not for the best.

                What saddens me the most is not the fact that we’re not performing anymore as U-Kiss. No, it’s the fact we didn’t keep in touch. Of course we tried for a few years. We were all friends after all. But life being what it is, we slowly grew apart. Our paths went different ways. We both tried to see each other a lot, we tried maybe even harder than the others. But then again, we failed. After we broke up, we tried to be friend, but it was too hard for us. Without telling each other, we started standing back, it was better for us, it was less painful.

                You were all I needed. I would have looked into your eyes for decades without getting bored. I would have caressed your face foe centuries without craving for more. I would have loved you for millenniums without dreaming of someone else. You were my reason for smiling, for laughing, for breathing. You were the one that gave my life a sense, the one I was living for.

                It may be too late to tell you all that, but better late than never, right? I know this sounds awfully cheesy, but I’d rather let you know all of this than keeping it for myself a second more. They say you can never forget you first love. This is the truest thing on this whole planet. See? You were my first love, my first everything, and I can’t seem to forget you. Of course, I went my way, living my life on my own, but I always feel like something is missing. And that something is you.

                I did, I do, and I will always love you. Because Kevin, you’re my only one and first love.

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Here it is!!! I feel like it's a bit too short, and it didn't really go the way I wanted it to at first, but yeah. What do you think about it?? This whole 'letter' is written for Kevin, hihi. Who do you think wrote it for him?? Please tell me in the comments, I'm really curious about what you thought about it ^^