You had tears in your eyes. His words spilled into your ears and for the first time since then, you couldn’t hold back your emotions. You just knew that the song was written about you, and you couldn’t even begin to imagine that he felt the same pain that you had for the past six months.

Your heart was breaking all over again just knowing that the words that he sang were the words that were in his heart. Now you could imagine Henry bent over his notebook writing lyrics like he always did, but this time in tears, fighting back the emotions he had for you to put them into this message, this song for you. You hit the repeat button, at least if he was hurting this much why shouldn’t you? You couldn’t bear to turn off the melody that you were sure held the last memory of the two of you.

You replayed that night in your head as the song started over once more. It had been a week before your one year anniversary. The two of you had met when his group was promoting in China. You had been there on a business trip and a friend had taken you to a show. However afterward you ended up running into the group due to mutual friends and the two of you were introduced. You couldn’t believe it, you began dating an idol. The dream of millions of girls unbeknown to you had come true. The two of you were madly in love, and for your sixth month anniversary he even came to visit you in the states.

You had surprised him by telling him about the job offer that you had accepted in Korea, so that the two of you would be closer, you had never seen him happier. It had been a two year contract but you knew in your heart that you would stay there the rest of your life for this man. The move went smoothly and everything was better, he showed up to surprise you on the weekends or after practice. You loved him so much that your heart hurt, but you knew that you were no good for him. You saw yourself distracting him from his work and that was his priority. It didn’t matter how many times he had told you that he was doing well, you would hear the comments the other members made about you and what you were doing to him, hurting him.

You came to the decision that you did because you couldn’t bear to be the reason the Henry fell behind, or even worse the reason he was fired, because it would come to that if he made too many mistakes. So a week before your anniversary, because you couldn’t think of celebrating a year only to rip his heart out. You had suggested that you took a walk along the Han River, rather than staying in and watching a movie like you normally do.

“Henry, I…” you had teared up before you even started, “maybe we should break up.” You had looked at the stunned look on his face and couldn’t hold back anymore. The tears were streaming down your face and it felt as if your heart was being ripped out. You knew that when you walked away you would be leaving the only person you ever wanted to spend your life with, but he was too important to you to ruin his life because you were together.

“Why?” was the only word he was able to form as you realized he too looked as if he was in pain.

“I’m bringing you down, we both know it. I’m just no good for you anymore, I’m sorry but it’s over.” You covered your face as he embraced you in a hug. You had the urge to take it all back and tell him that you still loved him and wanted to be with him forever, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t form the words. He took your face in his hands and pulled you up to look at him. Through your tears and his he leaned in and kissed your forehead.

“Goodbye _______” he whispered and he turned round and walked away, you stood there and watched him. He began to run after some time, and you know that he had taken your heart with him and there could be no way for you to love again, unless you were to love him.

For six months following that day you could barely eat, sleep or even function. You had moved so that he couldn’t come back to find you. It would be as if you had vanished. All you could do was go to work, and even there you barely functioned. Only doing the bare minimum to not get fired. You were not living anymore.

Neither was he. You saw the interviews, you saw the stages, and the once lively man seemed with drawn and sad. It takes time you thought, our hearts have to heal. But after six months you didn’t feel any better. You hated yourself for letting him walk away from you thinking you didn’t care anymore. You were positive that he had left his heart with you just as he had taken his, but after sometime he began to act like his normal self when you couldn’t even get out of bed.

Now sitting here listening to this song, this English song, you knew. You somehow had a smile creep up onto your face. For the first time in six months you had the energy to get up, to get ready and ran out the door. The whole journey you had his song playing in your ear. You couldn’t even think about stopping it. You reached your destination out of breath. You had ran most of the way. You just wanted to see him.

There was a group of girls waiting outside their dorm. By the sounds of the conversations the boys had yet to return home and they planned to stay as long as they needed to, just to see their Oppas. Not even five minutes later their black van showed up. The girls ran to line up, you however stayed to the back, and you just wanted to see him. The boys started to get out, as soon as you saw him, your breath stopped.

Everything about that man caused your heart to beat again, he smiled as one of the members said something in his ear. His smile brought you joy. He looked happy, he was successful, and you were not there to drag him down. He must be doing much better. Even though that made you a little sad, you knew it was for the best and maybe seeing him like this was what you needed to get out of your downfall.

“________!” Leeteuk grabbed your arm. He looked angry. “What are you doing here?!” Yep he was angry.

“I just, I just had to see him once” you pleaded, “I just needed to know that he was okay.” You looked away ashamed.

“Well you saw him,” His voice was different. “But the Henry you just saw isn’t him. He can’t sleep, he can’t eat, and he can barely function. All because you left him. I helped him look for you but you had changed your number and moved without a trace. It broke him ______, you broke him.” Leeteuk looked helpless over his friend and you broke down. You explained how you still loved him and how you never stopped and that Henry was the first and last thing you thought of each day. You explained to him why you had even broken up with his friend.

Leeteuk looked down apathetically. “Come on” he grabbed your hand and took you inside. “You are going to see him and tell him exactly what you just told me. Because I know he still loves you too.” He pulled you through the dorm and felt everyone’s eyes on you. Ryeowook and you made eye contact and he just nodded as if he knew your thoughts. He left you outside Henrys door, and walked away.

You made your way inside and the lights were already off. You could make out his shape on the bed, and could hear the sobs coming from him. It broke your heart. How could someone that was just smiling and laughing be broken like this? You knew it was all your fault. You couldn’t even say any words, you just walked over to the bed and slid in between the blankets and wrapped your arms around him.

You surprised him and he jumped a little, but he didn’t hit you. You leaned into his neck and left a kiss. He turned around to face you, and he was shocked, you could see the surprise behind his tearstained face. You knew you had to explain, so you did. You told him everything and more. How he never left your mind and how you were in the same shape he was and the only time you smiled in the last six months was when you saw him.

“I love you Henry Lau,” you stated, “I love you so much, I never stopped and I never will.” He pulled you into a hug and felt a smile against your ear. He pulled away from the hug to lean down and met his lips with yours.

“I love you too,” He whispered, “please don’t leave me again, I don’t know how to live with out you”

You looked into his eyes ‘I wouldn’t dare”